38 Erny Facts
Because nutmeg3 challenged me! (And I need something to focus on besides myself)
1. I've lived in Ohio my entire life. I don't entirely expect that to change.
2. I really don't like hot yoga, but I make myself do it because it's supposed to be really good for your body. I like how I feel afterwards.
3. Since I'm alone in the office, I usually make some time to dance or sing.
4. I think I would kill it on Lip Synch Battle.
5. I've always wanted to be a drag queen. Even before I was with the drag troupe, I thought it would be so much fun.
6. When I was in high school, I thought I was really talented at drawing and painting, and I wanted to do that forever and ever. Eventually, through not-so-subtle hints of friends, family, and teachers, I got the hint that I'm not that super amazing, and I should probably drop it.
7. I love autumn clothes. I get really excited when I can break out the hoodies and the head-sweaters.
8. Speaking of sweaters, I've had my favourite sweater since I was in 8th grade. I bought it off the men's clearance rack at Gap, and my mother was mortified that I was so huge.
9. My complicated relationship with food started when I was in 6th grade. I was trying on a pair of shorts that were a size 9 and too small, and the girl in the fitting room next to me was having a breakdown because the size 6 didn't fit her. Before that, it hadn't really bothered me that I was bigger than other people.
10. I've tried on pretty much all of the clothes at work. Even the One Size Fits All leggings. I got them on. I feel good about that.
11. I've never been able to sleep well. Even as a child. In day care, I once threw a hellacious tantrum about nap time and accidentally kicked the teacher in the head. I had to bring her flowers the next day and apologise. My dad taught me how to pretend I'm sleeping.
12. I was 14 before I tried non-diet soda. My father had a Coke in a glass bottle, and he gave me one to drink. I was mezmerised.
13. So then in college, I would double-fist Mountain Dew when I had a lot of stuff to do, which was always, since I was a double major. One diet, one regular.
14. I also made a really heady concoction of Tang and Malibu rum, which I drank regularly in my Creative Writing classes.
15. I once broke my foot while making Easy Mac. I was dancing to Alanis Morisette's "Uninvited," and I took this big leap and landed on the side of my foot. I just laid there in a heap until all the pasta was done.
16. I was 7 the first time I rode a horse. My father had a client whose daughters were pros in the Appaloosa world, and they invited me up for a ride. It was super muddy, and I was wearing khakis and loafers like a total chode.
17. But I didn't get riding lessons until later that year. We moved an hour away from home, and I got riding lessons as bribery. My first lesson, I closed my eyes at a trot (I was seven, ok?), and I remember thinking "This is all I ever wanted."
18. I bought my first horse when I was in college. With my own money. $4,000. It was a really bad plan, logically speaking, but Magnum just had to be my horse. We loved each other, and all of his other prospective buyers kept falling through, so it just HAD to be.
(bonus fact- I've bought myself 5 horses total. My parents only know of 3.)
19. Since I was about 15, I've just wanted to be a hermit, living in the woods on a hill in South East Ohio, with my goat in my front yard.
20. My dream goat was named Buttercup.
21. My actual goat was named Petunia, because she just wasn't a Buttercup. She'd come running to you when you yelled "PET-PET!!!"
22. I love getting pedicures. It's probably the only princess-y thing I do.
23. I drink a lot of tepid tap water. I've only recently started putting ice in my water at work because the stuff from the tap tastes awful.
24. I named my first kidney stone "Brian Jones" because he was the first 'Stone to pass.
25. I find Numbers Stations soothing. I'll listen to them at work when I'm working on a difficult project.
26. I am exceptionally good at dicking around when I don't care. When handed a task that bores me, I'll figure out how long it takes, determine what the next steps will be, then fuck around until it needs to be done.
27. On the contrary, I will pour 14+ hours of dedicated heart and soul into something that I'm truly invested in.
28. I hate it when people whine and say they can't do something. I hate it even more when I'm the one doing the whining.
29. I make myself do a lot of things that make me uncomfortable so I can be a bad ass, but I still have solid lines in the ground. Most of them involve heights: ziplining, parachuting, hot air balloons, bungee, etc.
30. The first time I ever had a Frappuchino was this year. It was a grande S'mores.
31. I truly love big leafy veggie salads with a lot of yum.
32. My father made me play golf and baseball as a kid. I'm really good at throwing things.
33. My brother and I smugly think we're pretty impressively intelligent. Think Mycroft and Sherlock. We don't actually think we're better than you, though. We have the same dad, and thus the same deeply-rooted inferiority complex that comes with being told constantly that you're crap.
34. I hate bright lights. Give me the dim.
35. One of my anxiety tricks is to play Mah Jongg solitaire on my phone. I have it set to the Halloween tiles for giggles.
36. My Nanaw introduced me to the paranormal when I was about 5 or 6, and one of the saddest things for me is that she hasn't given me any signs since she passed. Yodie got one, though.
37. I know the lyrics to an impressive number of 90s rap songs. And then I perform them in my best Edith Bunker impression. "Archie, I like it raaaawwwww!"
38. Somewhere, there is a folder full of drawings I did of monsters during HR meetings. When I left, I was supposed to destroy or catalogue all of my notes, but I was so attached to my monsters, that I cut them out and put them in a folder. My boss supported this decision.
