[Oneshot] Just The Little Things
Author: erodedveins
Pairing: Onkey, Broken!Jongkey
Genre: Angst, Smut, AU
Word-count: 1298
Rating: NC-17
Summary: "She left me roses by the stairs... Surprises let me know she cares."
A/N: TOP!Key, mentions of character death
Kibum opened the door to his apartment, laughing stupidly at something on his phone. But when he looked up and saw his kitchen counter, he stopped cold. There was a vase of fresh red roses sitting in a cheery pink vase, and considering what day it was, what the meaning behind the flowers were, both the cheery vase and the flowers seemed wildly inappropriate. Kibum choked back a sob at the terrible (and most likely unintentionally hurtful) reminder.
Before coming home from work, he’d stopped at a bar and drank himself silly. In the wake of the reminder, his drunken haze disappeared. An icy sobriety took its place, combined with a guilt so strong and heavy it weighed his bones down to the point of forcing him on his knees. Barely visible from the doorway was a small card in amongst the flowers. Even without reading it, Kibum knew exactly what it’d say. He got one every year, after all, and the message had never changed.
~*~*~
'Kibum,
On this day of remembrance, I hope you can stay strong and know that you will always be able to count on me.
Love,
Jinki’
~*~*~
An hour later, Kibum was knocking frantically on Jinki’s door. At least some of the alcohol remained in his system, otherwise he never would’ve been bothering Jinki so early in the morning. He would’ve waited were he entirely sober, or at least that’s what he desperately tried to tell himself. Jinki opened the door, eyes peeking out blearily.
"Oh," his voice was soft, full of resignation. "Kibum.. I’ve been expecting you." Kibum’s tears spilled over, and without bothering to reply, he smashed his lips to Jinki’s.
Sex between them wasn’t a new thing, but it wasn’t exactly a frequent occurrence either. Every single time it happened, both of them felt at their lowest afterwards. Kibum felt sure that they were heading closer and closer to ruin after each encounter, but his need for physical comfort, especially on this day, never failed to win out in the end. No matter how hard he strived to stay away.
The pair made their way into the bedroom hurriedly shedding their clothes. With them, everything had to be rushed, because their better judgement would win out otherwise.
Kibum relished the feeling of Jinki’s lean, muscular body against his. Flashes of a shorter, more toned muscular torso ran through his mind and he almost stopped. Jinki seemed to sense where his thoughts had gone and grabbed his already extremely hard cock. In the dark, it was difficult to see Jinki’s expression, but Kibum knew from previous experience that he probably didn’t want to see it anyway.
"Kibum," Jinki’s breathy, raspy tone sent Kibum’s blood singing through his veins. "Not this time, hm? Don’t punish yourself tonight."
Kibum stopped breathing for a moment, but Jinki’s hand squeezed his cock and he moaned, the rush of endorphins causing his arousal to spike even higher. He pushed Jinki up against the wall of the bedroom, not willing to hear any more. His tongue explored Jinki’s mouth like it had done too many times before.
He reached between him and Jinki, unsurprised to find Jinki’s dick already throbbing. It had even become slightly painful, if Jinki’s subtle shifting was anything to go by.
"You know how I like it," Kibum whispered quietly. Once, someone else had known how he liked it. The pain lanced his heart, breaking it open wide. He wrapped Jinki’s legs around him, grabbing the bottle of lube from the dresser. They laid on the bed, and Kibum desperately tried to distract himself from the pain by submerging his entire focus in the moans and whimpers coming from Jinki’s mouth. "But tonight, I want it rough,” he managed, trying to stave off the tears he knew would come.
Jinki stopped writhing and looked up from being prepped. The surprise was clear on his face. After a few seconds, his eyes flicked down again. No verbal consent had been given, but Kibum knew he had permission anyway. He flipped Jinki over, grunting at the feel of Jinki’s hole opening up around him.
This was the part Kibum never failed to remember. Always, Jinki was a good, attentive partner. Submissive, nearly to the extreme. Jink would let Kibum do almost anything he wanted, as far as sex was concerned. Sex with Jinki was an experience he’d never been able to recreate with anyone else (and he had tried, so so many times). That was part of the reason he kept coming back, he supposed.
He gave himself to the sensation of Jinki’s hips meeting his harsh thrusts. His mind lit up with pleasure and he moaned lowly. The sound of Jinki’s labored breathing excited him, furthering his quickly approaching orgasm. The feeling of being buried inside Jinki had Kibum ready to come unglued after only a few short minutes.
