Stages of Grief Part 4
Title: Stages of Grief Part 4
Fandom: MC2
Spoilers: For Spider-Girl The End.
Summary: Darkdevil didn't know how to feel when he heard the news from Spider-Girl.
Depression
Thanks to the demon inside of him things were looking worse for Reilly. Self loathing wasn't something he liked to wallow in but it couldn't be helped. Everywhere he looked there seemed to be something to remind him of his failures. At work Normie showed up to update them on the clone situation. The buyers had been found, happily the case (if one could even be made out of this mess) was given to one of Mr. Nelsons' higher ups which meant Reilly didn't have to deal with it anymore. But that didn't stop Normie from going on about it for two hours. Maybe it was the guilt from hitting Parker that gave him the strength he needed to restrain himself. As much as he wanted to excuse himself for the day Normie refused to take a hint and suggested that the three of them have lunch at his moms' favorite place. Mr. Nelson liked that idea claiming Reilly would love the place. It wasn't what he expected.
It wasn't the sort of glamorous five star restaurant that left the kid that used to sleep on the street gaping in amazement. Liz Osborn apparently preferred the simpler things in life as it was just a coffee shop. "Mom used to come here with dad, Uncle Pete and Auntie M all the time." Normie informed gesturing to a corner booth. "I always thought it was funny that none of them were together at the time."
From what Kaine had told him Reilly could piece bits and pieces of that past. It always struck him odd to try to picture Peter Parker as a kid when he was sort of his father. Reilly wouldn't exist without the other man because Ben Reilly wouldn't have been created without him. Now "Uncle Pete" had a demonic nephew of his clone and would likely hate him more if he knew. Sometimes he liked to imagine what his life would be like if they knew. But Zarathos was right about one thing: he'd never be accepted. Any hope of that died with April. If Peter couldn't accept the clone of his daughter than what chance did he have?
They ordered sandwiches as step-father and son discussed all the memories this place held for their lost loved one. He had to wonder if it was really worth all the heartache to let someone into your life. It had never worked out for him and he hardly needed anymore complications. Once he had thought that May would be welcoming even if she needed time to adjust to the idea. But maybe he had just been fooling himself. The girl that protected killers and believed in redemption thought there was a possibility that he was a murderer waiting to happen. If that didn't make him feel low enough Parker had to rub in how much he was loathed. Not that he even considered himself a lovable person. No, he'd never make that mistake. He just wanted to have a chance and he realized he never even had that. Hadn't life beaten that into him enough? He guessed he was a slow learner.
"Hey Uncle Pete, we were just talking about you!" Normie calls out from the booth forcing Reilly to turn from his spot in line.
Reilly was so lost in his own musings that he hadn't noticed the Parkers arriving. He's not ready for this, not by a longshot. The family all gather around the booth to exchange pleasantries and he hopes to god they don't notice him. But he's not the center of attention right then. "Parker! What happened to your face!" The horror in Mr. Nelsons' voice has him glancing over before he can help himself. He wishes he didn't.
Peters' left cheek was bruised, the skin an livid purple. The sight of it made his stomach churn as guilt ate at him again. Peter's voice had a fake cheer to it. "Oh this? Let's just say some punk had something to prove. He proved something alright."
Still in line for his refill Reilly watched the proceedings from the reflective glass case. Mrs. Parker apparently heard this conversation too often and started to walk over to the only empty table on the other side of the coffee shop. As she passed her attention seemed drawn to Reilly as she lingered behind him, almost like she wanted to say something. He tensed not knowing what had caught her interest. They had never met in any of his personas though they had seen each other at a distance a handful of times. Nothing that could connect his two identities together. He saw her bite her lip before May said she'd get the coffee if her mom would secure a table.
Although Mrs. Parker did as she was asked she kept staring at Reilly much to his discomfort. He had pretended that he hadn't notice and she didn't seem to know that he was aware of her. As if he wasn't uncomfortable enough as it was. When Mr. Nelson went to the restroom he heard the conversation pick up.
