Standing the Test of Time Part 49
Title: Standing the Test of Time Part 49
Fandom: AtS
Pairings: Spike/Dracula, Spike/Angel
Rating: R
Warning: Slash
Disclaimer: I don't own them or make money off them. This is just for fun.
Summary: When captured in the aftermath of a battle Spike finds himself at the mercy of his old rival--Count Dracula. Will he be saved before it’s too late or will he be lulled into something even more dangerous than the Counts’ wrath?
Spoilers: For the IDW comic series Spike vs. Dracula 1-5.
Timeline: After NFA and after my story William Restored.
Why did he have to have such an active imagination? This wouldn't be the first time a dream had left Spike hard and wanting. Sadly it hadn't been the first time Angel had caught him in such a situation either. Matter of fact Angelus used to take advantage of it if memory served, least when it stroke his fancy. Keep in mind that was back when the bloke got laid regularly so the taking wasn't as much as one would assume. This Angel, all soulful and angst stricken was staring at him with those big chocolate eyes of his. Caught in that fine line between his heroic pompously self-righteous self and his darker more lustful impulses.
Damn it if the stupid sod doesn't look right sumptuous. Best place the blame before the git realizes how this is affecting Spikes' lower bits. "Wot the--?!"
"You kissed me!" The tosser accused beating him to the punch.
"I was asleep you, twat!" He countered indignantly. " 'M the innocent party here!"
"Yeah, well you might want to tell your 'innocent' leg that." Angel pointed out motioning at the offending limb that was wrapped around the Powers champions' hip. Bugger.
"OI! You kissed me back knowing that I wasn't awake completely taking advantage of me!" Ha! Take that poofter! Victory at hand Spike added another mark in his column," I mean just look at at wot your paws are doing to my poor but well defined bottom!"
Angels' gaze flickered down to see that his hands were in fact kneading the bare cheeks. The wanker seemed so confused at his own hands betrayal that Spike almost gave in to the impulse to laugh. Right awkward this was best not to make it worse. For himself that is. "Wot are you doing here, peaches? Thought you give little Liam a good ploughing while junior was taking his nappies?"
Spike was rather proud that he had kept his emotion in check. For the most part. He didn't fancy another trip down memory lane and thought he had made himself clear on the subject. Not that Angelus had ever gave a damn what he wanted. Oh right, another 'nothing is yours' lesson. If the pillock couldn't (or wouldn't) sleep with Vlad then he would show Spike that his body wasn't his either. No it wasn't fair to think that Angel would still harbor these type of thoughts but what else was there that he'd want from Spike?
"Will you stop thinking I'm trying to molest you! ...Alright, other than the molesting I'm currently doing!" He added at Spikes' raised eyebrow. Stupid hands wouldn't stop fondling Spike self-proclaimed 'sweet arse' and Angel found he couldn't really dispute the claim. They were indeed well defined.
No. Now his mind was listening to his evil hands. Worfram and Hart had to behind this. Yeah, this was one of their ploys to get him to feel Spike up. For some reason he couldn't fathom but would mean the end of the world. Somehow. ...Alright, admittedly that plan had more holes in it than the last vampire Illyria had torn through. But they were evil, their plans didn't have to make sense!
"Umm, can't help noticing that your hands are still on me arse. Don't blame you mate, 's a nice bum but my face is a little higher than that."
"You lost weight."
The comment seemed so random and out of context that Spike temporary forgot what point he was trying to get across. "Eh?"
"I mean I knew you lost weight after being with Finns' dumb ass soldiers," Spike snorted, really was fun to have someone share his view on Captain Dull. Fingers trailed from Spikes' rear across his hips to settle on his stomach. "You became leaner, just not like this."
"Like what...?" A warning came with the question that Angel might have been too thick to pick up on.
"You're still recovering--I didn't realize you had lost so much weight."
Brown met blue as their gazes locked and Spike became very aware of Angels' touch creating trails of fire along his flesh. Swallowing the lump in his suddenly dry throat he finally asked, "Why are you here?"
An ironic self-patronizing twist of his lips crossed Angels' face like he had been asking himself that very question. "Do you mean here here or in Romania?"