"Aah…," he gasped. "Aah!" Flashes of bright blonde hair and a smiling face invaded his brain. That cute little mole, located on the center of his chest… His cute, puppy-like expressions. His naked body, presented with no small measure of insecurity. His unwavering love. “J-Jonghyun!”
Abruptly, everything froze and shattered.
Always, that name spoiled everything. Once upon a time, it had meant Kibum’s happiness. Now, it was a scalpel opening an ever-present, festering wound.
The mood was ruined, a disaster that had been destined to occur. In a panic, Kibum quickly leapt out of Jinki’s bed. It always ended like this, and Kibum was getting tired of it. He was tired of feeling like a fuck-up, like he'd cheated on someone who wasn't even around anymore. He grabbed his boxers, putting them on in a flash. The rest of his clothing soon followed suit. Jinki followed him silently.
"Kibum," at the door of his apartment, Jinki begged. "Please. I don’t care, just… Stay." With tears in his eyes, Kibum shook his head. He ignored Jinki’s babbling, refusing to look Jinki in the eyes. He shut the door, and for a minute he listened to Jinki sobbing quietly on the other side.
Outside, he flagged a taxi and gave the address of a place he couldn’t escape. He stumbled his way through the rows, knowing exactly where he was headed without being able to see through his tears.
"Jonghyun," Kibum blubbered, sinking to his knees in front of the modest headstone."I’m so sorry. I.. I can’t give up either of you, and I’m hurting him because of it, oh God. I’m so fucking sorry, Jonghyun, please forgive me for doing this to your best friend…"
Then he screamed, finding solace in the emptiness that followed.
~*~*~
Kibum came home early from work that fateful Wednesday afternoon. He knew it was Jonghyun’s birthday, and he knew that Jonghyun had been extremely disappointed that he couldn’t have gotten it off. But he was trying to make up for it, and so he’d bought a cake and some balloons.
He unlocked the front door, juggling the cake and balloons in one hand.
"Jonghyun, I’m ho-," the cake fell to the floor, forgotten. Kibum’s eyes went wide, taking in the sight of Jonghyun’s unmoving body face down on the living room floor.
At the funeral, Jonghyun’s mother came up to him and explained that Jonghyun had had a congenital heart defect. He hadn’t wanted Kibum to know because..
~*~*~
"He never wanted you to think any less of him, Kibum."
Pairing: Onkey, Broken!Jongkey
Genre: Angst, Smut, AU
Word-count: 1298
Rating: NC-17
Summary: "She left me roses by the stairs... Surprises let me know she cares."
A/N: TOP!Key, mentions of character death
Kibum opened the door to his apartment, laughing stupidly at something on his phone. But when he looked up and saw his kitchen counter, he stopped cold. There was a vase of fresh red roses sitting in a cheery pink vase, and considering what day it was, what the meaning behind the flowers were, both the cheery vase and the flowers seemed wildly inappropriate. Kibum choked back a sob at the terrible (and most likely unintentionally hurtful) reminder.
Before coming home from work, he’d stopped at a bar and drank himself silly. In the wake of the reminder, his drunken haze disappeared. An icy sobriety took its place, combined with a guilt so strong and heavy it weighed his bones down to the point of forcing him on his knees. Barely visible from the doorway was a small card in amongst the flowers. Even without reading it, Kibum knew exactly what it’d say. He got one every year, after all, and the message had never changed.
~*~*~
'Kibum,
On this day of remembrance, I hope you can stay strong and know that you will always be able to count on me.
Love,
Jinki’
~*~*~
An hour later, Kibum was knocking frantically on Jinki’s door. At least some of the alcohol remained in his system, otherwise he never would’ve been bothering Jinki so early in the morning. He would’ve waited were he entirely sober, or at least that’s what he desperately tried to tell himself. Jinki opened the door, eyes peeking out blearily.
"Oh," his voice was soft, full of resignation. "Kibum.. I’ve been expecting you." Kibum’s tears spilled over, and without bothering to reply, he smashed his lips to Jinki’s.
Sex between them wasn’t a new thing, but it wasn’t exactly a frequent occurrence either. Every single time it happened, both of them felt at their lowest afterwards. Kibum felt sure that they were heading closer and closer to ruin after each encounter, but his need for physical comfort, especially on this day, never failed to win out in the end. No matter how hard he strived to stay away.
The pair made their way into the bedroom hurriedly shedding their clothes. With them, everything had to be rushed, because their better judgement would win out otherwise.
