(no subject)
So like, two weeks ago, Natalia took me to Barnes and Noble. While we were there she bought a gift for Chad and I bought this Astrology book that hit the nail on the head so well it was scary. Then I read like.. 80% of the Gemini stuff to Gohan and Neko and they were both 'Hell yes!' more than not.
Natalia used the compatibility part of the book to see how things should've/could've gone with our respective ex-loves. Taurus and Libra is apparently a no-go. Cancer and Taurus coud be a match made in Heaven.
Natalia and I just sulked though and got depressed, so she bought me a chocolate bar to eat later after I broke my fast. I need to stop craving sweets when I'm upset. I'm gonna get so fat.
Hm, anyway. After my doctor appointment, we went to Cheapo and I bought three CDs. Two used, one new. 3 Doors Down - The Better Life, Puddle of Mudd - Come Clean, and NickelBack - All The Right Reasons.
I've heard some of the 3 Doors Down songs on the 'The Better Life' CD, I've heard one or two of Puddle of Mudd but I'm really obsessing over my new Nickelback one. I also wanted this Unwritten Law CD, and Dane Cook's CD, but I couldn't find Dane Cook and I couldn't find a used version of Unwritten Law. So, sucks for me. There's always next time and I'm happy with my purchases. I don't think I'll have to buy anything new anytime soon, though. I can't seem to stop listening to the NickelBack CD. I tried changing it to Puddle of Mudd, but immediately switched back to NickelBack. Yeah. It's just that great.
And as a small update, it's a good thing I didn't buy 'em 'cause Gin, the sweetie, managed to get a friend of hers to burn me most of Dane's CDs. Score.
Back to the book. I almost had to laugh at how the book described my tantrums because it was so true. And because I'm vain, here are some excerpts of the Cancer persona.
You are more vulnerable than the average person.
You're at the mercy of your moods, a slave to your sensitivities, and a miserable victim of the full moon. You're so insecure that you live your life from a place of defense, conjecture, and downright suspicion.
Your emotions batter you about until there is nothing left but one weepy woman who wants to be left alone to choke and drown in her own tears. However, if it happens to be a day when you feel more irritable than melancholy, you might massacre someone else's feelings with one savagely sarcastic comment that comes down like a swift blow to the brain. Instantaneously, you can turn into a cold, critical barracuda. However, while one very innocent victim is left blubbering and berating himself for what he must have done to cause such a cruel comment, what he doesn't realize is that it's a displaced anger releasing itself.
When really provoked, you can get hysterical and throw the kind of tantrum that tempts a bystander to give you anything that you want just to buy some peace.
You have a penchant for falling in love with the kind of man who can never quite make up his mind--about you.
Usually, everything else is quite clear to him. He knows how he feels about his mother, his great-aunt, his job, his boss, his secretary, his ex-wife, his first girlfriend when he was twelve, and his dog. But you... the brow furrows. The ebullient enthusiasm drops off to a few dragged-out monosyllables, the corneas get cloudy, and the phrases become dangerously uncommitted. Suddenly you feel like an anxiety-ridden dinner guest with a dish of unedible food in front of you and no hungry dog sitting underneath the table. You stand there holding your breath as he bends over to tie his shoes, hoping feverently that when he stands up, he'll say something.
He does. Good-bye.
Too often, you become enslaved in situations where the level of human warmth just barely exceeds that of an institution for the criminally insane. When you stubbornly clutch at what's worst for you, without considering what you're really doing to yourself, you create an unfortunate personal injustice that may take years to rectify in your own mind.
You're usually the one to make an early commitment. After the fifth date, it's not beyond you to start worrying about whether you're going to wear a traditional veil at the wedding.
Once you consciously make a commitment to a person or situation, you view it seriously and do your best to fulfill your part.
You carefully conceal your feelings and suffer inside. Marital fidelity is crucial to your sense of well-being, for the pain you can suffer from such disillusionment is strong enough to endanger your emotional makeup for years to come, as you cling to those tormented feelings.
You have a way of looking at all your lovers as prospective marriage partners and mentally assuring yourself that it's just a matter of time. Meanwhile, the object of your intense affections could be telling you in little ways that the only possibility is a freer kind of love that does not and never will include marriage. However, chances are that you'll make yourself believe that this person is suffering a brain fever and will soon recover his or her senses.
Love means everything, and without it you're a miserable person trying to make the best of things.
You are a highly emotional individual who often allows sentiment to saturate your romantic experiences. Therefore, it is not unlikely that you have suffered some bitter disappointments because of your relentless subjectivity.
