Grace [1/1]
Title: Grace [1/1]
Pairing: Haekyu, KyuHae
Rating: pg-13
Summary: The thing is, is that Donghae knew he was always a little bit in love with Kyuhyun. From the moment they met really.
Notes: Donghae is only about a month older than Kyuhyun in this fic.
<-->
They met when they were 12 years old.
At the park to be more specific. It wasn’t really all that magical but it was their first meeting and Donghae could never forget something so important.
It begins with “Hey! Do you want to come play football with us?” and ends with a blunt “No thanks.”
Probably the most anti-climactic meeting in the world. Donghae likes to think that he hadn’t found Kyuhyun weird for not wanting to hang out with him. Except he did find the dark haired kid a little strange.
He plays for the rest of the day and catches glimpses of the weird boy sitting under the tree, reading a book. Donghae ends up leaving before the other kid does; there’s a tiny pang of regret at not being able to make a new friend but then he’s too wrapped up in telling his Dad about his spectacular win against Siwon.
Donghae doesn’t think he’ll see the weird boy again.
Of course this strange kid ended up being his new neighbor.
It’s all baby steps in the beginning; after all Kyuhyun is difficult and Donghae is stubborn. Or maybe it’s because their second meeting goes worse than their first. It starts with his Mom bringing it up over dinner with a ‘let’s meet our neighbours’ and ‘oh Donghae! They have a kid your age! You can make a new friend’.
Imagine his surprise at seeing the dark haired boy from yesterday. Of course Donghae is confident though, so he gives his best grin and goes to introduce himself whilst his parents are talking grown up stuff with the other parents.
Sadly Kyuhyun back then was just as frank as he is now. “You’re that weirdo that bothered me yesterday and kept staring.”
“HEY! I’m not the weird one you are!”
Kyuhyun gives him a dismissive look. (Something Donghae just doesn’t understand how a 12 year old managed to do.) “Sure. Whatever you weirdo.”
“I’m not called that! My name is Donghae, you…YOU WEIRDO.”
The path to their friendship was a rocky one. It’s not until their first ‘play date’ - something they both did not want- that it really begins.
Donghae is shoved over to Kyuhyun’s house. He had eventually found out Kyuhyun’s name from his own Mom.
It’s a bit silent at first but then Kyuhyun shows him the latest gaming console he has in his room and then it’s simple.
Sure they fling insults at each other but with the game as a buffer it becomes clear to Donghae that there is potential between them. After all, Kyuhyun was also big fan of power rangers and in 12 year old Donghae’s mind that was evidence enough that the other kid had to be alright.
And that’s how they become friends.
--It’s surprisingly easy bringing Kyuhyun into his group of friends.
School is where it all comes together, after all there’s only one main school in their small town.
Donghae knows they’re best friends about a year into their friendship. It’s a stupid incident that brings this revelation to him.
Or more like small incidents that blur together.
Incidents like when they’re ordering ice cream after school and Kyuhyun orders for him without even asking what flavor he wanted. Kyuhyun gets the right flavor. It happens again when Donghae starts remembering stuff about Kyuhyun that he doesn’t remember for any of his other friends.
The catalyst though, is when his teacher asks them to pair up with their best friends and Donghae finds himself turning to Kyuhyun automatically. He’s not sure when it happened; he’s not even sure when he stopped thinking of Kyuhyun as the weird boy from the park.
Kyuhyun is a brilliant best friend. He’s funny, with a razor sharp wit that he uses to defend Donghae. He’s also clever and a lovely singer. So really, Donghae is proud to have such a great best friend.
In some ways he’s glad Kyuhyun isn’t good at sports too, otherwise he wouldn’t need Donghae.
--
They discover girls about another two years later. Or Donghae does at least. After all he is older. He meets a pretty girl called Yoona at a café and flirts with her. He’s always had a good face according to his friends, so really he’s pretty confident he can get her number.
Sure enough he gets it. They become a thing within a week. It’s strange having a girlfriend, but he gets the hang of it. It’s a bit like having a female best friend; except you have to hang out all the time and there’s kissing involved.
(They only kiss once and Donghae never wants another.)
The other guys are in awe at him having a girlfriend and his best friend seems to find her alright. So he’s pretty content. Of course Yoona breaks up with him about a month later. Saying that they’re more like friends than a couple. Donghae is pretty upset so Kyuhyun invites him for a marathon of gaming and then it’s okay.
Its many days later that Kyuhyun brings up Yoona again. It probably shouldn’t have surprised him, after all Kyuhyun never once asked about Yoona when they were actually dating. So this was bound to come up at some point.
“What was it like?”
He’s ready to launch into one of his exaggerated stories about how awesome it was, when he’s hit with the image of Kyuhyun kissing a girl, Kyuhyun ditching him, Kyuhyun just not there.
“It was awful.” It slips out of his mouth before he truly realizes what he’s saying.
And Kyuhyun just accepts it.
He’s not sure why his stomach twists at the thought of Kyuhyun doing the same things. He puts it down as not wanting to share his best friend with anyone else, especially since his own break up was so recent.
Maybe it’s a bit selfish but he makes up for that by giving Kyuhyun a big hug the next time he sees him.
--His Dad dies a month after his 17th birthday.
He cries. And cries. His mom is suffering herself and all he can do is cry. He’s not bothered looking at his phone- he doesn’t want to see the others
.
Except he can’t ignore Kyuhyun, who comes to his house, banging on his door. Donghae just continues sitting in the dark, waiting for him to give up. Sure enough, after an half an hour the banging stops and then it’s just the silence again.
“Donghae. I know you’re in there. I don’t know what you’re going through and I’m not the best person to handle this….but I want to be here for you.”
