The tainted female.
Trigger warning: this post discusses issues of consent and contains descriptions of rape and murder.
Examining the nature of evil in human beings is a fascination of mine. Utterly atheistic, I have never needed a reason to believe in higher powers like God and Satan, supreme forces of good and evil, primarily because I have learned through personal experience that the greatest acts of good and evil need no supernatural explanation. The very best things in this world and the very worst are entirely natural; entirely too human.
As someone who identifies and physically presents as female, and therefore has been treated according to gender-normative stereotypes associated with being female my entire life, I have a natural tendency to identify with crimes and acts of evil against females. And when you study enough of this material, you start to see definite trends emerge. I could put on my radical feminist hat and take you down a misogynistic rabbit hole at this point, but today what is really on my mind is the plight of the tainted female.
You know the tainted female. We all do. She’s the one who was “asking for it.” She’s the one who chose to wear that short skirt, chose to drink that much alcohol, and chose to walk down that dark street to go home. She’s the one who sells her body for money, who whores herself out to survive. To some, she is the one who chose to have sex before she got married. And to others, she is simply the one who had the misfortune to be born into a female body; she is tainted by her very gender. She is the female as seen by rapists, murderers, misogynists. She is the one they say deserved her fate. She is impure, ruined, and therefore incapable of being ruined again.
Leigh Leigh (yes, her first and last name are the same) has one of the saddest stories I have ever heard, an example of what can happen when someone sees the tainted female. Back in 1989, 14-year-old Leigh was invited to a birthday party. As reported in witness statements, Leigh was one of several underage girls who were invited to the party, at which only two people were over the age of 18, for the sole purpose of providing sex (whether it was consensual or non-consensual, or even legal, didn’t seem to be a concern). The 18-year-old who would later be convicted for her murder, Matthew Grant Webster, was reported as having said to a friend at the party, “Hey dude, we’re going to get Leigh pissed and all go through her.” Leigh, who reportedly had little to no experience with alcohol and was a virgin when that night started, was of course not told in any way what her purpose at the party really was in the minds of its organizers. It was her first “real” party with other teenagers, according to her mother, and she was just excited to have been invited.
First, they got Leigh drunk. Having no idea what her tolerance would be, she quickly devolved into an incredibly inebriated state, stumbling and unable to hold herself up. No one claims to have noticed anything truly amiss with Leigh until at one point she was seen stumbling back to the party from the beach, bleeding down her legs and screaming and crying that the boy she was with had “fucked” her and she was sure she must be pregnant. A couple of girls tried to calm her down, but quickly abandoned her again. A group of about ten boys encircled her and began hurling abuse at her, calling her a slut and whore. They kicked Leigh viciously as she cried on the ground, begging them to stop. They poured their beers over her head. They spat on her.
No one other than Webster really claims to know what else happened to her that night. He described his encounter with Leigh to police several months later:
"I went to look for my beers and I saw Leigh, sitting down on the grass. My beers weren’t there. Somebody must’ve pinched them. Then I walked up to Leigh, and she carried on with her normal shit”-(her “normal shit” being her panic about the first assault)-“and I tried to get onto her. Then I walked down to the bushes. I think I had her down, and had my hand across her throat, so she couldn’t make any noise. She started crawling away, and I grabbed her by the feet and pulled her back. I pulled her clothes off, and I pulled my shorts down, and I put my finger in her pussy. Thought I was right for a root. Then she started pushing me away, saying ‘don’t.’ I lost my temper, and I did what I did. She was punching and pushing. I grabbed her by the throat, and she said ‘don’t.’ I choked her for a bit, but I stopped, because I didn’t think it was working. She stopped punching, and I grabbed the rock and killed her.” When asked by police why he had felt the need to kill Leigh, his response was: “I didn’t want to get into trouble, if you can believe that. I thought she would squeal on me for trying to rape her. I was laying on top of her, and she was punching and pushing and saying not to. I picked the rock up and went back and hit her with it.”