Until you find your partner, a subliminal kind of pain seems to sift through you.
And that's just a tiny excerpt. There are pages of information. And I'll probably be willing to read/type about anyone to anyone for the next few days.
In a nutshell, I'm doomed unless I can find someone crazy enough to hold a ... barracuda, was it? and listen while she vents her heart out, all the while knowing she still loves him and her anger isn't purposely directed at him.
I've been told already no one is so perfect they'll put up with all of -my- vices. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
My mom confronted me about leaving and while she hasn't said when... it's pretty much solid she's leaving. She said that she and my dad need a break from each other. What they really need is to go live on opposite sides of the Earth and stay there.
My mom gave me her cell phone, though. It's with Cingular and pretty nifty. Except I think I broke it already. Oops? Pity since now if Eric actually cares enough to call me, I won't get the call. Guess I should get it fixed soon.
ALSO. I bought a carnivorous plant called a Cobra Lily and she's the cutest thing in the world. Natalia bought one too. Then went back and bought one for a friend and a second one for herself. And we both are so addicted and want some more. I even saw mine eat a lady bug.
My dad blew his last fuse this weekend. He absolutely went psychotic and unlike my usual self, I had a time with him and pretty much flipped him off with my silence rather than my fingers. And then I pulled my usual stunt and locked myself in the bathroom. But even though I shook as if I was sobbing and my eyes watered up, no tears fell. For once. About time.
We finally made it to Chicago, too, to see my mom's sister from Germany and 3 of her five daughters. One is my age, Razan, and she's gorgeous. We're both Cancers apparently, and it wasn't until the end we started to talk and hang out together. I love my Uncle Omar, who I affectionately refer to as The Dude, and it was heartbreaking having to leave him. It was hard leaving anyone there. My grandma is so ill, and I'm worried sick for her. They're coming here on Thursday and we're making plans to go to Dubai over Christmas break... but when we said bye the only ones who didn't cry were me, the 15-month old baby, my grandpa (as far as I saw) and Natalia. Don't get me wrong. I felt like crying, but the tears just wouldn't come once again.
Blah blah blah. This is a hella long. And it could go on to be ten times longer, but I'll spare you all that ramble.
~'This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
You know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
You know, you know
That I loved you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know..
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I need you
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Hold on to me and
Never let me go'~
--I did say I was obsessed, didn't I? Bugger off.
Natalia used the compatibility part of the book to see how things should've/could've gone with our respective ex-loves. Taurus and Libra is apparently a no-go. Cancer and Taurus coud be a match made in Heaven.
Natalia and I just sulked though and got depressed, so she bought me a chocolate bar to eat later after I broke my fast. I need to stop craving sweets when I'm upset. I'm gonna get so fat.
Hm, anyway. After my doctor appointment, we went to Cheapo and I bought three CDs. Two used, one new. 3 Doors Down - The Better Life, Puddle of Mudd - Come Clean, and NickelBack - All The Right Reasons.
I've heard some of the 3 Doors Down songs on the 'The Better Life' CD, I've heard one or two of Puddle of Mudd but I'm really obsessing over my new Nickelback one. I also wanted this Unwritten Law CD, and Dane Cook's CD, but I couldn't find Dane Cook and I couldn't find a used version of Unwritten Law. So, sucks for me. There's always next time and I'm happy with my purchases. I don't think I'll have to buy anything new anytime soon, though. I can't seem to stop listening to the NickelBack CD. I tried changing it to Puddle of Mudd, but immediately switched back to NickelBack. Yeah. It's just that great.
And as a small update, it's a good thing I didn't buy 'em 'cause Gin, the sweetie, managed to get a friend of hers to burn me most of Dane's CDs. Score.
Back to the book. I almost had to laugh at how the book described my tantrums because it was so true. And because I'm vain, here are some excerpts of the Cancer persona.
You are more vulnerable than the average person.
You're at the mercy of your moods, a slave to your sensitivities, and a miserable victim of the full moon. You're so insecure that you live your life from a place of defense, conjecture, and downright suspicion.
Your emotions batter you about until there is nothing left but one weepy woman who wants to be left alone to choke and drown in her own tears. However, if it happens to be a day when you feel more irritable than melancholy, you might massacre someone else's feelings with one savagely sarcastic comment that comes down like a swift blow to the brain. Instantaneously, you can turn into a cold, critical barracuda. However, while one very innocent victim is left blubbering and berating himself for what he must have done to cause such a cruel comment, what he doesn't realize is that it's a displaced anger releasing itself.