He doesn’t bother responding. Just feels the now familiar prick in his eyes.
“Look, I know how much you loved your Dad, but you’re worrying everyone…and I don’t think your Dad would’ve wanted that. He would’ve wanted you to be happy and to help your Mom.”
The tears won’t stop. He knows he’s being stupid. Being childish.
“I’ll stay here until you can come out; because I’ll always be here for you.”
It’s then that he thinks he wouldn’t know what to do without Kyuhyun.
Eventually he does leave his room. He’s greeted by a tight hug from Kyuhyun and then things go relatively back to normal. Except he can’t help but lean on Kyuhyun just that bit more. Pushing aside emotions that he knows makes Kyuhyun worry.
He’s cheerful and pretending to be strong. Except then the date for the funeral is set and it suddenly gets hard to pretend.
It’s a stupid thing but of course Kyuhyun would know. He gets cornered after school and he could never lie to save his life. It all comes tumbling out like dominos falling.
“I don’t want to visit his grave. I know it’s childish but…I-“ It’s then that Kyuhyun puts a hand over his mouth.
Kyuhyun gives him an awkward smile before speaking.
“I’ll come with you. As long as you want me here.”
And all Donghae can do is nod, hoping that the ‘thank you’ he can’t say is apparent.
--They go to university in September, a year after his Dad died. Through some luck he’s in the same uni as Kyuhyun. Siwon goes to a different one; Donghae feels guilty that he doesn’t care that Siwon will be much further away. After all, he’s still got his best friend.
They promise to hang out as much as possible.
That doesn’t happen. Sure Siwon comes visits them the first semester but the visits soon fades to occasional phone calls that barely lasts five minutes. It’s much worse with Kyuhyun though.
They’re so close and yet so far apart.
Donghae can tell they’re drifting. It’s a painful thought but he notices how he barely sees Kyuhyun anymore. He’s heard that university can do that to people, he never thought it’d happen to them. It’s weird how when he does hang out with Kyuhyun he misses him. That’s all sorts of crazy logic. I mean how can you miss someone whose right next to you?
Except Donghae does.
It gets worse as lectures start coming with frequency and exams seem to be looming up. There haven’t been any snarky texts lately and it’s almost like Kyuhyun has vanished from the world.
It’s a combination of being placed with roommates who does similar courses and having different courses.
Sure Donghae loves the people he’s met; always wearing his heart on his sleeve and befriending everyone along the way. Eunhyuk is awesome as a roommate, they get on pretty well. It’s just, Eunhyuk isn’t Kyuhyun. He isn’t mean and treats people with the proper respect. He doesn’t understand Donghae the same way Kyuhyun does.
He misses Kyuhyun.
It’s as if Kyuhyun knows because he gets cornered by Kyuhyun.
And it’s just so refreshing to see him. It’s like Kyuhyun is completely different yet the same. He has the same smoldering eyes, the same fluffy hair, but it’s different.
Kyuhyun’s voice is less deep timbre and more like smooth velvet when he speaks. His face is more defined; eyelashes delicate and lips in a hard line.
“We’re drifting.” And he’s still just as straight-forward. Donghae is hit by how much he’s missed him.
“I know.”
It’s blunt conversation, because being with Kyuhyun has always been like that. It’s never been over complicated. Just simplicity at its finest.
“Are you free on Thursday’s?” Donghae nods. He used to have a shift then but it’s been moved.
“Okay we’ll meet every Thursday okay?” And that’s how it happens.
They meet every Thursday. Eunhyuk teases him, calling it his ‘date night’, yet Donghae can’t bring himself to care.
Because it works. They always work out. It’s something he’s come to believe in.
It’s not like they don’t fight, of course they do, but they see each other much more and it’s like having the limb he thought was missing come
back. Soon it’s more than Thursday’s, it’s moments he’s free. Weekend’s. Breaks in between lectures.
And soon enough Kyuhyun is in his group again and somehow he’s also in Kyuhyun’s group.
Their friends all mingle. It works. He meets the cheerful Zhou Mi; the kind Ryeowook and his roommate Yesung. He befriends Kyuhyun’s roommate, Sungmin and his girlfriend Sunny.
In return Kyuhyun makes an effort to get along with Eunhyuk, he encounters Heechul; they get on a bit too well sometimes, meets Seohyun and Amber.
It all clicks.
Soon enough they graduate. Kyuhyun working as a bar singer until he makes it big, because Donghae knows he will. Donghae works at the same grocery store as Eunhyuk. The others all doing their own thing until everyone can reach their dreams.
He ends up sharing a flat with Kyuhyun and it’s a wonderful thing. If maybe Donghae is more excited than normal then no one has to know.
--
Donghae feels like his perspective on Kyuhyun changed after Ryewook’s birthday party.
It’s a small event and only those that they’re close with are invited. It takes place at the flat Ryewook and Yesung shares, it really doesn’t surprise anyone that they ended up roommates again. The flat is small and decorated with balloons in shades of pink. He gets an inkling it’s one of the girls that did the decorating.
Kyuhyun just smirks at the decoration pointedly when he greets the birthday boy.
Donghae feels lighter as the night goes on. Just happy to have the person he missed so much back in his life again. He savours the only bottle of beer he lets himself have. He wants to enjoy the party rather than be stupidly drunk like he used to get when he was 19 and had
nothing to worry about.
Except he’s 24 now and he just feels old.
Shaking these thoughts away he focuses back on the party. Kyuhyun is doing an alarming amount of shots with Heechul. Donghae can’t help but wonder if Kyuhyun will finally be the drunk one this time.
