FIC: People Aren't Meant To Be Alone
TITLE: People Aren't Meant To Be Alone
PAIRING: Steven Gerrard / Xabi Alonso
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction.
SUMMARY: I wrote this after watching an episode of Scrubs where J.D. had a whole speech about how people aren't meant to be alone. Riti(RiyaYNWA) is evil and made me post this. Blame her!!! Feedback would be cool.
Sky Sports was on loud in the living room, but there wasn't a soul to be found watching it. Instead the man who turned it on was upstairs playing pool on his own.
Steven Gerrard hated being alone and that's just what he was. Alone to wallow in his own misery, while everybody else was bonding with family and friends he was left with only himself for company.
Sighing, he knocked the black 8 ball into the pocket he had been aiming for and then and racked up the balls again.
As hard as he tried he just couldn't shake this feeling of utter helplessness. He felt pathetic, like he was the only person in the world who felt this way.
He'd gotten into a massive argument with Alex on what was suppose to be a rare romantic night for them. The kids had been dropped off at their grandmother's house and Stevie and Alex were going to have a nice romantic night in. No kids, no distractions, just them together. The night had started well as they rented a movie and settled on the sofa together after they enjoyed a nice meal. Then everything proceeded to go downhill.
Stevie couldn't get past Alex constant nail biting and like a fool he made a huge fuss over nothing. He couldn't help himself as insult after insult started to come out of his mouth. Some words being true, others just said to hurt. What was wrong with him? The Scouser had no idea why he had started this foul mouth tirade. Alex had done nothing to deserve it and now he was left all alone in the house on a Saturday night as Alex had stormed off after telling Stevie not to expect any company until Monday at the earliest.
Now, the constant silence was suffocating. Stevie just ran over the conversation in his head and wondered why he had to be such a bastard. This hadn't been the first time it had happened either. This was the latest of many outbursts that he couldn't seem to control. It wasn't just Alex either, he had let rip into quite a few people; teammates, friends, family. He didn't know what was wrong with him, why he kept pushing everyone away, but that's what he continued to do. Push away anyone who was willing to put up with him.
He finally put the pool stick on the rack and sat down against the wall.
Maybe it was the season that was doing it to him. He certainly couldn't get lost in football like he used to.
Back when he was a kid, Liverpool could always lift his spirits. He'd come home with a problem from school, turn on the telly and there were his heroes, ready to pick him up after being knocked down. He would forget all his problems as he watched wide-eyed as John Barnes would skip down the touchline with the ball glued to his lethal left foot.
Now when Stevie looked to Liverpool all he felt was pain and frustration. His form had gone to shit and the one person he would always look to for help was gone. No one was there to pinpoint the problem. No one was there to figure out what to do to make everything better again. Sure, he could consult Carra or even Pepe, but it just wasn't the same. He would never let himself look vulnerable in front of them. Not like he would when Xabi was listening.
The more the captain thought about it the more he realized; people aren't meant to be alone. No one is meant to be by themselves. People aren't meant to walk through life without someone to lean on. Everyone needed that one steadying force in life. Someone ready to pick up the pieces when they fell. That person you let all the little things go for.
No matter how many times Xabi would bite his nails to Stevie's annoyance, Stevie would never snap at him. Not like he did with everyone else. He learned to let all the little things go because at the end of the day the little things never mattered. The only thing that ever mattered was the man sitting in front of him. Ready to listen to all of Stevie's troubles. Always there to offer that support the captain so craved without judging eyes. The support others were willing to give, but Stevie wasn't willing to receive.
But what was he suppose to do now? Everyone else was sitting at home with their wives and girlfriends. Stevie should be, but he couldn't. He couldn't handle that his supposed 'rock' wasn't the right person. It wasn’t Alex. He didn't think it ever would be, no matter how hard he tried. It was Xabi.
But Stevie knew something had to change. Something had to change before he was stuck being lonely for more then just a Saturday night. He had to accept Carra's affectionate pats on the back and Alex's comforting kisses as he came home after a tough match.
Xabi, however, didn’t have to make a difficult change. He was perfectly happy with Nagore. The Basque had moved on from his captain. He’d grown up, and away. Stevie wasn't angry about it, he knew it was only natural for Xabi to grow closer with Nagore and in the end it was better for Xabi's family. Stevie understood that. It didn't make it any less frustrating though.