The post-mortem revealed that Leigh had been struck in the head at least three times with a blunt object, using considerable force. She sustained asphyxial hemorrhaging and multiple injuries to her knees, jaws, ribs, liver, lower spine and kidney. Fingertip pressure bruises on her neck indicated she had also been choked. Despite Webster’s claim that he had only penetrated Leigh with a finger, she had severe injuries to her genitals, with deep bruising to the left wall of her vagina which extended to her hymen. There were also two tears to her vulva. It all indicated a violent sexual assault, most likely with a rigid but smooth object such as a beer bottle. The pathologist noted that evidence indicated that Leigh had not had any sexual intercourse prior to that night.
I feel the need to re-state the following at this point: Leigh was fourteen years old when this happened to her. Horrifying, isn’t it? Most would agree on that. But what happened in the wake of this crime almost devastates me more than thinking of what this poor girl was forced to endure that night. What happened next would not be seen as horrifying by nearly as many, when it should be.
Leigh was first stripped of her dignity by her rapists and attackers. Then, her community stripped her of it again. After her death, the narrative of the tainted female was almost the only one to be heard. More focus in the media was given to the fact that her parents shouldn’t have let her go to that party, that Leigh shouldn’t have consumed alcohol, and that she should have stayed with friends the whole night than was given to the fact that she had been brutally assaulted, probably multiple times by multiple attackers, and ultimately murdered, for no other reason than saying the word don’t. Graffiti deriding Leigh was painted on bathroom walls in the high school she had attended, where boys from the party were popular. People said Leigh was “just a slut,” and had voluntarily chosen to have sex with multiple boys at the party. Her mother received so much backlash from the community that she was forced to move, twice. A rumor that Leigh’s stepfather had been sexually abusing her for months and killed her was circulated. Leigh wasn’t the victim of a horrific crime or a terrible act of evil - she should have known better.
Leigh was also stripped of her dignity by the judicial system. The results of the police investigation uncovered numerous law violations at the party related to drugs, alcohol, and under-age sex. Multiple witnesses were able to provide the details I’ve shared, which include acts of assault and various other crimes. However, no charges were laid for the vast majority of them. Multiple boys openly admitted to kicking and abusing Leigh after her first assault, but only Webster was charged with that crime. The boy who assaulted Leigh earlier in the night, who was fifteen at the time, was convicted for having sex with someone under the age of consent. At his sentencing, the judge made an official determination that the sexual encounter the boy had had with Leigh that night was consensual, as there was no evidence to the contrary; apparently consent can be given by default as long as there’s no evidence of a rape. The boy was required to do 100 hours of community service for his crime. Though charges of sexual assault were initially laid against Webster, by the time the case went to trial they had been dropped due to a plea agreement. He was ultimately convicted of murder, for which he was sentenced to a mere 14 years in prison. Fourteen years for brutally raping a fourteen-year-old girl, bashing her head in with a rock, and leaving her naked and bleeding to be found the next morning, legs still forced apart. According to the judge, this was because he felt Webster had a high likelihood of rehabilitation and shouldn’t have his life taken away from him over this incident (ironically, the judge made no statement regarding the value of Leigh’s life). Webster served his time, and is out there somewhere in the world today. No one has ever been convicted for any sexual assault of Leigh. Legally, it is as though it never happened.
Leigh was a tainted female before she ever arrived at that party. All the girls were. She was selected for this night of horror for no other reason than she was born female, and was the right age (according to witness statements, the only qualifier for females at the party was that they shouldn’t have any pubic hair). She was tainted further by her willingness to get drunk, because only a party girl would get so drunk; she was asking for it. Then her willingness to walk to the beach with a boy she should have been able to trust became another nail in her coffin; she didn’t have to walk off with him, did she? The stain only spread after he raped her, and she had the temerity to tell people, to ask for help. Her crying and screaming weren’t that of a suffering person, they were just the annoying sounds of a slut who couldn’t hold her liquor. The beer they poured and the saliva they spat cemented her in the eyes of all as a lesser person, one without the same rights, one to kick around without consequence. She was nothing but an object for sexual gratification before she even arrived at that party, and an object can’t say no. An object doesn’t even have to be asked for permission.
The tragedy of Leigh Leigh, for me, expands so far beyond the hell she was put through that night. It is a tragedy of gender-norming, of double standards, of misogyny. It is a tragedy of the development and progression of our society, or the apparent lack thereof. It is a tragedy of us all, but most especially, it is a tragedy of the tainted female that any of us could be.
