Fear
Today, while moving William's car, I was consumed with this paranoia that I would get into an accident even though it was a minute ride. For some reason, I've always had an inherent fear of getting into accidents, leading me to disown the freeway. But delving deeper, I've noticed a pattern of self-doubt that I find quite discomforting.
Its ironic -at least to me- that I can argue and speak confidently in front of a large crowd, yet I am such a timid and back-pedaling wuss when I am around a small group of people I don't know. What am I really afraid of?! Geoffrey said it best, when he told me that it doesn't matter what others think of you, because the people worth having friends are the ones that can accept you. It's not like I am devoid of any good qualities; when I am comfortable around people: I am sociable, funny and smart. So what am I afraid of?
Why am I afraid of the success that I could reap if I stopped settling for second best?
Why am I afraid of responsibility?
Ultimately: Why am I afraid of what life has to offer?
At the back of my head, I am wondering why am I even writing this entry. I think its mainly because I want to make myself accountable in taking the first step to overcome this fear of life. I've made too many excuses for myself over these last 19 years and it has to stop.
Its ironic -at least to me- that I can argue and speak confidently in front of a large crowd, yet I am such a timid and back-pedaling wuss when I am around a small group of people I don't know. What am I really afraid of?! Geoffrey said it best, when he told me that it doesn't matter what others think of you, because the people worth having friends are the ones that can accept you. It's not like I am devoid of any good qualities; when I am comfortable around people: I am sociable, funny and smart. So what am I afraid of?
Why am I afraid of the success that I could reap if I stopped settling for second best?
Why am I afraid of responsibility?
Ultimately: Why am I afraid of what life has to offer?
At the back of my head, I am wondering why am I even writing this entry. I think its mainly because I want to make myself accountable in taking the first step to overcome this fear of life. I've made too many excuses for myself over these last 19 years and it has to stop.