Abby's Birth Story
So, now that my daughter is a few days shy of 4 months and is finally sleeping through the night -- which means I am too -- I have finally found the time and energy to write out my labor and birth experience. I hope I remember all the details...
On February 26th my husband drove me to the First Fighter Wing Hospital at Langley Air Force Base, where I was scheduled to have labor induced at 6pm. I remember being excited because I would finally get to see and hold my baby daughter, but I also remember shaking in terror. This being my first pregnancy, I obviously had no idea what to expect. All I knew was that some pain was going to be involved and pain is one of the things I fear the most.
Matt held my hand as we walked into the hospital and made our way up to Labor and Delivery. As soon as I gave my name at the nurses station we were whisked off to Delivery Room #4 (of 5 rooms total.) I got into my hospital gown and gave my wedding rings and watch to my husband to keep safe for me. I got comfortable in the bed and a few minutes later a nurse came in to get my IV going. (Since I had Gestational Diabetes and tested positive for Strep B I unfortunately wasn't able to opt out of the IV.) Then she hooked me up to the fetal monitor and, after some adjusting, the familiar sound of Abby's heartbeat filled the room.
Matt and I hung out for a while and waited for the doctor to see me. After a quick pelvic exam, Dr. Dimofte determined that my cervix was still very high and not dilated at all. She explained that she couldn't start the Pitocin until I was dilated about 4 cm. To get me to that point there were three options. The first, which they started with, was a strip of what looked like paper that was placed at the outside of my cervix to remain for 12 hours. It apparently had something on it that would cause me to begin dilating. I wasn't allowed to eat at all during this time. After 12 hours and a very uncomfortable, sleepless night, I was checked again -- only to find that I hadn't dilated at all. Instead of starting the process over again, my doctor tried option #2. This was a pill that was disolved into a small bottle of water and was supposed to have the same effect as the previous method. Every two hours a nurse would come in and give me a tablespoon or two. I was having some pain and cramping and they gave me something to help with it. It made me throw up a couple hours later. After another 12 hours of this I still had only dilated to 1.5 cm. At this point I got a chance to get up, walk around and take a shower. Matt asked for clean sheets to be put on my bed and when I got back in I felt a lot better.
Still, I was exhausted and in pain -- Capt. Norcross, the midwife who checked me during the day, explained that my cervix was twisted around and was facing the wrong direction. She said it wouldn't complicate a vaginal delivery, but it made for some incredibly painful pelvic exams. By about 10pm on the 27th she decided to try option #3: a Foley Catheter. This is a balloon that gets inserted into the partially dilated cervix. Over the course of several hours the balloon slowly inflates, causing further dilation. With my cervix all twisted, getting this thing in place was almost as painful as labor itself. It took two tries but Capt. Norcross finally got it. One of the nurses gave me something else to help with the pain not the same stuff as before. It was the craziest thing... I actually felt it working seconds after she injected it into my IV. I got a little bit of sleep, but kept waking up because the fluids they were pumping into me made me have to pee a lot. At 4 am I called a nurse to disconnect me from all the machines so that I could make another trip to the bathroom. The moment I sat down to pee I felt the balloon fall out. I remember thinking to myself that maybe we were finally getting somewhere! I had been in the hospital for 34 hours at this point and was feeling really discouraged.
A few minutes later, Dr. Dimofte came to check me and announced that I was 3.5 cm and could finally start the Pitocin. She told me that as soon as I got to 4cm I could have an epidural if I wanted it. I told her right then that I definitely did! I went to sleep for a little while but at 6am on the 28th I was awakened by the burly, 6 ft tall, redheaded Dr. Alexander, the anesthesiologist who was to administer my epidural. He told me I was the first one of the day as he switched the lights on and wheeled a little cart into the room. I was so nervous... just the thought of a tube being inserted into my spine gave me the creeps. I had already begun contracting though and the pain of that was greater than my fear.
