Communication [OR the Lack Thereof]
Life AFTER Graduation... *so cliche, I know* Before I vanish into thin air & turn-up m.i.a... I might as well leave behind a little corner-stone at this time in my life. I hate goodbyes, but I'm sure a little bit a closure couldn't hurt. Not much has changed since graduation... different town, everyday is exactly the same, same friends, new school, different summer job, new adventures to be had, and finally settling down with the love of my life. I sincerely miss Adrian everyday. My friends, my professors, the campus, the classes, the beauty of a small secluded old town. Wait... I get to relive all that in the fall at CMU. I can't deny that I'm a little curious, and even a bit more excited to experience a brand new life all over again. Only I fear that the totally amazing life I made for myself in Adrian might slip away even farther as I move on in my education & career. Adrian sometimes feels like a dream now. It's been interesting adjusting to graduate life, to say the very least.
| Off to CMU in 24 days to begin my Master's studies on Film Theory // Criticism // Analysis. Basically, Communications has always drove my week. Media studies, pop culture, communication analysis a crude definition of what I could spend the rest of my career investigating & defining. But in all sincerity, Film is my passion. To study film, it's best to have a broad & vast understanding of all the other mediums of communication I already love studying. So going on to study my masters is only the next right step towards the end goal of directing & producing in the film industry. So I guess I'm on the right path to building my career... I'm just taking the scenic route in a very casual & academic manner.
|| And finally, I have a love that could stop the world from spinning. After truly feeling jaded about the whole one life, one love romance stories of fiction... I think I actually found that undeniable, stand the test of time, sweep me off my feet, & fearless free-falling, beautiful to the point of being speechless, love of my life. Nothing else matters to me when I'm safe in his arms. The world could happily come to its demise & I'd never be the wiser. He proved me wrong about everything I ever thought I knew of love. He took my sad realization that true love was only for fairytales & little girls and made a fool of my bitter little self. His smile & eyes could stop my heart. And I couldn't be happier knowing that in spite of all our education & responsibility combined, and honest ability to reason with the incredibly fuct world surrounding us, we laugh in the face of all of the rules of life & love as we fearlessly break all the rules together. Everything anyone ever said about society's set regulations regarding "those fools who rush in" we've disregarded as ignorant, jaded, and patheticly lonesome rantings. Our arrogance is beautiful in a bonny & clyde type of way. I've finally met my match.
||| Briefly, I guess I'll mention that I hate my job & I'm an idiot for settling for less that I'm deserving. A buck is a buck & I'll work if only to keep gas in my car & cigarette in hand... but seriously, I'd rather not. And on a bizarre side-note... you won't be seeing my face prancing around any clubs in the detroit realms for a very, and I mean very, long time. Tis true that I've let the asshole win this one & deny me my beloved detroit... BUT honestly, MY LIFE IS NOT A DAY-TIME SOAP. I HATE DRAMA. I couldn't care less about gossip & whatever people might say regarding me or my ex, or my boyfriend... Words don't hurt me. I know what's true & what is not... thankfully so do the people I love. BUT I WILL NOT waltz into a situation that is going to put me in danger or cause drama. (For those not in the loop... MY EX is a PSYCHOTIC ASSHOLE who severely needs a lesson in reality. I was up at the club, minding my own business with my friends and my boyfriend when HE VERBALLY & PHYSICALLY ATTACKED ME. There are witnesses & I have considered pressing charges. No joke.) Sadly, at the end of the day, I feel this utterly sickening feeling in my gut that much of this could have been avoided, had I NOT ALLOWED myself to be dubbed the ENDENTURED-GIRLFRIEND to a slave-driving lunatic who desperately needs mental help. So, I cringe at the thought that the drama was in part my fault for letting myself fall victim to this situation. The last comment I have to say on the matter... I will make no drama in association with my name, ever. Therefore there is not one motherfucker in this world that I will ever let get away with any form of abuse to me or my loved ones, ever again. Period.
It feels rather comforting to get that off my chest. But with that, I'll put my thoughts to a close. If you got my number, then you know I'd enjoy catching up before I bury myself in books. I'm on MYSPACE less frequently than ever, but that's more than I can say for my LJ. If you got the time, leave me some love.
All be back around the next blue moon...
Ms. EriN Elaine XXII
| Off to CMU in 24 days to begin my Master's studies on Film Theory // Criticism // Analysis. Basically, Communications has always drove my week. Media studies, pop culture, communication analysis a crude definition of what I could spend the rest of my career investigating & defining. But in all sincerity, Film is my passion. To study film, it's best to have a broad & vast understanding of all the other mediums of communication I already love studying. So going on to study my masters is only the next right step towards the end goal of directing & producing in the film industry. So I guess I'm on the right path to building my career... I'm just taking the scenic route in a very casual & academic manner.
|| And finally, I have a love that could stop the world from spinning. After truly feeling jaded about the whole one life, one love romance stories of fiction... I think I actually found that undeniable, stand the test of time, sweep me off my feet, & fearless free-falling, beautiful to the point of being speechless, love of my life. Nothing else matters to me when I'm safe in his arms. The world could happily come to its demise & I'd never be the wiser. He proved me wrong about everything I ever thought I knew of love. He took my sad realization that true love was only for fairytales & little girls and made a fool of my bitter little self. His smile & eyes could stop my heart. And I couldn't be happier knowing that in spite of all our education & responsibility combined, and honest ability to reason with the incredibly fuct world surrounding us, we laugh in the face of all of the rules of life & love as we fearlessly break all the rules together. Everything anyone ever said about society's set regulations regarding "those fools who rush in" we've disregarded as ignorant, jaded, and patheticly lonesome rantings. Our arrogance is beautiful in a bonny & clyde type of way. I've finally met my match.
||| Briefly, I guess I'll mention that I hate my job & I'm an idiot for settling for less that I'm deserving. A buck is a buck & I'll work if only to keep gas in my car & cigarette in hand... but seriously, I'd rather not. And on a bizarre side-note... you won't be seeing my face prancing around any clubs in the detroit realms for a very, and I mean very, long time. Tis true that I've let the asshole win this one & deny me my beloved detroit... BUT honestly, MY LIFE IS NOT A DAY-TIME SOAP. I HATE DRAMA. I couldn't care less about gossip & whatever people might say regarding me or my ex, or my boyfriend... Words don't hurt me. I know what's true & what is not... thankfully so do the people I love. BUT I WILL NOT waltz into a situation that is going to put me in danger or cause drama. (For those not in the loop... MY EX is a PSYCHOTIC ASSHOLE who severely needs a lesson in reality. I was up at the club, minding my own business with my friends and my boyfriend when HE VERBALLY & PHYSICALLY ATTACKED ME. There are witnesses & I have considered pressing charges. No joke.) Sadly, at the end of the day, I feel this utterly sickening feeling in my gut that much of this could have been avoided, had I NOT ALLOWED myself to be dubbed the ENDENTURED-GIRLFRIEND to a slave-driving lunatic who desperately needs mental help. So, I cringe at the thought that the drama was in part my fault for letting myself fall victim to this situation. The last comment I have to say on the matter... I will make no drama in association with my name, ever. Therefore there is not one motherfucker in this world that I will ever let get away with any form of abuse to me or my loved ones, ever again. Period.
It feels rather comforting to get that off my chest. But with that, I'll put my thoughts to a close. If you got my number, then you know I'd enjoy catching up before I bury myself in books. I'm on MYSPACE less frequently than ever, but that's more than I can say for my LJ. If you got the time, leave me some love.
All be back around the next blue moon...
Ms. EriN Elaine XXII