the gift
Title: The Gift
Fandom: ATS
Pairings: Cordelia/Angel, and Spike/Angel.
Warnings: Some angst but a some what hopeful ending. Spoilers for Angel after the Fall.
Summary: Angel considers what he has left of the past and his future.
"You know I haven't had too many nice Christmas memories. Not that that would surprise you I'm sure." He gave a fond smile to his companion. "My father made it clear each year after Kathy was born what a waste of space I was. With Darla it had been fun at the time but with the soul it's what you called "brood-a-thon material". Then that snowy Christmas in Sunnydale--which actually isn't as great once you think about it. Wanting to kill Buffy and then trying to commit suicide isn't quite the sort of memories you want to share. Which would be the point where you ask me why I'm sharing these cheerful things with you, right?"
Angels' smile faltered at the prone woman lying against the white sheets. He hated hospitals and even more he hated seeing such a strong, energetic woman, his best friend trapped. The woman that he had loved for the past few years. He had thought that he had time to tell Cordelia how he felt but the words refused to come. Love had burned him before and she was the one who had finally gotten him out of his shell. She was so talented with words of inspiration as she was with witty retorts. He would never be able to express his feelings without stumbling over his tongue. Now it was too late and he had failed her.
"I did have fun with you guys, my first real Christmas memories were of you yelling at Wesley to stop being an idiot and for me to get my ass out of the dark since we were dining out. You helped remind me what it's like to be human again. To be part of a family. We're still together--Lornes' planning a get together with everyone tonight." Here Angel sighed heavily. "Even a certain bleached blond that I could do without. I know Lorne means well but it's just not the same without you Cordy. We're trapped within the belly of the beast ignoring the dangers around us. Worse it's become the status quo. This isn't the good fight. It's dirty and we're all being tainted by it. It's not what Doyle died for, it's not what you...it's not what you want either."
His thumb stroked her hand finding comfort in the pulse. It would have to be enough for now. Fred would find a way to save her. Saving the girl was what all heroes did, right?
"Merry Christmas Cordy." Angel whispered planting a kiss onto her lips even though he knew by now that no kiss could magically wake the princess up.
The party at his penthouse hadn't measured up to his memories of their other past Christmas parties at the time. Like many things though it was thought of fondly after the fact once he had lost what he had that year. Wesley became slightly drunk after a call from his parents asking an amused Lorne about demons sexuality. Gunn had arrived in great spirits from his lastest vampire lair dusting and had some how started an intense argument with Wesley about vampires being bisexual. The black man had dismissed the idea saying he really didn't want to know what crap his friend was talking about. The humans missed the vampires shifting uncomfortably in the seats at this.
Fred was lovely managing the impossible--getting Spike and Angel to behave around each other. It was slightly less tense and luckily no brawls broke out. That had been a life time ago. Since then Angel had lost all of his human friends. There were trances of them to be certain--Freds' body storing an old one--Wesleys' spirit--and the soulless Gunn. He had been both grateful and saddened that Cordelia had nothing of her self to live on. The one vision had come and gone. Now both Cordelia and Doyle were truly gone.
Connor and him were coming along nicely which was more than he could hope for. But their celebration had been cut short and now he found himself staring at an equally depressed Spike. Wordlessly Angel accepted the bottle pondering how it had come to this. Another thought made him question if Spike had ever had what he had. Sure the blond had liked Angels' friends but he hadn't known them like he had. For an instant he found himself staring in wonder at the other souled vampire. Spike was stronger than he gave him credit for. When blue eyes met his the darker vampire felt a sense of connection that he had never felt before. Not even after the Dana incident.
Judging by the sharp intake of breath Spike felt it too. Running on pure instinct his lips descended on the other mans'. An oddly familiar jolt passed through him only to be ignored. Whatever it was could not be as important as kissing this other man. Clothes were removed, touches were tender and kisses were present. They made love for the first time. Sex had happened in the past but it had never been like this. Drifting off with another body covering his Angel smiled for the first time in ages.
When he woke to a sweet kiss he frowned in confusion. It didn't feel like Spike kissing him it felt like--"Cordelia!"
"Yep in the flesh--so to speak." She was as beautiful as ever in what looked like a designer white dress. He expected no less from her, only she could get that to fly in heaven. "Merry Christmas big guy. Got to say this is a hell of a season greetings." She smirked at Spike nude form sprawled out over Angel in tangled sheets.
"Oh shit!" Angel hissed.