Dr. Alexander had me sit up on the edge of my bed and told me to hug a pillow. Then he had Matt (my sweetheart husband who stayed with me every minute thus far) stand in front of me and hold me hunched over. I can't even begin to say how comforting it was to have his arms around me right then and there. I felt the Dr. swab iodine on my back as he explained that he would be giving me a local anesthetic before he gave me the epidural. The shot in my spine hurt a lot and I remember the F word coming out of my mouth, much to the shock of my favorite nurse, Ms. Lopez. Then, quickly, Dr. Alexander inserted the epidural into my spine. I didn't feel a thing until he gave me a test dose to make sure the tube was in the right place. It wasn't. My ears began to ring and I felt light headed. He yanked the tube out right away, but my body began to convulse uncontrollably. It was the scariest thing to be unabe to control my limbs as they shook. I think it freaked Matt out too. After things calmed down a bit and I had a chance to take a few breaths, we started all over. This time everything went perfectly and I settled comfortably back into my bed. Dr. Alexander gave me what I referred to as "the magic button." Every twenty minutes I could push it to give myself a little extra burst of numbness. It was a funny feeling. It reminded me of getting a shot of novacaine at the Dentist. I could feel my legs with my hand but my legs couldn't feel my hand.
I was so exhausted and the epidural helped so much that I finally got some rest off and on throughout the day. Still, I hadn't eaten since the 26th so my energy never came back completely. I labored all day long on the 28th, progressing slowly but surely. At 8 pm I was about 8 cm when the fire alarm went off in the building. Dr. Bayer, who had come in for the night shift, came into my room to tell me that I didn't have to evacuate yet. He said that if we did that I would be put into an ambulance and taken over to the gym on post to deliver there. I remember thinking that there was NO WAY IN HELL that they were going to move me! Fortunately for me the fire alarm shut off and the Dr. came to tell me that all was clear and there was no fire in the building. Talk about relief...
At 10 pm Dr. Bayer checked me and said that I was 10 cm, and could start pushing. I remember thinking to myself that there were still two hours left in the day and that I could probably avoid a leap baby if all went quickly. But, as with just about everything else involved with my delivery, things definitely did not move quickly. I didn't want Abby to be born on Leap Day because I thought it would be hard to explain to her as a child why her actual birthdate only came around once every four years.
Ms. Lopez was back on duty that night and was at my side to coach me with my pushing. She flattened the bed out and told Matt how to hold my left leg, while she held my right one. Then she turned the epidural off, which I was not happy about. She explained that I needed to feel the contractions in order to know when to push. My contractions were coming stronger and much closer together and before I knew it I was feeling them in all their fierceness. Every contraction allowed me to get in three or four good, strong pushes. It amazed me that it actually felt kind of good to push. It seemed to sort of ease the pressure a bit -- and there was A LOT of pressure. After the first hour I felt as if I had made no progress, but Matt and Ms. Lopez assured me that I was definitely getting there and that Dr. Bayer would be in soon to help me finish. Then another nurse came into the room and told us that Dr. Bayer had just delivered a baby in the room next door and was stitching that mother up. While I waited for him, he asked that I stop pushing. I looked up at Matt and Ms. Lopez in disbelief! I had been stuck in that bed for 53 hours at that point. The last thing I wanted to do was NOT push! The next hour was seriously the worst sixty minutes I've spent in my entire life.
I was dazed, exhausted, hurting and scared. Every time I felt a contraction coming on I gripped Matt's and Ms. Lopez's hands and squeezed with all my might as I literally fought my body to not push. I would never have thought it would be so difficult, but when every muscle in your body is screaming at you to push as hard as you can, it's damn near impossible to control it. At several points there was nothing I could do but push anyway. In hindsight, I wish I had said to hell with waiting for the doctor... there had to be someone else in that hospital who could catch a baby!
