Legend of the Mord'Sith: Deception - Chapter 5
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: M
Word Count: 6480
Author: Mistresserin
Beta: Fifi
Author’s Note: See chapter one for disclaimers. Here’s part 5 of Deception. Once again, thank you so much for your commentsJ
Chapter Five
Ever so slowly, bloodshot green-blue eyes cracked open, only to close the next moment. It seemed her eyelids were too heavy to keep her eyes open. That was all right, she could try again later, she was just too tired now, so she just let herself slip into that lethargic state of barely there awareness, her mind fuzzy and her body exhausted, and sore.
A warm hand slipped under her head, cradling it carefully. Something cold was pressed against her aching lips and the unmistakable tasteless flavor of fresh water slowly invaded her hazy senses. She realized suddenly that she was thirsty and tried to have more of the blissful liquid; the wooden cup moved away from her lips and a voice sounded close by, but she couldn't understand what was being said - she just wanted to drink some more! The cup returned to her lips and, this time, she decided not to let it get away and moved her hand to keep it there, only to have her mind finally acknowledge the pain wracking through her body. Inevitably, unwillingly, a groan of pain escaped through her lips. The voice sounded again and she thought she recognized it, but couldn’t quite place it.
The cool liquid invaded her dry throat once more and she swallowed it down greedily, almost choking. The cup was again removed and her head was lowered and nestled carefully against the pillow. She tried to open her eyes, but she was just too tired to even care about her whereabouts or her pains. All she wanted, all she needed, was to fall back into that blissful darkness that threatened to consume all of her. And she would let it - it was an old friend.
Warmth started in her chest, above her heart, and her lips curled into the tiniest of smiles, she knew that touch.
“Rest…” the softly spoken words tickled her ear and she was helpless to comply.
She knew now where she was; she knew now she was safe.
##
Kahlan was looking outside the window of their paid room, watching as some of the villagers emerged from their homes to start another day of hard labor, the first rays of orange and purple light invading the small village and taking possession of it. Normality was slowly returning to the Midlands after the rift was closed and the banelings vanished back to the Underworld, but the scars that were left behind would take a long time to heal. Entire villages had been wiped off the face of the earth before anyone could do anything about it; entire families had been slaughtered, while others had been ripped apart beyond repair. The Midlands would forever bear the scar of this violation, but it would breathe again. Her sister’s message, however, made her wonder for just how long they would breathe freely without choking yet again.
Her eyes drifted to the bed’s single occupant and rested there for the longest time, just taking every single detail in and committing them to memory. A light fever had disturbed her sleep for a little while and just before dawn she had stirred lightly, no sound escaping her bruised lips. Kahlan had hurried to get some water into her before she could slip back into unconsciousness, careful about not letting her have too much. Even half-unconscious, Cara seemed to disagree and tried to force the cup back in place, only causing herself more pain in the process; pain Kahlan knew she would never let out if she was fully awake.
The light fever had relented a few candle marks before dawn and now she was sound asleep again, her bruised lips slightly parted and dry. Kahlan frowned a little at that and wandered to the nightstand. Taking a clean cloth from the fresh pile the innkeeper had kindly left the night before, she soaked it with water from the jar and pressed it soothingly against the parted lips. When she was satisfied they were no longer parched, Kahlan traced the wet cloth over Cara’s still face, being careful about her bruises.
Blurry eyes cracked open and a sharp intake of breath escaped, followed by a low moan.
“Hey.” Kahlan gave her a tender smile, her hand resting carefully on her cheek. “Careful how you move, you’re hurt.”
“Hurt?” Cara croaked and winced at the scratchiness on her throat, her eyes glazed and unfocused, her mind wrapped in a dense fog.
“Yeah, you and Richard were attacked, remember?”
“Attack- We… I…” Cara’s eyes darted back and forth apprehensively, trying to remember what had happened, why she was hurt, but there was nothing but blurry images.
“Hey, take it easy.” Kahlan scooted closer and gently stroked her thumb across the smooth surface of her cheek. “You took a hard blow to the head Cara, it’s all right if you don’t remember.”
Instinctively, Cara’s hand moved to her head, wincing when she felt the slight lump on her left temple. “Where’s the wizard? He can heal me.”
Kahlan sighed. “He tried already, twice.” Kahlan nodded knowingly as the woman’s eyes grew serious, if still unfocused. “I know. I’m waiting for Zedd to wake up to see if he managed to heal Richard last night.”
Richard. Cara frowned, she should have asked about him immediately as her eyes opened, but he was the furthest thing from her mind and strangely enough, the feeling she had come to associate as guilt, that she should be feeling right now, never came. “How’s Richard?”
“Whole.” Kahlan gave her a smile. “Just cuts and bruises, nothing serious, unlike you.” The slender fingers wandered to the sweaty blonde hair and brushed away a few stray strands from her forehead. “You were the one to fall this time.”
Cara scowled at her, quickly masking her surprise at the soft touch. “Have you bought the horses? We should leave as soon as possible.” She tried to control her voice, to keep it even, but the slow, constant movement of those warm fingers against her scalp was making it difficult.
“We’re not leaving yet Cara, you’re too hurt to travel safely.” Kahlan didn’t stop her movements, though her eyes grew serious.
“Kahlan…”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I!”
“Don’t even try it, Cara. If you’re feeling better tomorrow, then we’ll leave.”
Cara glared at her, forcing her eyes not to blink sleepily. “Stop that.”
“What?”
“What you’re doing.” This time, Cara couldn’t stop blinking like a demented owl.
“Why?” Kahlan eyed her curiously, keeping her gentle touch.
“Because!” Cara blinked again, her eyes growing heavier.
“Is this putting you to sleep?” Kahlan asked, utterly charmed.
Cara frowned, her eyes closing against her will. “No! I…” but she made the mistake of opening them and looking at those sparkling blue eyes and that bright smile, and gave just up. “Yes…”
“No one will believe this…” Kahlan mumbled under her breath, amazed.
Green-blue eyes opened in alarm. “Kahlan…”
“I know.” Kahlan reassured her quickly, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise. It’ll be our little secret, all right?”
Cara blinked tiredly and gave her a last suspicious look before closing her eyes again. “I have no choice but to trust you, Confessor…” but her voice didn’t sound reproachful as she intended, sounding instead like the gentle yielding that it was.
Kahlan chuckled and moved closer, so she could whisper in her ear. “I like having secrets with you, Cara Mason.”
Cara frowned, her eyes still closed, and slurred. “Why?”
“Because you’re my best friend and I trust you with my life.”
Green-blue eyes opened slightly at that, but the blonde remained silent, watching her, considering her words. The heavy lids closed again and Cara let herself go before she could think of a suitable reply. She would have to talk to the Confessor about this ‘friend’ thing. Mord’Sith had no friends; Mord’Sith kept no silly little secrets and most certainly did not share them. They would have to talk, sometime.
Kahlan pressed her lips against her temple and kept up her soothing ministrations until she was sure Cara was asleep, her breathing deep and even.
“Still wary of letting me in, aren’t you? But I’m more stubborn than you think and I will win this battle, Cara Mason. That’s a promise,”
Kahlan vowed aloud as she adjusted Cara’s blankets, making sure she was comfortable, then returned to her perch by the window, staring at the slowly waking village, a satisfied smile on her face.
##
“Good morning.” Kahlan greeted them with a warm smile. Richard and Zedd already seemed to have had breakfast and were just talking quietly at the table in the half full inn.
“Morning, dear one.” Zedd smiled fatherly at her, carefully regarding the dark bags under her eyes and tired face. “How is Cara?”
“In and out. Could you check on her? She had a light fever during the night. I think it's gone, but…” she asked softly, her eyes pleading.
“Of course, my dear.” He patted her arm lightly and left to check on the Mord’Sith.
“Let me order breakfast for you. The bread is quite tasty here.” Richard smiled sincerely at her.