Examining the nature of evil in human beings is a fascination of mine. Utterly atheistic, I have never needed a reason to believe in higher powers like God and Satan, supreme forces of good and evil, primarily because I have learned through personal experience that the greatest acts of good and evil need no supernatural explanation. The very best things in this world and the very worst are entirely natural; entirely too human.
As someone who identifies and physically presents as female, and therefore has been treated according to gender-normative stereotypes associated with being female my entire life, I have a natural tendency to identify with crimes and acts of evil against females. And when you study enough of this material, you start to see definite trends emerge. I could put on my radical feminist hat and take you down a misogynistic rabbit hole at this point, but today what is really on my mind is the plight of the tainted female.
You know the tainted female. We all do. She’s the one who was “asking for it.” She’s the one who chose to wear that short skirt, chose to drink that much alcohol, and chose to walk down that dark street to go home. She’s the one who sells her body for money, who whores herself out to survive. To some, she is the one who chose to have sex before she got married. And to others, she is simply the one who had the misfortune to be born into a female body; she is tainted by her very gender. She is the female as seen by rapists, murderers, misogynists. She is the one they say deserved her fate. She is impure, ruined, and therefore incapable of being ruined again.
Leigh Leigh (yes, her first and last name are the same) has one of the saddest stories I have ever heard, an example of what can happen when someone sees the tainted female. Back in 1989, 14-year-old Leigh was invited to a birthday party. As reported in witness statements, Leigh was one of several underage girls who were invited to the party, at which only two people were over the age of 18, for the sole purpose of providing sex (whether it was consensual or non-consensual, or even legal, didn’t seem to be a concern). The 18-year-old who would later be convicted for her murder, Matthew Grant Webster, was reported as having said to a friend at the party, “Hey dude, we’re going to get Leigh pissed and all go through her.” Leigh, who reportedly had little to no experience with alcohol and was a virgin when that night started, was of course not told in any way what her purpose at the party really was in the minds of its organizers. It was her first “real” party with other teenagers, according to her mother, and she was just excited to have been invited.
First, they got Leigh drunk. Having no idea what her tolerance would be, she quickly devolved into an incredibly inebriated state, stumbling and unable to hold herself up. No one claims to have noticed anything truly amiss with Leigh until at one point she was seen stumbling back to the party from the beach, bleeding down her legs and screaming and crying that the boy she was with had “fucked” her and she was sure she must be pregnant. A couple of girls tried to calm her down, but quickly abandoned her again. A group of about ten boys encircled her and began hurling abuse at her, calling her a slut and whore. They kicked Leigh viciously as she cried on the ground, begging them to stop. They poured their beers over her head. They spat on her.
No one other than Webster really claims to know what else happened to her that night. He described his encounter with Leigh to police several months later:
"I went to look for my beers and I saw Leigh, sitting down on the grass. My beers weren’t there. Somebody must’ve pinched them. Then I walked up to Leigh, and she carried on with her normal shit”-(her “normal shit” being her panic about the first assault)-“and I tried to get onto her. Then I walked down to the bushes. I think I had her down, and had my hand across her throat, so she couldn’t make any noise. She started crawling away, and I grabbed her by the feet and pulled her back. I pulled her clothes off, and I pulled my shorts down, and I put my finger in her pussy. Thought I was right for a root. Then she started pushing me away, saying ‘don’t.’ I lost my temper, and I did what I did. She was punching and pushing. I grabbed her by the throat, and she said ‘don’t.’ I choked her for a bit, but I stopped, because I didn’t think it was working. She stopped punching, and I grabbed the rock and killed her.” When asked by police why he had felt the need to kill Leigh, his response was: “I didn’t want to get into trouble, if you can believe that. I thought she would squeal on me for trying to rape her. I was laying on top of her, and she was punching and pushing and saying not to. I picked the rock up and went back and hit her with it.”
