Hmmmm.. Haven't Updated In A While
I don't even think that anyone reads these anymore.. because who the hell would want to know about my pathetic life. I am dweeby and boring I spose.. which I why I can't get a damn man! LOL But that is ok.. because there have only been assholes so far... and I am sick of them.
I would like to apologize to two of my friends for never stating my opinion to them in the first place. I should have been truthful from the beginning and I guess that maybe if I told you what was in my head in the first place.. then maybe you wouldn't have ever been my friend at all. All I can say is that everyone has their own way of thinking and everyone forms different opinions... and I don't think that this makes a person hypocritical or dishonest. None of my opinions have been shared with the purpose of hurting anyone.. and if they have.. then that is my fault. But I am still the same person that I have been all along and I haven't changed at all. There are just some things that I don't make known because I don't feel they are something that needs to be shared because I know that it is something that no one but me and my family are going to understand.. because we all think the same way on this particular subject. I guess maybe this was one of those times that I should have just kept my big mouth shut... because I feel like I have damaged a level of trust that I had. But please know that I am always here.. and I will always be here to defend you or support you... no matter what I think about the situation.. because it is you I care about and not my opinions.
I would also like to thank Caspien for being so understanding and listening to me. I know that I have not been the best friend that I should be. And I know that there are alot of things that I do to annoy you and I just wish that you could say them to me and bring them up with me. I know that you have made a lot of progress and like I said.. I am going to make an attempt to just say something really nice when I get frustrated.. because that will make me feel better and it will make you feel better. I don't want to turn into a person that you hate or that you feel that you can't trust or that you can't talk to. Because you can always talk to me. I am always there to listen. And I may not understand... but I will do my best to try. I am never going to try and compare my life to yours because I know that our lives are similar in many areas.. but they are not the same and our experiences are different and we are two different people. I think that you have done a really good job in the last month of ridding yourseld of the negative influences in your life and that is a big step in the first part of happiness. Getting rid of the bad and surrounding yourself with the good. I could learn a little bit from that and try to do it myself.
Dean... I really do love you. And I am sorry if anything I said hurt you or made you look at me differently. I really don't want you to see me as someone who hates or is racist.. because that is not me. And maybe I just didn't do a very good job of explaining myself... but I'm not going to try for fear of just letting myself go deeper in. All I can say is that I love you and I really respect the way you think and I feel like I can talk to you about anything and you aren't going to judge me.. and I guess there is where the fault is.. because I think now that you think that I am going to judge you if you talk to me about certain things.. and that is definitely not the case. I have never tried to judge anyone but myself. But I can't take back what I said so I just have to trust that you will read this and still care about me.
Well.. I think that I have written alot for today and I think that it really does help to actually write something with meaning and stop just posting stupid test results! LOL I keep saying that I will try to write in this thing everyday.. and I never do.. LOL Well... I love you all and you all know who you are!
Hugzzzzzz and Kissesssssssssss,
Erin
I would like to apologize to two of my friends for never stating my opinion to them in the first place. I should have been truthful from the beginning and I guess that maybe if I told you what was in my head in the first place.. then maybe you wouldn't have ever been my friend at all. All I can say is that everyone has their own way of thinking and everyone forms different opinions... and I don't think that this makes a person hypocritical or dishonest. None of my opinions have been shared with the purpose of hurting anyone.. and if they have.. then that is my fault. But I am still the same person that I have been all along and I haven't changed at all. There are just some things that I don't make known because I don't feel they are something that needs to be shared because I know that it is something that no one but me and my family are going to understand.. because we all think the same way on this particular subject. I guess maybe this was one of those times that I should have just kept my big mouth shut... because I feel like I have damaged a level of trust that I had. But please know that I am always here.. and I will always be here to defend you or support you... no matter what I think about the situation.. because it is you I care about and not my opinions.
I would also like to thank Caspien for being so understanding and listening to me. I know that I have not been the best friend that I should be. And I know that there are alot of things that I do to annoy you and I just wish that you could say them to me and bring them up with me. I know that you have made a lot of progress and like I said.. I am going to make an attempt to just say something really nice when I get frustrated.. because that will make me feel better and it will make you feel better. I don't want to turn into a person that you hate or that you feel that you can't trust or that you can't talk to. Because you can always talk to me. I am always there to listen. And I may not understand... but I will do my best to try. I am never going to try and compare my life to yours because I know that our lives are similar in many areas.. but they are not the same and our experiences are different and we are two different people. I think that you have done a really good job in the last month of ridding yourseld of the negative influences in your life and that is a big step in the first part of happiness. Getting rid of the bad and surrounding yourself with the good. I could learn a little bit from that and try to do it myself.
Dean... I really do love you. And I am sorry if anything I said hurt you or made you look at me differently. I really don't want you to see me as someone who hates or is racist.. because that is not me. And maybe I just didn't do a very good job of explaining myself... but I'm not going to try for fear of just letting myself go deeper in. All I can say is that I love you and I really respect the way you think and I feel like I can talk to you about anything and you aren't going to judge me.. and I guess there is where the fault is.. because I think now that you think that I am going to judge you if you talk to me about certain things.. and that is definitely not the case. I have never tried to judge anyone but myself. But I can't take back what I said so I just have to trust that you will read this and still care about me.
Well.. I think that I have written alot for today and I think that it really does help to actually write something with meaning and stop just posting stupid test results! LOL I keep saying that I will try to write in this thing everyday.. and I never do.. LOL Well... I love you all and you all know who you are!
Hugzzzzzz and Kissesssssssssss,
Erin