"D-did he really do that dad?" Was that fear in her voice? Reilly felt ashamed of himself, not just for his actions but for letting May down. But it wasn't like he tried to set an example. He told her that he wasn't the type of hero she wanted him to be. "I mean I know he's a little-"
"A little? May the man has no discipline, no sense of honor. That disgrace is a disaster waiting to happen!"
"Come on Uncle Pete, even you gotta admit that you're never at your calmest when it comes to him or the, er, duplicate thing." The last part of the statement drew Mays' curious glance and making it obvious that her father hadn't informed her of the clone connection they had recently looked into. Normie ignored the way Peter glared at him to chew on a cinnamon roll. "Besides the way I heard it he saved Phill from getting deck by you."
Mays' eyes were almost comedically wide. "Dad! How could you!"
"I might-might have gotten a little out of control!" The former superhero grumbled. "But you can see the evidence of HIS actions on yours truly! He took it too far!"
"Phill seems to think differently. He says you kept pushing the devils' buttons throughout the entire thing. Not that we have to take either of your word for it. We can just watch the footage."
Peter sat up straighter in his seat at that. "What footage? None of the cameras at the lab were turned on when we were there."
Too busy slipping his coffee Normie nodded before swallowing his drink. "Phills',um, ride was hooked up with one. We use it to see how he can improve. It's always on once he takes off. We can just replay it to see how it went down."
"Fine! Then you'll see how crazy he was!"
"I guess we will." May commented as she started to walk toward the table her mother selected.
"Not you May." Her father corrected successfully stopping her in her tracks.
"But you just said-"
"I don't want to see it and if I had my way you wouldn't even be exposed to that monster in the first place!"
Reilly was soon distracted by getting to the head of the line. He thought about what May would say if she ever got the chance to see the footage for herself. He was starting to second guess himself on the matter. Why couldn't he have kept his anger in check? Had Parker hit too close to the mark? Not feeling up to being social he lingered away from the table until Mr. Nelson came out and made his excuses for leaving. On the way out he spotted May staring gloomily into her coffee. Kaine once said he was like a mentor to her but Reilly didn't think so. Mentors knew what they were doing. They were people their "students" turned to for help or advice. The "Gwen Reilly" case was the last time she asked for any assistance and he didn't think he provided anything important. She never asked his opinion or needed him like she used to.
May had the whole superhero community willing to provide their aid. Heroes with more spotless records that Parker would approve of. Spider-Girl didn't need him anymore and seemed to think she surpassed him. Even if those ties weren't completely severed they would be after she saw the tape. May would never forgive him for harming her father, for losing control. This more than confirmed her claims.
He wondered if things would be different if he had tried to help April like he helped May. Would she be better off or would his efforts only have made matters worse? No one had wanted to take the time to be there for her, to put her first. Reilly knew only too well what that was like, if Matt hadn't been there for him then he would have been a total monster in the literal sense. A pawn in someone elses' scheme, a means to an end. Just like April. Just like Kaine and his father.
Arriving home he went quickly changed out of his work clothes into some sweats only pausing when he caught his reflection in the mirror. He let his image slip into his demonic form and studied himself. April might not of escaped her past but he'd be foolish to assume he had. All he did was hid it with a lie. Sometimes that's all he could do. Reilly lied about his past and pretended he was a normal student. He never told the Parkers who he was because he knew what they wouldn't accept the truth. Reilly himself had never taken the time to accept himself, to really understand what the whole clone thing meant to him.
When his phone rang he knew who it was before picking up and almost smiled when he was the identity was confirmed. Of course it would be Kaine of all people that called him. "Hey kid. I know you're not in the mood to talk but we need to meet."
The familiar conflicting emotions that always made an appearance where Kaine was concerned reared their head again. Reilly frowned, Kaine was right he didn't feel like doing this. "Where do you want to meet?"