Kahlan nodded and gave him a grateful smile. She noticed that the bruises and cuts on his face were healed, which meant that Zedd’s healing ability was working just fine. She bit her lip in consternation. Maybe he’d just been too tired the day before, and Richard’s injuries were superficial, unlike Cara, who had sustained considerable damage.
“How is she really?”
The gentle, familiar voice brought her head up to face repent brown eyes.
“I’m not sure.” The little voice in the back of her mind prevented her from elaborating, Cara’s request from the day before coming to mind.
“That was quite a beating she took.”
Richard nodded, his eyes troubled. “I tried to get to her, but there were too many of them.”
Despite all the arguments and misunderstandings of the last few days, Kahlan couldn’t really bring herself to be mad at him - much. She moved her hand across the table to touch his in a comforting gesture and he took hold of it immediately. “It wasn’t your fault, Richard.”
Richard stared at the long, slender fingers on top of his and swallowed. “I know, but still…”
She nodded in understanding. “Did you kill them all?”
Richard shook his head. “We were doing a fine job of keeping them away until Cara fell.” He frowned. “Then they just left. They had the chance to overwhelm me, but they didn’t.”
Kahlan blinked at him in disbelief. “They just left?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah, they… I think one of them recognized me and said something to the others… I heard him talk, but he was too far away to understand.”
“Well, maybe they were afraid of going against you. You are the Seeker after all.” She gave him a little smile and remained silent until the young woman serving her breakfast left. “We need to get the horses.”
He nodded. “Is she all right to travel?”
“She thinks she is.” She chuckled at his rolling eyes. “Yeah, I know. I told her we’ll leave tomorrow if she’s feeling better.”
Richard blinked at her. “And she agreed?”
Kahlan chewed her bread and smiled a little, her eyes fixed on her plate. “She wasn’t happy about it, but she didn’t argue either.”
His eyes widened and his eyebrows almost touched his unruly brown hair. “My respect for you just grew ten feet tall! I have to order her to get her to agree with something like that.”
Kahlan lifted her eyes without moving her head, her lips curling up just slightly - it was a very close rendering of Cara’s smug look.
“I don’t want to know.” He chuckled good-naturedly, but quickly sobered up. “Kahlan…” he licked his lips in anticipation. “I’m sorry for my behavior of late. I’m…” he paused, as if gathering his thoughts. “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m not sure if it’s the Sword influencing me again. I feel this… darkness boiling inside me from time to time and I just can’t seem to control it. It’s like someone else is taking over.”
She blinked at him, not expecting him to talk about this. “When did it start?”
Her voice was so soft, he barely heard the question. “A few days after we left the Pillars, I began to feel… strange, but I paid no heed to it. I thought it was just a reaction to everything we’ve been through, but now I’m not so sure.”
“And you’ve never felt it before?” She insisted, her head tilting slightly to the side, remembering Cara’s words.
Richard shook his head, not looking at her. “No, I…” he sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, I really am. I’m trying my best to work around this need to lash out and take control, and…” he raised his head, desperation clear in his eyes. “I’m not sure I can keep this under control, Kahlan, and I might do something that might push you away from me.” The grip on her hand tightened almost painfully. “I know you’re mad at me, and I should apologize to poor Cara too, but I can’t help myself and I need to know that you forgive me, Kahlan, that you can overlook all of those nasty things I told you.” He paused for effect, his deep brown eyes boring into hers. “I need to know you still love me.”
Kahlan exhaled softly. “I forgive you, Richard, and I’m sure Cara will too.” She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “We’ll get to the bottom of this. If you’re spelled, Zedd will find out, I’m sure.”
He nodded slowly, sadness in his eyes. “I can’t help but notice you didn’t say you still love me.”
Kahlan squeezed his hand gently, her eyes set on their now entwined fingers. “I will always love you, Richard Cypher.” I’m just not sure I’m still in love with you.
A relieved smile transformed his whole face, like it always did. “Thank you for telling me. I promise you I’ll fight this with everything that I have.”
“I know you will.” She pulled her hand away and returned her attention to her breakfast, feeling awful for not telling him the whole truth. But she couldn’t, not yet; not until she was sure how she felt about him.
He watched her carefully and sighed, his joy vanishing in thin air. “You forgave me, but you’re still mad at me. Is it because I want us to go to Westland?”
Kahlan looked up from her plate and gave him a blank look. “Richard…”
“I know you, Kahlan; I know you better than anyone else, remember?” His sadness showed in his smile. “That’s all right, I understand. I’m taking some villagers to check the woods again.”
Drumming his fingers lightly on the uneven table he considered her silently, and then left the inn, a dangerous glint shining in his brown eyes, finally allowing her time alone with her thoughts.
“No you don’t, Richard,” she mumbled quietly to herself. “You don’t know me at all.”
With a heavy sigh, she returned to her breakfast. They would have to talk soon, real soon. She meant what she said before, she still loved him, but even if they did marry, she would not go to Westland nor would she carry his child. That specific conversation, however, would have to wait until after they found out what was wrong with him, else she might risk triggering some unpredictable reaction.
She was sure Richard was living an illusion, like she had, swept away by the romantic notion of the epic love of the Confessor and her Seeker, as Cara liked to say in that mocking tone of hers. But they were both more than the Confessor and the Seeker; they were Kahlan and Richard; a woman and a man; and while Kahlan did love Richard for being her first real friend; for being the first to look over the defensive walls and peek at the person inside; the woman in her did not crave his touch or his kiss, or his smile. The Confessor had fallen quickly for his friendly smile and easy going manners; the woman inside craved the passion and thrill, danger; Richard Cypher was none of that. Falling for Richard had been too easy to be counted as real, undying love, it had been too predictable. And like Zedd had once told Richard, if the road was easy, you were likely going the wrong way.
##
Cara woke up briefly a few times during the day, but otherwise remained asleep, barely moving in bed. Zedd had tried his magic on her once again, managing to heal a few more bruises, but not much more. The cuts on her arm and leg were still very much there, as were her sore ribs and a myriad of other bruises.
It was just a little after dinner time when Richard knocked on the room’s door, a large tray with food on his hands.
“Dinner.” He smiled brightly at her.
“Thank you, Richard.” Kahlan gave him a real smile. “I was just waiting for Zedd to…”
Richard nodded. “I know.” He put the tray down and pointed to it. “Go ahead. I brought some soup for Cara, just in case she wakes up.” He gave the sleeping blonde a worried glance. “It’s not like her to sleep this long.”
Kahlan sighed and tended to her dinner - she was starving. “Zedd says she took a pretty hard blow to the head, and considering her other injuries, it’s only natural. Her body demands rest and I’m actually glad she’s asleep or else we’d reach Aydindril before dawn.”
That forced a laugh out of him. “And I can picture her doing just that, forcing us to travel at breakneck speed and calling us slowpokes, and other unspeakable names.”
Kahlan chuckled and sipped her ale. “Did you find the raider’s trail?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. It’s as if they never existed.” He looked back at the prone woman in the bed. “If she wasn’t lying there, hurt, I would believe I might have imagined them.” Kahlan nodded in understanding, firmly ignoring the pesky voice in the back of her mind, insisting something was not right. Of course it wasn’t, silly thing, she just couldn’t figure out what. “Do you think she’ll be all right to travel tomorrow?”
“No, but I did promise if she was feeling better tomorrow, we’d leave. She won’t let me get away with it.”
Richard gave his Mors’Sith a fond look. “Did you have to threaten her with her Lord Rahl to get her to stay put?”
“No, I insisted and she acquiesced. Cara may be stubborn, but she’s not reckless.” Sometimes.
Richard nodded gravely, surprised at how well Kahlan seemed to handle Cara. Mm. “Well, that’s a good thing then.” He turned around fully, his hands clasped behind his back, and gave her his trademark boyish smile. “Do you think we could share a room? I’d really like to be close to you tonight. Zedd can watch over Cara.”
Kahlan nearly choked on her ale, and not for the first time, she was really glad for her Confessor training and experience. Forcing her face to remain blank, Kahlan slowly looked at him, ignoring his hopeful boyish smile. That might have worked on her some time ago, but not anymore.
