hypocrisy, cheating and marriage
imagine my shock, well not shock. more like surprise when i just happened to glance in the way of my dad, who is on the net, and finds him glancing at... yeah. more or less pornographic material. and its not you know the kind you would not feel guilty about. but the kind you would feel guilty about. okay. let's just say said pornographic materials are real people that you can actually talk to. dude. i have no problem with looking pornographic materials. who am i kidding right? to say i am innocent is stretching it. what i have a problem is.. he is emotionally cheating on my mom. despite it having the label emotionally, cheating to me is cheating. and it could really translate to physical cheating. sex. affair or whatever you call it. honestly, i thought they are too old for this. and its been done. by both of them even. i am not as daft and dumb as everyone would call me. i know how to be inquisitive and out two and two together.
just that. they are married to each other. and i thought that the whole point of getting married is to stay loyal and whatnot to each other. honestly, i just think its bull crap. the whole concept of the marriage being out of love, you have already compromised it, dear parents. i may not be the model daughter nor the model person ever but i do know how to be loyal and how to not betray the trust given to me. most times anyway. i for one do not need a piece of paper to instill fidelity on me. respect is enough. if i respect you then you warrants not to be betrayed. and i do know that there is no love in your marriage. love requires affection and intimacy. you, dear parents, do not have the slightest trace of that. believe me. i thought that it was normal for parents to be that distant, you fooled me. oh well.
and you claim to be devout catholics. i am not judging again, i need to emphasize this because... i have many habits too that warrants judging but that's besides the point. i just hate hypocrisy especially when it is around me. and really. homophobes? god. i just can't even sometimes. i really do wonder if there was perhaps some kind of mess because i honestly, do not belong in the family. i am weird. a bisexual. a cynic sometimes closet romantic. a person who rationalizes everything. i am sarcastic. i am snarky. and i procrastinate. i see the future. that one is true. i swear. but seriously. even though i see the future, i rely on logic and reason most of the time. and i am just not a catholic per se. i don't believe in the religion anymore. and maybe i will lose some friends and even family on this alone even if they don't kick me out for being bisexual. i believe that you and only you can be blame for your actions. and only you and you alone can make the decision on your future. not them but you.
and so the point of this rant. i do not know. i just need to let some steam off. its honestly driving me crazy. and i just want to say that even though it turned out like this, yeah. i still do not want to get married. its... my decision. i do not blame my parents for me being like this. its my reason and logic. if a piece of paper and GOD does not stop people from cheating, why bother?
yeah. that's the cynic in me. please remind me why i am a cynic dear parents. #sarcasm #defensemechanism
oh and please prove me wrong alexander. just this once i want to be wrong about everything. but i still do not want to get married. yeah. taking the meme forever alone to a whole new level. i love me being like this.
lj friends. sorry for being like this.
p.s. i am working on a fic. of course its angsty.
just that. they are married to each other. and i thought that the whole point of getting married is to stay loyal and whatnot to each other. honestly, i just think its bull crap. the whole concept of the marriage being out of love, you have already compromised it, dear parents. i may not be the model daughter nor the model person ever but i do know how to be loyal and how to not betray the trust given to me. most times anyway. i for one do not need a piece of paper to instill fidelity on me. respect is enough. if i respect you then you warrants not to be betrayed. and i do know that there is no love in your marriage. love requires affection and intimacy. you, dear parents, do not have the slightest trace of that. believe me. i thought that it was normal for parents to be that distant, you fooled me. oh well.
and you claim to be devout catholics. i am not judging again, i need to emphasize this because... i have many habits too that warrants judging but that's besides the point. i just hate hypocrisy especially when it is around me. and really. homophobes? god. i just can't even sometimes. i really do wonder if there was perhaps some kind of mess because i honestly, do not belong in the family. i am weird. a bisexual. a cynic sometimes closet romantic. a person who rationalizes everything. i am sarcastic. i am snarky. and i procrastinate. i see the future. that one is true. i swear. but seriously. even though i see the future, i rely on logic and reason most of the time. and i am just not a catholic per se. i don't believe in the religion anymore. and maybe i will lose some friends and even family on this alone even if they don't kick me out for being bisexual. i believe that you and only you can be blame for your actions. and only you and you alone can make the decision on your future. not them but you.
and so the point of this rant. i do not know. i just need to let some steam off. its honestly driving me crazy. and i just want to say that even though it turned out like this, yeah. i still do not want to get married. its... my decision. i do not blame my parents for me being like this. its my reason and logic. if a piece of paper and GOD does not stop people from cheating, why bother?
yeah. that's the cynic in me. please remind me why i am a cynic dear parents. #sarcasm #defensemechanism
oh and please prove me wrong alexander. just this once i want to be wrong about everything. but i still do not want to get married. yeah. taking the meme forever alone to a whole new level. i love me being like this.
lj friends. sorry for being like this.
p.s. i am working on a fic. of course its angsty.