Searching: Part 1
Title: Searching
Author: Eros494
Rating: PG-13
Type: One-shot
Characters: Griffin/David
Summary: Griffin battles with himself about what a relationship really is. Will he ever be able to trust again?
Disclaimer: I don’t own Jumper…yet. >.>
Posted on jumperslash
Searching
Griffin pushed up onto his elbows and watched with widened eyes as David landed quite clumsily in the middle of the room and began ferreting around the place looking for hell knows what. The book he’d been reading, a gory vampire novel, dropped to his chest and slowly slipped down onto the covers as he shifted his feet off the bed onto the floor.
Six months and he hadn’t seen him once. Why now?
“Isn’t it midnight in New York?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at David’s back as he continued darting around like a lost puppy. “What in the bloody hell are you looking for?” he asked, his voice higher and a bit scratchy from nonuse. He rubbed absentmindedly at it as he stood and crossed a bit awkwardly to the other man. “David?” he gripped his arm as he bent to search beneath a table and pulled him back. “What’s going on?”
“I need to find it…” he murmured. It was when he spun on the spot and raked a trembling hand through his hair that Griffin began to feel a bit unnerved. Was he high?
“Find wha...?”
“The photo…I had a jump site and I can’t remember where it is.”
“What? A jump site? You have hundreds of them, David…” he moved to block his path as he tried to move around him. “Why is this so important?”
“I left her there. Last night.” David, realizing moving was no use, stopped trying to walk around him and instead crossed his arms over his chest defensively, looking around the room for answers Griffin was sure he’d never find. His eyes were wide, his lips were trembling, and his shoulders were visibly hunched and tense. He looked like he’d just awoken from a bad dream. He wore black pajamas, no shoes and there was sleep in the corner of his eyes. Griffin, a bit frazzled himself, stepped closer to the taller man until he could see his face a bit more clearly. David glared down at him.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Griffin scrunched up his nose and smirked. “I think you were dreaming,” he said his accent thick. He grimaced a bit in amusement. “Why else would you be searching my place for your photos? You don’t live here David and the last time I checked you haven’t moved any of your things inside.”
He moved away sauntering a short distance to his cooler filled with ice and beer. He grabbed a plastic cup from the floor and pulling the lid open, dug the cup inside dragging out an ample amount of ice before closing the lid back. Walking back to the other man he held out the cup which he took skeptically. “Chew on these. Maybe they’ll loosen your head up a bit, or give ya brain freeze. You shouldn’t notice a difference…” he continued mumbling underneath his breath about him being dense anyway. Laughing to himself he moved to sit on an overturned bin.
David, still a bit out of it, ignored the cup and settled down on the only comfortable seat in the place, Griffin’s bed. He sat the cup on the floor at his feet. “I’m not dreaming,” he added after a moment of silence. His voice was weak, barely audible over the howl of wind outside in the desert which was experiencing early morning dawn. “I was there…I just know it.” He bit his lip, aggravated by the fact that Griffin continued to laugh at him across the room. The bastard.
“Why don’t you believe me?” He growled. Griffin pursed his lips and shrugged.
“I think you’re loony to be frank. Was whatsherface even in your bed tonight?” He leaned forward to prop his elbow on his knee, cocking his head to the side as he waited for David to answer. And he better answer soon because he was a bit knackered after a night of not sleeping. That damn novel had only bored him rather than thrill him like those reviewers had predicted.
He watched as David looked to the right and then the left, up to the ceiling and then down to the floor. “I’ll save you the time. No!” He stood from the crate and moved to the bed.
“Marly…”
“Millie,” David corrected him, cutting his eyes at Griffin as he settled on the bed at his side.
“Yeah, her. She’s probably at home fast asleep while you’re here panicking about nothing at all. Why don’t you go home and I don’t know, sleep it off. Don’t come back in the morning. Kay?”
David swayed as the bed shifted underneath Griffin’s weight. “I’ve never had a dream like this before,” he said glancing over his shoulder at Griffin. He turned back slowly staring ahead at the barren sand walls not really seeing them at all. “I’ve never dreamt about something so terrifying…”
He could feel Griffin’s eyes on him from where he sat, but it didn’t bother him like it usually did. For once he wanted to hear what he had to say. He was the only person he knew who could understand what he was going through.
