(no subject)
I'm pretty happy right now.. in this state of confusion :)
He is SUCH a nice guy-- everyone will tell you that-- but I'm afraid that he's just not for me. I don't get it-- I find someone great and then I get too scared and I just leave. I really think it's because of my past relationships which have caused me to become really insecure about myself... (who's hasn't?)
I used to feel like I was being put down ALL the time... that whenever I made myself feel better, I got knocked down. Now, I feel better about myself and there is no one to knock me down-- but when I get compliments, I never believe them.
I'm insecure about the way that I look to the point that I put on make-up WHENEVER I walk out the door--I used to not be like that. I don't want to at all anymore-- but honestly, I can't do it.
I'm going to counseling for all these silly issues... and I can feel myself getting better already, but I just need to relax with everything and not be so scared about what people think of me-- I know that I'm a good person... I know that I'm fun to be around... I know that I am somewhat attractive... I know that my real friends love me (most of the time.. lol)-- but really.. all that is so hard for me to say and believe...
I just need to get me fixed.
He is SUCH a nice guy-- everyone will tell you that-- but I'm afraid that he's just not for me. I don't get it-- I find someone great and then I get too scared and I just leave. I really think it's because of my past relationships which have caused me to become really insecure about myself... (who's hasn't?)
I used to feel like I was being put down ALL the time... that whenever I made myself feel better, I got knocked down. Now, I feel better about myself and there is no one to knock me down-- but when I get compliments, I never believe them.
I'm insecure about the way that I look to the point that I put on make-up WHENEVER I walk out the door--I used to not be like that. I don't want to at all anymore-- but honestly, I can't do it.
I'm going to counseling for all these silly issues... and I can feel myself getting better already, but I just need to relax with everything and not be so scared about what people think of me-- I know that I'm a good person... I know that I'm fun to be around... I know that I am somewhat attractive... I know that my real friends love me (most of the time.. lol)-- but really.. all that is so hard for me to say and believe...
I just need to get me fixed.