apology

[errantepoch]

why do we feel such fear for our emotions
they are like glass and plaster
like hummels my great-grandmother kept
so easily shattered

and fear will make you do such absurd things

I tried to make myself believe that love was my pro-generator
and for a time here and there perhaps it was
but fear and loneliness THOSE are motivators

and so I was sheltered

amongst the lepers
and the wretches

I was sick
or hurt

amongst the damned

but only to eyes that I feared would see else and judge

I was truly the worst kind of villain
that child not really trapped in the well
the boy who cried out in the night
"wolves, wolves, wolves..."

The worst kind of villain ever created by evil untold is he who would use others concern and care as a leash

I could flee persecution so easily now
and I want to
to claim good behavior
or one past trauma that seems to mar me so much
but I wont

nor will I be brave enough to lay the case out in full
to explain my wrong
to apologize
I will merely let it slide away
like a haunting nightmare best forgotten

consider this feeble attempt
even ye not involved

My Apology

-EE