Nothing left to say.
This is a post about silence. About being unable to find the words. About having nothing left to say.
I am fighting depression right now. I know this because I have lost the desire to do pretty much anything, including write. I am forcing myself to write this right now, simply so I can claim I did something today to try and not give in to the feelings I have. I mostly just want to cry and sleep. I didn't go to work today. I don't know if I'll go tomorrow.
Having reached a point where I finally feel like opening my heart to the world, I have only briefly been able to enjoy the benefits of doing so before suffering one of the potential consequences of having an open heart - that someone can more easily come along and rip it from your chest. It seems that most are attracted to my open heart initially, but at some point it overwhelms them like a tidal wave, and all they can think to do is run; it's as if the weight of my affection crushes people rather than benefits them.
They have all run out of things to say about it, and I so have I. I guess I'll go back to bed now, so I don't have to deal with how I feel for a while.
I am fighting depression right now. I know this because I have lost the desire to do pretty much anything, including write. I am forcing myself to write this right now, simply so I can claim I did something today to try and not give in to the feelings I have. I mostly just want to cry and sleep. I didn't go to work today. I don't know if I'll go tomorrow.
Having reached a point where I finally feel like opening my heart to the world, I have only briefly been able to enjoy the benefits of doing so before suffering one of the potential consequences of having an open heart - that someone can more easily come along and rip it from your chest. It seems that most are attracted to my open heart initially, but at some point it overwhelms them like a tidal wave, and all they can think to do is run; it's as if the weight of my affection crushes people rather than benefits them.
They have all run out of things to say about it, and I so have I. I guess I'll go back to bed now, so I don't have to deal with how I feel for a while.