"Either. Not like we've ever been the best of mates." He ignored the twinge of hurt he felt, Spike was good at pretending. Sometimes he could even fool himself. "Never made it a secret that you can't stand the bloody sight of me. Why come halfway around the world for me instead of cutting your losses? And don't tell me it's because you need me for the fight. You got more than enough people in L.A. to work as muscle."
More than that Spike was sodding sick of hearing that was the only reason he was worth anything to the wonderful chosen lot. A full minute passed with Angels' face looking right constipated in his sorry excuse of an attempt at caring. Wasn't like he was waiting for a confession of undying love just something. Forgot that was still asking to much from the king of the about face. "Right."
"I'm here, doesn't that count for anything?" Angels' tone was soft, not the sort he'd use with him. Sweet, gentle like he wanted to protect something fragile. The moment could have teetered in either direction. A month ago it would have been the start of a brawl.
"Reckon it does at that." At least the answer was honest, much as Angel was capable of being with him. They didn't move for a spell as time marched on lest the unspoken truce break. Idly Angels' hands drew shapes on Spikes' pale skin without realizing it. Not that there was any objection from Spike. Both of them were miles away. Not surprising, Spike knew that they would never be on the same wavelength after the one night stand. No one was ever truly with him in that sense. "Mind telling wot made you decide to play King Kong?"
A not-quite-that-cute pout formed when Angel shrugged. "Connor was asleep so I figured we could, umm, hang out?"
"Aw, that's the sweetest bullshite you ever told me, peaches." Smirking at the abased vampire above him Spike quirked an eyebrow. "Being as 'm hanging out so to speak, what did you have in mind?"
"I just--we just need to talk, Spike." If Angel had been paying attention to Spikes' face he would have seen the alarm, perhaps even noticed the hitch of his breath. "We all have to make choices soon. Faith has made her stance clear, Connor wants to help and Illyria, well she doesn't really care so long as she gets to crush something. "
"Yeah? Where do you stand? Can't see you giving a shite about this bloody stupid idea Rupert has got in his head."
"I don't. Well beyond the fallout that's sure to happen but I figure that's a given anyway. The Council has always thought themselves to be the biggest bully around no matter who's in charge. They underestimate the power their up against and that arrogance always costs them. Faith risked everything she's built to come here, Spike. She wants to see this through as her last official act as a council sponsored slayer. Fine. We own her that much. I wouldn't abandon her under normal circumstances and I won't now. I already made myself clear but she's not listening to me. I figure she'll learn the hard way that the council still doesn't work." Sighing heavily Angel rolled onto his back to stare out at the darkened sky. "She's strong but I don't want her to lose hope again."
"Lass had you last time. Strength in numbers and all that." Sometimes Spike wondered if their roles were reversed if Angel would have helped him cope with the soul or turned him away. No matter how hard he tries to imagine it he can't. Buffy could barely stand the sight of him, why would Angel who knew him far better do anything different?
"What about you?"
So lost in his own musing Spike had to tilt his head to the side to stare up quizzically. Was Angel asking who gave him strength? Trick question then, for that answer always changed. Was it a caring platonic figure like his mum, Joyce, Dawn, Fred or Connor? Or romantic like Cecily, Drusilla and Buffy? All his life had been devoted to loving someone regardless if they felt the same or not. Now...now it simply wasn't enough. He felt drained of giving his all and desperately wanted a taste of that promised love he had always been denied.
And Angel...Angel would never understand that. The man didn't live by his heart like he did. Angel plotted out course of actions, and repressed himself where Spike couldn't lest he explode. Though he never realized it Angel was loved, greatly, by many. He had friends, lovers that loved him for him, a son, and a great destiny wanting for him. To everyone that knew them Spike would always be the second vampire with a soul. He had lived all his soulless unlife under Angels' shadow and nothing had changed in that respect with the soul.
God, he wanted--no needed--something to keep him going on. "Wot?"
"Where do you stand in all this?" There was a quiet serious quality to the brunet that gives him pause. Like the answer was important but why would anything he said mean jack to the leader man?
