brian quotes galore
here's a list of all the best (well, most, i guess) brian quotes. thanks to everyone who helped! :)
*"so are you coming or going? or coming, and then going? or coming and staying?" - 101
"well what is this, a missile launch?" - 101
"A-B-C-D-E-E-E!" - 101
"good boy. you get an a+" - 101
"why do i do these things?" - 101
"there's no such thing as enough. besides, i couldn’t send him off without a nourishing high-protein breakfast. it's grrreat!" - 101
*"you should have just said, 'i take it up the ass, sweetheart, deal with it.'" - 102
"so, dawson, how are things down at the creek?" - 102
"i don't believe in love; i believe in fucking. it's honest, it's efficient; you get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit." - 102
"in fact, he's kind of sweet." - 103
"didn't your mom ever teach you to wash your hands?" - 103
"are you going to come eat the chicken?" - 104
"i tune out self pity, it makes my dick soft." - 106
"fuck groups." "i thought you did." "occasionally. but it's by invitation only." - 106
"wassup is you left my door unlocked. wassup is this is not a hotel room, and you're not on your blond ambition tour. wassup is your mother paid me a little visit today. and finally, wassup is you're going to take off my shirt and clean up your shit." - 108
*"he's gonna get an extra special kick, later. now you can either stand around here eatin' jambalaya or you can come upstairs and eat mah ass!" - 108
"so in other words, for justin to live here with you, he has to deny who he is, what he thinks, and how he feels. well, that's not love. that's hate." - 108
*"and you look lovely." - 109
*"fan-fucking-tastic." - 110
"are these particularly hard questions?" - 112
"you said it was an alliance. what better way for everyone to come together?" - 116
*"what if my aunt had balls? she'd be my uncle." - 117
*"hey, novotny!" - 117
"you should do him." "what do you mean, 'do him'?" "i'll get you an instruction manual." - 118
"what's up, doc?" - 118
*"and after all the trouble i went to, to make you the best homosexual i could. ... yeah, lucky for you, otherwise i wouldn't be wasting my time. but it's too late now. there's no turning back." - 118
"i thought i'd recapture my lost youth." - 122
*"even if it was ridiculously romantic." - 122
"why are you doing this?" "what, driving with no hands?" - 202
*"and then you turned around and, um, smiled. then i knew why debbie calls you 'sunshine.'" - 202
*"like the first time?" - 202
"the kids at school will like, puke they'll be like, so jealous...i'd run away screaming, but it's been a long day." - 203
*"hey stud, wanna dance? ... i promise you won't forget this one." - 204
"i thought you might be greasin' the old pole." - 205
"what if a condom breaks? or he's flossing his teeth and his gums bleed?" "or he shoots off his load and you're bending over to tie your shoe and it accidentally flies up your ass." - 207
"we're really lucky." "what, living in this land of plenty? ... i want you safe, i want you around for a long time." - 207
"have you tried soaking it?" "how about a cold shower?" "what about scaring it?" "that's hiccups." "BOO!" ... "good idea. why don't you two show him your tits?" ... "why, what's next monday?" "flag day!" - 209
"what kind of homosexual are you?" "the kind that fucks men." - 213
*"little mikey's jealous! little mikey's jealous! ... you think they did it? you think he slipped her the big greaser? ... it's just your garden variety, oedipal thing. all your life you've been her little man, and all of a sudden some big old dick pops up and threatens to take her away. and you're hurt, you're angry, you're mad enough to kill." - 214
"you have anything on you?" "yeah, 16 pounds of cocaine and 24 ounces of heroin." "this is no time to be funny!" "who's being funny? ... officer, i'd be more than happy to drive these two gentlemen home." - 214
"home by three or my balls turn into pumpkins." - 214
"it's fucking four in the morning." "creativity doesn't punch a time clock!" "oh my god, that is so profound. can you hold on a minute while i write it down?" - 215
"i'm not an asshole, i was just drawn that way." - 215
"hey sunshine! your partner just made partner." - 217
"i'm immune." "to penicillin? to clever literary references." - 219
"go take a shower. you stink." - 219
"my widdle key." - 301
"gotta piss." - 301
*"ah milked it mahself. ... yo bitches, i'm offering to lend a hand." - 303
"i haven't sold my soul, i'm just billing for time and expenses." - 305
*"you expect him to sacrifice his career for a piece of blond boy ass? is that your idea of true love, sunshine?" - 305
"ben needs more muscles like i need another cock." - 306
*"do i detect a discordant note in love's tender refrain?" - 307
"i guess there's no accounting for some people's taste." - 307
*"the ubiquitous justin taylor. ... what happened to the love that was gonna last for an eternity?" - 308
*"that is so like you! you don't hear what you want, so you leave. try standing up for yourself for a change. have some balls." - 308
*"you also understand that you'll be required to work long, hard hours, sometimes...deep into the night? ... and you are never to play violin music in my presence again." - 308
"that's a difficult question to answer given the limitations of the language, the conventionality of most people's thinking. let's just say he's the guy i fuck more than once." - 309
