I'm up. I'm gonna have a cup of coffee first. Santiago and I had a very warm nap together. I wish Jackson would sleep on me. I have to sleep in my bed one of these days but sleeping in my chair is so convenient and I can almost always breathe. I'm pretty sure I have sleep apnea when I lie down but I don't have the resources to get it checked out unless the City of San Francisco will pay for sleep studies for poor people. it's supposed to be a serious medical problem but somehow I cannot imagine anyone getting a good night's sleep at SFGH unless one were suffering from an overdose of one kind or another but generally of the sedating kind. but maybe they give out some kind of mouthpiece first to try to head off expensive diagnostics. i suppose I should bring it up with my MD next time I see her.
but anyway Jackson will only sleep next to me but since the bed upstairs is warmer than next to my feet downstairs he sleeps upstairs and is alone when I sleep downstairs. so we miss each other and he jumps up as soon as he sees I am awake and comes and sits next to my computer and stares at me and purrs very loudly. it's kind of charming actually but of course I am expected to maul his head lovingly. which I've been doing in between sentences here. sweet old guy. next to Santiago he seems a paragon of stability and health even though he still coughs sometimes and is afraid of pretty much everything that is not at least a semi-permanent fixture in my room, the only safe place in the world.
he's sitting in a good spot. maybe..
there! Jackson:
Jackson says good morning
I appreciate the thoughts today. I'm going to do a quick search of possible spots for the BC before I leave this morning. I would rather not have to bring something back, although there will probably be forms I will have to take to my lawyer first anyway so I guess it is not that big a deal. this lawyer is so much better than the last one at keeping in touch and checking to see if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing to apply, and that is very helpful, so I imagine she would pester me until I got everything in that I needed to get in. still, getting as much done as I can get during this one exquisitely unpleasant appointment would help to keep me from freaking out later unnecessarily. but I'm not going to freak out about this one piece of paper right now. if I cannot find it it will turn up eventually. I think. unless it has gone to the same place as all my sunglasses. every single pair of clip-ons: gone. it's the rainy season, sure, but down here the sun comes out in between storm systems.
today it's raining so I guess I can not worry about sunglasses. I wonder if they will want to see my actual social security card. I guess I'll take it. that one I'm pretty sure where it is. what else. a pay stub? they have my work history printed out before them when I get there. it's not like I can really show them something they don't have access to; it's the Social Security office! the ultimate arbiter of the Permanent Record.