Elephants and Zebras
... so I'm not dead. Sorry. I know I've got a few stories that probably wont be finished and I am really sorry about that. Life got busy and I fell out of the whole demi/selena fandom thing and got distracted by a few new ones, but the only one characters I could ever really write are those two.
Just something I wrote while bored. A conversation over the phone between Demi and Selena while Demi was still in treatment. I want to flesh it out more, but I don't know.
How do you think we got here?
Well one relatively warm afternoon both of our mothers put us in their cars and drove us to an interview for a coveted spot with a big purple dinosaur.
Demi, I’m being serious … I didn’t mean the actual mechanics, just do you ever wonder how we got here? At this exact point in our lives. What decisions we made, didn’t make... that sort of thing.
I was being serious. Everything I think goes back to that afternoon. If your mom had said no or my mom had listened when I said no… if those things had happened then there would be no decisions, right or wrong.
You might not be in the room you are now.
No. I might not. I might have killed myself in high school.
Don’t. Please don’t say things like that.
It’s the truth though. Being famous didn’t make me this way. Meeting you at a Barney audition when we were nine certainly didn’t either.
I just can’t help but feel if… if you never went, if we never met, then maybe… okay maybe high school would have been awful, maybe you would have hated everyone and they would be mean to you and it would have been worse than now… but maybe it wouldn’t have. Maybe you would have found friends that understood you. Friends that stuck by you and defended you and… and maybe it wouldn’t have been so awful.
Maybe… maybe I would have been eaten by an elephant at the zoo on a class trip.
Elephants don’t eat people.
How do you know?
Because… It’s an elephant. They eat grass or leaves or something. Why would you be even close enough to be eaten?
Because maybe I’m a bit adventurous. Maybe I was dared by a friend. Maybe I was holding a twenty and it blew out of my hand into Joey the Man Eating Elephant's cage and I had to go get it because how else was I going to buy the funny bird glasses I saw in the gift shop.
I’m not certain how I am supposed to respond to that.
Because it is crazy. You shouldn’t know how to respond.
Good to know.
Selena, you can’t live your life based on what might have happened. Maybe things would be better, but they might be worse.
I just wish… I wish I…
You didn’t put me here.
…
Selena, you did not.
I should have...
No!
But I..
My issues are my own. They are mine. Do you understand that? You had nothing to do with those girls in middle school. The things they said, the stuff they did, you were not involved.
But I should have done something!
What!? What could you have done?
… I don’t know. I just… I should have done something.
You did. For ten years you did so much for me. I can’t even… It’s hard, remembering everything. They, the people here, they make me talk about it and it is really hard. I… I hope it helps, but right now it just hurts. It hurts so much and all I do is cry anymore. I hate it. I hate every time my eyes start to water and I hate that I can’t stop it. It is so hard.
Demi I…
It is so hard, but I had you. I have memories of us and the stupid silly kid things we used to do, like the fairs and the movie nights and that night with Dallas and her dumb dance kick thing. I have memories of you holding me when I cried. I can’t… when I think about what all of this would be like without that… without having those memories… Selena, I don’t mean to be dramatic and I’m sorry for loading this on you, but if I didn’t have those moments in my life I would have without a doubt already killed myself. You might not think you did enough, but…
Demi don’t cry, please.
I told you all I do is cry.
I wish I could be there.
I know. I wish you could too. Do you think…
Can I come and visit?
Of course. Thank you.
For what?
Calling.
I should have earlier.
Then the elephant might have eaten you.
Why is there an evil carnivorous elephant after us?
Because that is what evil carnivorous elephants do. Depending on decisions you may or may not make they eat you. I'm sorry this is the first you are hearing about this.
I am too. Next time you find out such important information, please call me. I don't care what time it is.
Even if you are gallivanting around Europe stalking British popstars?
Not stalking, admiring.
Seemed a bit like stalking.
Shut up. Regardless of where I am and the person I may be admiring and not stalking, yes you should call.
What if you are busy with ... with your boyfriend.
You should definitely call then.
So you are? You two are dating?
It's complicated.
Isn't everything. I'm sorry, that wasn't... If you are happy that's all I care about.
We can talk when I visit. I need to explain stuff and it doesn't feel right over the phone.
Okay. I can't wait to see you.
Same.
Watch out for the elephant.
Damn that elephant.
When you get here I will tell you about the zebra.
Zebra?
