A Trip I Do Not Want To Take
I received word yesterday that Grandpa has entered the end stage of his life and will likely pass in the next day or so, so I am expecting I will be flying to NC for a funeral likely by the weekend from the sound of things. My emotions are all over the place on this. On one hand, Grandpa has lived a LONG life, 100 years and 7 months. Up until the past month, he was totally in his right mind, but declined last month when he got a urinary tract infection. I am guessing that he is at a point where he pretty much decided he was done. I should be thankful that I grew up with he and Grandma only one mile down the road from us and I got to spend a phenomenal amount of time with them both while growing up. I should also be thankful that I have had him in my life to near the age of 50 - not many can stake that kind of claim.
However, that longevity also brings a tremendous amount of sadness at his passing. I felt the same way when my grandmothers both passed 11 and 9 years ago respectively. I have cried several times over the past several days and will likely cry a lot more before this process is over. I so want to be there right now to say a proper good bye to him, but I did at least have the chance to spend time with him at Christmas before I left to talk with him a bit, give him a hug and tell him that I love him as I was heading to Alabama that day. I knew as I drove away that it was likely the last time I would see him alive, but I also knew as I left that since I was his oldest grandson, I had likely been company too him a good deal more than any of his other grandchildren. I can cherish that thought at least.
So, I will be flying to Raleigh when I go. I am doing this on purpose as my sister-in-law is due Monday for the birth of my nephew. If I have to be home for such a sad event, I really hope I get to experience some joy on this trip as well.
My favorite photo of Grandpa and I...
However, that longevity also brings a tremendous amount of sadness at his passing. I felt the same way when my grandmothers both passed 11 and 9 years ago respectively. I have cried several times over the past several days and will likely cry a lot more before this process is over. I so want to be there right now to say a proper good bye to him, but I did at least have the chance to spend time with him at Christmas before I left to talk with him a bit, give him a hug and tell him that I love him as I was heading to Alabama that day. I knew as I drove away that it was likely the last time I would see him alive, but I also knew as I left that since I was his oldest grandson, I had likely been company too him a good deal more than any of his other grandchildren. I can cherish that thought at least.
So, I will be flying to Raleigh when I go. I am doing this on purpose as my sister-in-law is due Monday for the birth of my nephew. If I have to be home for such a sad event, I really hope I get to experience some joy on this trip as well.
My favorite photo of Grandpa and I...