so much for thinking everything was fine.
things started out pretty smoothly in the morning. I got to school on time for once, got to meet up with friends, did the normal hangout thing before going to homeroom.
then after school, again a couple friends asked to hang out tomorrow, and of course I already have something planned but I totally forgot about it, so now they think that they're hanging out with me. I sweep it aside and not let it get to me.
after school I had to go make up a quiz, and we also had a new Dungeons & Dragons campaign meeting so I went down to the cafeteria as usual, and after much indecision I decided to change my character. didn't get much done but still had plenty of fun. got bored on some occasions, and then I wonder why I get bored so easily, because lately I've been getting bored with everyone. but I don't let that get to me either.
I get in the car, and realize I have to stop to get gas. nearly get my ass to Mobil on Liberia Avenue, and the pump was a pain in the ass since I hadn't used it before. was afraid that it was going to spill out like the first time I practiced pumping gas at another gas station (BTW, that gas station got new pumps now). it of course didn't, but then I had to get the pump back onto the handle, and it wasn't going in at first (plus the machine was still saying "Pumping gas") so I thought I had screwed up. but I finally got it back on the handle, and it said the typical "go pay at the cashier." so I go up and pay, sigh loudly like I usually do and get inside my car. then I drive.
[edit, FINALLY]
while I drove, more things started to get to me--like whether or not I should of stopped at a certain light or sped faster, why the hell the car next to me is so close, etc. I started worrying on whether or not something was wrong with me and what stuff was going to happen tomorrow during school. it felt like my mind was conflicting with myself or something, and it got me so worn down that I was only half-hearing the music and was barely paying attention to my driving. I tried to focus on driving a little bit more but I still felt like my mind was pushing me down. on various occasions when I was only minutes from my house I felt choked up and was about to cry. I ended up having a few tears run down when I reached my house.
I shrugged it off yet again, went into the house, and mom was surprised I had come home so early because I had forgotten to call her after school like I told her I would. I went into my room, because my brother threw licorice at me, my mom had closed her bedroom door, and I didn't feel well anyway. I heard them talking and it just made it worse, despite them having a well-rounded conversation (uh, yeah, they usually DON'T). so I ended up crying again. I choked up and closed the door, fell on my bed, and proceeded to cry and wail. course mom came in all concerned, and my brother called me a crybaby and left the house. it took me fifteen minutes or so to actually regain some stability (it's called crying spells, for people who don't know. I've had them for years). this one was pretty bad, though, because I didn't recognize my surroundings very well, plus I was dizzy.
decided to go online and see who was on, and then decided to go on here instead...but then a friend called me up on my cell and I just talked about it then. afterwards I felt really better. :>
I have to go do some chores now, so I shall leave it here. adios.
then after school, again a couple friends asked to hang out tomorrow, and of course I already have something planned but I totally forgot about it, so now they think that they're hanging out with me. I sweep it aside and not let it get to me.
after school I had to go make up a quiz, and we also had a new Dungeons & Dragons campaign meeting so I went down to the cafeteria as usual, and after much indecision I decided to change my character. didn't get much done but still had plenty of fun. got bored on some occasions, and then I wonder why I get bored so easily, because lately I've been getting bored with everyone. but I don't let that get to me either.
I get in the car, and realize I have to stop to get gas. nearly get my ass to Mobil on Liberia Avenue, and the pump was a pain in the ass since I hadn't used it before. was afraid that it was going to spill out like the first time I practiced pumping gas at another gas station (BTW, that gas station got new pumps now). it of course didn't, but then I had to get the pump back onto the handle, and it wasn't going in at first (plus the machine was still saying "Pumping gas") so I thought I had screwed up. but I finally got it back on the handle, and it said the typical "go pay at the cashier." so I go up and pay, sigh loudly like I usually do and get inside my car. then I drive.
[edit, FINALLY]
while I drove, more things started to get to me--like whether or not I should of stopped at a certain light or sped faster, why the hell the car next to me is so close, etc. I started worrying on whether or not something was wrong with me and what stuff was going to happen tomorrow during school. it felt like my mind was conflicting with myself or something, and it got me so worn down that I was only half-hearing the music and was barely paying attention to my driving. I tried to focus on driving a little bit more but I still felt like my mind was pushing me down. on various occasions when I was only minutes from my house I felt choked up and was about to cry. I ended up having a few tears run down when I reached my house.
I shrugged it off yet again, went into the house, and mom was surprised I had come home so early because I had forgotten to call her after school like I told her I would. I went into my room, because my brother threw licorice at me, my mom had closed her bedroom door, and I didn't feel well anyway. I heard them talking and it just made it worse, despite them having a well-rounded conversation (uh, yeah, they usually DON'T). so I ended up crying again. I choked up and closed the door, fell on my bed, and proceeded to cry and wail. course mom came in all concerned, and my brother called me a crybaby and left the house. it took me fifteen minutes or so to actually regain some stability (it's called crying spells, for people who don't know. I've had them for years). this one was pretty bad, though, because I didn't recognize my surroundings very well, plus I was dizzy.
decided to go online and see who was on, and then decided to go on here instead...but then a friend called me up on my cell and I just talked about it then. afterwards I felt really better. :>
I have to go do some chores now, so I shall leave it here. adios.