But maybe it was time he started to make more of an effort.
Fandom: MC2
Spoilers: For Spider-Girl The End.
Summary: Darkdevil didn't know how to feel when he heard the news from Spider-Girl.
Depression
Thanks to the demon inside of him things were looking worse for Reilly. Self loathing wasn't something he liked to wallow in but it couldn't be helped. Everywhere he looked there seemed to be something to remind him of his failures. At work Normie showed up to update them on the clone situation. The buyers had been found, happily the case (if one could even be made out of this mess) was given to one of Mr. Nelsons' higher ups which meant Reilly didn't have to deal with it anymore. But that didn't stop Normie from going on about it for two hours. Maybe it was the guilt from hitting Parker that gave him the strength he needed to restrain himself. As much as he wanted to excuse himself for the day Normie refused to take a hint and suggested that the three of them have lunch at his moms' favorite place. Mr. Nelson liked that idea claiming Reilly would love the place. It wasn't what he expected.
It wasn't the sort of glamorous five star restaurant that left the kid that used to sleep on the street gaping in amazement. Liz Osborn apparently preferred the simpler things in life as it was just a coffee shop. "Mom used to come here with dad, Uncle Pete and Auntie M all the time." Normie informed gesturing to a corner booth. "I always thought it was funny that none of them were together at the time."
From what Kaine had told him Reilly could piece bits and pieces of that past. It always struck him odd to try to picture Peter Parker as a kid when he was sort of his father. Reilly wouldn't exist without the other man because Ben Reilly wouldn't have been created without him. Now "Uncle Pete" had a demonic nephew of his clone and would likely hate him more if he knew. Sometimes he liked to imagine what his life would be like if they knew. But Zarathos was right about one thing: he'd never be accepted. Any hope of that died with April. If Peter couldn't accept the clone of his daughter than what chance did he have?
They ordered sandwiches as step-father and son discussed all the memories this place held for their lost loved one. He had to wonder if it was really worth all the heartache to let someone into your life. It had never worked out for him and he hardly needed anymore complications. Once he had thought that May would be welcoming even if she needed time to adjust to the idea. But maybe he had just been fooling himself. The girl that protected killers and believed in redemption thought there was a possibility that he was a murderer waiting to happen. If that didn't make him feel low enough Parker had to rub in how much he was loathed. Not that he even considered himself a lovable person. No, he'd never make that mistake. He just wanted to have a chance and he realized he never even had that. Hadn't life beaten that into him enough? He guessed he was a slow learner.
"Hey Uncle Pete, we were just talking about you!" Normie calls out from the booth forcing Reilly to turn from his spot in line.
Reilly was so lost in his own musings that he hadn't noticed the Parkers arriving. He's not ready for this, not by a longshot. The family all gather around the booth to exchange pleasantries and he hopes to god they don't notice him. But he's not the center of attention right then. "Parker! What happened to your face!" The horror in Mr. Nelsons' voice has him glancing over before he can help himself. He wishes he didn't.
Peters' left cheek was bruised, the skin an livid purple. The sight of it made his stomach churn as guilt ate at him again. Peter's voice had a fake cheer to it. "Oh this? Let's just say some punk had something to prove. He proved something alright."
Still in line for his refill Reilly watched the proceedings from the reflective glass case. Mrs. Parker apparently heard this conversation too often and started to walk over to the only empty table on the other side of the coffee shop. As she passed her attention seemed drawn to Reilly as she lingered behind him, almost like she wanted to say something. He tensed not knowing what had caught her interest. They had never met in any of his personas though they had seen each other at a distance a handful of times. Nothing that could connect his two identities together. He saw her bite her lip before May said she'd get the coffee if her mom would secure a table.
Although Mrs. Parker did as she was asked she kept staring at Reilly much to his discomfort. He had pretended that he hadn't notice and she didn't seem to know that he was aware of her. As if he wasn't uncomfortable enough as it was. When Mr. Nelson went to the restroom he heard the conversation pick up.
