Journal Entry - September 10, 1998
So I've had over a week to think about it, and I'm still not sure what to do. I've asked Michael, and a few other friends, and they all tell me the same thing. Yet I just wish i had someone who could see things the same way I do - if then they told me the same thing, then fine.
It all started when Madame Pomfrey came to me in the Great Hall at dinnertime on the 2nd. She asked to have a moment of my time, and of course I said yes. I'd grown to know her better than I thought I ever would as we'd worked together over the summer, and I have such a profound respect for her.
She asked if I would like to continue working with her in the infirmary during the school year. She said that officially it was because, with the added students (7th years redoing their last year, etc.), she anticipated having more work to do. However, she told me that she felt, after watching me all summer, that I had the makings of an excellent Healer and she wanted me there to learn as much as possible - and that she'd be willing to put in a good word to the St. Mungo's training program when it was time for me to finish my year.
I told her I'd think about it, that I had school to think of and Prefect duties, but the real reason is that I just don't know yet.
I think it goes back to when I was young. Every parent wants the best for their children, hoping they will grow up to be successful and prosperous, and often they wish for their children to become Healers for that very reason. My father was no exception. That was long before the current division between us which has only gotten worse. (Did I mention I went back home the day before school started? I told Mum and Dad about Michael, announced it almost defiantly to my father. Mum had suspected there was something between us when she'd met Michael over the summer, but my father of course took it as further insult to the family name, or some such thing. Anyway...)
At the time, I'd told my father with a smile that I would find my own way, my own path and destiny. I must have been ten at the time, but somehow I still had some childish concept of destiny. But now it looks like that destiny is what my father wanted for me all along, and my instinct is to rebel against it.
I asked Michael if it was wrong to hesitate about doing something I'm good at just to spite my father. He said of course it was. Everyone else seems to agree. They just don't understand, how it almost feels tainted now because it's what he wanted. Everything associated with him feels tainted now in some way... does that include me?
I never thought I'd ever ask this question again since third year when all I wanted was to be Prefect and Head Boy, but... what would Percy Weasley do?
It all started when Madame Pomfrey came to me in the Great Hall at dinnertime on the 2nd. She asked to have a moment of my time, and of course I said yes. I'd grown to know her better than I thought I ever would as we'd worked together over the summer, and I have such a profound respect for her.
She asked if I would like to continue working with her in the infirmary during the school year. She said that officially it was because, with the added students (7th years redoing their last year, etc.), she anticipated having more work to do. However, she told me that she felt, after watching me all summer, that I had the makings of an excellent Healer and she wanted me there to learn as much as possible - and that she'd be willing to put in a good word to the St. Mungo's training program when it was time for me to finish my year.
I told her I'd think about it, that I had school to think of and Prefect duties, but the real reason is that I just don't know yet.
I think it goes back to when I was young. Every parent wants the best for their children, hoping they will grow up to be successful and prosperous, and often they wish for their children to become Healers for that very reason. My father was no exception. That was long before the current division between us which has only gotten worse. (Did I mention I went back home the day before school started? I told Mum and Dad about Michael, announced it almost defiantly to my father. Mum had suspected there was something between us when she'd met Michael over the summer, but my father of course took it as further insult to the family name, or some such thing. Anyway...)
At the time, I'd told my father with a smile that I would find my own way, my own path and destiny. I must have been ten at the time, but somehow I still had some childish concept of destiny. But now it looks like that destiny is what my father wanted for me all along, and my instinct is to rebel against it.
I asked Michael if it was wrong to hesitate about doing something I'm good at just to spite my father. He said of course it was. Everyone else seems to agree. They just don't understand, how it almost feels tainted now because it's what he wanted. Everything associated with him feels tainted now in some way... does that include me?
I never thought I'd ever ask this question again since third year when all I wanted was to be Prefect and Head Boy, but... what would Percy Weasley do?