“Richard, I am the Mother Confessor and we’re in the Midlands. I cannot, and will not be seen sharing a room with a man that is neither my husband nor my officially chosen mate. It’s improper for a woman of my position to do so.”
Richard swallowed, trying to hide his disappointment, without much success. “We don’t have to, you know, do anything…” his hand trailed his words off. “We can just talk and…”
“It doesn’t matter what we do inside, Richard. All that matters is that I’ll be in there with you all night long.” For the first time that day, she became her stoic, unruffled Confessor persona. “I am not an ordinary Midlander.”
“I know that,” he said, his face set in a deep frown.
“Do you really? You seem to forget it quite frequently.”
“I never forget it, Kahlan.” He stepped closer to her, trying to convey his sincerity.
“You just ignore it to your convenience.” When Richard failed to reply, she nodded slowly. “You also know that with my position comes a series of responsibilities and rules that I cannot overlook just because I felt like it.” That was only partially true, but he didn’t need to know that. “Do you understand, Richard? I cannot be the person you met on the road and I will not throw away my people’s respect for myself and my rule just because you cannot control your urges. And I thought we agreed to keep our distance until we have things figured out between us.”
“I know, but…” he looked down, his feet suddenly very interesting. “I understand. I’m sorry I asked.” And with that he left.
Kahlan exhaled, relieved, her hand rubbing her eyes. She felt a little guilty for lying to him, but not too much.
“You lied.”
Kahlan’s head lifted sharply at the sound of the rough voice, still heavy with sleep. “Hey.” She couldn’t help but smile as she made her way to the bed. “You’re awake.” The few times the blonde had opened her eyes during the day, Kahlan was always away, tending to the village’s affairs, performing her duty as a Confessor. “How are you feeling?”
“Peachy.”
Kahlan chuckled at the sarcastic reply. “That bad?”
Cara blinked at her, still feeling dazed, but not too bad otherwise. “You lied to him. Why?”
Of course Cara would focus on that. “I… I just don’t feel safe around him anymore.”
Cara’s penetrating gaze bored into her like hot iron, assessing everything, her eyes no longer sleepy and tired. “Did he hurt you?”
“Hurt me?” Kahlan repeated, surprised at the dangerous tone in the blonde’s voice. “No, Cara, he didn’t. I know he’s not himself lately, but I don’t believe he would ever physically hurt me.”
Again, Cara remained silent, her eyes unmoving from their target and that unnerved Kahlan. “Did the wizard find anything?”
Kahlan shook her head. “No, but… Richard and I talked this morning and he apologized. He’s aware of what’s happening and he’s trying his best to fight it. I just hope we can find some answers in the Keep.”
Cara nodded her agreement and relaxed a little, assured that Kahlan was telling her the truth, because if Richard - her Lord Rahl - had so much as laid a hand on her, he would find out up close and personal what it felt like to have an agiel shoved up his…
“Do you want some soup?”
Cara focused her eyes back on the Confessor and shook her head slowly.
“Cara…”
“My stomach is still queasy,” she admitted. “I’m not sure I can hold it down.”
“You have to eat. It’s been almost two days since you last ate.”
“I know, but I don’t want to risk it.” Cara licked her lips. “But I’ll accept water if you have some handy.”
Kahlan gave her a disapproving stare, but did as requested. After helping her to a sitting position, she handed her the cup with water from the nightstand. Satisfied that she could drink on her own, she took the tray from the small table and walked back to the bed. Cara’s eyes tracked the Confessor’s movements suspiciously, waiting for the damn woman to make her move and try to trick her.
“Cara…”
Cara rolled her eyes, but stood her ground firmly. She would not trick her!
“Please?” Kahlan’s voice broke a little and she turned pleading blue eyes on the hapless Mord’Sith.
Cara’s eyes widened in indignation - she was being shamelessly manipulated! No, no, no, and no! “Fine! I hope I throw up all over you!”
Kahlan’s answer was a bright, happy smile. “Thank you. It makes me feel so much better.”
Cara huffed, not amused, but not angry either. This was happening quite frequently lately and she couldn’t really understand why; couldn’t understand why she granted Kahlan liberties not even Lord Rahl was allowed. She was not amused! “Is this more humoring, Confessor?” Kahlan nodded, still smiling, and Cara just glared at her, her eyes hard and wide, her arms crossed over her chest.
Kahlan bit her lower lip to contain her laughter. Cara was impossibly endearing, even if she didn’t know it. “Here, the soup is actually quite good.” Kahlan picked up the bowl and lifted the spoon to the petulant lips.
“What are you doing?” Cara growled, her eyes flashing with something resembling anger, but not quite there.
Kahlan’s eyes never wavered. “Taking care of you.”
“I can eat perfectly well on my own, Mother Confessor!” Cara tried to take the bowl from the Confessor’s hand, but her ribs protested wildly against the sudden movement and she was unable to prevent the flinch from showing in her eyes.
Kahlan sighed. Stubborn thing! “Cara, I know you can eat on your own, but it’s easier for you if I help you. You can deny it all you want, but I know you’re in pain. Let me do this for you!”
Cara deliberately crossed her arms under her chest and stared at her, her bored, unapproachable Mord’Sith’s expression firmly in place, never once flinching at the pain stabbing her side like needles. This was what being a Mord’sith meant; it wasn’t that you didn’t feel pain, you did, and probably more so than most; it was about how you controlled it and bent it to your will.
“Fine, have it your way.” Kahlan let out a defeated breath, placed the bowl back on the tray and walked out toward the door; she needed to clear her head.
“Kahlan…”
Kahlan almost didn’t hear her name, so softly it was spoken. She stopped, her hand gripping the door’s handle, waiting.
“I’m…” a deep sigh. “I’m not used to this. I…” Cursing herself for her inability to just let her walk away and learn her lesson. She was not a nice person!
When nothing else came forth, Kahlan turned around and leaned against the door. Watching the blonde woman so completely at loss pulled every single string of her heart taut and she was helpless to resist it. Slowly walking back to the bed again, she knelt down and dared to take Cara’s hand in hers, reveling in the warmth and softness of it. How could such a strong and deadly hand feel this good?
Cara’s eyes darted everywhere, expecting the touch, but completely unprepared for the jolt of sensation that came from it. Desperately trying to avoid the Confessor’s probing eyes, she finally settled for staring at their entwined fingers, becoming briefly distracted about how well they fit together. She wasn’t afraid of her or anything absurd like that, she just… didn’t know how to deal with the feelings slowly bubbling inside her chest - feelings she couldn’t identify.
“I know and I’m sorry for pushing you. I guess I sometimes forget you’re not like everyone else.”
Cara didn’t dare to look up from their entangled hands, afraid of what she might find in those expressive blue eyes. “Is that a bad thing?” She asked softly, unable to stop herself.
Kahlan’s eyes lifted at the softly spoken words; there was a soft rustle as she moved slowly from her kneeling position to sit on the soft mattress, closer to Cara. Using her free hand, she cupped Cara’s cheek, marveling at silkiness of the golden skin, and gently forced her to look at her.
Cara’s eyes fluttered at the delicate touch and when she opened them again, she was caught completely in those warm, compassionate blue eyes. She knew she was exposed, her soul bared for the Confessor to probe for the second time since they met; she knew she should look away, hide herself, protect herself, but she was unable to. Again.
“No, it’s not a bad thing, Cara.” Her thumb moved slowly on its own accord against the warm skin - so soft and delicate. “Not at all. I… I like that you’re different from everyone else. I really like it that you let me see this side of you. Thank you, for trusting me.”
They stared at each other for what might have been several candle marks, immersing themselves in each other.
“You make it near impossible to hide from you, Confessor.” Cara had to look away, unnerved by their stare down. This was happening a lot too and she didn’t know how to deal with it; she didn’t know how to deal with any of it.