"D-did he really do that dad?" Was that fear in her voice? Reilly felt ashamed of himself, not just for his actions but for letting May down. But it wasn't like he tried to set an example. He told her that he wasn't the type of hero she wanted him to be. "I mean I know he's a little-"
"A little? May the man has no discipline, no sense of honor. That disgrace is a disaster waiting to happen!"
"Come on Uncle Pete, even you gotta admit that you're never at your calmest when it comes to him or the, er, duplicate thing." The last part of the statement drew Mays' curious glance and making it obvious that her father hadn't informed her of the clone connection they had recently looked into. Normie ignored the way Peter glared at him to chew on a cinnamon roll. "Besides the way I heard it he saved Phill from getting deck by you."
Mays' eyes were almost comedically wide. "Dad! How could you!"
"I might-might have gotten a little out of control!" The former superhero grumbled. "But you can see the evidence of HIS actions on yours truly! He took it too far!"
"Phill seems to think differently. He says you kept pushing the devils' buttons throughout the entire thing. Not that we have to take either of your word for it. We can just watch the footage."
Peter sat up straighter in his seat at that. "What footage? None of the cameras at the lab were turned on when we were there."
Too busy slipping his coffee Normie nodded before swallowing his drink. "Phills',um, ride was hooked up with one. We use it to see how he can improve. It's always on once he takes off. We can just replay it to see how it went down."
"Fine! Then you'll see how crazy he was!"
"I guess we will." May commented as she started to walk toward the table her mother selected.
"Not you May." Her father corrected successfully stopping her in her tracks.
"But you just said-"
"I don't want to see it and if I had my way you wouldn't even be exposed to that monster in the first place!"
Reilly was soon distracted by getting to the head of the line. He thought about what May would say if she ever got the chance to see the footage for herself. He was starting to second guess himself on the matter. Why couldn't he have kept his anger in check? Had Parker hit too close to the mark? Not feeling up to being social he lingered away from the table until Mr. Nelson came out and made his excuses for leaving. On the way out he spotted May staring gloomily into her coffee. Kaine once said he was like a mentor to her but Reilly didn't think so. Mentors knew what they were doing. They were people their "students" turned to for help or advice. The "Gwen Reilly" case was the last time she asked for any assistance and he didn't think he provided anything important. She never asked his opinion or needed him like she used to.
May had the whole superhero community willing to provide their aid. Heroes with more spotless records that Parker would approve of. Spider-Girl didn't need him anymore and seemed to think she surpassed him. Even if those ties weren't completely severed they would be after she saw the tape. May would never forgive him for harming her father, for losing control. This more than confirmed her claims.
He wondered if things would be different if he had tried to help April like he helped May. Would she be better off or would his efforts only have made matters worse? No one had wanted to take the time to be there for her, to put her first. Reilly knew only too well what that was like, if Matt hadn't been there for him then he would have been a total monster in the literal sense. A pawn in someone elses' scheme, a means to an end. Just like April. Just like Kaine and his father.
Arriving home he went quickly changed out of his work clothes into some sweats only pausing when he caught his reflection in the mirror. He let his image slip into his demonic form and studied himself. April might not of escaped her past but he'd be foolish to assume he had. All he did was hid it with a lie. Sometimes that's all he could do. Reilly lied about his past and pretended he was a normal student. He never told the Parkers who he was because he knew what they wouldn't accept the truth. Reilly himself had never taken the time to accept himself, to really understand what the whole clone thing meant to him.
When his phone rang he knew who it was before picking up and almost smiled when he was the identity was confirmed. Of course it would be Kaine of all people that called him. "Hey kid. I know you're not in the mood to talk but we need to meet."
The familiar conflicting emotions that always made an appearance where Kaine was concerned reared their head again. Reilly frowned, Kaine was right he didn't feel like doing this. "Where do you want to meet?"
But maybe it was time he started to make more of an effort.