Nomad feet
It's creeping up again. I think I was in just about the same place this time last year, but so be it. It's wanderlust season, I guess.
I'm not going to leave right now. My current lease is good through July of next year. I'm going to wait that year out before making any major decisions. I'm going to do a few things right this time, though. I'm going to make sure I apply for a DAAD scholarship. If I can get one of those, the money for getting to Germany won't be an issue. There's no tuition and the scholarship would cover a stipend and travel costs for a year. Fortunately, a year is all I need. I'm going to send out for admissions packets, even if I decide not to apply for some reason. It can't hurt.
In terms of running to and not from, Germany is just where I want to be. I talk about finding a 'permanent' position in the US, but I never really mean permanent. I only mean 'permanent enough to give me a decent salary so I can save my money and bail'. Even my computer log-in at work is a reference to me using the job as a springboard. This is a desire that hasn't changed in at least 10 years. I think I fell in love with Germany the first time my family went to visit Melanie, and every time since it's gotten stronger. My semester there during college absolutely sealed it. Berlin felt like home in a way nowhere else has. Philly has come close from time to time, but it's still missing something. I'll never be able to name it, it's just a matter of atmosphere I guess.
I know I wanted to wait until I have my surgery, but the work I have now just isn't going to pay for it in less than 3 years, if then. I don't want to be impatient, but I can't keep this job for 3 years if I want to ever advance my career. Unfortunately, I don't see any other good chances out there for me right now. The market is still flat, and the jobs that are hiring are all personal injury stuff that I'm not cut out for, or financial stuff I'm not qualified for. I'm also a plain old pessimist about the U.S. right now. The way things are going, I just don't think it's going to get better until it's gotten a hell of a lot worse.
There are so many people I love here, and so many events I want to be a part of. I know there are things I will miss, and many things I will want to travel back for, but when people say they have a calling in life, I think this must be what they mean. This is what I've worked for since I was 14 years old. Every time I try to shove it away, it just comes roaring right back.
I'll give myself the year. Then we'll see.
I'm not going to leave right now. My current lease is good through July of next year. I'm going to wait that year out before making any major decisions. I'm going to do a few things right this time, though. I'm going to make sure I apply for a DAAD scholarship. If I can get one of those, the money for getting to Germany won't be an issue. There's no tuition and the scholarship would cover a stipend and travel costs for a year. Fortunately, a year is all I need. I'm going to send out for admissions packets, even if I decide not to apply for some reason. It can't hurt.
In terms of running to and not from, Germany is just where I want to be. I talk about finding a 'permanent' position in the US, but I never really mean permanent. I only mean 'permanent enough to give me a decent salary so I can save my money and bail'. Even my computer log-in at work is a reference to me using the job as a springboard. This is a desire that hasn't changed in at least 10 years. I think I fell in love with Germany the first time my family went to visit Melanie, and every time since it's gotten stronger. My semester there during college absolutely sealed it. Berlin felt like home in a way nowhere else has. Philly has come close from time to time, but it's still missing something. I'll never be able to name it, it's just a matter of atmosphere I guess.
I know I wanted to wait until I have my surgery, but the work I have now just isn't going to pay for it in less than 3 years, if then. I don't want to be impatient, but I can't keep this job for 3 years if I want to ever advance my career. Unfortunately, I don't see any other good chances out there for me right now. The market is still flat, and the jobs that are hiring are all personal injury stuff that I'm not cut out for, or financial stuff I'm not qualified for. I'm also a plain old pessimist about the U.S. right now. The way things are going, I just don't think it's going to get better until it's gotten a hell of a lot worse.
There are so many people I love here, and so many events I want to be a part of. I know there are things I will miss, and many things I will want to travel back for, but when people say they have a calling in life, I think this must be what they mean. This is what I've worked for since I was 14 years old. Every time I try to shove it away, it just comes roaring right back.
I'll give myself the year. Then we'll see.