Kahlan forced out a low chuckle and swallowed, her eyes unwavering. “We both know I’m not that good, Cara; not when it comes to you. You purposely let me in. Somehow,” Kahlan’s hand slowly trailed from her cheek, sensitive fingertips tracing against her neck, down to her chest. The gentle, barely felt touch stopped and rested above her heart, an erratic heart beat thundering against the golden chest, “somehow I made myself worthy of your trust and that’s the most precious gift you could’ve ever given me.”
A hard swallow. “Can we talk about something else? Please?” Her voice was strained and rough with barely contained emotion, her eyes still glued at some point in the room. It was ridiculous, really. She was Mord’Sith, she didn’t have to put up with this!
Kahlan nodded and slowly pulled away, shakily returning her attention to the forgotten bowl. Forcing a smile back on her face, she held the bowl in front of her.
Cara rolled her eyes but complied by opening her mouth. Kahlan’s smile could’ve lit up the way to the underworld.
##
A slow, lazy smile stretched across full, pouty lips as she snuggled closer to her warm, breathing blanket, craving the contact and the sense of peace that always came with it. Strong, freckled arms held her close in a protective embrace and she felt more than heard the contented sigh against the back of her head. It felt…
A loud, angry growl shattered the blissful silence of the early morning and the body wrapped tightly against hers tensed in reaction.
Green-blue eyes opened, suddenly wide awake. “Am I in danger?” Cara rasped out, amused, her voice still heavy with recent sleep.
A groan escaped against her neck and she sensed Kahlan’s embarrassment as she buried her face against her neck. Another growl sounded, louder than the first, and she couldn’t hold back anymore and started to laugh softly. Kahlan almost forgot about her predicament; it was such a light and melodious sound, so completely unrelated to the blonde’s fierce demeanor, she was sure she was imagining it. She’d heard it before exactly twice, but it never once sounded like this, so carefree and real.
“Should I run for cover?” Cara teased softly. “Because I’m not sure I can move fast enough, with me being hurt and all.”
“It’s not funny!” Kahlan slapped her arm, mortally embarrassed. “We fell asleep before I could finish dinner. It’s your fault.” She remembered how she had helped the blonde back down on the bed, snuggling closer to her, her hand scratching her head lightly. She was hoping her new trick would work again and Cara would fall asleep; she just didn’t expect the warmth coming from the blonde to return the favor. She was asleep before she could even think about it.
“You’re right.” Cara took a careful deep breath and forced the amusement out of her voice. “We should get up and feed Beastie before he devours me.”
“Cara!” Kahlan growled in her ear, but couldn’t help the smile from tugging at the corners of her mouth. Cara was almost never this playful, and when she was, it was only when they were alone.
The Mord’Sith smiled easily, pleased with herself for discovering teasing material on Kahlan. It would be put to good use sooner or later. “Don’t worry, Confessor, it’ll be our little secret,” deliberately repeating Kahlan’s own words.
“Why do you have to make it sound like that?” Kahlan whined, her head sagging against Cara’s neck.
Cara frowned just a little. “Like what?”
“Like I’m going to regret it.”
“Heh!” She chuckled again, ignoring the tiny voice inside her head, dripping with sarcasm, telling her about how wonderful it was that she’d become this soft since joining the silly merry band of the Seeker; how nice it was that she was able to share a heartfelt laugh with her sworn enemy! It sounded suspiciously like Darken’s taunting voice.
Kahlan grinned and lifted herself slightly, supporting her head on her hand, so she could take a better look at the blonde. “How are you feeling?”
“Great. We can leave after breakfast,” Cara replied, her voice still full of mirth. She was in a good mood.
Kahlan narrowed her eyes, but decided not to insist. Cara would get out of bed and leave to Aydrindril today if she had to drag herself by the fingernails. And she was sure the good night's sleep had done its job, since she did look better than the day before and was actually in a good mood. She was glad that at least the nightmares hadn’t tormented her. “ Alright. I’m going to the kitchen to get us some breakfast.”
“We can join Richard and Zedd downstairs.” Cara cut her off smoothly.
Stubborn… “Cara, if I go downstairs for breakfast, we’ll never leave. More people will show up asking for an audience with me.” She let out a heavy sigh, hoping that would convince the blonde. “I was hoping for an early start.”
Cara narrowed her eyes suspiciously and looked over her shoulder, sure she was being played, but nodded her agreement. Kahlan nodded back forcing her smile to stay put.
“I’ll be right back,” Kahlan said, slowly disentangling herself from the blonde’s warm body.
Cara watched her go and exhaled. She needed to get up and put on her leathers, and forget about how cold she felt now that Kahlan was no longer pressing against her.
Pursing her lips in a thin line, she pushed back the blanket still covering her and shifted her legs to the edge of the bed. When her feet touched the cold, wooden floor, she pushed herself to a sitting position, careful not to jar her side. Happy that everything else seemed to be in working order, she dismissed the dizziness and the annoying little pains all over her body, and grabbed her leathers from the nightstand, where they rested neatly folded.
Alone and still dazed from lying flat on her back for almost two days, her mind started to wander to the day they arrived at the village and the events that led her to getting injured. She remembered trying to reassure the villagers about the raiders, but Richard had insisted on checking the woods for tracks and… Her brows furrowed in confusion, her movements pausing ever so slightly. She remembered being angry at Richard for leaving Kahlan unprotected and… It all became kinda fuzzy after that. There was a fight and… but… she couldn’t tell exactly… The memories were too quick, too fuzzy, too… Except for laughter; maniacal laughter… Mocking her, taunting her…
“Cara?”
Cara’s eyes slowly focused on the worried face of the Mother Confessor, kneeling in front of her. “He was mocking me… He…”
Kahlan blinked and touched her face, not sure she heard the whispered words correctly. “Who mocked you?”
“The one who attacked me… I…” her brows furrowed deeply, trying to remember, to force back those fleeting memories, but they kept eluding her.
“Do you remember what happened?” Kahlan’s other hand cupped the other side of her face and gently forced the blonde to focus on her. She had arrived at the room to see Cara sitting on the bed, her leathers already on, but the laces still undone, mumbling under her breath, a distant look in her eyes. The Mord’Sith didn’t even hear her come in.
“Yes… I mean, no. It’s…”
“Cara, you took a blow to the head. It’s normal that your thoughts are fuzzy right now. It will come to you.” Her left hand moved to the back of her head, slowly scratching the nape of her neck in a soothing motion. “What matters is that you’re safe. You both are.”
Cara just stared at her for the longest time, a strange expression on her face.
“Cara?”
Cara sighed and nodded. “I’ll remember it sooner or later.” Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Kahlan nodded back, her eyes never leaving the green-blues of the Mord’Sith. “Let me help you with those laces.”
For once, Cara didn’t argue and nodded her agreement.
Kahlan shot her a worried look but said nothing.
##
"Did you tell them we're waiting for them?" Cara let out slow, even breaths. After breakfast, they descended quietly to the stables, with Kahlan keeping a supportive arm around the Mord'Sith’s waist. The Confessor didn't ask if she needed help and the Mord'Sith didn't refuse when it was offered.
Kahlan helped her to climb up on her horse, keeping a steady hand on her leg. "Are you all right up there?"
"Yes," Cara said, her eyes still closed against the pain on her side and her throbbing leg, her voice strained. She was glad Kahlan had insisted on having breakfast in the room. She couldn’t bear the thought of Lord Rahl seeing this weakness of hers.
Kahlan nodded. "I'm glad we're taking the horses. I'd hate for you to have to walk all the way to Aydindril like this."
"I would manage." Cara gave her a meaningful stare. "Are they coming or not?"
"They'll be here in a moment, don't worry." Kahlan patted her leg and made her way to her horse, ignoring the glare. "Zedd is probably just finishing breakfast."
"He’s more likely ruining the innkeeper beyond salvation. Where he keeps all that food is a mystery that eludes even the Creator!"
Kahlan chuckled and gave her a fond look. She was so cute when she was grumpy and trying to pretend nothing was wrong.
“What?” Cara asked impatiently, noticing the look.
“Nothing.” Kahlan mounted her horse, the smile never leaving her lips. “Ready?”
Cara kept glaring and Kahlan kept smiling at her.