He gives an amused smile at the thought of a drunk Kyuhyun. His lovely voice slurring slightly, walking with clumsy steps. It’s a bit of an adorable image really. Shit. He takes a deep gulp of his drink. You don’t think of your friends as adorable.
Thankfully before he can dwell any longer Sunny’s voice rings around the flat.
“O-okay! Listen up. Let’s play truth and dare!” It’s such a childish thing. Donghae just rolls his eyes and joins Ryeowook on the sofa. Soon though the others coerce Ryeowook to play and it’s just Donghae sitting there, watching his friends be idiots.
“Hae…move your legs.” Kyuhyun nudges at him to open his legs up and then he plops himself between them leaning back to give Donghae an upside down grin. He’s so obviously drunk and Donghae wonders just how much Kyuhyun’s had to drink.
“I don’t think you should drink anymore…” He grabs the beer that Kyuhyun is holding despite the half-hearted protests. “Fine.” He finds the pout Kyuhyun is giving him kinda adorable and pokes him in the forehead.
“They’re beginning without you.” That causes Kyuhyun to sit up clumsily. Donghae grins. He should really record this as blackmail later.
He watches as Yesung starts and soon stupid dares are being issued and truths being forced out. Donghae takes no part, despite everyone’s attempts. He’s far too sober for this, but he had to get back home with Kyuhyun later.
So he’s amused when Kyuhyun gets picked on by Amber and he picks truth.
“Kyuhyun~ who would you want to date the most here?”
There’s a sly grin on her as she looks to Seohyun. It makes Donghae feel uneasy as he clutches his drink tighter. He turns his gaze down to the mop of dark brown hair.
“Donghae. I’d always pick him.” And wow. It’s said with conviction. He can feel his face heating up as he stares at Kyuhyun. He knows that his best friend is drunk but it still causes his stomach to feel fluttery. What the hell.
There are some drunken agreements, although Siwon looks a little put out at Kyuhyun’s words.
The game continues for a bit longer and soon everyone is calling it a night.
They make it safely back to their flat, with Kyuhyun clinging to his arm as he leads him to his bed. It’s when he’s putting the guy into bed that Kyuhyun speaks up.
“I really meant it. When Amber asked me that question.” It’s a bit slurred but Donghae can understand. He laughs it off and nods but inside his heart is pounding far too fast to be normal. He exits Kyuhyun’s room.
He blames his red cheeks on the alcohol.
--
He finally gets it when he gets a call one day at work telling him Kyuhyun is at the hospital.
He drops everything at work and probably would’ve gotten into an accident himself if it weren’t for Eunhyuk driving him there.
They get directed to Kyuhyun’s room. The doctors words a blur. Something about Kyuhyun being hit as he was crossing the street. A hit-and-run. Fractured ribs and punctured lungs. Lucky to even be alive.
He remembers Kyuhyun’s sister crying. Eunhyuk trying to get him to leave. Kyuhyun’s father praying. He’s not sure what he does, except sitting near him. Because he knows Kyuhyun will pull through. He’s the strongest person he knows.
Because Kyuhyun can’t just leave him like this. He doesn’t know how to function without Kyuhyun. His thoughts go around in this endless circle of worry and fear as he waits for Kyuhyun to wake up.
Eventually a nurse forces him to get some food. Donghae gets a hot chocolate.
It’s when he’s walking back up the stairs that it really hits him. I love him. He almost drops his coffee. It’s so obvious now that he can only stand at the steps like an idiot.
The revelation doesn’t suddenly change his world. Kyuhyun doesn’t miraculously wake up. And with each day Donghae finds it harder and harder to breathe.
It’s about 72 days later that things begin looking up. Donghae is barely functioning as a human at this point. Barley eating or sleeping. It’s him that notices Kyuhyun’s fingers move.
It’s when Kyuhyun says his name that he lets himself breath.
--
Donghae doesn’t feel like he’s constricted anymore. He can breathe again with the ease that Kyuhyun is fine. Their lives move on. He might be that tiniest bit more protective about Kyuhyun but neither of them seems to mind.
There’s the burden that he’s a bit in love with Kyuhyun though. Things really don’t go smoothly. There’s no confessions. No signs. Nothing, because Donghae is a coward.
Eventually Kyuhyun gets a girlfriend. Somehow he should’ve seen it coming. It’s just. Kyuhyun hasn’t dated since the disaster that was Victoria back at Uni; when their friendship was disintegrating.
To make it worse he’s dating Seohyun.
It was just easier to pretend that there was nothing wrong. Easier to hide behind his cheerful façade then let Kyuhyun know how envious he was.
It’s a trial really. Seeing them together and feeling sick at the sight. He stops paying attention two weeks into their relationship. Starts going out more with the other single guys. But he keeps comparing every person that flirts with him to Kyuhyun
And none of them can compare.
Then one day, out of nowhere, “I think I’m going to move in with her.”
It feels like his heart is breaking.
--
He gets drunk on his own about a week after that revelation from Kyuhyun. Books on music and stupid computer cables start disappearing around their flat. Brown boxes piling around the house.
It’s not a pretty sight and he feels like he just died a little bit on the inside.
It’s then he leaves a voicemail. It’s a drunken mess of words but he knows he said ‘I love you so much.’ And ‘If I propose to you will you stay with me?’ Many, many times. There’s no doubt that Kyuhyun will know.
And fuck. His head hurts and his heart hurts even more. He spends the rest of the day holed up in his apartment. Waiting for a call, a text, anything that will tell him how Kyuhyun feels about this.
Except nothing comes. There’s no emotional confrontation, no complete rejection. Just silence.
