(no subject)
Okay so some things happened last night, and as amazing as those events were they've got me thinking way to much. I've seriously thought about what happened like a million times, and have hoped somewhere that it might happen since like junior year, I'm a loser I get it, but it finally happened, and it was great, and you were sweet and nice and good and just yah...but where does that leave us. Am I supposed to just go on and pretend that nothing happened, or do you feel something your not telling me because you made the first move, or was it really just because of the alcohol? In reality I wouldn't even be thinking about any of this if I had something to do, but I've been sitting home for hours with nothing to do but let my brain over think everything like ALWAYS. God one day I just want to get past being a 12 year old girl and be mature.
In reality I don't even think I'm ready for anything serious, because I'm not done discovering who I am as a person. I'm not done becoming the person I want to be as an adult, I'm still a child, and I wouldn't want anything to happen and then we break up and then your gone for the rest of my life. I need to wait until I'm ready to settle down and your ready for whatever life gives us.
So in the end just ignore everything I just wrote, if you even still check my journal. I'm a mess but I'll be okay in a few days. I just needed to get it out there. One day I promise I'll grow up.
In reality I don't even think I'm ready for anything serious, because I'm not done discovering who I am as a person. I'm not done becoming the person I want to be as an adult, I'm still a child, and I wouldn't want anything to happen and then we break up and then your gone for the rest of my life. I need to wait until I'm ready to settle down and your ready for whatever life gives us.
So in the end just ignore everything I just wrote, if you even still check my journal. I'm a mess but I'll be okay in a few days. I just needed to get it out there. One day I promise I'll grow up.