He was shaken out of his thoughts as his cell phone started going off in his pocket.
Xabi calling
Stevie felt an odd sense of optimism rush over him as he answered the call.
"Hey, mate."
"Hey, Stevie."
"Ya okay?"
"Eh I'm a little annoyed to be honest with you," Xabi stated bluntly.
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
Stevie had to hold back a growl as he listened to Xabi's explanation.
"Well, you see, Nagore has this really annoying habit. She is constantly tapping her fingers on everything and dios the noise just drives me crazy."
Stevie considered for a moment that Xabi was feeling just as he was. For a split second he thought that maybe Xabi was missing Stevie too. But as much as he hoped, he just knew that wasn't true. Xabi was just complaining. Nagore’s annoying habits didn't have the same effect on Xabi that Alex's had on Stevie. They didn’t make Xabi realized he wanted Stevie.
"I don't know ho-"
Stevie cut him off.
"Xabi, shut the hell up. Seriously."
After a moment of stunned silence Xabi dared to speak again.
"Is there a problem, Stevie?"
Stevie just rolled his eyes and refrained from throwing his phone at the wall.
"Stop complaining, Xabi. You have to get over the little things. Cause you love her, I know you do. Don't let shit like that get to you. You have too many good things going with her to get caught up on stupid bullshit like that."
Xabi was taken aback by Stevie's overly passionate tirade, and he didn't really know how to respond.
"What the hell, Stevie. Where did all that come from?"
"You wouldn't understand," Stevie replied.
As much as it pained him, he knew it was true. Xabi would never know what it was like to be truly alone. He had Nagore. Nagore was what Xabi needed. Xabi was the one who was prepared to move on, Stevie on the other hand was not. He didn't think he would ever be prepared and he didn't think anyone would be able to replace Xabi.
"Stev-"
"I've gotta go Xabi. I'll talk to you later."
And with that he hung up the phone and continued to sit in his games room. There would never be another Xabi for him, but he knew he would have to move on, but he just didn't know how. He wasn't sure if Alex could be that person for him.
Slowly, he made his way off the floor, dusted himself off and walked downstairs to the living room and to watch TV.
Alone.
PAIRING: Steven Gerrard / Xabi Alonso
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction.
SUMMARY: I wrote this after watching an episode of Scrubs where J.D. had a whole speech about how people aren't meant to be alone. Riti(RiyaYNWA) is evil and made me post this. Blame her!!! Feedback would be cool.
Sky Sports was on loud in the living room, but there wasn't a soul to be found watching it. Instead the man who turned it on was upstairs playing pool on his own.
Steven Gerrard hated being alone and that's just what he was. Alone to wallow in his own misery, while everybody else was bonding with family and friends he was left with only himself for company.
Sighing, he knocked the black 8 ball into the pocket he had been aiming for and then and racked up the balls again.
As hard as he tried he just couldn't shake this feeling of utter helplessness. He felt pathetic, like he was the only person in the world who felt this way.
He'd gotten into a massive argument with Alex on what was suppose to be a rare romantic night for them. The kids had been dropped off at their grandmother's house and Stevie and Alex were going to have a nice romantic night in. No kids, no distractions, just them together. The night had started well as they rented a movie and settled on the sofa together after they enjoyed a nice meal. Then everything proceeded to go downhill.
Stevie couldn't get past Alex constant nail biting and like a fool he made a huge fuss over nothing. He couldn't help himself as insult after insult started to come out of his mouth. Some words being true, others just said to hurt. What was wrong with him? The Scouser had no idea why he had started this foul mouth tirade. Alex had done nothing to deserve it and now he was left all alone in the house on a Saturday night as Alex had stormed off after telling Stevie not to expect any company until Monday at the earliest.
Now, the constant silence was suffocating. Stevie just ran over the conversation in his head and wondered why he had to be such a bastard. This hadn't been the first time it had happened either. This was the latest of many outbursts that he couldn't seem to control. It wasn't just Alex either, he had let rip into quite a few people; teammates, friends, family. He didn't know what was wrong with him, why he kept pushing everyone away, but that's what he continued to do. Push away anyone who was willing to put up with him.
He finally put the pool stick on the rack and sat down against the wall.