It’s so much worse.
He gets a call from Leeteuk a week later.
“Donghae, can you possibly ask why Kyuhyun hasn’t turned up for the past week?”
Immediately he tries Kyuhyun’s phone. It goes to answer phone. He tries phoning the others and it’s not until he rings Sungmin that he finds out where Kyuhyun is.
He rushes over to Sungmin’s apartment, he gets there just as Sungmin is leaving. He gives Donghae a frown before speaking.
“Look. I don’t know what’s happened, but sort him out.”
Sungmin doesn’t wait for his response, just hands him a key and leaves. He opens the door with trembling hands.
“I’ll leave soon Sungmin. I just…I need some time-oh.” And there’s Kyuhyun, looking a bit messy and still the most gorgeous person in Donghae’s eyes.
“We need to talk.” He holds up a hand when it looks like Kyuhyun is going to say something. Donghae moves a little bit closer, closing the door as he does.
“I know it was unfair of me to just leave that voicemail for you. I shouldn’t have left it. I’m sorry if I’ve caused problems for you and Seohyun….it’s just-“
Kyuhyun suddenly interrupts.
“We broke up.” He feels awful for feeling so happy at that.
“What? Look, if it’s because of the voicemail then-“
“We broke up a week before I told you I was moving out.”
How did he not know this? It made no sense to him. Kyuhyun had been going out on dates with Seohyun and was always so busy with his girlfriend.
It’s then that Kyuhyun suddenly gives a shaky sigh. “She said it was obvious I wasn’t really interested in her.”
“Then why did you say you were moving out if it wasn’t with Seohyun?”
He tries to crush the small hope that began to flair at the pause. He feels like time has stopped as Kyuhyun stands there, avoiding his eyes, fists clenched tightly.
“Donghae, you idiot. The reason I was going to move out was because I couldn’t stand the thought that one day-“ Kyuhyun’s voice freezes up.
Donghae feels lost as he stares at the person he loves more than anything.
“…the thought that one day you’d find someone to be with and you’d be the one to leave first.”
There’s a catch to Kyuhyun’s voice. It sounds so fragile; it brings back memories of that time he was in that accident and his heart just aches at that thought.
Kyuhyun continues. “Ever since that accident- Eunhyuk told me how you stayed with me. I- I just knew that I never wanted to be apart from you. Then Seohyun confessed to me after that. And I thought it can’t be healthy to want to be with your best friend, to think about them, all the time.”
There’s a shuddering breath. “So I thought Ii should try and get over you. Move on. The others kept telling me how you were going clubbing more and flirting with everyone. It made me so fucking jealous. More than that it just hurt because I wanted you so much and you seemed to be fine without me.”
Donghae can’t bear it anymore, all these emotions. The fear that it’s a dream, so he moves forward and then he’s kissing that lush mouth.
It’s harsh and the complete opposite of what he always dreamed their first kiss would be. He licks into the mouth he knows so well, it’s hot and messy but Donghae never wants it to end. They’re clutching each other tightly. One hand around Kyuhyun’s waist, the other pulling his face closer.
He’s standing on his tiptoes to reach the soft lips and he feels Kyuhyun bend slightly to accommodate him. Mind briefly wondering when Kyuhyun grew so tall.
It’s not perfect but it's the best kiss he’s ever had. Pulling away every so often for breath, but it’s not enough. So he leans back in, again and again.
What feels like a while later he pulls away for good; although the way Kyuhyun looks, with his pouty lips all read and swollen, those dark eyes glazed with lust, is enough to almost make him go back in for another kiss.
He hugs Kyuhyun so, so, tightly. His head fitting into place in the curve of Kyuhyun’s neck.
“Kyuhyun.” His voice trembles and he never wants to let go. Never wants to let go of this man that means so much to him. Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun, with his snarky nature and beautiful smile.
“I love you. I love you so much.” And he keeps mumbling it over and over again into Kyuhyun’s neck.
After a moment he feels Kyuhyun hug him back.
“I love you too, you stupid weirdo.”
--It’s a little disappointing how no one really seems to notice how their relationship is different. To be fair, Kyuhyun still makes fun of him and won’t share his chocolate like a good boyfriend should but their friends could’ve been a little bit more surprised when he decided to lick the chocolate still in the corner of Kyuhyun’s mouth, much to Kyuhyun’s chagrin,
Of course his pouting does eventually win him a party.
The party happens on the 17th May, about a month into their relationship.
Everyone is having fun and the theme had been rainbows because according to Eunhyuk, ‘You guys are gayer than all the colours, so we had to have all of them for this to work.’
Eunhyuk was very, very drunk.
People keep congratulating them throughout the night and buying them drinks. All in all totally worth the week of looking annoyed at the lack of reaction from his friends.
As the night goes on Donghae finds himself snuggling into Kyuhyun like a cat, it’s late and they’re thinking about leaving when Leeteuk comes over to congratulate them.
Donghae hears Leeteuk ask Kyuhyun when they figured out they were in love.
He feels his boyfriend, boyfriend, give him a look to see if he wanted to answer. Donghae just smiles and hugs Kyuhyun that tiniest bit closer, because he’s just so grateful to have all of this. Maybe it’s not perfect, they still worry about bills and they fight like every couple does, but…
He feels more than hears Kyuhyun reply to Leeteuk.
“I think we’ve always known we loved each other. It just took us a while to get on the same page.”
…in this moment though, it’s just perfect.
--fin.
