My mind is changing
So last night I had a really deep conversation with my friend Jeff(the guy I like with weird situations). We sat in my car for over 2hours just talking and I came to realize something.
I asked him why he was retarded and why he seems so stand offish with me as if he was scared of me, and his answer was along the lines with his past heart breaks. I then told him, I undrstood that but I to have been through hell and I still try. Then the question came, he asked my what my "HELL" was like.(most of you know)
I had nothing nice to say about the x-boyfriend from hell. I see him like two different people, one that was so sweet to me and the other that caused me the most pain in my life. But I realize he is one person and the sweet one died long ago and will never resurect. Why do I think of him still? I don't know but thats going to change. Yes, my memories of the happiest moments are of him and yes, my most miserable moments are of and because of him. I will not wonder or ask of him, that is gone in me, (from now on) It's over and my heart needs to finally deal with it.
I never want to be with someone that will ever hurt me in every way they could, I will not let myself fall apart becasue of my love for someone so dangerous to my existence. I am a strong woman and I will not change that to make any MAN happy, never again. My goal first is for me to be happy.
Boomyeah!
I asked him why he was retarded and why he seems so stand offish with me as if he was scared of me, and his answer was along the lines with his past heart breaks. I then told him, I undrstood that but I to have been through hell and I still try. Then the question came, he asked my what my "HELL" was like.(most of you know)
I had nothing nice to say about the x-boyfriend from hell. I see him like two different people, one that was so sweet to me and the other that caused me the most pain in my life. But I realize he is one person and the sweet one died long ago and will never resurect. Why do I think of him still? I don't know but thats going to change. Yes, my memories of the happiest moments are of him and yes, my most miserable moments are of and because of him. I will not wonder or ask of him, that is gone in me, (from now on) It's over and my heart needs to finally deal with it.
I never want to be with someone that will ever hurt me in every way they could, I will not let myself fall apart becasue of my love for someone so dangerous to my existence. I am a strong woman and I will not change that to make any MAN happy, never again. My goal first is for me to be happy.
Boomyeah!