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[eriiin]

I have 10 mins to update. let's see. I've been working a lot, & yeah.. that's about it. I had to go in today to clean the kitchen upstairs. that took all of an hour. Andrew came to visit me last night and left this morning. we went out to eat when he got here and just drove around till I think midnight. then I found a whole bunch of DVDs in my

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[eriiin]

yeah I dealt with that with Brian too. he said he'd stop, and who knows if he did or didn't. maybe for a while he did, but I still would find sites in the browser thing where you typed the address. finally I was like, whatever if he wants to look at blonde bimbos then let him. Mike watches porn, and he was honest with me about it, I mean I saw lube on his couch and I was like hmmm.. put 2 & 2 together right? and he was open with me that he watches it and I'm fine with it. he didn't keep it from me. he doesn't keep anything from me, and that's why I think I'm more able to accept things he does that I normally wouldn't have been able to. ( we aren't together but still, it should bother me) but it doesn't bother me. for one, cause I went to put a movie in once when he wasn't home and I turned on his porn instead, and the chicks were ugly and so was the guy so I was like well.. if this is what turns him on what the fuck is he doing with a brunette?! LOL it was kinda funny, and I STILL make fun of him daily for it. the girls looked old, and I told him that yesterday, and he's like "they are MY AGE" and I was like okay grandpa! and he's like "they look old to you cause you're 14!!!" I'm like well you just don't know what you want then.. a grandma or a teeny! LOL I told him I'd take him to the porn shop and buy him some good porn with hot chicks at least. lol but anyway, back to you. your self esteem isn't that great as it is, and cause your bf who thinks the world of you, and who you actually feel sexy with, is looking at other girls. of course you're gonna be friggin devastated. & you don't wanna think the person you're in love with is into looking at girls being degraded either. but it is true, all guys do it. single or taken. if they care enough about how you feel, they'll stop. if not, then you either have to just deal with it and accept it or leave. I've heard of that shit destroying many relationships. depending on the person he is, he'll either stop or continue doing it behind your back. I think when people are honest upfront without having to find out on their own, it makes accepting things sooooo much easier.. for me anyway. as gay as this sounds, porn doesn't really bother me because I'm not a busty blonde chick, yanno? I'm the opposite of that.. PLUS I hate blondes (fake ones). but really, I dunno why guys need that extra explosion if they have someone willing to do it for them. why sit in front of a TV or computer screen and do all the work yourself? I don't get how guys work, and I never will.
I hope I helped a little bit. if you need anything else I'm here :) love ya.