A/N: FINALLY. This story is over. I kept writing different parts but then I had no idea how to link them O-O;; Sorry if it’s a bit disjointed but I worked hard on this! J
I hope people enjoyed this! Please drop me a comment with your thoughts~
Pairing: Haekyu, KyuHae
Rating: pg-13
Summary: The thing is, is that Donghae knew he was always a little bit in love with Kyuhyun. From the moment they met really.
Notes: Donghae is only about a month older than Kyuhyun in this fic.
<-->
They met when they were 12 years old.
At the park to be more specific. It wasn’t really all that magical but it was their first meeting and Donghae could never forget something so important.
It begins with “Hey! Do you want to come play football with us?” and ends with a blunt “No thanks.”
Probably the most anti-climactic meeting in the world. Donghae likes to think that he hadn’t found Kyuhyun weird for not wanting to hang out with him. Except he did find the dark haired kid a little strange.
He plays for the rest of the day and catches glimpses of the weird boy sitting under the tree, reading a book. Donghae ends up leaving before the other kid does; there’s a tiny pang of regret at not being able to make a new friend but then he’s too wrapped up in telling his Dad about his spectacular win against Siwon.
Donghae doesn’t think he’ll see the weird boy again.
Of course this strange kid ended up being his new neighbor.
It’s all baby steps in the beginning; after all Kyuhyun is difficult and Donghae is stubborn. Or maybe it’s because their second meeting goes worse than their first. It starts with his Mom bringing it up over dinner with a ‘let’s meet our neighbours’ and ‘oh Donghae! They have a kid your age! You can make a new friend’.
Imagine his surprise at seeing the dark haired boy from yesterday. Of course Donghae is confident though, so he gives his best grin and goes to introduce himself whilst his parents are talking grown up stuff with the other parents.
Sadly Kyuhyun back then was just as frank as he is now. “You’re that weirdo that bothered me yesterday and kept staring.”
“HEY! I’m not the weird one you are!”
Kyuhyun gives him a dismissive look. (Something Donghae just doesn’t understand how a 12 year old managed to do.) “Sure. Whatever you weirdo.”
“I’m not called that! My name is Donghae, you…YOU WEIRDO.”
The path to their friendship was a rocky one. It’s not until their first ‘play date’ - something they both did not want- that it really begins.
Donghae is shoved over to Kyuhyun’s house. He had eventually found out Kyuhyun’s name from his own Mom.
It’s a bit silent at first but then Kyuhyun shows him the latest gaming console he has in his room and then it’s simple.
Sure they fling insults at each other but with the game as a buffer it becomes clear to Donghae that there is potential between them. After all, Kyuhyun was also big fan of power rangers and in 12 year old Donghae’s mind that was evidence enough that the other kid had to be alright.
And that’s how they become friends.
--It’s surprisingly easy bringing Kyuhyun into his group of friends.
School is where it all comes together, after all there’s only one main school in their small town.
Donghae knows they’re best friends about a year into their friendship. It’s a stupid incident that brings this revelation to him.
Or more like small incidents that blur together.
Incidents like when they’re ordering ice cream after school and Kyuhyun orders for him without even asking what flavor he wanted. Kyuhyun gets the right flavor. It happens again when Donghae starts remembering stuff about Kyuhyun that he doesn’t remember for any of his other friends.
The catalyst though, is when his teacher asks them to pair up with their best friends and Donghae finds himself turning to Kyuhyun automatically. He’s not sure when it happened; he’s not even sure when he stopped thinking of Kyuhyun as the weird boy from the park.
Kyuhyun is a brilliant best friend. He’s funny, with a razor sharp wit that he uses to defend Donghae. He’s also clever and a lovely singer. So really, Donghae is proud to have such a great best friend.
In some ways he’s glad Kyuhyun isn’t good at sports too, otherwise he wouldn’t need Donghae.
--
They discover girls about another two years later. Or Donghae does at least. After all he is older. He meets a pretty girl called Yoona at a café and flirts with her. He’s always had a good face according to his friends, so really he’s pretty confident he can get her number.
Sure enough he gets it. They become a thing within a week. It’s strange having a girlfriend, but he gets the hang of it. It’s a bit like having a female best friend; except you have to hang out all the time and there’s kissing involved.
(They only kiss once and Donghae never wants another.)
The other guys are in awe at him having a girlfriend and his best friend seems to find her alright. So he’s pretty content. Of course Yoona breaks up with him about a month later. Saying that they’re more like friends than a couple. Donghae is pretty upset so Kyuhyun invites him for a marathon of gaming and then it’s okay.
Its many days later that Kyuhyun brings up Yoona again. It probably shouldn’t have surprised him, after all Kyuhyun never once asked about Yoona when they were actually dating. So this was bound to come up at some point.
“What was it like?”
He’s ready to launch into one of his exaggerated stories about how awesome it was, when he’s hit with the image of Kyuhyun kissing a girl, Kyuhyun ditching him, Kyuhyun just not there.
“It was awful.” It slips out of his mouth before he truly realizes what he’s saying.
And Kyuhyun just accepts it.
He’s not sure why his stomach twists at the thought of Kyuhyun doing the same things. He puts it down as not wanting to share his best friend with anyone else, especially since his own break up was so recent.
Maybe it’s a bit selfish but he makes up for that by giving Kyuhyun a big hug the next time he sees him.
--His Dad dies a month after his 17th birthday.
He cries. And cries. His mom is suffering herself and all he can do is cry. He’s not bothered looking at his phone- he doesn’t want to see the others
.
Except he can’t ignore Kyuhyun, who comes to his house, banging on his door. Donghae just continues sitting in the dark, waiting for him to give up. Sure enough, after an half an hour the banging stops and then it’s just the silence again.
“Donghae. I know you’re in there. I don’t know what you’re going through and I’m not the best person to handle this….but I want to be here for you.”