After an hour Dr. Bayer walked into the room and I was so angry that I just about bit his head off! But he said I could start pushing again, so I focused my energy on that. At one point I remember crying and saying to Matt that I didn't think I could do this. He gave me a sip of cool water, squeezed my hand and told me that yes I could. I honestly don't think I could have gotten through the delivery without him. After another half hour of pushing Dr. Bayer asked if I wanted a little help. I think I said something to the effect of YES!!! ANYTHING TO GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!!!! As he was preparing to do a vaccum extraction I continued to push. I don't know if it was me or Abby, but suddenly we both knew it was going to happen without assistance. I pushed so hard that I could feel the veins in my head throbbing. The pressure intensified and suddenly I felt this sharp, intense stinging pain as I tore. I don't remember the words that were coming out of my mouth but I do know I was making quite a bit of noise. My next instinct was to stop pushing because of the pain but I knew that the pain was the gateway to finally being done. I pushed really, really hard one last time as I felt Abby's head and shoulders then the rest of her slide out. It was 12:57 am on February 29th when I collapsed back on the bed, relieved of all the pressure and a good portion of the pain.
The next thing I heard was Abby's cry and Matt saying, "Erin!!! Look! LOOK!!!" Dr. Bayer had laid Abby on my belly and she was staring up at my face as the nurses suctioned out her mouth and rubbed her body with towels. I looked at her and felt as though I recognized her. Even covered in all that goo, she was still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. A nurse took her over to the warming table in the corner of the room to give her an examination to make sure everything was ok. Matt kissed me and held my hand as Dr. Bayer began to stitch me up. Compared to the pain of delivery, being stitched up was a picnic. I sent Matt out to the waiting room to get my parents who had been waiting anxiously the whole time I was pushing. As soon as I delivered the placenta (and splattered blood all over Dr. Bayer -- haha!) they handed Abby back to me, all wrapped up in a little blanket. Matt brought my parents in and as I held my brand new daughter, tears began to fill my eyes. My dad snapped a picture -- it's the one in my user icon.
It's really amazing to me that, in spite of my riduculously long labor experience, I can't wait to have another baby. All the pain of labor, the discomfort of recovery, all the crazy hormonal outbursts and baby blues, the postpartum depression... all of it has been mostly forgotten because it seems so inconsequential compared to the little baby I hold in my arms. She is the most wonderful, most beautiful little miracle and I am so in love!
On February 26th my husband drove me to the First Fighter Wing Hospital at Langley Air Force Base, where I was scheduled to have labor induced at 6pm. I remember being excited because I would finally get to see and hold my baby daughter, but I also remember shaking in terror. This being my first pregnancy, I obviously had no idea what to expect. All I knew was that some pain was going to be involved and pain is one of the things I fear the most.
Matt held my hand as we walked into the hospital and made our way up to Labor and Delivery. As soon as I gave my name at the nurses station we were whisked off to Delivery Room #4 (of 5 rooms total.) I got into my hospital gown and gave my wedding rings and watch to my husband to keep safe for me. I got comfortable in the bed and a few minutes later a nurse came in to get my IV going. (Since I had Gestational Diabetes and tested positive for Strep B I unfortunately wasn't able to opt out of the IV.) Then she hooked me up to the fetal monitor and, after some adjusting, the familiar sound of Abby's heartbeat filled the room.
Matt and I hung out for a while and waited for the doctor to see me. After a quick pelvic exam, Dr. Dimofte determined that my cervix was still very high and not dilated at all. She explained that she couldn't start the Pitocin until I was dilated about 4 cm. To get me to that point there were three options. The first, which they started with, was a strip of what looked like paper that was placed at the outside of my cervix to remain for 12 hours. It apparently had something on it that would cause me to begin dilating. I wasn't allowed to eat at all during this time. After 12 hours and a very uncomfortable, sleepless night, I was checked again -- only to find that I hadn't dilated at all. Instead of starting the process over again, my doctor tried option #2. This was a pill that was disolved into a small bottle of water and was supposed to have the same effect as the previous method. Every two hours a nurse would come in and give me a tablespoon or two. I was having some pain and cramping and they gave me something to help with it. It made me throw up a couple hours later. After another 12 hours of this I still had only dilated to 1.5 cm. At this point I got a chance to get up, walk around and take a shower. Matt asked for clean sheets to be put on my bed and when I got back in I felt a lot better.
