A Poem--Really, I used to write these things...
In the midst of all of the drama that this past week entailed--I found myself to write. I have been fighting the brokenness that still rests inside of me.
I am doing emotional back-flips…
Doing magic tricks, daredevil tricks…
Diving through flaming hoops…
In someone else’s circus…
I am the clown…
who gets pied in the face…
The one who has to be pulled from the car,
Because he is afraid of the audience…
I am doing emotional back-flips…
Doing magic tricks, daredevil tricks…
Diving through flaming hoops…
In someone else’s circus…
I am swinging on the trapeze…
Alone, above the world below,
Looking for my partner to grab on to…
The ground below calls silently calls for my fall
The net that was there to catch me…to save me…
Is gone.
I am turning emotional back-flips
Doing magic tricks, daredevil tricks…
Diving through flaming hoops…
In someone else’s circus…
I am the clown…
I am the fool that flings himself to the ground-
Prat fall-after prat fall-after…
This is the dance that I dance…
I am the clown-
When I smile, a twinge of regret,
A pain of darkness and injury...
I am doing emotional back-flips
Turning flips in someone else's circus…
I am the clown too afraid to exit the car,
I am the cannon that won't fire,
The trapeze artist whose net has broken...
I am turning emotional back-flips,
I am the ringmaster turned tiger-bait...
the trainer turned scratching post.
I want to cry, but can't-
Scream but have no voice.
I am turning emotional back-flips
In someone else's divine circus...
Ernest Lewis, Jr.
Started: Early, 2005-Finished: March 4, 2008
I am doing emotional back-flips…
Doing magic tricks, daredevil tricks…
Diving through flaming hoops…
In someone else’s circus…
I am the clown…
who gets pied in the face…
The one who has to be pulled from the car,
Because he is afraid of the audience…
I am doing emotional back-flips…
Doing magic tricks, daredevil tricks…
Diving through flaming hoops…
In someone else’s circus…
I am swinging on the trapeze…
Alone, above the world below,
Looking for my partner to grab on to…
The ground below calls silently calls for my fall
The net that was there to catch me…to save me…
Is gone.
I am turning emotional back-flips
Doing magic tricks, daredevil tricks…
Diving through flaming hoops…
In someone else’s circus…
I am the clown…
I am the fool that flings himself to the ground-
Prat fall-after prat fall-after…
This is the dance that I dance…
I am the clown-
When I smile, a twinge of regret,
A pain of darkness and injury...
I am doing emotional back-flips
Turning flips in someone else's circus…
I am the clown too afraid to exit the car,
I am the cannon that won't fire,
The trapeze artist whose net has broken...
I am turning emotional back-flips,
I am the ringmaster turned tiger-bait...
the trainer turned scratching post.
I want to cry, but can't-
Scream but have no voice.
I am turning emotional back-flips
In someone else's divine circus...
Ernest Lewis, Jr.
Started: Early, 2005-Finished: March 4, 2008