"Think old Rup has his head firmly up his arse on this score." Spike snorted at the mental image that gave him. "Not that that's terribly shocking. Figures that Red isn't that reliable so it's best to cover their rears instead of letting it blow up in their faces again. Funny how they think you're untrustworthy but are willing to cut a deal that keeps them out of a country filled with vamps."
"That's not what I meant." At Spikes' confusion Angel clarified. "Do you want to stay and fight?"
"Course, 'm always up for a little fight. Not going to let them have all the fun." Wouldn't let Connor and Faith get killed over this blunder. And he was sort of Blues' guide which he supposed meant that he had to keep an eye on her. Made sure she ripped off the right heads and all that.
"I mean," Angel sighed in frustration taking an obvious effort to calm himself," did you think about what I said."
Oh right, that. Spike shrugged casually like it wasn't a big deal. "Given it some thought, yeah."
" 'Given it some thought?!' " The older vampire repeated incredulously. "This isn't a question about what kind of wine you want with dinner, Spike! We're talking about a vampire that actively seeks out humans to murder for appetizers on a daily basis with a sadistic streak to match us! Damn it Spike, I thought you claimed to be better than this!"
"It's complicated, alright?!"
"Why, because your dick is involved?! When I made a deal with Worfram and Hart to try to save Cordelia and Connors' lives you said that I was selling out! That I was being corrupted! You're in bed with evil--literally!" A thick finger was jabbed into Spikes' shoulder. Hissing at the annoyance he sat up to get into Angels' personal space. "And no I don't mean me so shut up!"
Damn the man knew him too well.
"Why is it so different when you're offered power, luxury, and all that entails? You're not even doing it for anyone but yourself! And I'm supposed to what, not mention how pussy whipped--oh sorry--prick whipped you are?!"
Spike snarled launching himself at the other man. The impact sent them both tumbling to the floor. Angel grunted in pain but Spike didn't allow him to recover before his fists started flying. The solid smacks were more than satisfying, so much so that he didn't notice Angels' feet until it was too late. Ears ringing from the hit Spikes' groan hid the bastards movements from his ears. Large mitts grabbed his shoulders flipping him over and forcing him onto his stomach. The big guy leaned in close, flattening him to the rug, fingers flexing over Spikes' wrists. No escape.
"Now will you listen?" Angel grunted through a bruised lip. Fighting back Spikes' body shifted and they both stilled. Seemed that the brief struggle had awaken something in Angel if what was poking in him in the rear was what he thought it was. Apparently it was because Angel swore letting go of his hold.
"We have to stop doing this."
"I didn't mean it like that!" Tortured brown eyes appealed to blue. "I--"
"I mean it, Angel. I--we can't keep doing this. I'm sick of the drama, and the violence. I'm just..."Spike ran his hand through his hated curls wondering absently if he could find a decent pair of scissors. "...I'm tired of the whole rot. 'M not stupid enough to think we'd ever be the latest it couple. Or that I'd ever give you perfect happiness. No worries there mate."
Resting his pounding head against the side of the bed Spike gave Angel a bitter smile. "Know you think I don't think properly, that I'm a right caveman. Not much sense running on instinct. That me loins run me head and my heart blinds the eyes all the time. S'not true. Not always. Truth is that I did expect more from you Angel, just not wot you thought I did. I don't know if anyone could ever truly love me but I never ever even entertained the ridiculously notion that you could. Thought...hell, it doesn't matter wot I thought. Rubbish anyway. Just wanted you to know that I never thought of you like Dru or Buffy. Never harbored any dreams of joint unions."
"What did you want?" Daring to speak, to acknowledge the events that they had both been trying so hard to ignore Angel seemed a little lost. Generally curious even.
"Honesty? An end to all to all these bleeding mind games? Like I said, it doesn't matter. Should have known better than think that you of all people would get that." He thought it would have been freeing to say what had been on his mind for so long. It wasn't.
"What, like you ever make anything easy? You say you don't want," Angel flinched at "commitment" drawing an eye roll from Spike," but you cling to anybody you're with!"
"Yeah, we both know how clingy I was with Harm. Pull the other one wanker. You patented the angsty vampire clingy role with anything that has a set of tits. You're just pissed because I know how full of shite you really are."