##
Rating: M
Word Count: 6480
Author: Mistresserin
Beta: Fifi
Author’s Note: See chapter one for disclaimers. Here’s part 5 of Deception. Once again, thank you so much for your commentsJ
Chapter Five
Ever so slowly, bloodshot green-blue eyes cracked open, only to close the next moment. It seemed her eyelids were too heavy to keep her eyes open. That was all right, she could try again later, she was just too tired now, so she just let herself slip into that lethargic state of barely there awareness, her mind fuzzy and her body exhausted, and sore.
A warm hand slipped under her head, cradling it carefully. Something cold was pressed against her aching lips and the unmistakable tasteless flavor of fresh water slowly invaded her hazy senses. She realized suddenly that she was thirsty and tried to have more of the blissful liquid; the wooden cup moved away from her lips and a voice sounded close by, but she couldn't understand what was being said - she just wanted to drink some more! The cup returned to her lips and, this time, she decided not to let it get away and moved her hand to keep it there, only to have her mind finally acknowledge the pain wracking through her body. Inevitably, unwillingly, a groan of pain escaped through her lips. The voice sounded again and she thought she recognized it, but couldn’t quite place it.
The cool liquid invaded her dry throat once more and she swallowed it down greedily, almost choking. The cup was again removed and her head was lowered and nestled carefully against the pillow. She tried to open her eyes, but she was just too tired to even care about her whereabouts or her pains. All she wanted, all she needed, was to fall back into that blissful darkness that threatened to consume all of her. And she would let it - it was an old friend.
Warmth started in her chest, above her heart, and her lips curled into the tiniest of smiles, she knew that touch.
“Rest…” the softly spoken words tickled her ear and she was helpless to comply.
She knew now where she was; she knew now she was safe.
##
Kahlan was looking outside the window of their paid room, watching as some of the villagers emerged from their homes to start another day of hard labor, the first rays of orange and purple light invading the small village and taking possession of it. Normality was slowly returning to the Midlands after the rift was closed and the banelings vanished back to the Underworld, but the scars that were left behind would take a long time to heal. Entire villages had been wiped off the face of the earth before anyone could do anything about it; entire families had been slaughtered, while others had been ripped apart beyond repair. The Midlands would forever bear the scar of this violation, but it would breathe again. Her sister’s message, however, made her wonder for just how long they would breathe freely without choking yet again.
Her eyes drifted to the bed’s single occupant and rested there for the longest time, just taking every single detail in and committing them to memory. A light fever had disturbed her sleep for a little while and just before dawn she had stirred lightly, no sound escaping her bruised lips. Kahlan had hurried to get some water into her before she could slip back into unconsciousness, careful about not letting her have too much. Even half-unconscious, Cara seemed to disagree and tried to force the cup back in place, only causing herself more pain in the process; pain Kahlan knew she would never let out if she was fully awake.
The light fever had relented a few candle marks before dawn and now she was sound asleep again, her bruised lips slightly parted and dry. Kahlan frowned a little at that and wandered to the nightstand. Taking a clean cloth from the fresh pile the innkeeper had kindly left the night before, she soaked it with water from the jar and pressed it soothingly against the parted lips. When she was satisfied they were no longer parched, Kahlan traced the wet cloth over Cara’s still face, being careful about her bruises.
Blurry eyes cracked open and a sharp intake of breath escaped, followed by a low moan.
“Hey.” Kahlan gave her a tender smile, her hand resting carefully on her cheek. “Careful how you move, you’re hurt.”
“Hurt?” Cara croaked and winced at the scratchiness on her throat, her eyes glazed and unfocused, her mind wrapped in a dense fog.
“Yeah, you and Richard were attacked, remember?”
“Attack- We… I…” Cara’s eyes darted back and forth apprehensively, trying to remember what had happened, why she was hurt, but there was nothing but blurry images.
“Hey, take it easy.” Kahlan scooted closer and gently stroked her thumb across the smooth surface of her cheek. “You took a hard blow to the head Cara, it’s all right if you don’t remember.”
Instinctively, Cara’s hand moved to her head, wincing when she felt the slight lump on her left temple. “Where’s the wizard? He can heal me.”
Kahlan sighed. “He tried already, twice.” Kahlan nodded knowingly as the woman’s eyes grew serious, if still unfocused. “I know. I’m waiting for Zedd to wake up to see if he managed to heal Richard last night.”
Richard. Cara frowned, she should have asked about him immediately as her eyes opened, but he was the furthest thing from her mind and strangely enough, the feeling she had come to associate as guilt, that she should be feeling right now, never came. “How’s Richard?”
“Whole.” Kahlan gave her a smile. “Just cuts and bruises, nothing serious, unlike you.” The slender fingers wandered to the sweaty blonde hair and brushed away a few stray strands from her forehead. “You were the one to fall this time.”
Cara scowled at her, quickly masking her surprise at the soft touch. “Have you bought the horses? We should leave as soon as possible.” She tried to control her voice, to keep it even, but the slow, constant movement of those warm fingers against her scalp was making it difficult.
“We’re not leaving yet Cara, you’re too hurt to travel safely.” Kahlan didn’t stop her movements, though her eyes grew serious.
“Kahlan…”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I!”
“Don’t even try it, Cara. If you’re feeling better tomorrow, then we’ll leave.”
Cara glared at her, forcing her eyes not to blink sleepily. “Stop that.”
“What?”
“What you’re doing.” This time, Cara couldn’t stop blinking like a demented owl.
“Why?” Kahlan eyed her curiously, keeping her gentle touch.
“Because!” Cara blinked again, her eyes growing heavier.
“Is this putting you to sleep?” Kahlan asked, utterly charmed.
Cara frowned, her eyes closing against her will. “No! I…” but she made the mistake of opening them and looking at those sparkling blue eyes and that bright smile, and gave just up. “Yes…”
“No one will believe this…” Kahlan mumbled under her breath, amazed.
Green-blue eyes opened in alarm. “Kahlan…”
“I know.” Kahlan reassured her quickly, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise. It’ll be our little secret, all right?”
Cara blinked tiredly and gave her a last suspicious look before closing her eyes again. “I have no choice but to trust you, Confessor…” but her voice didn’t sound reproachful as she intended, sounding instead like the gentle yielding that it was.
Kahlan chuckled and moved closer, so she could whisper in her ear. “I like having secrets with you, Cara Mason.”
Cara frowned, her eyes still closed, and slurred. “Why?”
“Because you’re my best friend and I trust you with my life.”
Green-blue eyes opened slightly at that, but the blonde remained silent, watching her, considering her words. The heavy lids closed again and Cara let herself go before she could think of a suitable reply. She would have to talk to the Confessor about this ‘friend’ thing. Mord’Sith had no friends; Mord’Sith kept no silly little secrets and most certainly did not share them. They would have to talk, sometime.
Kahlan pressed her lips against her temple and kept up her soothing ministrations until she was sure Cara was asleep, her breathing deep and even.
“Still wary of letting me in, aren’t you? But I’m more stubborn than you think and I will win this battle, Cara Mason. That’s a promise,”
Kahlan vowed aloud as she adjusted Cara’s blankets, making sure she was comfortable, then returned to her perch by the window, staring at the slowly waking village, a satisfied smile on her face.
##
“Good morning.” Kahlan greeted them with a warm smile. Richard and Zedd already seemed to have had breakfast and were just talking quietly at the table in the half full inn.
“Morning, dear one.” Zedd smiled fatherly at her, carefully regarding the dark bags under her eyes and tired face. “How is Cara?”
“In and out. Could you check on her? She had a light fever during the night. I think it's gone, but…” she asked softly, her eyes pleading.
“Of course, my dear.” He patted her arm lightly and left to check on the Mord’Sith.
“Let me order breakfast for you. The bread is quite tasty here.” Richard smiled sincerely at her.
Kahlan nodded and gave him a grateful smile. She noticed that the bruises and cuts on his face were healed, which meant that Zedd’s healing ability was working just fine. She bit her lip in consternation. Maybe he’d just been too tired the day before, and Richard’s injuries were superficial, unlike Cara, who had sustained considerable damage.