"Oh please, it's not like I didn't catch the act. Which by the way was pretty impressive. Never knew blondie there had it in him. I usually got distracted by the hair."
"You came to see me with Spike?"
"Well that wasn't the reason but I'll consider it a nice bonus." Cordelia smiled down at him fondly. "I had to let you know that you haven't lost the Powers. We're all behind you, Angel."
"Then why did they let you go? You were my link, my friend. I love--"
"I know. I do too. Like I told you last time I'm not on that road anymore. I passed that link onto you and it's time to move on. To keep kicking ass."
His brow furrowed. "I only had one vision and I knew that was all I would have. I can't still have them."
She rolled her eyes. "You were never supposed to have them pass the one Angel. I never wanted that for you but...things didn't go as planned that day. Part of my--" Cordelia air quoted "essence" over Spikes' snort in his sleep "--was taken that day. It's been dormant since then and you just set up the trigger." She paused considering her words. "So to speak."
"What does that mean?" Spike rolled to his side and then he knew. On the day Cordelia had come back Spike had somehow bitten her to test her blood. That night Angel had kissed Spike and...oh crap.
"Oh crap."
"Yeah, basically. Spike is going to be your guide now whether he wants to be or not. But most important? He's going to need you, buddy. So don't give him any of the crap you usually do or push him away. Got it?"
Numbly Angel nodded not daring to defy Cordelia. He never could.
"Good." She planted a kiss on his lips which they shared for a moment. "Merry Christmas, Angel."
"Merry Christmas, Cordelia."
"Bloody hell!" Spike yelled leaping upright, by the time Angel glanced back to where Cordelia had been she was gone.
"Shh," Angel hushed gathering the blond into his arms. "I got you."
"Was terrible...had you beaten to a bloody pulp...shaved your head...and sold you into slavery." Spike panted.
"It's okay, we'll stop whatever is coming our way." They would because he now realized that he wasn't alone anymore. Cordelia was right, they needed each other and together nothing could stop them.
"Wait...did you say they shaved off my hair?" His hand went to his un-gelled hair in panic.
"Nice to know you remember what's sodding important."
"Yeah, I do." He planted a kiss to Spikes' temple while assuring himself that they still had time to make sure he didn't become bald.
Fandom: ATS
Pairings: Cordelia/Angel, and Spike/Angel.
Warnings: Some angst but a some what hopeful ending. Spoilers for Angel after the Fall.
Summary: Angel considers what he has left of the past and his future.
"You know I haven't had too many nice Christmas memories. Not that that would surprise you I'm sure." He gave a fond smile to his companion. "My father made it clear each year after Kathy was born what a waste of space I was. With Darla it had been fun at the time but with the soul it's what you called "brood-a-thon material". Then that snowy Christmas in Sunnydale--which actually isn't as great once you think about it. Wanting to kill Buffy and then trying to commit suicide isn't quite the sort of memories you want to share. Which would be the point where you ask me why I'm sharing these cheerful things with you, right?"
Angels' smile faltered at the prone woman lying against the white sheets. He hated hospitals and even more he hated seeing such a strong, energetic woman, his best friend trapped. The woman that he had loved for the past few years. He had thought that he had time to tell Cordelia how he felt but the words refused to come. Love had burned him before and she was the one who had finally gotten him out of his shell. She was so talented with words of inspiration as she was with witty retorts. He would never be able to express his feelings without stumbling over his tongue. Now it was too late and he had failed her.
"I did have fun with you guys, my first real Christmas memories were of you yelling at Wesley to stop being an idiot and for me to get my ass out of the dark since we were dining out. You helped remind me what it's like to be human again. To be part of a family. We're still together--Lornes' planning a get together with everyone tonight." Here Angel sighed heavily. "Even a certain bleached blond that I could do without. I know Lorne means well but it's just not the same without you Cordy. We're trapped within the belly of the beast ignoring the dangers around us. Worse it's become the status quo. This isn't the good fight. It's dirty and we're all being tainted by it. It's not what Doyle died for, it's not what you...it's not what you want either."
His thumb stroked her hand finding comfort in the pulse. It would have to be enough for now. Fred would find a way to save her. Saving the girl was what all heroes did, right?
"Merry Christmas Cordy." Angel whispered planting a kiss onto her lips even though he knew by now that no kiss could magically wake the princess up.
