Quiet Day
So, yesterday was my grandfathers 70th birthday and we had a surprise party for him. I didn't stay very long, because unfortunately, I find myself still not very trusting or happy with my grandmother. Dear God, I really hope that when I get old, I don't become a person that is difficult to love or trust. It could just be that generation, but maybe that's what happens to us all in the end, you become unable to do things for yourself, so you become a pain in the ass to everyone around you. How frustrating, to have nothing to do with your day so you spend it bothering the hell out of everyone you know, and then getting upset when they can't drop everything to be at your beck and call. I guess that sounds awful, but that's the way I have been feeling lately. I mean I walked into the camp yesterday, and she thought I would quite happily drive back out to get her a loaf of bread, which would not have been a huge deal, had she asked me, rather than just assumed that I would do as I was told. It was infuriating and frustrating to be treated like I was a child. That woman, whom I am supposed to respect because she is my elder, I can barely stand and no longer trust. How sad, because family is the only thing you have in this life that remains constant.
My aunt, whom I work with at Canada Post, and who happens to be the biggest conniver I know, stirred the pot up the other day. In short she wrote me a note and told me that she thought the most ungrateful people in her life were her daughter and her husband, however I had proved her wrong, and I have become the most ungrateful person she knows. It hurt, and the story is a long one. Basically, she wants my job, it all boils down to money. She went away two weeks ago, was only supposed to be gone a few days, but stayed a week instead, no thought as to who would have to cover her shift on the days she did not return. I covered the shift, which meant I made wages for three extra days. Rather than fight with her because of her choice to lose those days, I said not to worry, she could work for me the next two weeks, leaving me short one day on my pay, of which we would work out in the end, because she's always running to the doctor. It turns out, I didn't need that two week break in money, because my unemployment has already begun, so I went in and claimed some sick time for the period I did not work.
It pissed her off, because she feels like I was using her, no doing. I'm still the one short one day wages on my next pay, and she had the nerve to send me a note, like we were back in high school, and tell me I was an ungrateful brat. What kind of woman tells someone that she thought the most ungrateful people in her life were her husband and daughter? Jesus! People like that really drain me of who I am. I don't know how to shut those emotions down. Words really should not hurt this bad.
I went for the second interview, and found my inner tiger, so we'll see. The woman who held the interview was short and rude with me, perhaps that was part of the ploy, or she was just having a bad day. She was upset that the interview was on a Saturday morning, a busy day for them I guess, and she treated me like I was a country bum. You know, saying I couldn't possibly understand busy, as I worked in a small area, and couldn't possibly understand the concept of customer relations, because in a big city, you don't get personally involved with customers. What would I know, I just have the ability to make friends all over the world, often in mere moments. I also happened to work there for eleven years, but hey. So, I believe that I held my own, and if they offer me the job, which I'll know in a few days, and offer the money I want, then I'll be working again. If not, I'm going to volunteer at the school, and hope to gain the needed experience to achieve my dream of working with children.
As for Chris, I don't know. I really hate not knowing. I'm confused by what it's like to be a parent. He only gets to see his son one night during the week, and on the weekends. He holds down two jobs, that keeps him really busy, and so maybe I'm not going to fit into his world. Time will tell I suppose. I want to fit into his world, I have the patience to make this work. I'm not afraid that it will be hard, but I'm just not sure. It's hard to explain, when I'm with him, I want to tell him everything that goes through my head, and yet, he makes me feel like there's nothing I need to worry about, because he sees this incredibly strong, confident, driven woman. He has faith in me, unconditionally and without strings. My girlfriend Anna has always had that faith. I'm starting to find that woman within. Anyhow, I'm sure whoever is reading this is tired by now, so I'll close this random thought, for now.
My aunt, whom I work with at Canada Post, and who happens to be the biggest conniver I know, stirred the pot up the other day. In short she wrote me a note and told me that she thought the most ungrateful people in her life were her daughter and her husband, however I had proved her wrong, and I have become the most ungrateful person she knows. It hurt, and the story is a long one. Basically, she wants my job, it all boils down to money. She went away two weeks ago, was only supposed to be gone a few days, but stayed a week instead, no thought as to who would have to cover her shift on the days she did not return. I covered the shift, which meant I made wages for three extra days. Rather than fight with her because of her choice to lose those days, I said not to worry, she could work for me the next two weeks, leaving me short one day on my pay, of which we would work out in the end, because she's always running to the doctor. It turns out, I didn't need that two week break in money, because my unemployment has already begun, so I went in and claimed some sick time for the period I did not work.
It pissed her off, because she feels like I was using her, no doing. I'm still the one short one day wages on my next pay, and she had the nerve to send me a note, like we were back in high school, and tell me I was an ungrateful brat. What kind of woman tells someone that she thought the most ungrateful people in her life were her husband and daughter? Jesus! People like that really drain me of who I am. I don't know how to shut those emotions down. Words really should not hurt this bad.
I went for the second interview, and found my inner tiger, so we'll see. The woman who held the interview was short and rude with me, perhaps that was part of the ploy, or she was just having a bad day. She was upset that the interview was on a Saturday morning, a busy day for them I guess, and she treated me like I was a country bum. You know, saying I couldn't possibly understand busy, as I worked in a small area, and couldn't possibly understand the concept of customer relations, because in a big city, you don't get personally involved with customers. What would I know, I just have the ability to make friends all over the world, often in mere moments. I also happened to work there for eleven years, but hey. So, I believe that I held my own, and if they offer me the job, which I'll know in a few days, and offer the money I want, then I'll be working again. If not, I'm going to volunteer at the school, and hope to gain the needed experience to achieve my dream of working with children.
As for Chris, I don't know. I really hate not knowing. I'm confused by what it's like to be a parent. He only gets to see his son one night during the week, and on the weekends. He holds down two jobs, that keeps him really busy, and so maybe I'm not going to fit into his world. Time will tell I suppose. I want to fit into his world, I have the patience to make this work. I'm not afraid that it will be hard, but I'm just not sure. It's hard to explain, when I'm with him, I want to tell him everything that goes through my head, and yet, he makes me feel like there's nothing I need to worry about, because he sees this incredibly strong, confident, driven woman. He has faith in me, unconditionally and without strings. My girlfriend Anna has always had that faith. I'm starting to find that woman within. Anyhow, I'm sure whoever is reading this is tired by now, so I'll close this random thought, for now.