"Okay, fine I'm giving you Harmony, you happy?!"
"Thrilled." Spike bit out sarcastically.
"But you always, always want attention from me--"
"I bloody do not!" He denied.
"--from the day we first met! Have you ever thought for a second that maybe I didn't need that kind of pressure? As far as women are concerned, yes I screwed up there. I don't want to repeat my mistakes, so there."
"Are you very high?" Getting to his feet to stare down at the still sitting Angel, Spike made a face. "You sodding love every second you're in the spotlight! Your knickers get in a twist when you're not! And I'm not a woman, tosser!"
Glaring right back and ignoring Spikes' nudeness Angel stood as well. "I do not! You're the A.D.D limelight stealing brat here, not me! And you could have fooled me, you're pretty like one!"
They both blinked. "Was that supposed to be an insult or a piss poor come on?"
"You know, I'm not really that sure." Huh. Weird. Angel rubbed the back of his neck nervously talking to his shoes. "Are you turned on?"
Bugger yes. "No."
"Oh...no it wasn't a come on." They always did this to each other. Got all alpha male and got right horny with the fights. It had to stop not just because he was sort of courting Vlad either. No he had promised nothing to the other vampire but this wasn't fair to any of them. "In case I never said it I am sorry that things got out of hand like they did. I guess I thought it would have been worse if we kept up the pretense longer."
Perhaps Angel had genuinely meant for that to be a heartfelt apology. The problem was that all he heard was that it hadn't been real for Angel like it was for him. Not love but Spike had felt something real and heartfelt. Maybe he was reading too much into it. Did it matter? No, they both had agreed that this was for the best, hadn't they? Sort of?
"Neither of us are in relationship-y places anyway. Not that we were in one or even want to be in one."
"Right." Half listening to the babbling vampire he sunk into the bed.
"Oh good. For a second I thought you were serious about--but you're not. Which is good. Because hey, he's evil and you're not anymore. Mostly." Angel went on cheerfully unaware that Spikes' mood had shifted. "Yeah, we're good."
Fandom: AtS
Pairings: Spike/Dracula, Spike/Angel
Rating: R
Warning: Slash
Disclaimer: I don't own them or make money off them. This is just for fun.
Summary: When captured in the aftermath of a battle Spike finds himself at the mercy of his old rival--Count Dracula. Will he be saved before it’s too late or will he be lulled into something even more dangerous than the Counts’ wrath?
Spoilers: For the IDW comic series Spike vs. Dracula 1-5.
Timeline: After NFA and after my story William Restored.
Why did he have to have such an active imagination? This wouldn't be the first time a dream had left Spike hard and wanting. Sadly it hadn't been the first time Angel had caught him in such a situation either. Matter of fact Angelus used to take advantage of it if memory served, least when it stroke his fancy. Keep in mind that was back when the bloke got laid regularly so the taking wasn't as much as one would assume. This Angel, all soulful and angst stricken was staring at him with those big chocolate eyes of his. Caught in that fine line between his heroic pompously self-righteous self and his darker more lustful impulses.
Damn it if the stupid sod doesn't look right sumptuous. Best place the blame before the git realizes how this is affecting Spikes' lower bits. "Wot the--?!"
"You kissed me!" The tosser accused beating him to the punch.
"I was asleep you, twat!" He countered indignantly. " 'M the innocent party here!"
"Yeah, well you might want to tell your 'innocent' leg that." Angel pointed out motioning at the offending limb that was wrapped around the Powers champions' hip. Bugger.
"OI! You kissed me back knowing that I wasn't awake completely taking advantage of me!" Ha! Take that poofter! Victory at hand Spike added another mark in his column," I mean just look at at wot your paws are doing to my poor but well defined bottom!"
Angels' gaze flickered down to see that his hands were in fact kneading the bare cheeks. The wanker seemed so confused at his own hands betrayal that Spike almost gave in to the impulse to laugh. Right awkward this was best not to make it worse. For himself that is. "Wot are you doing here, peaches? Thought you give little Liam a good ploughing while junior was taking his nappies?"
