002
I was rated...an eight out of ten? Hmm. And my dear Guy wouldn't say anything.
Not that I'm worried or anything. I just don't know if they were judging me according to my best...assets. ((ooc: Link probably NSFW. Nothing nude, but good lord her boobs are very...there.))
I'm staying with Jade now. ♥ He keeps doing that irritated sigh when I forget to pick up after myself. It's just like being home. I managed to bump into him the other day and followed him home. When he got back to his place, he gave me that slightly annoyed look and eventually told me to get in (after a few minutes of us staring at each other, I might add).
He says I can crash on his sofa as long as I need to. ♥ I think it bothers him when I drink the milk from the carton, but he says I don't have to wear pants. Apparently he's testing to see if this keeps Dist from visiting. Good enough for me. He also explained a fair bit about this place to me and I think I've figured out this other level of consciousness. Easier than using a fonic arte, at least. I'll never figure out how Mr. "I'll just pop open a fon slot and obliterate half a nation" Curtiss manages it.
I had a dream last night.
He was there, of course. He and the rest of the soldiers were looking for me, and they found me.
I was watching him pull my broken little body out of the ravine. There was just that dull emptiness on his face as he carried me back to the camp, passing the rows of soldiers and giving them not a glance. It was like everything had become one great emptiness and he finally rested my poor body on my cot.
He was still trying to understand. There was no sadness, just that immense quiet that he seemed to carry within himself and it covered over everything. He almost absently fussed over me, righting my unbuckled belt and setting my hair in place again, and again there was nothing, just that great "why" that settled in the small tent that we shared.
And in that moment it was like we both understood at once that there really was no way to bring the princess back to life like they did in stories. That, no matter how the brave sir knight might try, she was gone. I was gone, forever.
Then was the sadness, that gripping sorrow that welled up from his soul and the truth became not that I had simply died, but that had he not brought me here, I would not have.
I'm so sorry, Jade. I failed you, didn't I? You were always trying so hard to watch out for me and we always used to talk about one day everything would be peaceful again and we would always be friends. I was always the one constant in your life.
I ruined that. I'm sorry. I can only hope that this time, this time you understand. That no matter how hard it might be, you might finally understand what it means for someone to be gone. Forever. I cannot believe that my death was for nothing.
I hope that you can be happy. That you can find someone else that understands you and all that you are.
My only regret is that the fine suit I made for you will be worn to my funeral. You never did want to wear anything I made you, simple fear of ruining my chances at wedding a fine noble making you tuck everything away in your trunks. I suppose we don't have to worry about that anymore, do we?
Not that I'm worried or anything. I just don't know if they were judging me according to my best...assets. ((ooc: Link probably NSFW. Nothing nude, but good lord her boobs are very...there.))
I'm staying with Jade now. ♥ He keeps doing that irritated sigh when I forget to pick up after myself. It's just like being home. I managed to bump into him the other day and followed him home. When he got back to his place, he gave me that slightly annoyed look and eventually told me to get in (after a few minutes of us staring at each other, I might add).
He says I can crash on his sofa as long as I need to. ♥ I think it bothers him when I drink the milk from the carton, but he says I don't have to wear pants. Apparently he's testing to see if this keeps Dist from visiting. Good enough for me. He also explained a fair bit about this place to me and I think I've figured out this other level of consciousness. Easier than using a fonic arte, at least. I'll never figure out how Mr. "I'll just pop open a fon slot and obliterate half a nation" Curtiss manages it.
I had a dream last night.
He was there, of course. He and the rest of the soldiers were looking for me, and they found me.
I was watching him pull my broken little body out of the ravine. There was just that dull emptiness on his face as he carried me back to the camp, passing the rows of soldiers and giving them not a glance. It was like everything had become one great emptiness and he finally rested my poor body on my cot.
He was still trying to understand. There was no sadness, just that immense quiet that he seemed to carry within himself and it covered over everything. He almost absently fussed over me, righting my unbuckled belt and setting my hair in place again, and again there was nothing, just that great "why" that settled in the small tent that we shared.
And in that moment it was like we both understood at once that there really was no way to bring the princess back to life like they did in stories. That, no matter how the brave sir knight might try, she was gone. I was gone, forever.
Then was the sadness, that gripping sorrow that welled up from his soul and the truth became not that I had simply died, but that had he not brought me here, I would not have.
I'm so sorry, Jade. I failed you, didn't I? You were always trying so hard to watch out for me and we always used to talk about one day everything would be peaceful again and we would always be friends. I was always the one constant in your life.
I ruined that. I'm sorry. I can only hope that this time, this time you understand. That no matter how hard it might be, you might finally understand what it means for someone to be gone. Forever. I cannot believe that my death was for nothing.
I hope that you can be happy. That you can find someone else that understands you and all that you are.
My only regret is that the fine suit I made for you will be worn to my funeral. You never did want to wear anything I made you, simple fear of ruining my chances at wedding a fine noble making you tuck everything away in your trunks. I suppose we don't have to worry about that anymore, do we?