searching for the light
i havent used this since ive been in new jersey, so yeah. rundown.
left january 12th 2008, returned may 22nd 2008. a good 3 months away from home. ive learned many people have found new drug problems, some people dont talk as much as they did before, others cant follow what they wanna, others just dropped off the face of the earth. so what have i learned. pretty much stay in california and visit my loved ones. which only will be a total of three people. teague, joey, and lauren. the week ive been back ive just seen people. learned about the 3 months ive been gone and felt a new love in my life of a friend ship that hasnt died. i love my best friend joey, hes been the same since i left, has always been there for me and is my exact oppisote and i know why im best friends with him. i was upset when i first came home, i dont know what to do with this sitation thats haunted me for more than 3 months. i dont know how to handle it anymore, i wanna be forgiving again and love it to pieces. than the next day its gone. its there when it wants to be and i really cant put my self through this anymore, and i keep saying i wanan walk away, and jus let it be because apparently it isnt gonna be much since the other party hasnt tried to make it that. so why do i bother for someone who doesnt want me back equally. even tho they may say it, if you were to say wouldnt you think you would follow your heart. ive been contemplating seeing you this week, for one i dont know if its a good idea, and two i wanna see you more than anyone this week. but since time hasnt been on our side, youve allowed your self to slip way to deep. and reading things, and seeing things really hurt. i dont want to hurt anymore, i jus wanna feel free in which i do, until you show up...
ive done what i wanted in this week, its now time to return to san jose.
left january 12th 2008, returned may 22nd 2008. a good 3 months away from home. ive learned many people have found new drug problems, some people dont talk as much as they did before, others cant follow what they wanna, others just dropped off the face of the earth. so what have i learned. pretty much stay in california and visit my loved ones. which only will be a total of three people. teague, joey, and lauren. the week ive been back ive just seen people. learned about the 3 months ive been gone and felt a new love in my life of a friend ship that hasnt died. i love my best friend joey, hes been the same since i left, has always been there for me and is my exact oppisote and i know why im best friends with him. i was upset when i first came home, i dont know what to do with this sitation thats haunted me for more than 3 months. i dont know how to handle it anymore, i wanna be forgiving again and love it to pieces. than the next day its gone. its there when it wants to be and i really cant put my self through this anymore, and i keep saying i wanan walk away, and jus let it be because apparently it isnt gonna be much since the other party hasnt tried to make it that. so why do i bother for someone who doesnt want me back equally. even tho they may say it, if you were to say wouldnt you think you would follow your heart. ive been contemplating seeing you this week, for one i dont know if its a good idea, and two i wanna see you more than anyone this week. but since time hasnt been on our side, youve allowed your self to slip way to deep. and reading things, and seeing things really hurt. i dont want to hurt anymore, i jus wanna feel free in which i do, until you show up...
ive done what i wanted in this week, its now time to return to san jose.