So there ya go. Any questions?
1. I've lived in Ohio my entire life. I don't entirely expect that to change.
2. I really don't like hot yoga, but I make myself do it because it's supposed to be really good for your body. I like how I feel afterwards.
3. Since I'm alone in the office, I usually make some time to dance or sing.
4. I think I would kill it on Lip Synch Battle.
5. I've always wanted to be a drag queen. Even before I was with the drag troupe, I thought it would be so much fun.
6. When I was in high school, I thought I was really talented at drawing and painting, and I wanted to do that forever and ever. Eventually, through not-so-subtle hints of friends, family, and teachers, I got the hint that I'm not that super amazing, and I should probably drop it.
7. I love autumn clothes. I get really excited when I can break out the hoodies and the head-sweaters.
8. Speaking of sweaters, I've had my favourite sweater since I was in 8th grade. I bought it off the men's clearance rack at Gap, and my mother was mortified that I was so huge.
9. My complicated relationship with food started when I was in 6th grade. I was trying on a pair of shorts that were a size 9 and too small, and the girl in the fitting room next to me was having a breakdown because the size 6 didn't fit her. Before that, it hadn't really bothered me that I was bigger than other people.
10. I've tried on pretty much all of the clothes at work. Even the One Size Fits All leggings. I got them on. I feel good about that.
11. I've never been able to sleep well. Even as a child. In day care, I once threw a hellacious tantrum about nap time and accidentally kicked the teacher in the head. I had to bring her flowers the next day and apologise. My dad taught me how to pretend I'm sleeping.
12. I was 14 before I tried non-diet soda. My father had a Coke in a glass bottle, and he gave me one to drink. I was mezmerised.
13. So then in college, I would double-fist Mountain Dew when I had a lot of stuff to do, which was always, since I was a double major. One diet, one regular.
14. I also made a really heady concoction of Tang and Malibu rum, which I drank regularly in my Creative Writing classes.
15. I once broke my foot while making Easy Mac. I was dancing to Alanis Morisette's "Uninvited," and I took this big leap and landed on the side of my foot. I just laid there in a heap until all the pasta was done.
16. I was 7 the first time I rode a horse. My father had a client whose daughters were pros in the Appaloosa world, and they invited me up for a ride. It was super muddy, and I was wearing khakis and loafers like a total chode.
17. But I didn't get riding lessons until later that year. We moved an hour away from home, and I got riding lessons as bribery. My first lesson, I closed my eyes at a trot (I was seven, ok?), and I remember thinking "This is all I ever wanted."
18. I bought my first horse when I was in college. With my own money. $4,000. It was a really bad plan, logically speaking, but Magnum just had to be my horse. We loved each other, and all of his other prospective buyers kept falling through, so it just HAD to be.
(bonus fact- I've bought myself 5 horses total. My parents only know of 3.)
19. Since I was about 15, I've just wanted to be a hermit, living in the woods on a hill in South East Ohio, with my goat in my front yard.
20. My dream goat was named Buttercup.
21. My actual goat was named Petunia, because she just wasn't a Buttercup. She'd come running to you when you yelled "PET-PET!!!"
22. I love getting pedicures. It's probably the only princess-y thing I do.
23. I drink a lot of tepid tap water. I've only recently started putting ice in my water at work because the stuff from the tap tastes awful.
24. I named my first kidney stone "Brian Jones" because he was the first 'Stone to pass.
25. I find Numbers Stations soothing. I'll listen to them at work when I'm working on a difficult project.
26. I am exceptionally good at dicking around when I don't care. When handed a task that bores me, I'll figure out how long it takes, determine what the next steps will be, then fuck around until it needs to be done.
27. On the contrary, I will pour 14+ hours of dedicated heart and soul into something that I'm truly invested in.
28. I hate it when people whine and say they can't do something. I hate it even more when I'm the one doing the whining.
29. I make myself do a lot of things that make me uncomfortable so I can be a bad ass, but I still have solid lines in the ground. Most of them involve heights: ziplining, parachuting, hot air balloons, bungee, etc.
30. The first time I ever had a Frappuchino was this year. It was a grande S'mores.
31. I truly love big leafy veggie salads with a lot of yum.
32. My father made me play golf and baseball as a kid. I'm really good at throwing things.
33. My brother and I smugly think we're pretty impressively intelligent. Think Mycroft and Sherlock. We don't actually think we're better than you, though. We have the same dad, and thus the same deeply-rooted inferiority complex that comes with being told constantly that you're crap.
34. I hate bright lights. Give me the dim.
35. One of my anxiety tricks is to play Mah Jongg solitaire on my phone. I have it set to the Halloween tiles for giggles.
36. My Nanaw introduced me to the paranormal when I was about 5 or 6, and one of the saddest things for me is that she hasn't given me any signs since she passed. Yodie got one, though.
37. I know the lyrics to an impressive number of 90s rap songs. And then I perform them in my best Edith Bunker impression. "Archie, I like it raaaawwwww!"
38. Somewhere, there is a folder full of drawings I did of monsters during HR meetings. When I left, I was supposed to destroy or catalogue all of my notes, but I was so attached to my monsters, that I cut them out and put them in a folder. My boss supported this decision.
So there ya go. Any questions?