Her Faith Is My Happiness
Frankly speaking, I wouldn't be so surprised, even if Aunt Olive turned into an evil witch and flew away to Veronaville on a magic broom, together with her helper cat. For the first time in my life I saw real happiness on my cousin Nervous' face, and it seemed unreal. I couldn't believe this guy with deep brown eyes, full of sorrow, and thin, seemingly tortured body shape is able to smile. I never thought that he could joke. Tell funny stories to me and my aunt - his mother, over a cup of warm tea. To be proud of his successes, even if they were little. Since I remember him, he was always lost. It felt like the big thunder cloud haunted him everywhere. And no matter how he tried, there wasn't a single ray of sun. He didn't like complaining, but it was even worse, because if you keep everything that torments you inside, it's like a big heavy stone in your soul. Disgusting feeling. I knew that he needs support, and asked him to share his problems with me, listened carefully, tried to help. Hugging him, I tried to explain that my situation is even worse, because I'm an orphan and am not very close with Olive. But still, my peers are tolerant. They never made me feel needless because of parents' loss and sensitive personality. I met wonderful guys who became a real family for me. Now Johnny is the one who I can't imagine my life without, and it's mutual. Ripp understands me like no one else because of life situation. And Jill - she's like a little sister that I always felt a lack of. Nervous didn't have any friends. Moreover, in the boarding school, where he used to study, people always hurt him physically and mentally, calling him ugly, stupid, unworthy. Of course, now it's very hard even for me to persuade him he's not...
He was standing on the porch, murmuring some nice melody and looking at the sky. I don't know why, but I felt the real desire to talk to him. I was curious what's the true reason of his unexpected change. Is it exactly what I think?
"The stars are beautiful today," I whispered, pulling his T-shirt's sleeve gently.
"Yeah, they are," he smiled shyly again, and I was ready to swear that I noticed unbelievable happiness, life thirst in his eyes. At the same time a year ago, I had a hard time dealing with his suicidal thoughts...
"You never were... like you are now,, I said the thing that was on my mind for so long. He turned to me and looked into my eyes.
"Is it that obvious?" he giggled.
"What's going on, Ner? Tell me at last!" I was almost jumping with impatience. Then, I added in a quieter voice:
"Did you fall in love?"
He took a long breath, enjoying the fresh, gentle wind, then looked at me again and nodded. His eyes were shining. It seemed to me that he's the one who lights the night sky. He and his feelings, not the millions of cold stars. I could understand without words that he's in love with someone.
"Tell me about her," I asked. I was really interested who is the girl that brought Nervous back to life.
"Well..." he started. "You know, she's a lot like you. Kind, honest and brave."
"I don't think I can be called brave," I laughed. "I'm literally shivering after every rustling. And insects scare me to death."
"You think she doesn't scream when she sees a spider?" Nervous asked. "Believe me, she is. Her bravery is hidden in something else. She's... so beautiful. She's got natural light hair, emerald eyes, lovely lips, perfect body. She could choose anyone. I'm sure all the worthy people would love to date her. But she chose me. A bony and not really handsome guy. And she says that she's going to make me better every day, fight my lack of self-confidence. I still can't understand why is she doing it. But I'll always be thankful to her, because she appeared at the moment, when I completely lost hope that someone can accept me for who I really am."
"I understand her," I said, wrapping my arms around Nervous. "I don't know her personally, but it's obvious she's a wonderful lady. Only people like this can see beauty in those who are hiding in their shells. She deserves respect, because she didn't listen to those who abused you earlier. She's listening only to her own heart."
"Like you?" Nervous asked playfully, guessing my hidden thoughts.
"I think yeah," I sighed. "Johnny isn't an ordinary middlestatistic guy. But do I care? I love him. And I find his skin colour attractive."
"Are you trying to say that... she likes thin ugly fools?" Nervous asked thoughtfully.
"Love can't be forced," I answered. "And don't you dare to speak this way about yourself. You're sincere and generous. You're real."
"She told me the same thing," I saw some tears in his eyes, and I came closer, pulling him into a hug.
"Ophelia..." he whispered.
"Yeah, darling?" I replied.
"People are starting to believe in me. At last," he looked up, and the wind dried his wet eyes.
"I really want to say thanks to her," I said silently. "She did the impossible thing. She gave you wings. Opened you. And now, I can stop worrying for you. You're not alone. You're in safe hands."
"She's the one who never disregards me, since the very first meeting I felt like we're equal," he told with inspiration. "And yeah, you're right. I'm not alone. For the first time I felt what it means to be happy."
I didn't want this moment to end. He shared his new energy with me. All the moments spent with Johnny reappeared in my head. I wanted to see him, to hug him and tell how much I appreciate him, how much I believe in him and us. I had an obvious example what can support and love do to a person. And I wanted to thank this girl from all my heart for becoming his angel, his meaning of life. I knew that he'll become better and fight his uncertainty for her.
"What's her name?" I asked, having a feeling it's a strong name.
"Erin," he closed his eyes, smiling. "Erin Beaker. Erin Ingibjorg Beaker."
"Ner," I said. "Can I ask you something?"
"If I can fulfill your wish, then yeah, you can," he looked at me with interest.
"Of course, there's nothing difficult," I insisted. "Just... tell Erin, that she's amazing. Tell her I think so. Just these words. Nothing more."
It's hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There's no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words tonight
Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky's a different blue
Cross my heart
I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies
Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me
Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words tonight
Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
When I couldn't fly
Oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