He doesn’t bother responding. Just feels the now familiar prick in his eyes.
“Look, I know how much you loved your Dad, but you’re worrying everyone…and I don’t think your Dad would’ve wanted that. He would’ve wanted you to be happy and to help your Mom.”
The tears won’t stop. He knows he’s being stupid. Being childish.
“I’ll stay here until you can come out; because I’ll always be here for you.”
It’s then that he thinks he wouldn’t know what to do without Kyuhyun.
Eventually he does leave his room. He’s greeted by a tight hug from Kyuhyun and then things go relatively back to normal. Except he can’t help but lean on Kyuhyun just that bit more. Pushing aside emotions that he knows makes Kyuhyun worry.
He’s cheerful and pretending to be strong. Except then the date for the funeral is set and it suddenly gets hard to pretend.
It’s a stupid thing but of course Kyuhyun would know. He gets cornered after school and he could never lie to save his life. It all comes tumbling out like dominos falling.
“I don’t want to visit his grave. I know it’s childish but…I-“ It’s then that Kyuhyun puts a hand over his mouth.
Kyuhyun gives him an awkward smile before speaking.
“I’ll come with you. As long as you want me here.”
And all Donghae can do is nod, hoping that the ‘thank you’ he can’t say is apparent.
--They go to university in September, a year after his Dad died. Through some luck he’s in the same uni as Kyuhyun. Siwon goes to a different one; Donghae feels guilty that he doesn’t care that Siwon will be much further away. After all, he’s still got his best friend.
They promise to hang out as much as possible.
That doesn’t happen. Sure Siwon comes visits them the first semester but the visits soon fades to occasional phone calls that barely lasts five minutes. It’s much worse with Kyuhyun though.
They’re so close and yet so far apart.
Donghae can tell they’re drifting. It’s a painful thought but he notices how he barely sees Kyuhyun anymore. He’s heard that university can do that to people, he never thought it’d happen to them. It’s weird how when he does hang out with Kyuhyun he misses him. That’s all sorts of crazy logic. I mean how can you miss someone whose right next to you?
Except Donghae does.
It gets worse as lectures start coming with frequency and exams seem to be looming up. There haven’t been any snarky texts lately and it’s almost like Kyuhyun has vanished from the world.
It’s a combination of being placed with roommates who does similar courses and having different courses.
Sure Donghae loves the people he’s met; always wearing his heart on his sleeve and befriending everyone along the way. Eunhyuk is awesome as a roommate, they get on pretty well. It’s just, Eunhyuk isn’t Kyuhyun. He isn’t mean and treats people with the proper respect. He doesn’t understand Donghae the same way Kyuhyun does.
He misses Kyuhyun.
It’s as if Kyuhyun knows because he gets cornered by Kyuhyun.
And it’s just so refreshing to see him. It’s like Kyuhyun is completely different yet the same. He has the same smoldering eyes, the same fluffy hair, but it’s different.
Kyuhyun’s voice is less deep timbre and more like smooth velvet when he speaks. His face is more defined; eyelashes delicate and lips in a hard line.
“We’re drifting.” And he’s still just as straight-forward. Donghae is hit by how much he’s missed him.
“I know.”
It’s blunt conversation, because being with Kyuhyun has always been like that. It’s never been over complicated. Just simplicity at its finest.
“Are you free on Thursday’s?” Donghae nods. He used to have a shift then but it’s been moved.
“Okay we’ll meet every Thursday okay?” And that’s how it happens.
They meet every Thursday. Eunhyuk teases him, calling it his ‘date night’, yet Donghae can’t bring himself to care.
Because it works. They always work out. It’s something he’s come to believe in.
It’s not like they don’t fight, of course they do, but they see each other much more and it’s like having the limb he thought was missing come
back. Soon it’s more than Thursday’s, it’s moments he’s free. Weekend’s. Breaks in between lectures.
And soon enough Kyuhyun is in his group again and somehow he’s also in Kyuhyun’s group.
Their friends all mingle. It works. He meets the cheerful Zhou Mi; the kind Ryeowook and his roommate Yesung. He befriends Kyuhyun’s roommate, Sungmin and his girlfriend Sunny.
In return Kyuhyun makes an effort to get along with Eunhyuk, he encounters Heechul; they get on a bit too well sometimes, meets Seohyun and Amber.
It all clicks.
Soon enough they graduate. Kyuhyun working as a bar singer until he makes it big, because Donghae knows he will. Donghae works at the same grocery store as Eunhyuk. The others all doing their own thing until everyone can reach their dreams.
He ends up sharing a flat with Kyuhyun and it’s a wonderful thing. If maybe Donghae is more excited than normal then no one has to know.
--
Donghae feels like his perspective on Kyuhyun changed after Ryewook’s birthday party.
It’s a small event and only those that they’re close with are invited. It takes place at the flat Ryewook and Yesung shares, it really doesn’t surprise anyone that they ended up roommates again. The flat is small and decorated with balloons in shades of pink. He gets an inkling it’s one of the girls that did the decorating.
Kyuhyun just smirks at the decoration pointedly when he greets the birthday boy.
Donghae feels lighter as the night goes on. Just happy to have the person he missed so much back in his life again. He savours the only bottle of beer he lets himself have. He wants to enjoy the party rather than be stupidly drunk like he used to get when he was 19 and had
nothing to worry about.
Except he’s 24 now and he just feels old.
Shaking these thoughts away he focuses back on the party. Kyuhyun is doing an alarming amount of shots with Heechul. Donghae can’t help but wonder if Kyuhyun will finally be the drunk one this time.