Kibum relished the feeling of Jinki’s lean, muscular body against his. Flashes of a shorter, more toned muscular torso ran through his mind and he almost stopped. Jinki seemed to sense where his thoughts had gone and grabbed his already extremely hard cock. In the dark, it was difficult to see Jinki’s expression, but Kibum knew from previous experience that he probably didn’t want to see it anyway.
"Kibum," Jinki’s breathy, raspy tone sent Kibum’s blood singing through his veins. "Not this time, hm? Don’t punish yourself tonight."
Kibum stopped breathing for a moment, but Jinki’s hand squeezed his cock and he moaned, the rush of endorphins causing his arousal to spike even higher. He pushed Jinki up against the wall of the bedroom, not willing to hear any more. His tongue explored Jinki’s mouth like it had done too many times before.
He reached between him and Jinki, unsurprised to find Jinki’s dick already throbbing. It had even become slightly painful, if Jinki’s subtle shifting was anything to go by.
"You know how I like it," Kibum whispered quietly. Once, someone else had known how he liked it. The pain lanced his heart, breaking it open wide. He wrapped Jinki’s legs around him, grabbing the bottle of lube from the dresser. They laid on the bed, and Kibum desperately tried to distract himself from the pain by submerging his entire focus in the moans and whimpers coming from Jinki’s mouth. "But tonight, I want it rough,” he managed, trying to stave off the tears he knew would come.
Jinki stopped writhing and looked up from being prepped. The surprise was clear on his face. After a few seconds, his eyes flicked down again. No verbal consent had been given, but Kibum knew he had permission anyway. He flipped Jinki over, grunting at the feel of Jinki’s hole opening up around him.
This was the part Kibum never failed to remember. Always, Jinki was a good, attentive partner. Submissive, nearly to the extreme. Jink would let Kibum do almost anything he wanted, as far as sex was concerned. Sex with Jinki was an experience he’d never been able to recreate with anyone else (and he had tried, so so many times). That was part of the reason he kept coming back, he supposed.
He gave himself to the sensation of Jinki’s hips meeting his harsh thrusts. His mind lit up with pleasure and he moaned lowly. The sound of Jinki’s labored breathing excited him, furthering his quickly approaching orgasm. The feeling of being buried inside Jinki had Kibum ready to come unglued after only a few short minutes.
"Aah…," he gasped. "Aah!" Flashes of bright blonde hair and a smiling face invaded his brain. That cute little mole, located on the center of his chest… His cute, puppy-like expressions. His naked body, presented with no small measure of insecurity. His unwavering love. “J-Jonghyun!”
Abruptly, everything froze and shattered.
Always, that name spoiled everything. Once upon a time, it had meant Kibum’s happiness. Now, it was a scalpel opening an ever-present, festering wound.
The mood was ruined, a disaster that had been destined to occur. In a panic, Kibum quickly leapt out of Jinki’s bed. It always ended like this, and Kibum was getting tired of it. He was tired of feeling like a fuck-up, like he'd cheated on someone who wasn't even around anymore. He grabbed his boxers, putting them on in a flash. The rest of his clothing soon followed suit. Jinki followed him silently.
"Kibum," at the door of his apartment, Jinki begged. "Please. I don’t care, just… Stay." With tears in his eyes, Kibum shook his head. He ignored Jinki’s babbling, refusing to look Jinki in the eyes. He shut the door, and for a minute he listened to Jinki sobbing quietly on the other side.
Outside, he flagged a taxi and gave the address of a place he couldn’t escape. He stumbled his way through the rows, knowing exactly where he was headed without being able to see through his tears.
"Jonghyun," Kibum blubbered, sinking to his knees in front of the modest headstone."I’m so sorry. I.. I can’t give up either of you, and I’m hurting him because of it, oh God. I’m so fucking sorry, Jonghyun, please forgive me for doing this to your best friend…"
Then he screamed, finding solace in the emptiness that followed.
~*~*~
Kibum came home early from work that fateful Wednesday afternoon. He knew it was Jonghyun’s birthday, and he knew that Jonghyun had been extremely disappointed that he couldn’t have gotten it off. But he was trying to make up for it, and so he’d bought a cake and some balloons.
He unlocked the front door, juggling the cake and balloons in one hand.
"Jonghyun, I’m ho-," the cake fell to the floor, forgotten. Kibum’s eyes went wide, taking in the sight of Jonghyun’s unmoving body face down on the living room floor.
At the funeral, Jonghyun’s mother came up to him and explained that Jonghyun had had a congenital heart defect. He hadn’t wanted Kibum to know because..
~*~*~
"He never wanted you to think any less of him, Kibum."