thoughts of lately.....

[eroticalybrutal]

what did i do?
what is happening?
do i exsist?
or am i on the back burner?
these questions reel in my mind
through and through
things are said, not quite promises
but actions always speak louder than words
did i say something?
did he read what i said?
im so confused
i thought something was there
im so pissed for being so niave
maybe im over-reacting
if thats the case then im pissed at myself yet again
i try my hardest to stay in his focus
maybe thats my problem
what if i dissappeared from his view?
what if i disconnected our connections?
if i do that then i run a great risk
and with him i dont wanna chance it
maybe as he reads this hell know its of him
and hopefully come to me
let me in
im shying away
but yet im still so connected
now that i think of it
i said it tooo soon
i said it to fast
i shouldnt have said it at all
my big mouth gets me into trouble
and i hope he doesnt get mad at me
but i honestly think hes trying to push me away
if thats the case
my heart will crack
but not break
ill glue it somehow im sure
ill get through this with or without him
i just wish.....