(no subject)
Last night I was assumed to be a 22-year-old's 40-some-years-old mother. The effect that is having on me, especially cummulatively, isn't anywhere close to funny.
Believe me, I would stop wanting people if only I could. Constantly being kindly rejected is taking its toll. And there is an attack on my physical self esteem every time I turn around. Having lost weight and become more active makes me feel better only for the moments between finding an outfit I look & feel good in and leaving my door; reality sets in shortly thereafter.
I've put out a lot of cries for affection and help this week, and no one is noticing or caring much. Maybe they're too quiet or too subtle; I just know the history of what happens when they're less quiet or subtle, and it's about the same as now.
You've got no idea how many times I've thought about it this week alone.
Believe me, I would stop wanting people if only I could. Constantly being kindly rejected is taking its toll. And there is an attack on my physical self esteem every time I turn around. Having lost weight and become more active makes me feel better only for the moments between finding an outfit I look & feel good in and leaving my door; reality sets in shortly thereafter.
I've put out a lot of cries for affection and help this week, and no one is noticing or caring much. Maybe they're too quiet or too subtle; I just know the history of what happens when they're less quiet or subtle, and it's about the same as now.
You've got no idea how many times I've thought about it this week alone.