“Have you...?”
“I used too,” Griffin said curtly. There was no emotion behind his words, but David didn’t mind. If he didn’t care he wouldn’t have answered in the first place. That was the type of person Griffin was. After a moment of silence he began to speak.
“It used to be bad. I dreamt once that I dropped someone I loved off a cliff on accident and then when I woke up I didn’t remember where I’d taken them. It’s a memory jog. You jump too many places your brain tries to catch up and then when you bring another person into the picture, well; things get a bit more complicated now don’t they?” He said smiling weakly.
Shaking his head as if what he said was common sense, Griffin stifled a yawn in his palm and shifted down to lie on his back underneath the covers. He peered up at David’s back. “That’s one of the reasons I don’t get close to anyone. Those nightmares, they…”
“Are horrible?”
“Well, yeah. You get over it though so don’t worry about it.” Griffin patted the pillow under his head, closing his eyes though he was far from tired.
David turned completely now. “Did you really get over it or did you stop caring?”
Griffin peered beneath half closed lids. “Both,” he said before shutting his eyes again. “They’re only dreams, David.”
“Then why did you stop caring? If they’re only dreams?”
“Look!” Griffin sat up quickly, his eyes wild and blazing. He was getting tired of the twenty questions. “Being a jumper, you’re not the only one in danger. You put those you love in danger as well. Those dreams, they’re only manifestations of that fear--of losing someone, of being responsible for their deaths. It’s all fucking subconscious mind games we play with ourselves. If you stop caring they go away, alright?” His heart pounded in his chest now and his vision blurred and pulsed with the anger building up within him. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He’d come to terms with this cruel reality long before he’d met David. He didn’t like being forced to relive his self inflicted isolation repeatedly until he withdrew into himself again. Because it was only a matter of time before he snapped, before he actually looked around and saw that the life he was living was no life at all. He was living to live, breathing because his body forced him to. There was no point to it all anymore, hadn’t been since his parents were killed because of what he was.
“Griffin. I’m sorry.” His gaze darted back to David and it was then that he realized he’d been staring ahead, his question being asked of himself. The answer was no. Not caring wasn’t enough, yet it helped him deal, made going through the paces of everyday life more bearable so he didn’t wake up in hot sweats, screaming out for a life he no longer had. That was all gone now, never to return. He faced that. It was time David did the same.
“Listen. I know you may think you can have it all, but you can’t. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Everyone you love will die. It’s only a matter of time. Get used to it.” He pulled the covers up around his waist, glaring at David to move so he could get more comfortable. David did as asked, but he didn’t leave like he knew Griffin wanted him to.
“Tell me what happened. To your parents.”
“And why should I do that?” Griffin snapped. He raised a brow at David threatening him with his eyes to continue questioning him. Lips set, fingers clenched around the sheets, his muscles locked into place, tensing under all the pressure he was feeling. “Why should I tell you anything?”
“Because,” David said scratching a nervous itch behind his ear. “Because we’re…”
“Friends David? Friends don’t disappear months at a time. Friends don’t pretend you don’t exist until they need you for something. You’re wasting my time and you’re wasting your own and if you want me to be honest I will. I want you to leave.” He pointed out in no particular direction because he could care less where David went as long as he wasn’t in his house.
David glared at him through sleep deprived eyes, swaying a bit from lack of sleep and from confusion as he stared at Griffin who wasn’t looking at him any longer. Griffin had instead turned back to the book he’d been reading when he arrived. His eyes were unmoving so it was obvious he wasn’t reading, yet he didn’t want to look at him. But why should he? What he said was true. He didn’t come around until he had a question about something. Friends they were not, yet he thought they’d gotten closer, at least enough to chat without arguing.
David didn’t speak, didn’t say the thousands of things going through his mind that would console the frail man sitting before him because he could see the pain, the confusion carved into every surface of his person. He wanted him to stay yet he was afraid to let anyone get close. He hadn’t given him a reason to trust him so he wouldn’t dare hold a grudge against him now. Not tonight.
“Night.”
Envisioning his home in New York the dune room shrank away and had he looked before he left he would have seen a Griffin look his way, pain and unbidden sadness burrowing beneath cold brown eyes.
Author Note: Reviews are love. ^.^ And I was going to make this a chapter fic, but I think it works best as a one-shot.
