...
I wonder if I'm depressed if i have this really strong urge to smoke and drink. Maybe i'm just frustrated. I feel like living fast and dying young.
I dont know what it is...I Just feel so...sad.
I hate these times of the night when I feel completely alone and...not alive.
Maybe that's why I put on these costumes on these nights and pretend I'm someone else, it helps break me free from these four walls. These conformities of normality...I don't really feel I'm an individual I feel I was put on this earth to serve the people who need me, but it hurts to sometime wonder what happens when I'm not needed anymore..?
What happens when the things I've held so dear come to an end? Will I die out inside? x_x;Or maybe I died out a long time ago and I'm clinging onto these memories like a ghost.
Either way..right now I don't feel real...
So I put on a dress and make up until i no longer resemble myself and I dance. I want to forget I want to wake up and one day find myself being the sane one in a made world, not the other way around.
I dont know what it is...I Just feel so...sad.
I hate these times of the night when I feel completely alone and...not alive.
Maybe that's why I put on these costumes on these nights and pretend I'm someone else, it helps break me free from these four walls. These conformities of normality...I don't really feel I'm an individual I feel I was put on this earth to serve the people who need me, but it hurts to sometime wonder what happens when I'm not needed anymore..?
What happens when the things I've held so dear come to an end? Will I die out inside? x_x;Or maybe I died out a long time ago and I'm clinging onto these memories like a ghost.
Either way..right now I don't feel real...
So I put on a dress and make up until i no longer resemble myself and I dance. I want to forget I want to wake up and one day find myself being the sane one in a made world, not the other way around.