The only known counter to the carnivorous elephant. It's a yin and yang sort of thing. Theirs is a sordid tale filled with heartbreak and devastation.
Does it end happily?
It will.
Just something I wrote while bored. A conversation over the phone between Demi and Selena while Demi was still in treatment. I want to flesh it out more, but I don't know.
How do you think we got here?
Well one relatively warm afternoon both of our mothers put us in their cars and drove us to an interview for a coveted spot with a big purple dinosaur.
Demi, I’m being serious … I didn’t mean the actual mechanics, just do you ever wonder how we got here? At this exact point in our lives. What decisions we made, didn’t make... that sort of thing.
I was being serious. Everything I think goes back to that afternoon. If your mom had said no or my mom had listened when I said no… if those things had happened then there would be no decisions, right or wrong.
You might not be in the room you are now.
No. I might not. I might have killed myself in high school.
Don’t. Please don’t say things like that.
It’s the truth though. Being famous didn’t make me this way. Meeting you at a Barney audition when we were nine certainly didn’t either.
I just can’t help but feel if… if you never went, if we never met, then maybe… okay maybe high school would have been awful, maybe you would have hated everyone and they would be mean to you and it would have been worse than now… but maybe it wouldn’t have. Maybe you would have found friends that understood you. Friends that stuck by you and defended you and… and maybe it wouldn’t have been so awful.
Maybe… maybe I would have been eaten by an elephant at the zoo on a class trip.
Elephants don’t eat people.
How do you know?
Because… It’s an elephant. They eat grass or leaves or something. Why would you be even close enough to be eaten?
Because maybe I’m a bit adventurous. Maybe I was dared by a friend. Maybe I was holding a twenty and it blew out of my hand into Joey the Man Eating Elephant's cage and I had to go get it because how else was I going to buy the funny bird glasses I saw in the gift shop.
I’m not certain how I am supposed to respond to that.
Because it is crazy. You shouldn’t know how to respond.
Good to know.
Selena, you can’t live your life based on what might have happened. Maybe things would be better, but they might be worse.
I just wish… I wish I…
You didn’t put me here.
…
Selena, you did not.
I should have...
No!
But I..
My issues are my own. They are mine. Do you understand that? You had nothing to do with those girls in middle school. The things they said, the stuff they did, you were not involved.
But I should have done something!
What!? What could you have done?
… I don’t know. I just… I should have done something.
You did. For ten years you did so much for me. I can’t even… It’s hard, remembering everything. They, the people here, they make me talk about it and it is really hard. I… I hope it helps, but right now it just hurts. It hurts so much and all I do is cry anymore. I hate it. I hate every time my eyes start to water and I hate that I can’t stop it. It is so hard.
Demi I…
It is so hard, but I had you. I have memories of us and the stupid silly kid things we used to do, like the fairs and the movie nights and that night with Dallas and her dumb dance kick thing. I have memories of you holding me when I cried. I can’t… when I think about what all of this would be like without that… without having those memories… Selena, I don’t mean to be dramatic and I’m sorry for loading this on you, but if I didn’t have those moments in my life I would have without a doubt already killed myself. You might not think you did enough, but…
Demi don’t cry, please.
I told you all I do is cry.
I wish I could be there.
I know. I wish you could too. Do you think…
Can I come and visit?
Of course. Thank you.
For what?
Calling.
I should have earlier.
Then the elephant might have eaten you.
Why is there an evil carnivorous elephant after us?
Because that is what evil carnivorous elephants do. Depending on decisions you may or may not make they eat you. I'm sorry this is the first you are hearing about this.
I am too. Next time you find out such important information, please call me. I don't care what time it is.
Even if you are gallivanting around Europe stalking British popstars?
Not stalking, admiring.
Seemed a bit like stalking.
Shut up. Regardless of where I am and the person I may be admiring and not stalking, yes you should call.
What if you are busy with ... with your boyfriend.
You should definitely call then.
So you are? You two are dating?
It's complicated.
Isn't everything. I'm sorry, that wasn't... If you are happy that's all I care about.
We can talk when I visit. I need to explain stuff and it doesn't feel right over the phone.
Okay. I can't wait to see you.
Same.
Watch out for the elephant.
Damn that elephant.
When you get here I will tell you about the zebra.
Zebra?
The only known counter to the carnivorous elephant. It's a yin and yang sort of thing. Theirs is a sordid tale filled with heartbreak and devastation.
Does it end happily?
It will.