Fic: You Show Me Yours
Title: You Show Me Yours
Author: Erin Riwen
Word Count: 1,796
Category: Slash
Rating: PG
"I tell ya, I don't do New Year's Resolutions, Chief. Why set yourself up to fail?" Jim said, the twinkle in his eyes belying the serious set of his face.
"C'mon Jim, just humor me, ok?" Blair said, his infectious grin lighting up his face.
“I dunno, Chief. I seem to recall times in the past when humoring you turned out to be dangerous ground,” Jim teased. He knew he was baiting Blair, but getting the kid all worked up was really just too much fun to resist. In the end, he’d give in. He almost always did.
“Very funny, Jim,” Blair said sarcastically. “C’mon man, don’t be like this. You said you wanted to know more about me, about what I like to do, traditions, all that.” Blair hammered a bit, pushing Jim’s holiday confession back at him.
"OK, OK," Jim said, his smile finally showing as he held his hands up in defeat. "You win, Sandburg."
"Now, remember Jim. They have to be serious and you really have to try."
Jim nodded, but said nothing as he looked at the pad and pen in his hands; his mood turning slightly more somber. He let his thoughts drift over the last year, memories that he could really live without and wondered what the new one would bring. Looking over, he watched Blair write easily and wished his thoughts and feelings came as easily as his friend's seemed to.
Blair looked up and smiled. "Just think about the last year, man and come up with what you'd like to be different this year."
Just like that; but then things for Sandburg were often just that simple, that sweet and easy. Jim gave him a nod and looked back down at his paper. He knew what was in his mind, his heart. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was letting them out. Jim knew from experience that letting things like that out was the first step to drowning in them. Experience had taught him well, so there he sat with pen to paper and no clue how to make himself put these thoughts and feelings into words. Words were not his strong suit - he was a man of action. He was educated enough, managed to write the things he had to to get his degree; but this, this was different. This was the real him, the one deep inside that no one knew, no one saw; no one but Sandburg, that is. No matter how hard he tried, Jim always failed in the end to hide much from his partner. Sometimes that was a blessing, sometimes a curse.
Finally, after much struggle from Jim’s end at least, they were both done with their lists and Jim closed the small notepad, content that he had been honest even if he had no idea how to make any of them come true.
"OK," Blair said, putting his pen down. "Now, hand me yours." He held his list out to Jim, his other hand reaching for the notepad.
"You never said we'd be reading each other's, Chief," Jim said, his tone cautious.
"It's tradition, Jim. Part of the magic of making them easier to keep is to share them with the person closest to you, unless..." Blair's voice faded and stopped, the light in his eyes dimming a little, "unless there's someone else you'd rather share them with."
Blair could absolutely rip his heart out in no time flat and Jim was quick to shake his head. "There's no one else, Blair," he said softly; hesitating only a moment, then handing over the notepad and taking his partner's. Jim felt his heartbeat increase slightly as their fingers touched and he noted that Blair's did as well. One eyebrow rose but he said nothing.
There was no small amount of relief in the deep blue eyes that watched him intently and Jim had to mentally shake himself not to zone on their depths. Releasing the notepad, Jim knew that he had just embarked on a path that there was no turning back from.
"I'll go first," Blair said, bouncing slightly as he flipped open the small pad. "OK, here goes." Without hesitation, he began to read the items listed, his voice getting more soft and filled with wonder as he went. "Number one," Blair said excitedly, "Be less uptight about things, especially things at home. After all, it's our place now, not just mine." Blue eyes looked up, searching Jim's face, then Blair cleared his throat and continued. "Number two, learn as much about Hanukkah as possible. If it's important to Blair, it's important to me." A pause, then a soft sigh. "Aww, Jim," he said softly.
The emotion in Blair's voice was a palatable thing and Jim swallowed hard, looking away to maintain control. He wanted Blair to know how he felt, he just hadn't had time to prepare for the depth of these emotions. Where the hell was his hard-earned control now?
"Number three," Blair continued, his voice now full of emotion as well. "Try to find some small ways to make every day like Christmas day for Blair - and make myself remember that gifts don't always have to be bought.”
A long pause caused Jim to look up and he saw Blair pinching his eyes. "You ok, Chief?” he said softly, pushing himself past his own boundaries and reaching over to brush the soft curls with his fingers. Without hesitation, Blair's free hand reached up and captured Jim's and the warmth of that touch made Jim catch his breath. Returning the gentle squeeze, Jim smiled. "Go ahead, Blair. Read the rest."
