(no subject)
any fun today? nope. just work
some fun stuff, i got bored
To Test if your 4wd is working properly:
1) Find a passenger-helper.
2) If you have manual hubs, lock 'em.
3) Get into some real wet slippery mud.
4) Engage 4 wheel drive.
5) Stop the Jeep (in the mud).
6) Turn the steering wheel all the way right.
7) Stick your head out the driver's side window.
8} Look directly at your front wheel.
9) Floor the accelerator, only for a sceond or two.
10) Pull your head back in and look at the passenger-helper.
11) If the passenger-helper is laughing, your 4 wheel drive is likely engaging
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You might be a four wheeler if-
10 -you think SPAM Shish-ka-bobs on a phillips screw driver taste good.
9 -you have ever had 2 wheels off the ground and said "We're in good shape."
8 -you have ever "nuked" a microwave burrito on an intake manifold.
7 -you favorite cologne is "Eau de Unleaded" (91 octane).
6 -you have ever heard a counselor say "no I don't think 38" Boggers will work well under your wife's Ford Fiesta."
5 -you like mud cause "its high in minerals."
4 -every dent you put in your vehicle pops 2 dents out.
3 -you have to get the wheel barrow to clean your drive way off after you wash your vehicle.
2 -you think "protection from the elements" (i.e. a top) is for wussies.
And the #1 sign you might be a Four Wheeler is:
1 - you have driven a vehicle for 10 hours straight ...and never exceeded 3 mph.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Signs that you're a hard core Four wheeler:
- You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
- The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop, 8' high doors.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dualie, a 28'enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A grease pit.
5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
6) Deaf neighbors.
7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
8} Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere -or- hookups for the motor home
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Your email address refers to your truck rather than to you.
- You buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares.
- You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture for your house!
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of parts that could have been purchased.
- You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
- Your garage holds more vehicles than your house has bedrooms.
- You have enough spare parts to build another truck.
- You have truck parts in your cubicle at work.
- Your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG MTs and E-Z Locker and your 'significant other' knows what they are
- After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
- You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.
- People know you by your "off"s". "Oh, you are the one stuck in the mud at Fishing Creek last weekend!"
- You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
- Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills. Air tools optional.
- You plan your wedding around the club schedule.
- You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so.
- You give out 4 wheel Parts Wholesalers number when a friend asks for the best hardware store.
- You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the trail.
- You save broken car parts as " momentos".
- You know the exact story behind every one! (see above)
- You would choose a roll bar over air conditioning if it were an option.
- Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal crawl ratio for given situations.
- When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Jeep Owners Bible"
- You own five Trucks and only one of them is street legal.
- There's a poster of Moab up on the wall next to the family portraits.
- Your video collection contains more wheeling videos then regular videos.
- Your friends call to tell you they found another way into the woods rather than to see how your doing.
- You refer to "Friends" by the type of truck they drive rather than names.
- You filled out the Top Truck Challenge Voting card but threw away the Census 2000 forms.
- 90% of you work e-mail is wheeling related
- You keep trying to coerce your significant other to allow you to remove the doors on the mini van.
- You refer to the local construction site as "The testing ground".
- You can remember how to get to every trail you've been on but get lost going to your in-laws.
- "The Big Question" refers to Bogger or TSL.
- When someone says someone is Biased you immediately think of tires.
- Your truck no longer fits in the garage.
- Your truck has gone to super model status and doesn't leave the garage for any trail less than a 4+.
- Your daily driver is considered a mild trail rig.
- Drivers behind you can see the car in front of you, under the truck.
- The term "Open with Attitude" is tattooed on you, or you're thinking about it.
- You base your next vehicle purchase on it's crawl ratio and what's available for it in the after market.
- People see pictures of your truck flexed out and ask "Is it broken?".
- You stopped washing your truck cause it shows off the scratches.
- Your boss asks you not to bring the truck to work anymore because it won't fit in the parking garage without the antenna scraping the ceiling.
- You've actually replaced a fluorescent light in the parking garage cause your antenna hit it.
- Your club web site is your home page.
- You are in search of a house that borders state forest and refuse to buy anything that's not even remotely close to it.
- You'll drop a couple grand on new axles but the kitchen sink still leaks.
- The vacation pictures are all off road.
- You ALWAYS have your drinks on the rocks!
- You look at an open are in the woods and can determine the best line.
- You base your social class on your recent RTI score rather than how much money you make.
- Working on your truck is considered relaxation.
- Every time you see a lowered truck you wanna get out and slap the driver silly.
- You look at other cars and think to yourself "I can crawl over that".
- You consider Rubicon as the holy land.
- Tellico no longer scares you.
- You carry more parts to the trail than home.
- You've installed or though about installing a lift on the lawn mower.