The party at his penthouse hadn't measured up to his memories of their other past Christmas parties at the time. Like many things though it was thought of fondly after the fact once he had lost what he had that year. Wesley became slightly drunk after a call from his parents asking an amused Lorne about demons sexuality. Gunn had arrived in great spirits from his lastest vampire lair dusting and had some how started an intense argument with Wesley about vampires being bisexual. The black man had dismissed the idea saying he really didn't want to know what crap his friend was talking about. The humans missed the vampires shifting uncomfortably in the seats at this.
Fred was lovely managing the impossible--getting Spike and Angel to behave around each other. It was slightly less tense and luckily no brawls broke out. That had been a life time ago. Since then Angel had lost all of his human friends. There were trances of them to be certain--Freds' body storing an old one--Wesleys' spirit--and the soulless Gunn. He had been both grateful and saddened that Cordelia had nothing of her self to live on. The one vision had come and gone. Now both Cordelia and Doyle were truly gone.
Connor and him were coming along nicely which was more than he could hope for. But their celebration had been cut short and now he found himself staring at an equally depressed Spike. Wordlessly Angel accepted the bottle pondering how it had come to this. Another thought made him question if Spike had ever had what he had. Sure the blond had liked Angels' friends but he hadn't known them like he had. For an instant he found himself staring in wonder at the other souled vampire. Spike was stronger than he gave him credit for. When blue eyes met his the darker vampire felt a sense of connection that he had never felt before. Not even after the Dana incident.
Judging by the sharp intake of breath Spike felt it too. Running on pure instinct his lips descended on the other mans'. An oddly familiar jolt passed through him only to be ignored. Whatever it was could not be as important as kissing this other man. Clothes were removed, touches were tender and kisses were present. They made love for the first time. Sex had happened in the past but it had never been like this. Drifting off with another body covering his Angel smiled for the first time in ages.
When he woke to a sweet kiss he frowned in confusion. It didn't feel like Spike kissing him it felt like--"Cordelia!"
"Yep in the flesh--so to speak." She was as beautiful as ever in what looked like a designer white dress. He expected no less from her, only she could get that to fly in heaven. "Merry Christmas big guy. Got to say this is a hell of a season greetings." She smirked at Spike nude form sprawled out over Angel in tangled sheets.
"Oh shit!" Angel hissed.
"Oh please, it's not like I didn't catch the act. Which by the way was pretty impressive. Never knew blondie there had it in him. I usually got distracted by the hair."
"You came to see me with Spike?"
"Well that wasn't the reason but I'll consider it a nice bonus." Cordelia smiled down at him fondly. "I had to let you know that you haven't lost the Powers. We're all behind you, Angel."
"Then why did they let you go? You were my link, my friend. I love--"
"I know. I do too. Like I told you last time I'm not on that road anymore. I passed that link onto you and it's time to move on. To keep kicking ass."
His brow furrowed. "I only had one vision and I knew that was all I would have. I can't still have them."
She rolled her eyes. "You were never supposed to have them pass the one Angel. I never wanted that for you but...things didn't go as planned that day. Part of my--" Cordelia air quoted "essence" over Spikes' snort in his sleep "--was taken that day. It's been dormant since then and you just set up the trigger." She paused considering her words. "So to speak."
"What does that mean?" Spike rolled to his side and then he knew. On the day Cordelia had come back Spike had somehow bitten her to test her blood. That night Angel had kissed Spike and...oh crap.
"Oh crap."
"Yeah, basically. Spike is going to be your guide now whether he wants to be or not. But most important? He's going to need you, buddy. So don't give him any of the crap you usually do or push him away. Got it?"
Numbly Angel nodded not daring to defy Cordelia. He never could.
"Good." She planted a kiss on his lips which they shared for a moment. "Merry Christmas, Angel."
"Merry Christmas, Cordelia."
"Bloody hell!" Spike yelled leaping upright, by the time Angel glanced back to where Cordelia had been she was gone.
"Shh," Angel hushed gathering the blond into his arms. "I got you."
"Was terrible...had you beaten to a bloody pulp...shaved your head...and sold you into slavery." Spike panted.
"It's okay, we'll stop whatever is coming our way." They would because he now realized that he wasn't alone anymore. Cordelia was right, they needed each other and together nothing could stop them.
"Wait...did you say they shaved off my hair?" His hand went to his un-gelled hair in panic.
"Nice to know you remember what's sodding important."
"Yeah, I do." He planted a kiss to Spikes' temple while assuring himself that they still had time to make sure he didn't become bald.