Still, I was exhausted and in pain -- Capt. Norcross, the midwife who checked me during the day, explained that my cervix was twisted around and was facing the wrong direction. She said it wouldn't complicate a vaginal delivery, but it made for some incredibly painful pelvic exams. By about 10pm on the 27th she decided to try option #3: a Foley Catheter. This is a balloon that gets inserted into the partially dilated cervix. Over the course of several hours the balloon slowly inflates, causing further dilation. With my cervix all twisted, getting this thing in place was almost as painful as labor itself. It took two tries but Capt. Norcross finally got it. One of the nurses gave me something else to help with the pain not the same stuff as before. It was the craziest thing... I actually felt it working seconds after she injected it into my IV. I got a little bit of sleep, but kept waking up because the fluids they were pumping into me made me have to pee a lot. At 4 am I called a nurse to disconnect me from all the machines so that I could make another trip to the bathroom. The moment I sat down to pee I felt the balloon fall out. I remember thinking to myself that maybe we were finally getting somewhere! I had been in the hospital for 34 hours at this point and was feeling really discouraged.
A few minutes later, Dr. Dimofte came to check me and announced that I was 3.5 cm and could finally start the Pitocin. She told me that as soon as I got to 4cm I could have an epidural if I wanted it. I told her right then that I definitely did! I went to sleep for a little while but at 6am on the 28th I was awakened by the burly, 6 ft tall, redheaded Dr. Alexander, the anesthesiologist who was to administer my epidural. He told me I was the first one of the day as he switched the lights on and wheeled a little cart into the room. I was so nervous... just the thought of a tube being inserted into my spine gave me the creeps. I had already begun contracting though and the pain of that was greater than my fear.
Dr. Alexander had me sit up on the edge of my bed and told me to hug a pillow. Then he had Matt (my sweetheart husband who stayed with me every minute thus far) stand in front of me and hold me hunched over. I can't even begin to say how comforting it was to have his arms around me right then and there. I felt the Dr. swab iodine on my back as he explained that he would be giving me a local anesthetic before he gave me the epidural. The shot in my spine hurt a lot and I remember the F word coming out of my mouth, much to the shock of my favorite nurse, Ms. Lopez. Then, quickly, Dr. Alexander inserted the epidural into my spine. I didn't feel a thing until he gave me a test dose to make sure the tube was in the right place. It wasn't. My ears began to ring and I felt light headed. He yanked the tube out right away, but my body began to convulse uncontrollably. It was the scariest thing to be unabe to control my limbs as they shook. I think it freaked Matt out too. After things calmed down a bit and I had a chance to take a few breaths, we started all over. This time everything went perfectly and I settled comfortably back into my bed. Dr. Alexander gave me what I referred to as "the magic button." Every twenty minutes I could push it to give myself a little extra burst of numbness. It was a funny feeling. It reminded me of getting a shot of novacaine at the Dentist. I could feel my legs with my hand but my legs couldn't feel my hand.
I was so exhausted and the epidural helped so much that I finally got some rest off and on throughout the day. Still, I hadn't eaten since the 26th so my energy never came back completely. I labored all day long on the 28th, progressing slowly but surely. At 8 pm I was about 8 cm when the fire alarm went off in the building. Dr. Bayer, who had come in for the night shift, came into my room to tell me that I didn't have to evacuate yet. He said that if we did that I would be put into an ambulance and taken over to the gym on post to deliver there. I remember thinking that there was NO WAY IN HELL that they were going to move me! Fortunately for me the fire alarm shut off and the Dr. came to tell me that all was clear and there was no fire in the building. Talk about relief...
At 10 pm Dr. Bayer checked me and said that I was 10 cm, and could start pushing. I remember thinking to myself that there were still two hours left in the day and that I could probably avoid a leap baby if all went quickly. But, as with just about everything else involved with my delivery, things definitely did not move quickly. I didn't want Abby to be born on Leap Day because I thought it would be hard to explain to her as a child why her actual birthdate only came around once every four years.