Spike was rather proud that he had kept his emotion in check. For the most part. He didn't fancy another trip down memory lane and thought he had made himself clear on the subject. Not that Angelus had ever gave a damn what he wanted. Oh right, another 'nothing is yours' lesson. If the pillock couldn't (or wouldn't) sleep with Vlad then he would show Spike that his body wasn't his either. No it wasn't fair to think that Angel would still harbor these type of thoughts but what else was there that he'd want from Spike?
"Will you stop thinking I'm trying to molest you! ...Alright, other than the molesting I'm currently doing!" He added at Spikes' raised eyebrow. Stupid hands wouldn't stop fondling Spike self-proclaimed 'sweet arse' and Angel found he couldn't really dispute the claim. They were indeed well defined.
No. Now his mind was listening to his evil hands. Worfram and Hart had to behind this. Yeah, this was one of their ploys to get him to feel Spike up. For some reason he couldn't fathom but would mean the end of the world. Somehow. ...Alright, admittedly that plan had more holes in it than the last vampire Illyria had torn through. But they were evil, their plans didn't have to make sense!
"Umm, can't help noticing that your hands are still on me arse. Don't blame you mate, 's a nice bum but my face is a little higher than that."
"You lost weight."
The comment seemed so random and out of context that Spike temporary forgot what point he was trying to get across. "Eh?"
"I mean I knew you lost weight after being with Finns' dumb ass soldiers," Spike snorted, really was fun to have someone share his view on Captain Dull. Fingers trailed from Spikes' rear across his hips to settle on his stomach. "You became leaner, just not like this."
"Like what...?" A warning came with the question that Angel might have been too thick to pick up on.
"You're still recovering--I didn't realize you had lost so much weight."
Brown met blue as their gazes locked and Spike became very aware of Angels' touch creating trails of fire along his flesh. Swallowing the lump in his suddenly dry throat he finally asked, "Why are you here?"
An ironic self-patronizing twist of his lips crossed Angels' face like he had been asking himself that very question. "Do you mean here here or in Romania?"
"Either. Not like we've ever been the best of mates." He ignored the twinge of hurt he felt, Spike was good at pretending. Sometimes he could even fool himself. "Never made it a secret that you can't stand the bloody sight of me. Why come halfway around the world for me instead of cutting your losses? And don't tell me it's because you need me for the fight. You got more than enough people in L.A. to work as muscle."
More than that Spike was sodding sick of hearing that was the only reason he was worth anything to the wonderful chosen lot. A full minute passed with Angels' face looking right constipated in his sorry excuse of an attempt at caring. Wasn't like he was waiting for a confession of undying love just something. Forgot that was still asking to much from the king of the about face. "Right."
"I'm here, doesn't that count for anything?" Angels' tone was soft, not the sort he'd use with him. Sweet, gentle like he wanted to protect something fragile. The moment could have teetered in either direction. A month ago it would have been the start of a brawl.
"Reckon it does at that." At least the answer was honest, much as Angel was capable of being with him. They didn't move for a spell as time marched on lest the unspoken truce break. Idly Angels' hands drew shapes on Spikes' pale skin without realizing it. Not that there was any objection from Spike. Both of them were miles away. Not surprising, Spike knew that they would never be on the same wavelength after the one night stand. No one was ever truly with him in that sense. "Mind telling wot made you decide to play King Kong?"
A not-quite-that-cute pout formed when Angel shrugged. "Connor was asleep so I figured we could, umm, hang out?"
"Aw, that's the sweetest bullshite you ever told me, peaches." Smirking at the abased vampire above him Spike quirked an eyebrow. "Being as 'm hanging out so to speak, what did you have in mind?"
"I just--we just need to talk, Spike." If Angel had been paying attention to Spikes' face he would have seen the alarm, perhaps even noticed the hitch of his breath. "We all have to make choices soon. Faith has made her stance clear, Connor wants to help and Illyria, well she doesn't really care so long as she gets to crush something. "
"Yeah? Where do you stand? Can't see you giving a shite about this bloody stupid idea Rupert has got in his head."