- You consider anything without 4wd-Useless.
- Your ideal vehicle is a Unimog.
- Your truck cost as much as an italian sports car.
- When someone mentions "Xtreme" your eyes light up!
- Motivation involves someone saying "you can't make it".
And the #1 Sign you're a hard core wheeler:
It's not considered a good trail ride if nothing breaks!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You Are a Real Jeeper if... .
1. A new dent in the sheet metal actually fixed another dent, or it just added some character.
2. You know at least 3 800 numbers to aftermarket off-road business by heart.
3. You are on a first name basis with the guys at every local auto parts store in town.
4. You want to take things apart and rebuild them, even if they are not broken.
5. You have a monetary equivalent of a Mercedes Sedan invested into your jeep, but it still looks like crap.
6. You consider starting a vehicle five times in any given minute routine.
7. You own a vehicle, which now weighs 1000 pounds more than when it came off the showroom floor.
8. You look for jeeps in everything, and try to figure out the year and model.
9. You are the type of person who immediately goes postal if you sit in a highway traffic jam more than 5 minutes, yet you can spend six hours driving one and half miles and consider it to be a form of relaxation.
10. You'll stop and look at any old rust heap thinking parts vehicle.
11. Your Jeep has more (farm/boat/military/other) equipment on it than OEM parts.
12. The weatherman says "Stay in, it's dangerous" and you think "Time to go wheeling".
13. You are happy that you can't use 1st gear on the street.
14. A military convoy passes by and you only look at the axles, tires, and antennas.
15. You have enough straps, chains, rope, etc. in your Jeep to keep the Queen Mary docked during a hurricane.
16. You understand that JEEP is a way of life, not just for transportation.
17. You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside.
18. A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you get out and bi*ch slap the driver.
19. You have a high-water mark on the Inside of the Jeep.
20. You use a ice scraper on the Inside of the windshield.
21. The AAA guy breaks down, you stop and fix his problem and get back on the road.
22. You'll drive 2 days at 600 miles a day so you can spend 2 more days driving 3 miles per day.
23. You have more pictures of your Jeep than of your kids.
24. You spend more time deciding which $3.00 bushing to use than you do on personal hygiene.
25. You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep.
26. You call a scratch or dent, a beauty mark.
27. You roll it over and don't get upset.
28. You puke when you see a RAV-4.
29. You pull into the Unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
30. You take your friends wheeling and they say, "Trail?; I don't see any trail!"
31. You've been forced to add CJ, YJ, and TJ to your spell checker.
32. It rains and you don't care if your top and doors are on or off.
33. You change your plugs in the parking lot at work while on break.
34. You get more heat through the holes in the floor than you do through the heat vent.
35. Every page of your repair manual has greasy finger prints on it.
36. Every car wash in town has banned you for life.
37. You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser.
38. You are the only one on the street that doesn't plow their driveway.
39. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage.
40. You nickname your Jeep after i.e.. the noise it makes, the last screw up on the trail, etc.
41. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.
42. You carry more extra fuel than what most of today's cars hold in their gas tanks.
43. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.
44. When rendezvousing with a lady for the first time, you tell her that you're the one that smells like a Jeep.
45. Winter comes and you can't remember where you put the top.
46. Your wallet is always empty.
47. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm.
48. You carry along a replacement part for every driveline component on the Jeep.
49. You slam your door and pieces of mud or rust fall from your Jeep.
50. You have to let the air out of your tires to get the Jeep into a garage.
51. Your parts department is on blocks behind your house.
52. Passengers scream "Don't Roll It!" when you take them wheeling.
53. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.
54. You think any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel.
55. You can't take a girl in a dress on a date without carrying along some steps.
56. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.
57. You get custom pin striping from trail brush.
58. You are outlawed at every car wash in town.
59. You can see OVER a Suburban
60. You're sitting here reading this while your wife/husband is waiting for you in bed
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always have to have a song too... so heres one to go with the theme today...
Wheelin' Through a Winter Wonderland
(Sung to the tune "Walkin' In A Winter Wonderland")
Beads pop off, are you listenin'
Cold wind through - your ears is whistlin'
Your winch falls apart, your engine won't start
Wheelin' through a winter wonderland
Snow is deep, your butt is freezin'
Broke a birfield, it ain't pleasin'
You're starting to slide, on your wheels, then your side
Wheelin' through a winter wonderland
On the hillclimb we can barely make it
Traction's really nowhere to be found
Pull the cable, snatch the block and fake it.
Or claw along and put the hammer down!
Later on, we'll perspire
Drying gloves by the fire
Counting things that we broke, "That's Wheeling" we'll joke,
Wheeling through a winter wonderland...
=========================================================
Scientists have revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive.
