(no subject)
moods are so strange. i woke up today feeling really happy. im so happy.
its for real too. i love everything today. im not high either. yes its 420 but thats not why im magically happy today. :)
oh lalala. also i know now why i never get rid of things. i tend to block things from my memory. especally unpleasant things that were hard for me to deal with. so i see this dress and i remimber this one specific event from around octoberish that made me just wanna die. I dont feel that way anymore, but its strange how many memorys objects hold. Im never getting rid of anything ever again that way i can document my life through crap. then i'll be 88 and have all this stuff and i'll be able to tell my life story through beautiful things.
also im thinking of getting a tattoo, yes a tattoo. maybe two. Im going to get my gran to write Love never dies in russian (she speaks/ writes it) that would mean lots to me. that way it would be in her handwriting and then part of her will always be with me. I went and saw her today. she's so ready to die she says "erika the day i start feeling better will be the happiest day of my life" but i know the only way she's going to feel better is if she dies b/c then she will have no pain and then she will get to live with my grandfater again. i know they miss each other. oh also i want to get a tree made out of hearts, its going to be wonderful and amazing.
its for real too. i love everything today. im not high either. yes its 420 but thats not why im magically happy today. :)
oh lalala. also i know now why i never get rid of things. i tend to block things from my memory. especally unpleasant things that were hard for me to deal with. so i see this dress and i remimber this one specific event from around octoberish that made me just wanna die. I dont feel that way anymore, but its strange how many memorys objects hold. Im never getting rid of anything ever again that way i can document my life through crap. then i'll be 88 and have all this stuff and i'll be able to tell my life story through beautiful things.
also im thinking of getting a tattoo, yes a tattoo. maybe two. Im going to get my gran to write Love never dies in russian (she speaks/ writes it) that would mean lots to me. that way it would be in her handwriting and then part of her will always be with me. I went and saw her today. she's so ready to die she says "erika the day i start feeling better will be the happiest day of my life" but i know the only way she's going to feel better is if she dies b/c then she will have no pain and then she will get to live with my grandfater again. i know they miss each other. oh also i want to get a tree made out of hearts, its going to be wonderful and amazing.