Author: Eros494
Rating: PG-13
Type: One-shot
Characters: Griffin/David
Summary: Griffin battles with himself about what a relationship really is. Will he ever be able to trust again?
Disclaimer: I don’t own Jumper…yet. >.>
Posted on jumperslash
Searching
Griffin pushed up onto his elbows and watched with widened eyes as David landed quite clumsily in the middle of the room and began ferreting around the place looking for hell knows what. The book he’d been reading, a gory vampire novel, dropped to his chest and slowly slipped down onto the covers as he shifted his feet off the bed onto the floor.
Six months and he hadn’t seen him once. Why now?
“Isn’t it midnight in New York?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at David’s back as he continued darting around like a lost puppy. “What in the bloody hell are you looking for?” he asked, his voice higher and a bit scratchy from nonuse. He rubbed absentmindedly at it as he stood and crossed a bit awkwardly to the other man. “David?” he gripped his arm as he bent to search beneath a table and pulled him back. “What’s going on?”
“I need to find it…” he murmured. It was when he spun on the spot and raked a trembling hand through his hair that Griffin began to feel a bit unnerved. Was he high?
“Find wha...?”
“The photo…I had a jump site and I can’t remember where it is.”
“What? A jump site? You have hundreds of them, David…” he moved to block his path as he tried to move around him. “Why is this so important?”
“I left her there. Last night.” David, realizing moving was no use, stopped trying to walk around him and instead crossed his arms over his chest defensively, looking around the room for answers Griffin was sure he’d never find. His eyes were wide, his lips were trembling, and his shoulders were visibly hunched and tense. He looked like he’d just awoken from a bad dream. He wore black pajamas, no shoes and there was sleep in the corner of his eyes. Griffin, a bit frazzled himself, stepped closer to the taller man until he could see his face a bit more clearly. David glared down at him.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Griffin scrunched up his nose and smirked. “I think you were dreaming,” he said his accent thick. He grimaced a bit in amusement. “Why else would you be searching my place for your photos? You don’t live here David and the last time I checked you haven’t moved any of your things inside.”
He moved away sauntering a short distance to his cooler filled with ice and beer. He grabbed a plastic cup from the floor and pulling the lid open, dug the cup inside dragging out an ample amount of ice before closing the lid back. Walking back to the other man he held out the cup which he took skeptically. “Chew on these. Maybe they’ll loosen your head up a bit, or give ya brain freeze. You shouldn’t notice a difference…” he continued mumbling underneath his breath about him being dense anyway. Laughing to himself he moved to sit on an overturned bin.
David, still a bit out of it, ignored the cup and settled down on the only comfortable seat in the place, Griffin’s bed. He sat the cup on the floor at his feet. “I’m not dreaming,” he added after a moment of silence. His voice was weak, barely audible over the howl of wind outside in the desert which was experiencing early morning dawn. “I was there…I just know it.” He bit his lip, aggravated by the fact that Griffin continued to laugh at him across the room. The bastard.
“Why don’t you believe me?” He growled. Griffin pursed his lips and shrugged.
“I think you’re loony to be frank. Was whatsherface even in your bed tonight?” He leaned forward to prop his elbow on his knee, cocking his head to the side as he waited for David to answer. And he better answer soon because he was a bit knackered after a night of not sleeping. That damn novel had only bored him rather than thrill him like those reviewers had predicted.
He watched as David looked to the right and then the left, up to the ceiling and then down to the floor. “I’ll save you the time. No!” He stood from the crate and moved to the bed.
“Marly…”
“Millie,” David corrected him, cutting his eyes at Griffin as he settled on the bed at his side.
“Yeah, her. She’s probably at home fast asleep while you’re here panicking about nothing at all. Why don’t you go home and I don’t know, sleep it off. Don’t come back in the morning. Kay?”
David swayed as the bed shifted underneath Griffin’s weight. “I’ve never had a dream like this before,” he said glancing over his shoulder at Griffin. He turned back slowly staring ahead at the barren sand walls not really seeing them at all. “I’ve never dreamt about something so terrifying…”
He could feel Griffin’s eyes on him from where he sat, but it didn’t bother him like it usually did. For once he wanted to hear what he had to say. He was the only person he knew who could understand what he was going through.
“Have you...?”
