fertility drugs are EVIL
I had several nightmares last night, only one of which I can remember...
I was raped (Note: this is ONLY A DREAM). The guy found out where I lived and tried to get me. My family came to stay with me and made me close all the blinds and stay indoors--my mom wouldn't even let me take Monster outside to pee, she did it for me... the guy eventually got in the house and found me and started banging my head against a wall or the floor or something. And then I woke up. Or Dan woke me up, that is. I was apparently whimpering and crying out in my sleep and woke him up....
This is due to the steroid I am taking, or so I have heard/read. It also causes restlessness (I wake up a lot during the night), insomnia, weight gain, and nausea...I have to take it with a snack right before I go to bed. I am also having headaches from the Lupron and have been very tired (which could also be a result of the bad nights of sleep and bad dreams). The pharmacist told me that I may experiece totally different side effects from the meds this time around, that they are not the same with every IVF cycle. Interesting. But it makes sense because I didn't have nightmares last time. I offered to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight, but Dan said no way. I think he prefers it if he can comfort me when it happens. I also think, like me, he hopes after a few more days on the drugs, the unpleasant side effects will begin to disappear...
I have definitely put on weight. Which is sort of intentional, and also partly due to stress/depression/emotional eating. It's intentional b/c I figure maybe it will help me get/stay pregnant if I am pleasantly plump and put on a few extra pounds. And my mom says she bets I look exactly the same, but last night I tried to put on one of my favorite winter skirts from Ann Taylor Loft and it DID NOT FIT. I couldn't even squeeze my arse into it...I think normally I would have cried/been devastated and immediately gone on a crash diet, but right now that is impossible. For one, the steriods make me really hungry ALL THE TIME. Secondly, I am on another drug for my PCOS called Avandia, which seems to screw with my blood sugar, so I get shaky/cranky/sweaty every 2 hours or so if I haven't had anything to eat, especially something with some sugar in it. I have also just been indulging because I am so stressed, and I think eating comforts me. I think the Prozac is keeping me more grounded/level headed...the reason didn't curl up and die last night when I peeled the skirt off my thighs. So I put on a pair of black pants instead, my standbys. Oh well. I'll live. I'm 5 feet 8 or 9 and usually hover around 140-145 pounds. My guess is I'm about 8-10 pounds beyond that right now...oy. It could be worse, I suppose. Crack cocaine could be my vice, right?!?!!? hehehehe
Happy Easter, everyone....wish you all would come back soon.
I was raped (Note: this is ONLY A DREAM). The guy found out where I lived and tried to get me. My family came to stay with me and made me close all the blinds and stay indoors--my mom wouldn't even let me take Monster outside to pee, she did it for me... the guy eventually got in the house and found me and started banging my head against a wall or the floor or something. And then I woke up. Or Dan woke me up, that is. I was apparently whimpering and crying out in my sleep and woke him up....
This is due to the steroid I am taking, or so I have heard/read. It also causes restlessness (I wake up a lot during the night), insomnia, weight gain, and nausea...I have to take it with a snack right before I go to bed. I am also having headaches from the Lupron and have been very tired (which could also be a result of the bad nights of sleep and bad dreams). The pharmacist told me that I may experiece totally different side effects from the meds this time around, that they are not the same with every IVF cycle. Interesting. But it makes sense because I didn't have nightmares last time. I offered to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight, but Dan said no way. I think he prefers it if he can comfort me when it happens. I also think, like me, he hopes after a few more days on the drugs, the unpleasant side effects will begin to disappear...
I have definitely put on weight. Which is sort of intentional, and also partly due to stress/depression/emotional eating. It's intentional b/c I figure maybe it will help me get/stay pregnant if I am pleasantly plump and put on a few extra pounds. And my mom says she bets I look exactly the same, but last night I tried to put on one of my favorite winter skirts from Ann Taylor Loft and it DID NOT FIT. I couldn't even squeeze my arse into it...I think normally I would have cried/been devastated and immediately gone on a crash diet, but right now that is impossible. For one, the steriods make me really hungry ALL THE TIME. Secondly, I am on another drug for my PCOS called Avandia, which seems to screw with my blood sugar, so I get shaky/cranky/sweaty every 2 hours or so if I haven't had anything to eat, especially something with some sugar in it. I have also just been indulging because I am so stressed, and I think eating comforts me. I think the Prozac is keeping me more grounded/level headed...the reason didn't curl up and die last night when I peeled the skirt off my thighs. So I put on a pair of black pants instead, my standbys. Oh well. I'll live. I'm 5 feet 8 or 9 and usually hover around 140-145 pounds. My guess is I'm about 8-10 pounds beyond that right now...oy. It could be worse, I suppose. Crack cocaine could be my vice, right?!?!!? hehehehe
Happy Easter, everyone....wish you all would come back soon.