(no subject)
I think I've avoided writing for the past few days. Physically I've felt blah. Red nose, phlegm plagued, hacking cough. Yesterday I felt light headed and wobbly. I stepped on the scale today and was surprised. I need to take better care of myself. It's hard because I feel blah mentally as well. Professionally, things have never been better. I am making money and good impressions. But damn is it tiring. Personally I am still feeling estranged, strange, and unworthy. It's hard to keep on arguing with my self- weighing my assets against my deficits. Trying to extend the kindness and compassion I give to others upon myself seems like it should be easy. But it's not and I have turned into my own biggest critic. I'd like to hope that this friction inside myself will spark something positive.