“How is she really?”
The gentle, familiar voice brought her head up to face repent brown eyes.
“I’m not sure.” The little voice in the back of her mind prevented her from elaborating, Cara’s request from the day before coming to mind.
“That was quite a beating she took.”
Richard nodded, his eyes troubled. “I tried to get to her, but there were too many of them.”
Despite all the arguments and misunderstandings of the last few days, Kahlan couldn’t really bring herself to be mad at him - much. She moved her hand across the table to touch his in a comforting gesture and he took hold of it immediately. “It wasn’t your fault, Richard.”
Richard stared at the long, slender fingers on top of his and swallowed. “I know, but still…”
She nodded in understanding. “Did you kill them all?”
Richard shook his head. “We were doing a fine job of keeping them away until Cara fell.” He frowned. “Then they just left. They had the chance to overwhelm me, but they didn’t.”
Kahlan blinked at him in disbelief. “They just left?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah, they… I think one of them recognized me and said something to the others… I heard him talk, but he was too far away to understand.”
“Well, maybe they were afraid of going against you. You are the Seeker after all.” She gave him a little smile and remained silent until the young woman serving her breakfast left. “We need to get the horses.”
He nodded. “Is she all right to travel?”
“She thinks she is.” She chuckled at his rolling eyes. “Yeah, I know. I told her we’ll leave tomorrow if she’s feeling better.”
Richard blinked at her. “And she agreed?”
Kahlan chewed her bread and smiled a little, her eyes fixed on her plate. “She wasn’t happy about it, but she didn’t argue either.”
His eyes widened and his eyebrows almost touched his unruly brown hair. “My respect for you just grew ten feet tall! I have to order her to get her to agree with something like that.”
Kahlan lifted her eyes without moving her head, her lips curling up just slightly - it was a very close rendering of Cara’s smug look.
“I don’t want to know.” He chuckled good-naturedly, but quickly sobered up. “Kahlan…” he licked his lips in anticipation. “I’m sorry for my behavior of late. I’m…” he paused, as if gathering his thoughts. “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m not sure if it’s the Sword influencing me again. I feel this… darkness boiling inside me from time to time and I just can’t seem to control it. It’s like someone else is taking over.”
She blinked at him, not expecting him to talk about this. “When did it start?”
Her voice was so soft, he barely heard the question. “A few days after we left the Pillars, I began to feel… strange, but I paid no heed to it. I thought it was just a reaction to everything we’ve been through, but now I’m not so sure.”
“And you’ve never felt it before?” She insisted, her head tilting slightly to the side, remembering Cara’s words.
Richard shook his head, not looking at her. “No, I…” he sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, I really am. I’m trying my best to work around this need to lash out and take control, and…” he raised his head, desperation clear in his eyes. “I’m not sure I can keep this under control, Kahlan, and I might do something that might push you away from me.” The grip on her hand tightened almost painfully. “I know you’re mad at me, and I should apologize to poor Cara too, but I can’t help myself and I need to know that you forgive me, Kahlan, that you can overlook all of those nasty things I told you.” He paused for effect, his deep brown eyes boring into hers. “I need to know you still love me.”
Kahlan exhaled softly. “I forgive you, Richard, and I’m sure Cara will too.” She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “We’ll get to the bottom of this. If you’re spelled, Zedd will find out, I’m sure.”
He nodded slowly, sadness in his eyes. “I can’t help but notice you didn’t say you still love me.”
Kahlan squeezed his hand gently, her eyes set on their now entwined fingers. “I will always love you, Richard Cypher.” I’m just not sure I’m still in love with you.
A relieved smile transformed his whole face, like it always did. “Thank you for telling me. I promise you I’ll fight this with everything that I have.”
“I know you will.” She pulled her hand away and returned her attention to her breakfast, feeling awful for not telling him the whole truth. But she couldn’t, not yet; not until she was sure how she felt about him.
He watched her carefully and sighed, his joy vanishing in thin air. “You forgave me, but you’re still mad at me. Is it because I want us to go to Westland?”
Kahlan looked up from her plate and gave him a blank look. “Richard…”
“I know you, Kahlan; I know you better than anyone else, remember?” His sadness showed in his smile. “That’s all right, I understand. I’m taking some villagers to check the woods again.”
Drumming his fingers lightly on the uneven table he considered her silently, and then left the inn, a dangerous glint shining in his brown eyes, finally allowing her time alone with her thoughts.
“No you don’t, Richard,” she mumbled quietly to herself. “You don’t know me at all.”
With a heavy sigh, she returned to her breakfast. They would have to talk soon, real soon. She meant what she said before, she still loved him, but even if they did marry, she would not go to Westland nor would she carry his child. That specific conversation, however, would have to wait until after they found out what was wrong with him, else she might risk triggering some unpredictable reaction.
She was sure Richard was living an illusion, like she had, swept away by the romantic notion of the epic love of the Confessor and her Seeker, as Cara liked to say in that mocking tone of hers. But they were both more than the Confessor and the Seeker; they were Kahlan and Richard; a woman and a man; and while Kahlan did love Richard for being her first real friend; for being the first to look over the defensive walls and peek at the person inside; the woman in her did not crave his touch or his kiss, or his smile. The Confessor had fallen quickly for his friendly smile and easy going manners; the woman inside craved the passion and thrill, danger; Richard Cypher was none of that. Falling for Richard had been too easy to be counted as real, undying love, it had been too predictable. And like Zedd had once told Richard, if the road was easy, you were likely going the wrong way.
##
Cara woke up briefly a few times during the day, but otherwise remained asleep, barely moving in bed. Zedd had tried his magic on her once again, managing to heal a few more bruises, but not much more. The cuts on her arm and leg were still very much there, as were her sore ribs and a myriad of other bruises.
It was just a little after dinner time when Richard knocked on the room’s door, a large tray with food on his hands.
“Dinner.” He smiled brightly at her.
“Thank you, Richard.” Kahlan gave him a real smile. “I was just waiting for Zedd to…”
Richard nodded. “I know.” He put the tray down and pointed to it. “Go ahead. I brought some soup for Cara, just in case she wakes up.” He gave the sleeping blonde a worried glance. “It’s not like her to sleep this long.”
Kahlan sighed and tended to her dinner - she was starving. “Zedd says she took a pretty hard blow to the head, and considering her other injuries, it’s only natural. Her body demands rest and I’m actually glad she’s asleep or else we’d reach Aydindril before dawn.”
That forced a laugh out of him. “And I can picture her doing just that, forcing us to travel at breakneck speed and calling us slowpokes, and other unspeakable names.”
Kahlan chuckled and sipped her ale. “Did you find the raider’s trail?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. It’s as if they never existed.” He looked back at the prone woman in the bed. “If she wasn’t lying there, hurt, I would believe I might have imagined them.” Kahlan nodded in understanding, firmly ignoring the pesky voice in the back of her mind, insisting something was not right. Of course it wasn’t, silly thing, she just couldn’t figure out what. “Do you think she’ll be all right to travel tomorrow?”
“No, but I did promise if she was feeling better tomorrow, we’d leave. She won’t let me get away with it.”
Richard gave his Mors’Sith a fond look. “Did you have to threaten her with her Lord Rahl to get her to stay put?”
“No, I insisted and she acquiesced. Cara may be stubborn, but she’s not reckless.” Sometimes.
Richard nodded gravely, surprised at how well Kahlan seemed to handle Cara. Mm. “Well, that’s a good thing then.” He turned around fully, his hands clasped behind his back, and gave her his trademark boyish smile. “Do you think we could share a room? I’d really like to be close to you tonight. Zedd can watch over Cara.”
Kahlan nearly choked on her ale, and not for the first time, she was really glad for her Confessor training and experience. Forcing her face to remain blank, Kahlan slowly looked at him, ignoring his hopeful boyish smile. That might have worked on her some time ago, but not anymore.