"yeah, and don't forget - she's a cwazy wesbian!" - 310
*"this sucks." "and not in a positive, life-affirming way." - 311
"aaamazing." - 311
"when did you get to be such a clever devil?" - 311
"wanna finish?" - 311
"your secret's safe with me, señorita." - 311
"i've got to hand it to you, kid, you've got a lot of, spunk." - 313
"well, he already has a boyfriend." "you do?" "in a non-defined, non-conventional way, yeah." - 313
"we're cop-ulating." - 314
"it's a shame, we make such a lovely couple. we're both...tall." - 314
"i think i'm experiencing possession withdrawal. i need to lie down." - 314
"some asshole told me that if you believe in something strongly enough, you have to be willing to sacrifice everything." - 314
"special as in unique, fabulous, one-of-a-kind, or special as in there are schools where they can teach them to dress themselves?" - 401
"it was either cut my expenses or cut my wrists, so i just opted for the tidier of the two." - 401
"i'd rather have my tongue super-glued to a lesbian's twat." - 402
"yeah well, that's the thing about being a superhero. the average person thinks it's all about stopping two planets from colliding or saving the universe from being swallowed by a black hole. but most days, it's just your average run-of-the-mill good deeds." - 403
"i've always dreamed of having an office with a drain in the floor." - 403
"but like jesus, and liza, and judy, he's making a comeback." - 403
*"show me on the doll where the bad man touched you." - 405
*"i'm still g-g-g-gorgeous!" - 414
"would you stop using the word 'seriously'?" - 414
"and as for the times when you're not around, i wouldn't particularly mind it if you were. ... well, then what do you say? should i make room in my drawers for your drawers?" - 414
"i'm a cock-sucker! i'm queer! and to anyone who takes pity or offense, i say, 'judge yourself.' this is where i live. this is who i am." - 501
"how do you like, 'when you're hungry for a big cock!'? yeah, they didn't like it either." - 503
"not before you give me some, mon amour." - 504
"i'm not going to their fucking party." "why not?" "because i'm going to a fucking party." - 506
"you finally grew a heart." "maybe you'll have the same luck growing a penis." - 513
"whether we see each other next weekend or next month...or never again, it doesn’t matter. it's only time." - 513
"you did it. ... became, the best homosexual you could possibly be." - 513
"listen to me. are you listening?" - 102, 218, 304, 403, 501, and others. if anyone knows any specifically, please tell me.
"yo, bitches, tear each other's hair out later." - ?
thank you professor kinney, i've learned so much! :P
*"so are you coming or going? or coming, and then going? or coming and staying?" - 101
"well what is this, a missile launch?" - 101
"A-B-C-D-E-E-E!" - 101
"good boy. you get an a+" - 101
"why do i do these things?" - 101
"there's no such thing as enough. besides, i couldn’t send him off without a nourishing high-protein breakfast. it's grrreat!" - 101
*"you should have just said, 'i take it up the ass, sweetheart, deal with it.'" - 102
"so, dawson, how are things down at the creek?" - 102
"i don't believe in love; i believe in fucking. it's honest, it's efficient; you get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit." - 102
"in fact, he's kind of sweet." - 103
"didn't your mom ever teach you to wash your hands?" - 103
"are you going to come eat the chicken?" - 104
"i tune out self pity, it makes my dick soft." - 106
"fuck groups." "i thought you did." "occasionally. but it's by invitation only." - 106
"wassup is you left my door unlocked. wassup is this is not a hotel room, and you're not on your blond ambition tour. wassup is your mother paid me a little visit today. and finally, wassup is you're going to take off my shirt and clean up your shit." - 108
*"he's gonna get an extra special kick, later. now you can either stand around here eatin' jambalaya or you can come upstairs and eat mah ass!" - 108
"so in other words, for justin to live here with you, he has to deny who he is, what he thinks, and how he feels. well, that's not love. that's hate." - 108
*"and you look lovely." - 109
*"fan-fucking-tastic." - 110
"are these particularly hard questions?" - 112
"you said it was an alliance. what better way for everyone to come together?" - 116
*"what if my aunt had balls? she'd be my uncle." - 117
*"hey, novotny!" - 117
"you should do him." "what do you mean, 'do him'?" "i'll get you an instruction manual." - 118
"what's up, doc?" - 118
*"and after all the trouble i went to, to make you the best homosexual i could. ... yeah, lucky for you, otherwise i wouldn't be wasting my time. but it's too late now. there's no turning back." - 118
"i thought i'd recapture my lost youth." - 122
*"even if it was ridiculously romantic." - 122
"why are you doing this?" "what, driving with no hands?" - 202
*"and then you turned around and, um, smiled. then i knew why debbie calls you 'sunshine.'" - 202
*"like the first time?" - 202
"the kids at school will like, puke they'll be like, so jealous...i'd run away screaming, but it's been a long day." - 203
*"hey stud, wanna dance? ... i promise you won't forget this one." - 204
"i thought you might be greasin' the old pole." - 205