No further testing is planned.
some fun stuff, i got bored
To Test if your 4wd is working properly:
1) Find a passenger-helper.
2) If you have manual hubs, lock 'em.
3) Get into some real wet slippery mud.
4) Engage 4 wheel drive.
5) Stop the Jeep (in the mud).
6) Turn the steering wheel all the way right.
7) Stick your head out the driver's side window.
8} Look directly at your front wheel.
9) Floor the accelerator, only for a sceond or two.
10) Pull your head back in and look at the passenger-helper.
11) If the passenger-helper is laughing, your 4 wheel drive is likely engaging
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You might be a four wheeler if-
10 -you think SPAM Shish-ka-bobs on a phillips screw driver taste good.
9 -you have ever had 2 wheels off the ground and said "We're in good shape."
8 -you have ever "nuked" a microwave burrito on an intake manifold.
7 -you favorite cologne is "Eau de Unleaded" (91 octane).
6 -you have ever heard a counselor say "no I don't think 38" Boggers will work well under your wife's Ford Fiesta."
5 -you like mud cause "its high in minerals."
4 -every dent you put in your vehicle pops 2 dents out.
3 -you have to get the wheel barrow to clean your drive way off after you wash your vehicle.
2 -you think "protection from the elements" (i.e. a top) is for wussies.
And the #1 sign you might be a Four Wheeler is:
1 - you have driven a vehicle for 10 hours straight ...and never exceeded 3 mph.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Signs that you're a hard core Four wheeler:
- You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
- The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop, 8' high doors.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dualie, a 28'enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A grease pit.
5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
6) Deaf neighbors.
7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
8} Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere -or- hookups for the motor home
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Your email address refers to your truck rather than to you.
- You buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares.
- You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture for your house!
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of parts that could have been purchased.
- You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
- Your garage holds more vehicles than your house has bedrooms.
- You have enough spare parts to build another truck.
- You have truck parts in your cubicle at work.
- Your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG MTs and E-Z Locker and your 'significant other' knows what they are
- After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
- You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.
- People know you by your "off"s". "Oh, you are the one stuck in the mud at Fishing Creek last weekend!"
- You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
- Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills. Air tools optional.
- You plan your wedding around the club schedule.
- You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so.
- You give out 4 wheel Parts Wholesalers number when a friend asks for the best hardware store.
- You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the trail.
- You save broken car parts as " momentos".
- You know the exact story behind every one! (see above)
- You would choose a roll bar over air conditioning if it were an option.
- Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal crawl ratio for given situations.
- When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Jeep Owners Bible"
- You own five Trucks and only one of them is street legal.
- There's a poster of Moab up on the wall next to the family portraits.
- Your video collection contains more wheeling videos then regular videos.
- Your friends call to tell you they found another way into the woods rather than to see how your doing.
- You refer to "Friends" by the type of truck they drive rather than names.
- You filled out the Top Truck Challenge Voting card but threw away the Census 2000 forms.
- 90% of you work e-mail is wheeling related
- You keep trying to coerce your significant other to allow you to remove the doors on the mini van.
- You refer to the local construction site as "The testing ground".
- You can remember how to get to every trail you've been on but get lost going to your in-laws.
- "The Big Question" refers to Bogger or TSL.
- When someone says someone is Biased you immediately think of tires.
- Your truck no longer fits in the garage.
- Your truck has gone to super model status and doesn't leave the garage for any trail less than a 4+.
- Your daily driver is considered a mild trail rig.
- Drivers behind you can see the car in front of you, under the truck.
- The term "Open with Attitude" is tattooed on you, or you're thinking about it.
- You base your next vehicle purchase on it's crawl ratio and what's available for it in the after market.
- People see pictures of your truck flexed out and ask "Is it broken?".
- You stopped washing your truck cause it shows off the scratches.
- Your boss asks you not to bring the truck to work anymore because it won't fit in the parking garage without the antenna scraping the ceiling.
- You've actually replaced a fluorescent light in the parking garage cause your antenna hit it.
- Your club web site is your home page.
- You are in search of a house that borders state forest and refuse to buy anything that's not even remotely close to it.
- You'll drop a couple grand on new axles but the kitchen sink still leaks.
- The vacation pictures are all off road.
- You ALWAYS have your drinks on the rocks!
- You look at an open are in the woods and can determine the best line.
- You base your social class on your recent RTI score rather than how much money you make.
- Working on your truck is considered relaxation.
- Every time you see a lowered truck you wanna get out and slap the driver silly.
- You look at other cars and think to yourself "I can crawl over that".
- You consider Rubicon as the holy land.
- Tellico no longer scares you.
- You carry more parts to the trail than home.
- You've installed or though about installing a lift on the lawn mower.
