Life, the universe and everything.

[erthling91]

The reason I'm writing today is because I've compiled a short, serious list of things that men who are in long-term relationships tend to ignore, and I want it to be out there that a Women's List of Rules doesn't just have to be 'The woman is always right!' and other such crap. So, here it goes.

A Woman's List of Rules:

1.  Let her know, in plain words, what you intentions are if you don't want a woman to suspect that you're leaving her out of something, to get insulted by your absence, or to feel insulted by your actions. After that point, if she gets upset, there's usually an underlying reason that has nothing to do with that moment. Be patient with her and give her some space.
2. Don't be rude or vague when asked to help pick an outfit. If your woman asks you a question, such as "Which of these pairs of shoes do you think I should wear?" or "Do I look okay in this dress?" don't panic, and definitely don't tell her that anything will look fine. Pause, look her up and down, then ask her what SHE thinks. Not which pair she would prefer, but something more like, "I'm not sure, babe/honey/sweetheart/her name, have you made your own choice about it?" She wont know what hit her. She'll be confused by your question, because most men will either immediately state a preference or tell her she'll look fine in anything. Usually she's already made up her mind about which pair she prefers and is looking to you for affirmation, so when she gives you her reasons why she would wear one pair over the other, smile and tell her she's made a great choice, and that they'll look wonderful with what she's wearing! You'll be sure to win some respect, and have a great time with your pretty little lady.
3. The things you say do NOT have an expiration date. Don't expect her to forget things you say that she has found offensive unless you have taken the time to apologize. Just because you were joking and knew it doesn't mean that your tone of voice or smile made that clear. Women aren't always the fastest to pick up on banter, because when women talk to each other there are always bits of truth behind joking insults. 
4. If you are in an amorous mood, DO NOT SIMPLY ASK HER FOR SEX. This will get you rebuffed instead of getting lucky. Requesting the touching, rubbing or bumping of fuzzies with a woman is crude and offensive to her. While a man loves the idea of their significant other just up and initiating sex bluntly, women want you to coax them. You want her to want you, you need to play the teasing game. You need to send her heavy-eyed looks, grins, full-blown smiles. You need to briefly touch her arm near her elbow and at the small of her back, not her tush! Walk up behind her and let her feel your body pressed to hers, and the heat of your breath on her neck for a few moments, then follow up with your lips pressed against her. It'll get her skin tingling to be touched, her breathing sharper and her hands itching to touch you back. This works pretty much every time. Extend your 'game' over a whole afternoon or evening, and soon enough she'll be wanting to rip your clothes off!