"what if a condom breaks? or he's flossing his teeth and his gums bleed?" "or he shoots off his load and you're bending over to tie your shoe and it accidentally flies up your ass." - 207
"we're really lucky." "what, living in this land of plenty? ... i want you safe, i want you around for a long time." - 207
"have you tried soaking it?" "how about a cold shower?" "what about scaring it?" "that's hiccups." "BOO!" ... "good idea. why don't you two show him your tits?" ... "why, what's next monday?" "flag day!" - 209
"what kind of homosexual are you?" "the kind that fucks men." - 213
*"little mikey's jealous! little mikey's jealous! ... you think they did it? you think he slipped her the big greaser? ... it's just your garden variety, oedipal thing. all your life you've been her little man, and all of a sudden some big old dick pops up and threatens to take her away. and you're hurt, you're angry, you're mad enough to kill." - 214
"you have anything on you?" "yeah, 16 pounds of cocaine and 24 ounces of heroin." "this is no time to be funny!" "who's being funny? ... officer, i'd be more than happy to drive these two gentlemen home." - 214
"home by three or my balls turn into pumpkins." - 214
"it's fucking four in the morning." "creativity doesn't punch a time clock!" "oh my god, that is so profound. can you hold on a minute while i write it down?" - 215
"i'm not an asshole, i was just drawn that way." - 215
"hey sunshine! your partner just made partner." - 217
"i'm immune." "to penicillin? to clever literary references." - 219
"go take a shower. you stink." - 219
"my widdle key." - 301
"gotta piss." - 301
*"ah milked it mahself. ... yo bitches, i'm offering to lend a hand." - 303
"i haven't sold my soul, i'm just billing for time and expenses." - 305
*"you expect him to sacrifice his career for a piece of blond boy ass? is that your idea of true love, sunshine?" - 305
"ben needs more muscles like i need another cock." - 306
*"do i detect a discordant note in love's tender refrain?" - 307
"i guess there's no accounting for some people's taste." - 307
*"the ubiquitous justin taylor. ... what happened to the love that was gonna last for an eternity?" - 308
*"that is so like you! you don't hear what you want, so you leave. try standing up for yourself for a change. have some balls." - 308
*"you also understand that you'll be required to work long, hard hours, sometimes...deep into the night? ... and you are never to play violin music in my presence again." - 308
"that's a difficult question to answer given the limitations of the language, the conventionality of most people's thinking. let's just say he's the guy i fuck more than once." - 309
"yeah, and don't forget - she's a cwazy wesbian!" - 310
*"this sucks." "and not in a positive, life-affirming way." - 311
"aaamazing." - 311
"when did you get to be such a clever devil?" - 311
"wanna finish?" - 311
"your secret's safe with me, señorita." - 311
"i've got to hand it to you, kid, you've got a lot of, spunk." - 313
"well, he already has a boyfriend." "you do?" "in a non-defined, non-conventional way, yeah." - 313
"we're cop-ulating." - 314
"it's a shame, we make such a lovely couple. we're both...tall." - 314
"i think i'm experiencing possession withdrawal. i need to lie down." - 314
"some asshole told me that if you believe in something strongly enough, you have to be willing to sacrifice everything." - 314
"special as in unique, fabulous, one-of-a-kind, or special as in there are schools where they can teach them to dress themselves?" - 401
"it was either cut my expenses or cut my wrists, so i just opted for the tidier of the two." - 401
"i'd rather have my tongue super-glued to a lesbian's twat." - 402
"yeah well, that's the thing about being a superhero. the average person thinks it's all about stopping two planets from colliding or saving the universe from being swallowed by a black hole. but most days, it's just your average run-of-the-mill good deeds." - 403
"i've always dreamed of having an office with a drain in the floor." - 403
"but like jesus, and liza, and judy, he's making a comeback." - 403
*"show me on the doll where the bad man touched you." - 405
*"i'm still g-g-g-gorgeous!" - 414
"would you stop using the word 'seriously'?" - 414
"and as for the times when you're not around, i wouldn't particularly mind it if you were. ... well, then what do you say? should i make room in my drawers for your drawers?" - 414
"i'm a cock-sucker! i'm queer! and to anyone who takes pity or offense, i say, 'judge yourself.' this is where i live. this is who i am." - 501
"how do you like, 'when you're hungry for a big cock!'? yeah, they didn't like it either." - 503
"not before you give me some, mon amour." - 504
"i'm not going to their fucking party." "why not?" "because i'm going to a fucking party." - 506
"you finally grew a heart." "maybe you'll have the same luck growing a penis." - 513
"whether we see each other next weekend or next month...or never again, it doesn’t matter. it's only time." - 513
"you did it. ... became, the best homosexual you could possibly be." - 513
"listen to me. are you listening?" - 102, 218, 304, 403, 501, and others. if anyone knows any specifically, please tell me.
"yo, bitches, tear each other's hair out later." - ?
thank you professor kinney, i've learned so much! :P