Ms. Lopez was back on duty that night and was at my side to coach me with my pushing. She flattened the bed out and told Matt how to hold my left leg, while she held my right one. Then she turned the epidural off, which I was not happy about. She explained that I needed to feel the contractions in order to know when to push. My contractions were coming stronger and much closer together and before I knew it I was feeling them in all their fierceness. Every contraction allowed me to get in three or four good, strong pushes. It amazed me that it actually felt kind of good to push. It seemed to sort of ease the pressure a bit -- and there was A LOT of pressure. After the first hour I felt as if I had made no progress, but Matt and Ms. Lopez assured me that I was definitely getting there and that Dr. Bayer would be in soon to help me finish. Then another nurse came into the room and told us that Dr. Bayer had just delivered a baby in the room next door and was stitching that mother up. While I waited for him, he asked that I stop pushing. I looked up at Matt and Ms. Lopez in disbelief! I had been stuck in that bed for 53 hours at that point. The last thing I wanted to do was NOT push! The next hour was seriously the worst sixty minutes I've spent in my entire life.
I was dazed, exhausted, hurting and scared. Every time I felt a contraction coming on I gripped Matt's and Ms. Lopez's hands and squeezed with all my might as I literally fought my body to not push. I would never have thought it would be so difficult, but when every muscle in your body is screaming at you to push as hard as you can, it's damn near impossible to control it. At several points there was nothing I could do but push anyway. In hindsight, I wish I had said to hell with waiting for the doctor... there had to be someone else in that hospital who could catch a baby!
After an hour Dr. Bayer walked into the room and I was so angry that I just about bit his head off! But he said I could start pushing again, so I focused my energy on that. At one point I remember crying and saying to Matt that I didn't think I could do this. He gave me a sip of cool water, squeezed my hand and told me that yes I could. I honestly don't think I could have gotten through the delivery without him. After another half hour of pushing Dr. Bayer asked if I wanted a little help. I think I said something to the effect of YES!!! ANYTHING TO GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!!!! As he was preparing to do a vaccum extraction I continued to push. I don't know if it was me or Abby, but suddenly we both knew it was going to happen without assistance. I pushed so hard that I could feel the veins in my head throbbing. The pressure intensified and suddenly I felt this sharp, intense stinging pain as I tore. I don't remember the words that were coming out of my mouth but I do know I was making quite a bit of noise. My next instinct was to stop pushing because of the pain but I knew that the pain was the gateway to finally being done. I pushed really, really hard one last time as I felt Abby's head and shoulders then the rest of her slide out. It was 12:57 am on February 29th when I collapsed back on the bed, relieved of all the pressure and a good portion of the pain.
The next thing I heard was Abby's cry and Matt saying, "Erin!!! Look! LOOK!!!" Dr. Bayer had laid Abby on my belly and she was staring up at my face as the nurses suctioned out her mouth and rubbed her body with towels. I looked at her and felt as though I recognized her. Even covered in all that goo, she was still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. A nurse took her over to the warming table in the corner of the room to give her an examination to make sure everything was ok. Matt kissed me and held my hand as Dr. Bayer began to stitch me up. Compared to the pain of delivery, being stitched up was a picnic. I sent Matt out to the waiting room to get my parents who had been waiting anxiously the whole time I was pushing. As soon as I delivered the placenta (and splattered blood all over Dr. Bayer -- haha!) they handed Abby back to me, all wrapped up in a little blanket. Matt brought my parents in and as I held my brand new daughter, tears began to fill my eyes. My dad snapped a picture -- it's the one in my user icon.
It's really amazing to me that, in spite of my riduculously long labor experience, I can't wait to have another baby. All the pain of labor, the discomfort of recovery, all the crazy hormonal outbursts and baby blues, the postpartum depression... all of it has been mostly forgotten because it seems so inconsequential compared to the little baby I hold in my arms. She is the most wonderful, most beautiful little miracle and I am so in love!