"I don't. Well beyond the fallout that's sure to happen but I figure that's a given anyway. The Council has always thought themselves to be the biggest bully around no matter who's in charge. They underestimate the power their up against and that arrogance always costs them. Faith risked everything she's built to come here, Spike. She wants to see this through as her last official act as a council sponsored slayer. Fine. We own her that much. I wouldn't abandon her under normal circumstances and I won't now. I already made myself clear but she's not listening to me. I figure she'll learn the hard way that the council still doesn't work." Sighing heavily Angel rolled onto his back to stare out at the darkened sky. "She's strong but I don't want her to lose hope again."
"Lass had you last time. Strength in numbers and all that." Sometimes Spike wondered if their roles were reversed if Angel would have helped him cope with the soul or turned him away. No matter how hard he tries to imagine it he can't. Buffy could barely stand the sight of him, why would Angel who knew him far better do anything different?
"What about you?"
So lost in his own musing Spike had to tilt his head to the side to stare up quizzically. Was Angel asking who gave him strength? Trick question then, for that answer always changed. Was it a caring platonic figure like his mum, Joyce, Dawn, Fred or Connor? Or romantic like Cecily, Drusilla and Buffy? All his life had been devoted to loving someone regardless if they felt the same or not. Now...now it simply wasn't enough. He felt drained of giving his all and desperately wanted a taste of that promised love he had always been denied.
And Angel...Angel would never understand that. The man didn't live by his heart like he did. Angel plotted out course of actions, and repressed himself where Spike couldn't lest he explode. Though he never realized it Angel was loved, greatly, by many. He had friends, lovers that loved him for him, a son, and a great destiny wanting for him. To everyone that knew them Spike would always be the second vampire with a soul. He had lived all his soulless unlife under Angels' shadow and nothing had changed in that respect with the soul.
God, he wanted--no needed--something to keep him going on. "Wot?"
"Where do you stand in all this?" There was a quiet serious quality to the brunet that gives him pause. Like the answer was important but why would anything he said mean jack to the leader man?
"Think old Rup has his head firmly up his arse on this score." Spike snorted at the mental image that gave him. "Not that that's terribly shocking. Figures that Red isn't that reliable so it's best to cover their rears instead of letting it blow up in their faces again. Funny how they think you're untrustworthy but are willing to cut a deal that keeps them out of a country filled with vamps."
"That's not what I meant." At Spikes' confusion Angel clarified. "Do you want to stay and fight?"
"Course, 'm always up for a little fight. Not going to let them have all the fun." Wouldn't let Connor and Faith get killed over this blunder. And he was sort of Blues' guide which he supposed meant that he had to keep an eye on her. Made sure she ripped off the right heads and all that.
"I mean," Angel sighed in frustration taking an obvious effort to calm himself," did you think about what I said."
Oh right, that. Spike shrugged casually like it wasn't a big deal. "Given it some thought, yeah."
" 'Given it some thought?!' " The older vampire repeated incredulously. "This isn't a question about what kind of wine you want with dinner, Spike! We're talking about a vampire that actively seeks out humans to murder for appetizers on a daily basis with a sadistic streak to match us! Damn it Spike, I thought you claimed to be better than this!"
"It's complicated, alright?!"
"Why, because your dick is involved?! When I made a deal with Worfram and Hart to try to save Cordelia and Connors' lives you said that I was selling out! That I was being corrupted! You're in bed with evil--literally!" A thick finger was jabbed into Spikes' shoulder. Hissing at the annoyance he sat up to get into Angels' personal space. "And no I don't mean me so shut up!"
Damn the man knew him too well.
"Why is it so different when you're offered power, luxury, and all that entails? You're not even doing it for anyone but yourself! And I'm supposed to what, not mention how pussy whipped--oh sorry--prick whipped you are?!"
Spike snarled launching himself at the other man. The impact sent them both tumbling to the floor. Angel grunted in pain but Spike didn't allow him to recover before his fists started flying. The solid smacks were more than satisfying, so much so that he didn't notice Angels' feet until it was too late. Ears ringing from the hit Spikes' groan hid the bastards movements from his ears. Large mitts grabbed his shoulders flipping him over and forcing him onto his stomach. The big guy leaned in close, flattening him to the rug, fingers flexing over Spikes' wrists. No escape.