He gives an amused smile at the thought of a drunk Kyuhyun. His lovely voice slurring slightly, walking with clumsy steps. It’s a bit of an adorable image really. Shit. He takes a deep gulp of his drink. You don’t think of your friends as adorable.
Thankfully before he can dwell any longer Sunny’s voice rings around the flat.
“O-okay! Listen up. Let’s play truth and dare!” It’s such a childish thing. Donghae just rolls his eyes and joins Ryeowook on the sofa. Soon though the others coerce Ryeowook to play and it’s just Donghae sitting there, watching his friends be idiots.
“Hae…move your legs.” Kyuhyun nudges at him to open his legs up and then he plops himself between them leaning back to give Donghae an upside down grin. He’s so obviously drunk and Donghae wonders just how much Kyuhyun’s had to drink.
“I don’t think you should drink anymore…” He grabs the beer that Kyuhyun is holding despite the half-hearted protests. “Fine.” He finds the pout Kyuhyun is giving him kinda adorable and pokes him in the forehead.
“They’re beginning without you.” That causes Kyuhyun to sit up clumsily. Donghae grins. He should really record this as blackmail later.
He watches as Yesung starts and soon stupid dares are being issued and truths being forced out. Donghae takes no part, despite everyone’s attempts. He’s far too sober for this, but he had to get back home with Kyuhyun later.
So he’s amused when Kyuhyun gets picked on by Amber and he picks truth.
“Kyuhyun~ who would you want to date the most here?”
There’s a sly grin on her as she looks to Seohyun. It makes Donghae feel uneasy as he clutches his drink tighter. He turns his gaze down to the mop of dark brown hair.
“Donghae. I’d always pick him.” And wow. It’s said with conviction. He can feel his face heating up as he stares at Kyuhyun. He knows that his best friend is drunk but it still causes his stomach to feel fluttery. What the hell.
There are some drunken agreements, although Siwon looks a little put out at Kyuhyun’s words.
The game continues for a bit longer and soon everyone is calling it a night.
They make it safely back to their flat, with Kyuhyun clinging to his arm as he leads him to his bed. It’s when he’s putting the guy into bed that Kyuhyun speaks up.
“I really meant it. When Amber asked me that question.” It’s a bit slurred but Donghae can understand. He laughs it off and nods but inside his heart is pounding far too fast to be normal. He exits Kyuhyun’s room.
He blames his red cheeks on the alcohol.
--
He finally gets it when he gets a call one day at work telling him Kyuhyun is at the hospital.
He drops everything at work and probably would’ve gotten into an accident himself if it weren’t for Eunhyuk driving him there.
They get directed to Kyuhyun’s room. The doctors words a blur. Something about Kyuhyun being hit as he was crossing the street. A hit-and-run. Fractured ribs and punctured lungs. Lucky to even be alive.
He remembers Kyuhyun’s sister crying. Eunhyuk trying to get him to leave. Kyuhyun’s father praying. He’s not sure what he does, except sitting near him. Because he knows Kyuhyun will pull through. He’s the strongest person he knows.
Because Kyuhyun can’t just leave him like this. He doesn’t know how to function without Kyuhyun. His thoughts go around in this endless circle of worry and fear as he waits for Kyuhyun to wake up.
Eventually a nurse forces him to get some food. Donghae gets a hot chocolate.
It’s when he’s walking back up the stairs that it really hits him. I love him. He almost drops his coffee. It’s so obvious now that he can only stand at the steps like an idiot.
The revelation doesn’t suddenly change his world. Kyuhyun doesn’t miraculously wake up. And with each day Donghae finds it harder and harder to breathe.
It’s about 72 days later that things begin looking up. Donghae is barely functioning as a human at this point. Barley eating or sleeping. It’s him that notices Kyuhyun’s fingers move.
It’s when Kyuhyun says his name that he lets himself breath.
--
Donghae doesn’t feel like he’s constricted anymore. He can breathe again with the ease that Kyuhyun is fine. Their lives move on. He might be that tiniest bit more protective about Kyuhyun but neither of them seems to mind.
There’s the burden that he’s a bit in love with Kyuhyun though. Things really don’t go smoothly. There’s no confessions. No signs. Nothing, because Donghae is a coward.
Eventually Kyuhyun gets a girlfriend. Somehow he should’ve seen it coming. It’s just. Kyuhyun hasn’t dated since the disaster that was Victoria back at Uni; when their friendship was disintegrating.
To make it worse he’s dating Seohyun.
It was just easier to pretend that there was nothing wrong. Easier to hide behind his cheerful façade then let Kyuhyun know how envious he was.
It’s a trial really. Seeing them together and feeling sick at the sight. He stops paying attention two weeks into their relationship. Starts going out more with the other single guys. But he keeps comparing every person that flirts with him to Kyuhyun
And none of them can compare.
Then one day, out of nowhere, “I think I’m going to move in with her.”
It feels like his heart is breaking.
--
He gets drunk on his own about a week after that revelation from Kyuhyun. Books on music and stupid computer cables start disappearing around their flat. Brown boxes piling around the house.
It’s not a pretty sight and he feels like he just died a little bit on the inside.
It’s then he leaves a voicemail. It’s a drunken mess of words but he knows he said ‘I love you so much.’ And ‘If I propose to you will you stay with me?’ Many, many times. There’s no doubt that Kyuhyun will know.
And fuck. His head hurts and his heart hurts even more. He spends the rest of the day holed up in his apartment. Waiting for a call, a text, anything that will tell him how Kyuhyun feels about this.
Except nothing comes. There’s no emotional confrontation, no complete rejection. Just silence.
It’s so much worse.