The post-mortem revealed that Leigh had been struck in the head at least three times with a blunt object, using considerable force. She sustained asphyxial hemorrhaging and multiple injuries to her knees, jaws, ribs, liver, lower spine and kidney. Fingertip pressure bruises on her neck indicated she had also been choked. Despite Webster’s claim that he had only penetrated Leigh with a finger, she had severe injuries to her genitals, with deep bruising to the left wall of her vagina which extended to her hymen. There were also two tears to her vulva. It all indicated a violent sexual assault, most likely with a rigid but smooth object such as a beer bottle. The pathologist noted that evidence indicated that Leigh had not had any sexual intercourse prior to that night.
I feel the need to re-state the following at this point: Leigh was fourteen years old when this happened to her. Horrifying, isn’t it? Most would agree on that. But what happened in the wake of this crime almost devastates me more than thinking of what this poor girl was forced to endure that night. What happened next would not be seen as horrifying by nearly as many, when it should be.
Leigh was first stripped of her dignity by her rapists and attackers. Then, her community stripped her of it again. After her death, the narrative of the tainted female was almost the only one to be heard. More focus in the media was given to the fact that her parents shouldn’t have let her go to that party, that Leigh shouldn’t have consumed alcohol, and that she should have stayed with friends the whole night than was given to the fact that she had been brutally assaulted, probably multiple times by multiple attackers, and ultimately murdered, for no other reason than saying the word don’t. Graffiti deriding Leigh was painted on bathroom walls in the high school she had attended, where boys from the party were popular. People said Leigh was “just a slut,” and had voluntarily chosen to have sex with multiple boys at the party. Her mother received so much backlash from the community that she was forced to move, twice. A rumor that Leigh’s stepfather had been sexually abusing her for months and killed her was circulated. Leigh wasn’t the victim of a horrific crime or a terrible act of evil - she should have known better.
Leigh was also stripped of her dignity by the judicial system. The results of the police investigation uncovered numerous law violations at the party related to drugs, alcohol, and under-age sex. Multiple witnesses were able to provide the details I’ve shared, which include acts of assault and various other crimes. However, no charges were laid for the vast majority of them. Multiple boys openly admitted to kicking and abusing Leigh after her first assault, but only Webster was charged with that crime. The boy who assaulted Leigh earlier in the night, who was fifteen at the time, was convicted for having sex with someone under the age of consent. At his sentencing, the judge made an official determination that the sexual encounter the boy had had with Leigh that night was consensual, as there was no evidence to the contrary; apparently consent can be given by default as long as there’s no evidence of a rape. The boy was required to do 100 hours of community service for his crime. Though charges of sexual assault were initially laid against Webster, by the time the case went to trial they had been dropped due to a plea agreement. He was ultimately convicted of murder, for which he was sentenced to a mere 14 years in prison. Fourteen years for brutally raping a fourteen-year-old girl, bashing her head in with a rock, and leaving her naked and bleeding to be found the next morning, legs still forced apart. According to the judge, this was because he felt Webster had a high likelihood of rehabilitation and shouldn’t have his life taken away from him over this incident (ironically, the judge made no statement regarding the value of Leigh’s life). Webster served his time, and is out there somewhere in the world today. No one has ever been convicted for any sexual assault of Leigh. Legally, it is as though it never happened.
Leigh was a tainted female before she ever arrived at that party. All the girls were. She was selected for this night of horror for no other reason than she was born female, and was the right age (according to witness statements, the only qualifier for females at the party was that they shouldn’t have any pubic hair). She was tainted further by her willingness to get drunk, because only a party girl would get so drunk; she was asking for it. Then her willingness to walk to the beach with a boy she should have been able to trust became another nail in her coffin; she didn’t have to walk off with him, did she? The stain only spread after he raped her, and she had the temerity to tell people, to ask for help. Her crying and screaming weren’t that of a suffering person, they were just the annoying sounds of a slut who couldn’t hold her liquor. The beer they poured and the saliva they spat cemented her in the eyes of all as a lesser person, one without the same rights, one to kick around without consequence. She was nothing but an object for sexual gratification before she even arrived at that party, and an object can’t say no. An object doesn’t even have to be asked for permission.
The tragedy of Leigh Leigh, for me, expands so far beyond the hell she was put through that night. It is a tragedy of gender-norming, of double standards, of misogyny. It is a tragedy of the development and progression of our society, or the apparent lack thereof. It is a tragedy of us all, but most especially, it is a tragedy of the tainted female that any of us could be.