“Richard, I am the Mother Confessor and we’re in the Midlands. I cannot, and will not be seen sharing a room with a man that is neither my husband nor my officially chosen mate. It’s improper for a woman of my position to do so.”
Richard swallowed, trying to hide his disappointment, without much success. “We don’t have to, you know, do anything…” his hand trailed his words off. “We can just talk and…”
“It doesn’t matter what we do inside, Richard. All that matters is that I’ll be in there with you all night long.” For the first time that day, she became her stoic, unruffled Confessor persona. “I am not an ordinary Midlander.”
“I know that,” he said, his face set in a deep frown.
“Do you really? You seem to forget it quite frequently.”
“I never forget it, Kahlan.” He stepped closer to her, trying to convey his sincerity.
“You just ignore it to your convenience.” When Richard failed to reply, she nodded slowly. “You also know that with my position comes a series of responsibilities and rules that I cannot overlook just because I felt like it.” That was only partially true, but he didn’t need to know that. “Do you understand, Richard? I cannot be the person you met on the road and I will not throw away my people’s respect for myself and my rule just because you cannot control your urges. And I thought we agreed to keep our distance until we have things figured out between us.”
“I know, but…” he looked down, his feet suddenly very interesting. “I understand. I’m sorry I asked.” And with that he left.
Kahlan exhaled, relieved, her hand rubbing her eyes. She felt a little guilty for lying to him, but not too much.
“You lied.”
Kahlan’s head lifted sharply at the sound of the rough voice, still heavy with sleep. “Hey.” She couldn’t help but smile as she made her way to the bed. “You’re awake.” The few times the blonde had opened her eyes during the day, Kahlan was always away, tending to the village’s affairs, performing her duty as a Confessor. “How are you feeling?”
“Peachy.”
Kahlan chuckled at the sarcastic reply. “That bad?”
Cara blinked at her, still feeling dazed, but not too bad otherwise. “You lied to him. Why?”
Of course Cara would focus on that. “I… I just don’t feel safe around him anymore.”
Cara’s penetrating gaze bored into her like hot iron, assessing everything, her eyes no longer sleepy and tired. “Did he hurt you?”
“Hurt me?” Kahlan repeated, surprised at the dangerous tone in the blonde’s voice. “No, Cara, he didn’t. I know he’s not himself lately, but I don’t believe he would ever physically hurt me.”
Again, Cara remained silent, her eyes unmoving from their target and that unnerved Kahlan. “Did the wizard find anything?”
Kahlan shook her head. “No, but… Richard and I talked this morning and he apologized. He’s aware of what’s happening and he’s trying his best to fight it. I just hope we can find some answers in the Keep.”
Cara nodded her agreement and relaxed a little, assured that Kahlan was telling her the truth, because if Richard - her Lord Rahl - had so much as laid a hand on her, he would find out up close and personal what it felt like to have an agiel shoved up his…
“Do you want some soup?”
Cara focused her eyes back on the Confessor and shook her head slowly.
“Cara…”
“My stomach is still queasy,” she admitted. “I’m not sure I can hold it down.”
“You have to eat. It’s been almost two days since you last ate.”
“I know, but I don’t want to risk it.” Cara licked her lips. “But I’ll accept water if you have some handy.”
Kahlan gave her a disapproving stare, but did as requested. After helping her to a sitting position, she handed her the cup with water from the nightstand. Satisfied that she could drink on her own, she took the tray from the small table and walked back to the bed. Cara’s eyes tracked the Confessor’s movements suspiciously, waiting for the damn woman to make her move and try to trick her.
“Cara…”
Cara rolled her eyes, but stood her ground firmly. She would not trick her!
“Please?” Kahlan’s voice broke a little and she turned pleading blue eyes on the hapless Mord’Sith.
Cara’s eyes widened in indignation - she was being shamelessly manipulated! No, no, no, and no! “Fine! I hope I throw up all over you!”
Kahlan’s answer was a bright, happy smile. “Thank you. It makes me feel so much better.”
Cara huffed, not amused, but not angry either. This was happening quite frequently lately and she couldn’t really understand why; couldn’t understand why she granted Kahlan liberties not even Lord Rahl was allowed. She was not amused! “Is this more humoring, Confessor?” Kahlan nodded, still smiling, and Cara just glared at her, her eyes hard and wide, her arms crossed over her chest.
Kahlan bit her lower lip to contain her laughter. Cara was impossibly endearing, even if she didn’t know it. “Here, the soup is actually quite good.” Kahlan picked up the bowl and lifted the spoon to the petulant lips.
“What are you doing?” Cara growled, her eyes flashing with something resembling anger, but not quite there.
Kahlan’s eyes never wavered. “Taking care of you.”
“I can eat perfectly well on my own, Mother Confessor!” Cara tried to take the bowl from the Confessor’s hand, but her ribs protested wildly against the sudden movement and she was unable to prevent the flinch from showing in her eyes.
Kahlan sighed. Stubborn thing! “Cara, I know you can eat on your own, but it’s easier for you if I help you. You can deny it all you want, but I know you’re in pain. Let me do this for you!”
Cara deliberately crossed her arms under her chest and stared at her, her bored, unapproachable Mord’Sith’s expression firmly in place, never once flinching at the pain stabbing her side like needles. This was what being a Mord’sith meant; it wasn’t that you didn’t feel pain, you did, and probably more so than most; it was about how you controlled it and bent it to your will.
“Fine, have it your way.” Kahlan let out a defeated breath, placed the bowl back on the tray and walked out toward the door; she needed to clear her head.
“Kahlan…”
Kahlan almost didn’t hear her name, so softly it was spoken. She stopped, her hand gripping the door’s handle, waiting.
“I’m…” a deep sigh. “I’m not used to this. I…” Cursing herself for her inability to just let her walk away and learn her lesson. She was not a nice person!
When nothing else came forth, Kahlan turned around and leaned against the door. Watching the blonde woman so completely at loss pulled every single string of her heart taut and she was helpless to resist it. Slowly walking back to the bed again, she knelt down and dared to take Cara’s hand in hers, reveling in the warmth and softness of it. How could such a strong and deadly hand feel this good?
Cara’s eyes darted everywhere, expecting the touch, but completely unprepared for the jolt of sensation that came from it. Desperately trying to avoid the Confessor’s probing eyes, she finally settled for staring at their entwined fingers, becoming briefly distracted about how well they fit together. She wasn’t afraid of her or anything absurd like that, she just… didn’t know how to deal with the feelings slowly bubbling inside her chest - feelings she couldn’t identify.
“I know and I’m sorry for pushing you. I guess I sometimes forget you’re not like everyone else.”
Cara didn’t dare to look up from their entangled hands, afraid of what she might find in those expressive blue eyes. “Is that a bad thing?” She asked softly, unable to stop herself.
Kahlan’s eyes lifted at the softly spoken words; there was a soft rustle as she moved slowly from her kneeling position to sit on the soft mattress, closer to Cara. Using her free hand, she cupped Cara’s cheek, marveling at silkiness of the golden skin, and gently forced her to look at her.
Cara’s eyes fluttered at the delicate touch and when she opened them again, she was caught completely in those warm, compassionate blue eyes. She knew she was exposed, her soul bared for the Confessor to probe for the second time since they met; she knew she should look away, hide herself, protect herself, but she was unable to. Again.
“No, it’s not a bad thing, Cara.” Her thumb moved slowly on its own accord against the warm skin - so soft and delicate. “Not at all. I… I like that you’re different from everyone else. I really like it that you let me see this side of you. Thank you, for trusting me.”
They stared at each other for what might have been several candle marks, immersing themselves in each other.
“You make it near impossible to hide from you, Confessor.” Cara had to look away, unnerved by their stare down. This was happening a lot too and she didn’t know how to deal with it; she didn’t know how to deal with any of it.
