"Half the World Away" - BtVS season 8 - Rated PG
Kennedy signed off, leaving Buffy sitting in the control room staring at a black video screen. Willow sat in a chair by a nearby computer console, idly swiveling back and forth.
Buffy leaned back in her own chair. “Ken certainly gives complete reports, doesn’t she?”
“She remembers that speech you gave in San Jose,” Willow said. “Making a report is like cleaning out a vamp nest, you said. Forget anything, and it’ll sneak up behind and kill you.”
“I said that? I must have been in a great mood that day.”
“Compared to now, yes. This was a great evaluation, Buffy. Satsu and her squad probably saved all our lives. When we left Tokyo, half those girls didn’t know which end of the stake to point at a vampire. Now she’s got them all Tom Clancy, prowling around the Pacific in a submarine and blowing up Stuffed Animal Demons like champs.”
“You’re right.” Buffy crossed her arms and looked down at her lap. “Making her squad leader was the best move I ever made.”
“Sounds like it worked out for both of you,” Willow said with a smile. “Kennedy said it looks like Satsu’s gotten past the… you know, you-and-her thing. I’ll bet that’s a load off your mind. We should go out and celebrate tonight. With all the crap we’ve been taking lately, looks like we all came out of this one smelling flowery. Our ovaries uneaten, and our personal little soap operas taken…”
She quit talking due to Buffy’s noticeable lack of attention-paying. She rolled her chair over next to Buffy’s and gazed up into her friend’s eyes.
“Not feeling much like celebrating, huh?”
Buffy shook her head.
Willow put her arms around Buffy and hugged her tight. “I’m sorry, sweetie,” she said softly. “Things like this can take you by surprise sometimes, can’t they? We all know it’s best this way, but…”
“The best way sure feels lonely sometimes,” Buffy said in a small voice.
“I know.”
“I never even told her what a good job she did,” Buffy said. “I meant to, but… all that’s been going on, and my thoughts have been so… so… do you know that video conference the other day was the first time I even spoke to her since we left Tokyo?”
“I’m sure she understands. She knows what’s at stake, and what you’re dealing with. She’ll know that better than most of us, now.”
Buffy rubbed her eyes. “I’m gonna write her a letter, Will. A real letter, with a pen and paper. Maybe she understands, but… she shouldn’t have to. I don’t get to be like this. She doesn’t deserve it. I’m going to tell her what a great job she’s doing, and how proud I am of her, and… how much I care about her.”
“I know it would make her really happy to get that letter,” Willow assured her. “Maybe you can’t be in love with her, but that doesn’t mean you can’t love her. I think it would mean a lot to her to know you do.”
Buffy looked wistful. “They really were two of the best nights of my life, you know.”
“I can imagine,” Willow said. “Treasure the memories. She does… I can say that from personal knowledge.” She smiled at Buffy. “You know, Summers,” she said, “I’ve gotta say, you and Satsu both have the best taste in women.”
That made Buffy smile at last.
“It’s Friday night,” Willow said. “How about we get changed and I fly you into town for some dinner? And I know a bar where they make Fuzzy Navels with real navel fuzz. Aberdeen isn’t gonna paint itself red tonight, sister.”
“Maybe not red,” Buffy considered. “But I think I might be able to manage a light shade of magenta.”
On her way to her bedroom to change, Buffy stopped in the dark corridor by the big floor-to-ceiling window with the diamond panes, and looked out to see the stars just starting to appear in the sky. Satsu would be sound asleep right now, in the early morning hours of tomorrow. Buffy wondered what she was dreaming about, and if she was alone. A single tear made it to the floor, unchallenged.
“Be happy, Satsu,” she whispered to the stars.