When really provoked, you can get hysterical and throw the kind of tantrum that tempts a bystander to give you anything that you want just to buy some peace.
You have a penchant for falling in love with the kind of man who can never quite make up his mind--about you.
Usually, everything else is quite clear to him. He knows how he feels about his mother, his great-aunt, his job, his boss, his secretary, his ex-wife, his first girlfriend when he was twelve, and his dog. But you... the brow furrows. The ebullient enthusiasm drops off to a few dragged-out monosyllables, the corneas get cloudy, and the phrases become dangerously uncommitted. Suddenly you feel like an anxiety-ridden dinner guest with a dish of unedible food in front of you and no hungry dog sitting underneath the table. You stand there holding your breath as he bends over to tie his shoes, hoping feverently that when he stands up, he'll say something.
He does. Good-bye.
Too often, you become enslaved in situations where the level of human warmth just barely exceeds that of an institution for the criminally insane. When you stubbornly clutch at what's worst for you, without considering what you're really doing to yourself, you create an unfortunate personal injustice that may take years to rectify in your own mind.
You're usually the one to make an early commitment. After the fifth date, it's not beyond you to start worrying about whether you're going to wear a traditional veil at the wedding.
Once you consciously make a commitment to a person or situation, you view it seriously and do your best to fulfill your part.
You carefully conceal your feelings and suffer inside. Marital fidelity is crucial to your sense of well-being, for the pain you can suffer from such disillusionment is strong enough to endanger your emotional makeup for years to come, as you cling to those tormented feelings.
You have a way of looking at all your lovers as prospective marriage partners and mentally assuring yourself that it's just a matter of time. Meanwhile, the object of your intense affections could be telling you in little ways that the only possibility is a freer kind of love that does not and never will include marriage. However, chances are that you'll make yourself believe that this person is suffering a brain fever and will soon recover his or her senses.
Love means everything, and without it you're a miserable person trying to make the best of things.
You are a highly emotional individual who often allows sentiment to saturate your romantic experiences. Therefore, it is not unlikely that you have suffered some bitter disappointments because of your relentless subjectivity.
Until you find your partner, a subliminal kind of pain seems to sift through you.
And that's just a tiny excerpt. There are pages of information. And I'll probably be willing to read/type about anyone to anyone for the next few days.
In a nutshell, I'm doomed unless I can find someone crazy enough to hold a ... barracuda, was it? and listen while she vents her heart out, all the while knowing she still loves him and her anger isn't purposely directed at him.
I've been told already no one is so perfect they'll put up with all of -my- vices. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
My mom confronted me about leaving and while she hasn't said when... it's pretty much solid she's leaving. She said that she and my dad need a break from each other. What they really need is to go live on opposite sides of the Earth and stay there.
My mom gave me her cell phone, though. It's with Cingular and pretty nifty. Except I think I broke it already. Oops? Pity since now if Eric actually cares enough to call me, I won't get the call. Guess I should get it fixed soon.
ALSO. I bought a carnivorous plant called a Cobra Lily and she's the cutest thing in the world. Natalia bought one too. Then went back and bought one for a friend and a second one for herself. And we both are so addicted and want some more. I even saw mine eat a lady bug.
My dad blew his last fuse this weekend. He absolutely went psychotic and unlike my usual self, I had a time with him and pretty much flipped him off with my silence rather than my fingers. And then I pulled my usual stunt and locked myself in the bathroom. But even though I shook as if I was sobbing and my eyes watered up, no tears fell. For once. About time.
We finally made it to Chicago, too, to see my mom's sister from Germany and 3 of her five daughters. One is my age, Razan, and she's gorgeous. We're both Cancers apparently, and it wasn't until the end we started to talk and hang out together. I love my Uncle Omar, who I affectionately refer to as The Dude, and it was heartbreaking having to leave him. It was hard leaving anyone there. My grandma is so ill, and I'm worried sick for her. They're coming here on Thursday and we're making plans to go to Dubai over Christmas break... but when we said bye the only ones who didn't cry were me, the 15-month old baby, my grandpa (as far as I saw) and Natalia. Don't get me wrong. I felt like crying, but the tears just wouldn't come once again.
Blah blah blah. This is a hella long. And it could go on to be ten times longer, but I'll spare you all that ramble.
~'This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
You know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
You know, you know
That I loved you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know..
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I need you
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Hold on to me and
Never let me go'~
--I did say I was obsessed, didn't I? Bugger off.