“I used too,” Griffin said curtly. There was no emotion behind his words, but David didn’t mind. If he didn’t care he wouldn’t have answered in the first place. That was the type of person Griffin was. After a moment of silence he began to speak.
“It used to be bad. I dreamt once that I dropped someone I loved off a cliff on accident and then when I woke up I didn’t remember where I’d taken them. It’s a memory jog. You jump too many places your brain tries to catch up and then when you bring another person into the picture, well; things get a bit more complicated now don’t they?” He said smiling weakly.
Shaking his head as if what he said was common sense, Griffin stifled a yawn in his palm and shifted down to lie on his back underneath the covers. He peered up at David’s back. “That’s one of the reasons I don’t get close to anyone. Those nightmares, they…”
“Are horrible?”
“Well, yeah. You get over it though so don’t worry about it.” Griffin patted the pillow under his head, closing his eyes though he was far from tired.
David turned completely now. “Did you really get over it or did you stop caring?”
Griffin peered beneath half closed lids. “Both,” he said before shutting his eyes again. “They’re only dreams, David.”
“Then why did you stop caring? If they’re only dreams?”
“Look!” Griffin sat up quickly, his eyes wild and blazing. He was getting tired of the twenty questions. “Being a jumper, you’re not the only one in danger. You put those you love in danger as well. Those dreams, they’re only manifestations of that fear--of losing someone, of being responsible for their deaths. It’s all fucking subconscious mind games we play with ourselves. If you stop caring they go away, alright?” His heart pounded in his chest now and his vision blurred and pulsed with the anger building up within him. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He’d come to terms with this cruel reality long before he’d met David. He didn’t like being forced to relive his self inflicted isolation repeatedly until he withdrew into himself again. Because it was only a matter of time before he snapped, before he actually looked around and saw that the life he was living was no life at all. He was living to live, breathing because his body forced him to. There was no point to it all anymore, hadn’t been since his parents were killed because of what he was.
“Griffin. I’m sorry.” His gaze darted back to David and it was then that he realized he’d been staring ahead, his question being asked of himself. The answer was no. Not caring wasn’t enough, yet it helped him deal, made going through the paces of everyday life more bearable so he didn’t wake up in hot sweats, screaming out for a life he no longer had. That was all gone now, never to return. He faced that. It was time David did the same.
“Listen. I know you may think you can have it all, but you can’t. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Everyone you love will die. It’s only a matter of time. Get used to it.” He pulled the covers up around his waist, glaring at David to move so he could get more comfortable. David did as asked, but he didn’t leave like he knew Griffin wanted him to.
“Tell me what happened. To your parents.”
“And why should I do that?” Griffin snapped. He raised a brow at David threatening him with his eyes to continue questioning him. Lips set, fingers clenched around the sheets, his muscles locked into place, tensing under all the pressure he was feeling. “Why should I tell you anything?”
“Because,” David said scratching a nervous itch behind his ear. “Because we’re…”
“Friends David? Friends don’t disappear months at a time. Friends don’t pretend you don’t exist until they need you for something. You’re wasting my time and you’re wasting your own and if you want me to be honest I will. I want you to leave.” He pointed out in no particular direction because he could care less where David went as long as he wasn’t in his house.
David glared at him through sleep deprived eyes, swaying a bit from lack of sleep and from confusion as he stared at Griffin who wasn’t looking at him any longer. Griffin had instead turned back to the book he’d been reading when he arrived. His eyes were unmoving so it was obvious he wasn’t reading, yet he didn’t want to look at him. But why should he? What he said was true. He didn’t come around until he had a question about something. Friends they were not, yet he thought they’d gotten closer, at least enough to chat without arguing.
David didn’t speak, didn’t say the thousands of things going through his mind that would console the frail man sitting before him because he could see the pain, the confusion carved into every surface of his person. He wanted him to stay yet he was afraid to let anyone get close. He hadn’t given him a reason to trust him so he wouldn’t dare hold a grudge against him now. Not tonight.
“Night.”
Envisioning his home in New York the dune room shrank away and had he looked before he left he would have seen a Griffin look his way, pain and unbidden sadness burrowing beneath cold brown eyes.
Author Note: Reviews are love. ^.^ And I was going to make this a chapter fic, but I think it works best as a one-shot.