the 3rd? ending

[ericslikeus]

so i hope i dont have to keep doing this. so maybe this is the final one. i dont know what to say i dont know what to feel. i gave everything, i gave everything and got nothing in return, and whenever i tried to work it out it wasnt a good time. ive came to the conclusion i wont let anyone know how i truely feel about them, i know good as hell i will not utter the l word. i wont get caught up into things that arent going anywhere but south. i watched this jus die out since christmas. the fact that there is no set anything on seeing someone before they leave for awhile, proves to me there was no urge. im let down because i set my self up for something that was gonna blossom into something real. but that thing let the negative get ahold of it. i dont know how one person lets another completely control your life. you never stood up for me, you never cared like you said you did, and i dont care how much you argue at me about it. never once did i feel cared about. this shit would of never taken place if i was cared about. so it took it down to about 5 days till i have to leave. for this shit to happen. i gave you way to many times to make this right, i gave you so many options to bullshit me. but you kept hiding. and the sad thing is it comes down to someone who you even admitted yourself i succeed in certain things than he did. yet you stick with him. i never felt so betrayed by someone who told me this wasnt ever gonna happen. for someone who acted like this was what she wanted, acted that i would be missed. i doubt the whole thing. i feel like complete shit and all i can think of is this surgery on monday and leaving on thursday and the huge chance i wont hear or see from you even when i leave.

so i dont know what to say im not gonna "talk shit" because im not in highschool, and i dont keep my life in the highschool setting like other people. so thanks for pushing me away in the worse way possible, thank you for not proving me wrong. this is done with for now. until you find the right words to say. im completely disgusted by you.