"Now will you listen?" Angel grunted through a bruised lip. Fighting back Spikes' body shifted and they both stilled. Seemed that the brief struggle had awaken something in Angel if what was poking in him in the rear was what he thought it was. Apparently it was because Angel swore letting go of his hold.
"We have to stop doing this."
"I didn't mean it like that!" Tortured brown eyes appealed to blue. "I--"
"I mean it, Angel. I--we can't keep doing this. I'm sick of the drama, and the violence. I'm just..."Spike ran his hand through his hated curls wondering absently if he could find a decent pair of scissors. "...I'm tired of the whole rot. 'M not stupid enough to think we'd ever be the latest it couple. Or that I'd ever give you perfect happiness. No worries there mate."
Resting his pounding head against the side of the bed Spike gave Angel a bitter smile. "Know you think I don't think properly, that I'm a right caveman. Not much sense running on instinct. That me loins run me head and my heart blinds the eyes all the time. S'not true. Not always. Truth is that I did expect more from you Angel, just not wot you thought I did. I don't know if anyone could ever truly love me but I never ever even entertained the ridiculously notion that you could. Thought...hell, it doesn't matter wot I thought. Rubbish anyway. Just wanted you to know that I never thought of you like Dru or Buffy. Never harbored any dreams of joint unions."
"What did you want?" Daring to speak, to acknowledge the events that they had both been trying so hard to ignore Angel seemed a little lost. Generally curious even.
"Honesty? An end to all to all these bleeding mind games? Like I said, it doesn't matter. Should have known better than think that you of all people would get that." He thought it would have been freeing to say what had been on his mind for so long. It wasn't.
"What, like you ever make anything easy? You say you don't want," Angel flinched at "commitment" drawing an eye roll from Spike," but you cling to anybody you're with!"
"Yeah, we both know how clingy I was with Harm. Pull the other one wanker. You patented the angsty vampire clingy role with anything that has a set of tits. You're just pissed because I know how full of shite you really are."
"Okay, fine I'm giving you Harmony, you happy?!"
"Thrilled." Spike bit out sarcastically.
"But you always, always want attention from me--"
"I bloody do not!" He denied.
"--from the day we first met! Have you ever thought for a second that maybe I didn't need that kind of pressure? As far as women are concerned, yes I screwed up there. I don't want to repeat my mistakes, so there."
"Are you very high?" Getting to his feet to stare down at the still sitting Angel, Spike made a face. "You sodding love every second you're in the spotlight! Your knickers get in a twist when you're not! And I'm not a woman, tosser!"
Glaring right back and ignoring Spikes' nudeness Angel stood as well. "I do not! You're the A.D.D limelight stealing brat here, not me! And you could have fooled me, you're pretty like one!"
They both blinked. "Was that supposed to be an insult or a piss poor come on?"
"You know, I'm not really that sure." Huh. Weird. Angel rubbed the back of his neck nervously talking to his shoes. "Are you turned on?"
Bugger yes. "No."
"Oh...no it wasn't a come on." They always did this to each other. Got all alpha male and got right horny with the fights. It had to stop not just because he was sort of courting Vlad either. No he had promised nothing to the other vampire but this wasn't fair to any of them. "In case I never said it I am sorry that things got out of hand like they did. I guess I thought it would have been worse if we kept up the pretense longer."
Perhaps Angel had genuinely meant for that to be a heartfelt apology. The problem was that all he heard was that it hadn't been real for Angel like it was for him. Not love but Spike had felt something real and heartfelt. Maybe he was reading too much into it. Did it matter? No, they both had agreed that this was for the best, hadn't they? Sort of?
"Neither of us are in relationship-y places anyway. Not that we were in one or even want to be in one."
"Right." Half listening to the babbling vampire he sunk into the bed.
"Oh good. For a second I thought you were serious about--but you're not. Which is good. Because hey, he's evil and you're not anymore. Mostly." Angel went on cheerfully unaware that Spikes' mood had shifted. "Yeah, we're good."