- You consider anything without 4wd-Useless.
- Your ideal vehicle is a Unimog.
- Your truck cost as much as an italian sports car.
- When someone mentions "Xtreme" your eyes light up!
- Motivation involves someone saying "you can't make it".
And the #1 Sign you're a hard core wheeler:
It's not considered a good trail ride if nothing breaks!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You Are a Real Jeeper if... .
1. A new dent in the sheet metal actually fixed another dent, or it just added some character.
2. You know at least 3 800 numbers to aftermarket off-road business by heart.
3. You are on a first name basis with the guys at every local auto parts store in town.
4. You want to take things apart and rebuild them, even if they are not broken.
5. You have a monetary equivalent of a Mercedes Sedan invested into your jeep, but it still looks like crap.
6. You consider starting a vehicle five times in any given minute routine.
7. You own a vehicle, which now weighs 1000 pounds more than when it came off the showroom floor.
8. You look for jeeps in everything, and try to figure out the year and model.
9. You are the type of person who immediately goes postal if you sit in a highway traffic jam more than 5 minutes, yet you can spend six hours driving one and half miles and consider it to be a form of relaxation.
10. You'll stop and look at any old rust heap thinking parts vehicle.
11. Your Jeep has more (farm/boat/military/other) equipment on it than OEM parts.
12. The weatherman says "Stay in, it's dangerous" and you think "Time to go wheeling".
13. You are happy that you can't use 1st gear on the street.
14. A military convoy passes by and you only look at the axles, tires, and antennas.
15. You have enough straps, chains, rope, etc. in your Jeep to keep the Queen Mary docked during a hurricane.
16. You understand that JEEP is a way of life, not just for transportation.
17. You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside.
18. A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you get out and bi*ch slap the driver.
19. You have a high-water mark on the Inside of the Jeep.
20. You use a ice scraper on the Inside of the windshield.
21. The AAA guy breaks down, you stop and fix his problem and get back on the road.
22. You'll drive 2 days at 600 miles a day so you can spend 2 more days driving 3 miles per day.
23. You have more pictures of your Jeep than of your kids.
24. You spend more time deciding which $3.00 bushing to use than you do on personal hygiene.
25. You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep.
26. You call a scratch or dent, a beauty mark.
27. You roll it over and don't get upset.
28. You puke when you see a RAV-4.
29. You pull into the Unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
30. You take your friends wheeling and they say, "Trail?; I don't see any trail!"
31. You've been forced to add CJ, YJ, and TJ to your spell checker.
32. It rains and you don't care if your top and doors are on or off.
33. You change your plugs in the parking lot at work while on break.
34. You get more heat through the holes in the floor than you do through the heat vent.
35. Every page of your repair manual has greasy finger prints on it.
36. Every car wash in town has banned you for life.
37. You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser.
38. You are the only one on the street that doesn't plow their driveway.
39. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage.
40. You nickname your Jeep after i.e.. the noise it makes, the last screw up on the trail, etc.
41. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.
42. You carry more extra fuel than what most of today's cars hold in their gas tanks.
43. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.
44. When rendezvousing with a lady for the first time, you tell her that you're the one that smells like a Jeep.
45. Winter comes and you can't remember where you put the top.
46. Your wallet is always empty.
47. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm.
48. You carry along a replacement part for every driveline component on the Jeep.
49. You slam your door and pieces of mud or rust fall from your Jeep.
50. You have to let the air out of your tires to get the Jeep into a garage.
51. Your parts department is on blocks behind your house.
52. Passengers scream "Don't Roll It!" when you take them wheeling.
53. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.
54. You think any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel.
55. You can't take a girl in a dress on a date without carrying along some steps.
56. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.
57. You get custom pin striping from trail brush.
58. You are outlawed at every car wash in town.
59. You can see OVER a Suburban
60. You're sitting here reading this while your wife/husband is waiting for you in bed
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always have to have a song too... so heres one to go with the theme today...
Wheelin' Through a Winter Wonderland
(Sung to the tune "Walkin' In A Winter Wonderland")
Beads pop off, are you listenin'
Cold wind through - your ears is whistlin'
Your winch falls apart, your engine won't start
Wheelin' through a winter wonderland
Snow is deep, your butt is freezin'
Broke a birfield, it ain't pleasin'
You're starting to slide, on your wheels, then your side
Wheelin' through a winter wonderland
On the hillclimb we can barely make it
Traction's really nowhere to be found
Pull the cable, snatch the block and fake it.
Or claw along and put the hammer down!
Later on, we'll perspire
Drying gloves by the fire
Counting things that we broke, "That's Wheeling" we'll joke,
Wheeling through a winter wonderland...
=========================================================
Scientists have revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive.
No further testing is planned.