Not letting go of Jim's hand, Blair blinked a couple of times and then continued. "Number four," he said softly, "Do my best to make sure Blair doesn't die again while not taking away his pride, position or accomplishments."
A soft chuckle, accompanied by a moist sounding hiccup followed that one and Jim grinned. His thumb brushed over the back of Blair's hand in a calming motion. "I..." Blair started, but he never finished the sentence. He simply looked at Jim and blinked to try and hold himself together.
Jim knew this was it; the end of the line and for better or for worse, his deepest thoughts would be laid bare between them. "Number five." Jim lifted Blair's hand and brushed his lips against the soft skin of Blair's hand as the last resolution was read. "Find some" Blair looked up in surprise at hearing Jim say the words along with him.
Jim finished the entry. "not-so cheesy way to tell Blair how very much I love and cherish him. I suck at words, so this'll be hard for me." Their eyes locked and then Jim tugged on Blair's hand. An impish grin preceded the leap which landed Jim with a lap full of laughing, tearful, bouncy Sandburg. Jim's arm wound around Blair's waist, holding him as securely as possible. "I take it you don't mind," Jim said quietly, his smile bright and his eyes sparkling.
"Are you kidding me?" Blair exclaimed as his arms wrapped around the broad shoulders. "Man, that's every Christmas, Hanukkah and Birthday present I could ever want.” Without thought or hesitation, Blair leaned close and Jim finally tasted Blair and nothing in his best dreams had even come close to this reality. Those pouty, full lips that had been the thing that wet dreams were made of were softer, sweeter and more delicious than anything Jim could have imagined. Only a small step behind, Jim returned the kiss, opening his lips to the gentle prodding of Blair’s tongue. Kissing Blair was like nothing Jim had ever experienced. He allowed his senses free reign and was instantly wrapped in warmth, the smell of spices and the taste of the peppermint that Blair had been eating earlier. When they finally broke apart, both of them breathing hard, Jim buried his face in the mass of curls as another part of his fantasy world came to life. Breathing deeply, Jim imprinted this new version of Blair's scent into his system. "I'm sorry, Chief, that it took me so long,” he said as he pulled back enough to look into Blair’s eyes. “Shoulda said this," he started, but a finger against his lips stopped his thought. Blair's head shook side to side, a gentle smile on his face. "No," he said softly, "no shoulda, coulda, woulda. We look forward, move forward."
"Agreed," Jim said, relieved that it had been this easy; but then, everything really had been easy with Blair whenever he'd just let them happen and wasn't an anal asshole. With a grin, he remembered the pad in his hand. "Hang on a minute, Chief. I never read your resolutions." The grin on Blair's face caused him to pull the pad around and open it up. "Let's see now," Jim said, taking in the first item on the list. "First, find more ways to make Jim's life easier." Jim leaned over the list to kiss those smiling lips again. Clearing his throat, he continued. "Second, try harder not to do things that get on Jim's nerves. A strange look crossed Jim’s face as he realized yet again what a pain in the ass he was to live with. The full realization hit him how well Blair actually managed to get along with him despite everything and he noticed those blue eyes watching him, as if waiting for a bad reaction. Jim simply let his love for Blair shine in his eyes, let the smile he felt come forth. “No worries, Chief. You do just fine.”
A grin and another kiss was Blair's only reaction. Licking his lips, Jim continued. "Third, try not to die again. That totally sucked." A momentary flash of that moment at the fountain clouded Jim's vision and he pulled Blair close again, kissing his hair, his eyes and finally, those pouty lips. "Totally sucked," he said, at once teasing and deadly serious. Blair leaned forward, rubbing their cheeks together. "Totally," he whispered. "Go on Jim," he said softly into his Sentinel's ear, "read the last one." Holding Blair in place where he was, Jim lifted the small pad above Blair's shoulder and read the final entry. "Four, find some way to tell Jim how very much I love him, and keep telling him until he gives up and loves me back."
For long moments, Jim held Blair close. The notepads were tossed aside and their arms held and caressed each other. "Oh, Blair," Jim said softly as he ran his fingers through those beloved curls. "Happy New Year, sweetheart," he murmured.
"Happy New Year, babe," Blair countered, his warm mouth finding its way back to those earthshaking kisses.