He gets a call from Leeteuk a week later.
“Donghae, can you possibly ask why Kyuhyun hasn’t turned up for the past week?”
Immediately he tries Kyuhyun’s phone. It goes to answer phone. He tries phoning the others and it’s not until he rings Sungmin that he finds out where Kyuhyun is.
He rushes over to Sungmin’s apartment, he gets there just as Sungmin is leaving. He gives Donghae a frown before speaking.
“Look. I don’t know what’s happened, but sort him out.”
Sungmin doesn’t wait for his response, just hands him a key and leaves. He opens the door with trembling hands.
“I’ll leave soon Sungmin. I just…I need some time-oh.” And there’s Kyuhyun, looking a bit messy and still the most gorgeous person in Donghae’s eyes.
“We need to talk.” He holds up a hand when it looks like Kyuhyun is going to say something. Donghae moves a little bit closer, closing the door as he does.
“I know it was unfair of me to just leave that voicemail for you. I shouldn’t have left it. I’m sorry if I’ve caused problems for you and Seohyun….it’s just-“
Kyuhyun suddenly interrupts.
“We broke up.” He feels awful for feeling so happy at that.
“What? Look, if it’s because of the voicemail then-“
“We broke up a week before I told you I was moving out.”
How did he not know this? It made no sense to him. Kyuhyun had been going out on dates with Seohyun and was always so busy with his girlfriend.
It’s then that Kyuhyun suddenly gives a shaky sigh. “She said it was obvious I wasn’t really interested in her.”
“Then why did you say you were moving out if it wasn’t with Seohyun?”
He tries to crush the small hope that began to flair at the pause. He feels like time has stopped as Kyuhyun stands there, avoiding his eyes, fists clenched tightly.
“Donghae, you idiot. The reason I was going to move out was because I couldn’t stand the thought that one day-“ Kyuhyun’s voice freezes up.
Donghae feels lost as he stares at the person he loves more than anything.
“…the thought that one day you’d find someone to be with and you’d be the one to leave first.”
There’s a catch to Kyuhyun’s voice. It sounds so fragile; it brings back memories of that time he was in that accident and his heart just aches at that thought.
Kyuhyun continues. “Ever since that accident- Eunhyuk told me how you stayed with me. I- I just knew that I never wanted to be apart from you. Then Seohyun confessed to me after that. And I thought it can’t be healthy to want to be with your best friend, to think about them, all the time.”
There’s a shuddering breath. “So I thought Ii should try and get over you. Move on. The others kept telling me how you were going clubbing more and flirting with everyone. It made me so fucking jealous. More than that it just hurt because I wanted you so much and you seemed to be fine without me.”
Donghae can’t bear it anymore, all these emotions. The fear that it’s a dream, so he moves forward and then he’s kissing that lush mouth.
It’s harsh and the complete opposite of what he always dreamed their first kiss would be. He licks into the mouth he knows so well, it’s hot and messy but Donghae never wants it to end. They’re clutching each other tightly. One hand around Kyuhyun’s waist, the other pulling his face closer.
He’s standing on his tiptoes to reach the soft lips and he feels Kyuhyun bend slightly to accommodate him. Mind briefly wondering when Kyuhyun grew so tall.
It’s not perfect but it's the best kiss he’s ever had. Pulling away every so often for breath, but it’s not enough. So he leans back in, again and again.
What feels like a while later he pulls away for good; although the way Kyuhyun looks, with his pouty lips all read and swollen, those dark eyes glazed with lust, is enough to almost make him go back in for another kiss.
He hugs Kyuhyun so, so, tightly. His head fitting into place in the curve of Kyuhyun’s neck.
“Kyuhyun.” His voice trembles and he never wants to let go. Never wants to let go of this man that means so much to him. Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun, with his snarky nature and beautiful smile.
“I love you. I love you so much.” And he keeps mumbling it over and over again into Kyuhyun’s neck.
After a moment he feels Kyuhyun hug him back.
“I love you too, you stupid weirdo.”
--It’s a little disappointing how no one really seems to notice how their relationship is different. To be fair, Kyuhyun still makes fun of him and won’t share his chocolate like a good boyfriend should but their friends could’ve been a little bit more surprised when he decided to lick the chocolate still in the corner of Kyuhyun’s mouth, much to Kyuhyun’s chagrin,
Of course his pouting does eventually win him a party.
The party happens on the 17th May, about a month into their relationship.
Everyone is having fun and the theme had been rainbows because according to Eunhyuk, ‘You guys are gayer than all the colours, so we had to have all of them for this to work.’
Eunhyuk was very, very drunk.
People keep congratulating them throughout the night and buying them drinks. All in all totally worth the week of looking annoyed at the lack of reaction from his friends.
As the night goes on Donghae finds himself snuggling into Kyuhyun like a cat, it’s late and they’re thinking about leaving when Leeteuk comes over to congratulate them.
Donghae hears Leeteuk ask Kyuhyun when they figured out they were in love.
He feels his boyfriend, boyfriend, give him a look to see if he wanted to answer. Donghae just smiles and hugs Kyuhyun that tiniest bit closer, because he’s just so grateful to have all of this. Maybe it’s not perfect, they still worry about bills and they fight like every couple does, but…
He feels more than hears Kyuhyun reply to Leeteuk.
“I think we’ve always known we loved each other. It just took us a while to get on the same page.”
…in this moment though, it’s just perfect.
--fin.
A/N: FINALLY. This story is over. I kept writing different parts but then I had no idea how to link them O-O;; Sorry if it’s a bit disjointed but I worked hard on this! J
I hope people enjoyed this! Please drop me a comment with your thoughts~