Maybe it was the season that was doing it to him. He certainly couldn't get lost in football like he used to.
Back when he was a kid, Liverpool could always lift his spirits. He'd come home with a problem from school, turn on the telly and there were his heroes, ready to pick him up after being knocked down. He would forget all his problems as he watched wide-eyed as John Barnes would skip down the touchline with the ball glued to his lethal left foot.
Now when Stevie looked to Liverpool all he felt was pain and frustration. His form had gone to shit and the one person he would always look to for help was gone. No one was there to pinpoint the problem. No one was there to figure out what to do to make everything better again. Sure, he could consult Carra or even Pepe, but it just wasn't the same. He would never let himself look vulnerable in front of them. Not like he would when Xabi was listening.
The more the captain thought about it the more he realized; people aren't meant to be alone. No one is meant to be by themselves. People aren't meant to walk through life without someone to lean on. Everyone needed that one steadying force in life. Someone ready to pick up the pieces when they fell. That person you let all the little things go for.
No matter how many times Xabi would bite his nails to Stevie's annoyance, Stevie would never snap at him. Not like he did with everyone else. He learned to let all the little things go because at the end of the day the little things never mattered. The only thing that ever mattered was the man sitting in front of him. Ready to listen to all of Stevie's troubles. Always there to offer that support the captain so craved without judging eyes. The support others were willing to give, but Stevie wasn't willing to receive.
But what was he suppose to do now? Everyone else was sitting at home with their wives and girlfriends. Stevie should be, but he couldn't. He couldn't handle that his supposed 'rock' wasn't the right person. It wasn’t Alex. He didn't think it ever would be, no matter how hard he tried. It was Xabi.
But Stevie knew something had to change. Something had to change before he was stuck being lonely for more then just a Saturday night. He had to accept Carra's affectionate pats on the back and Alex's comforting kisses as he came home after a tough match.
Xabi, however, didn’t have to make a difficult change. He was perfectly happy with Nagore. The Basque had moved on from his captain. He’d grown up, and away. Stevie wasn't angry about it, he knew it was only natural for Xabi to grow closer with Nagore and in the end it was better for Xabi's family. Stevie understood that. It didn't make it any less frustrating though.
He was shaken out of his thoughts as his cell phone started going off in his pocket.
Xabi calling
Stevie felt an odd sense of optimism rush over him as he answered the call.
"Hey, mate."
"Hey, Stevie."
"Ya okay?"
"Eh I'm a little annoyed to be honest with you," Xabi stated bluntly.
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
Stevie had to hold back a growl as he listened to Xabi's explanation.
"Well, you see, Nagore has this really annoying habit. She is constantly tapping her fingers on everything and dios the noise just drives me crazy."
Stevie considered for a moment that Xabi was feeling just as he was. For a split second he thought that maybe Xabi was missing Stevie too. But as much as he hoped, he just knew that wasn't true. Xabi was just complaining. Nagore’s annoying habits didn't have the same effect on Xabi that Alex's had on Stevie. They didn’t make Xabi realized he wanted Stevie.
"I don't know ho-"
Stevie cut him off.
"Xabi, shut the hell up. Seriously."
After a moment of stunned silence Xabi dared to speak again.
"Is there a problem, Stevie?"
Stevie just rolled his eyes and refrained from throwing his phone at the wall.
"Stop complaining, Xabi. You have to get over the little things. Cause you love her, I know you do. Don't let shit like that get to you. You have too many good things going with her to get caught up on stupid bullshit like that."
Xabi was taken aback by Stevie's overly passionate tirade, and he didn't really know how to respond.
"What the hell, Stevie. Where did all that come from?"
"You wouldn't understand," Stevie replied.
As much as it pained him, he knew it was true. Xabi would never know what it was like to be truly alone. He had Nagore. Nagore was what Xabi needed. Xabi was the one who was prepared to move on, Stevie on the other hand was not. He didn't think he would ever be prepared and he didn't think anyone would be able to replace Xabi.
"Stev-"
"I've gotta go Xabi. I'll talk to you later."
And with that he hung up the phone and continued to sit in his games room. There would never be another Xabi for him, but he knew he would have to move on, but he just didn't know how. He wasn't sure if Alex could be that person for him.
Slowly, he made his way off the floor, dusted himself off and walked downstairs to the living room and to watch TV.
Alone.