Kahlan forced out a low chuckle and swallowed, her eyes unwavering. “We both know I’m not that good, Cara; not when it comes to you. You purposely let me in. Somehow,” Kahlan’s hand slowly trailed from her cheek, sensitive fingertips tracing against her neck, down to her chest. The gentle, barely felt touch stopped and rested above her heart, an erratic heart beat thundering against the golden chest, “somehow I made myself worthy of your trust and that’s the most precious gift you could’ve ever given me.”
A hard swallow. “Can we talk about something else? Please?” Her voice was strained and rough with barely contained emotion, her eyes still glued at some point in the room. It was ridiculous, really. She was Mord’Sith, she didn’t have to put up with this!
Kahlan nodded and slowly pulled away, shakily returning her attention to the forgotten bowl. Forcing a smile back on her face, she held the bowl in front of her.
Cara rolled her eyes but complied by opening her mouth. Kahlan’s smile could’ve lit up the way to the underworld.
##
A slow, lazy smile stretched across full, pouty lips as she snuggled closer to her warm, breathing blanket, craving the contact and the sense of peace that always came with it. Strong, freckled arms held her close in a protective embrace and she felt more than heard the contented sigh against the back of her head. It felt…
A loud, angry growl shattered the blissful silence of the early morning and the body wrapped tightly against hers tensed in reaction.
Green-blue eyes opened, suddenly wide awake. “Am I in danger?” Cara rasped out, amused, her voice still heavy with recent sleep.
A groan escaped against her neck and she sensed Kahlan’s embarrassment as she buried her face against her neck. Another growl sounded, louder than the first, and she couldn’t hold back anymore and started to laugh softly. Kahlan almost forgot about her predicament; it was such a light and melodious sound, so completely unrelated to the blonde’s fierce demeanor, she was sure she was imagining it. She’d heard it before exactly twice, but it never once sounded like this, so carefree and real.
“Should I run for cover?” Cara teased softly. “Because I’m not sure I can move fast enough, with me being hurt and all.”
“It’s not funny!” Kahlan slapped her arm, mortally embarrassed. “We fell asleep before I could finish dinner. It’s your fault.” She remembered how she had helped the blonde back down on the bed, snuggling closer to her, her hand scratching her head lightly. She was hoping her new trick would work again and Cara would fall asleep; she just didn’t expect the warmth coming from the blonde to return the favor. She was asleep before she could even think about it.
“You’re right.” Cara took a careful deep breath and forced the amusement out of her voice. “We should get up and feed Beastie before he devours me.”
“Cara!” Kahlan growled in her ear, but couldn’t help the smile from tugging at the corners of her mouth. Cara was almost never this playful, and when she was, it was only when they were alone.
The Mord’Sith smiled easily, pleased with herself for discovering teasing material on Kahlan. It would be put to good use sooner or later. “Don’t worry, Confessor, it’ll be our little secret,” deliberately repeating Kahlan’s own words.
“Why do you have to make it sound like that?” Kahlan whined, her head sagging against Cara’s neck.
Cara frowned just a little. “Like what?”
“Like I’m going to regret it.”
“Heh!” She chuckled again, ignoring the tiny voice inside her head, dripping with sarcasm, telling her about how wonderful it was that she’d become this soft since joining the silly merry band of the Seeker; how nice it was that she was able to share a heartfelt laugh with her sworn enemy! It sounded suspiciously like Darken’s taunting voice.
Kahlan grinned and lifted herself slightly, supporting her head on her hand, so she could take a better look at the blonde. “How are you feeling?”
“Great. We can leave after breakfast,” Cara replied, her voice still full of mirth. She was in a good mood.
Kahlan narrowed her eyes, but decided not to insist. Cara would get out of bed and leave to Aydrindril today if she had to drag herself by the fingernails. And she was sure the good night's sleep had done its job, since she did look better than the day before and was actually in a good mood. She was glad that at least the nightmares hadn’t tormented her. “ Alright. I’m going to the kitchen to get us some breakfast.”
“We can join Richard and Zedd downstairs.” Cara cut her off smoothly.
Stubborn… “Cara, if I go downstairs for breakfast, we’ll never leave. More people will show up asking for an audience with me.” She let out a heavy sigh, hoping that would convince the blonde. “I was hoping for an early start.”
Cara narrowed her eyes suspiciously and looked over her shoulder, sure she was being played, but nodded her agreement. Kahlan nodded back forcing her smile to stay put.
“I’ll be right back,” Kahlan said, slowly disentangling herself from the blonde’s warm body.
Cara watched her go and exhaled. She needed to get up and put on her leathers, and forget about how cold she felt now that Kahlan was no longer pressing against her.
Pursing her lips in a thin line, she pushed back the blanket still covering her and shifted her legs to the edge of the bed. When her feet touched the cold, wooden floor, she pushed herself to a sitting position, careful not to jar her side. Happy that everything else seemed to be in working order, she dismissed the dizziness and the annoying little pains all over her body, and grabbed her leathers from the nightstand, where they rested neatly folded.
Alone and still dazed from lying flat on her back for almost two days, her mind started to wander to the day they arrived at the village and the events that led her to getting injured. She remembered trying to reassure the villagers about the raiders, but Richard had insisted on checking the woods for tracks and… Her brows furrowed in confusion, her movements pausing ever so slightly. She remembered being angry at Richard for leaving Kahlan unprotected and… It all became kinda fuzzy after that. There was a fight and… but… she couldn’t tell exactly… The memories were too quick, too fuzzy, too… Except for laughter; maniacal laughter… Mocking her, taunting her…
“Cara?”
Cara’s eyes slowly focused on the worried face of the Mother Confessor, kneeling in front of her. “He was mocking me… He…”
Kahlan blinked and touched her face, not sure she heard the whispered words correctly. “Who mocked you?”
“The one who attacked me… I…” her brows furrowed deeply, trying to remember, to force back those fleeting memories, but they kept eluding her.
“Do you remember what happened?” Kahlan’s other hand cupped the other side of her face and gently forced the blonde to focus on her. She had arrived at the room to see Cara sitting on the bed, her leathers already on, but the laces still undone, mumbling under her breath, a distant look in her eyes. The Mord’Sith didn’t even hear her come in.
“Yes… I mean, no. It’s…”
“Cara, you took a blow to the head. It’s normal that your thoughts are fuzzy right now. It will come to you.” Her left hand moved to the back of her head, slowly scratching the nape of her neck in a soothing motion. “What matters is that you’re safe. You both are.”
Cara just stared at her for the longest time, a strange expression on her face.
“Cara?”
Cara sighed and nodded. “I’ll remember it sooner or later.” Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Kahlan nodded back, her eyes never leaving the green-blues of the Mord’Sith. “Let me help you with those laces.”
For once, Cara didn’t argue and nodded her agreement.
Kahlan shot her a worried look but said nothing.
##
"Did you tell them we're waiting for them?" Cara let out slow, even breaths. After breakfast, they descended quietly to the stables, with Kahlan keeping a supportive arm around the Mord'Sith’s waist. The Confessor didn't ask if she needed help and the Mord'Sith didn't refuse when it was offered.
Kahlan helped her to climb up on her horse, keeping a steady hand on her leg. "Are you all right up there?"
"Yes," Cara said, her eyes still closed against the pain on her side and her throbbing leg, her voice strained. She was glad Kahlan had insisted on having breakfast in the room. She couldn’t bear the thought of Lord Rahl seeing this weakness of hers.
Kahlan nodded. "I'm glad we're taking the horses. I'd hate for you to have to walk all the way to Aydindril like this."
"I would manage." Cara gave her a meaningful stare. "Are they coming or not?"
"They'll be here in a moment, don't worry." Kahlan patted her leg and made her way to her horse, ignoring the glare. "Zedd is probably just finishing breakfast."
"He’s more likely ruining the innkeeper beyond salvation. Where he keeps all that food is a mystery that eludes even the Creator!"
Kahlan chuckled and gave her a fond look. She was so cute when she was grumpy and trying to pretend nothing was wrong.
“What?” Cara asked impatiently, noticing the look.
“Nothing.” Kahlan mounted her horse, the smile never leaving her lips. “Ready?”
Cara kept glaring and Kahlan kept smiling at her.
##