i feel
i feel like everyone around me is crashing, and there is nothing i can do to help. myself included. and i hate it. i care about my friends so damn much, and i want to be able to tell them that its going to be ok, but how can i assure someone i care for that it will be fine, when in actuality, i dont even know myself?
I want to move on, but im scared of breaking ties that ive worked so hard on building.
I want to play trombone, but i dont want practice
I want to teach, but i dont want to be THE band director
I want to travel, but i have to pay my college loans off
I want to get all my friends together like old times, and all of us just move somewhere new, that way it will be all of us again, but in a new location, but that is so unlikely.
I want to teach (again), but i feel like I am a hack
I want to be a professional Trombone player, but i feel like a hack
I am SO happy with Diana that I'm not happy. I'm too used to extreme conflict, I'm used to having to defend myself at all times of the day, I am used to having someone be mad at me for no reason, and then do as little as they could to explain why. I am so used to not being trusted (without good reason), that I don't even know if i trust myself.
I have basically all that I could want, but I feel like there is something missing.
i miss my friends, we live in the same house, but i never see them
I miss leo
i miss ed, charles, kathy, pete, mar, tom, kristin, kim, brian (just to name a few there are more, if i didn't write your name, trust me, i miss you too)
living in NB is a blessing and a curse, I have SO much freedom that I can't take it, yet when I am home, i feel caged.
I was able to get away, but in doing so, i distanced myself from people i care for.
I miss my brother, i never see him anymore, and when I do, he and his wife are fighting, and I'm almost positive its over me, why i dont know, i just feel un-welcomed in their home by her. i miss going home, and playing videogames with him, or watching a movie late at night when we were bored.
i miss last picked, the best time in my life thus far, i miss the camaraderie.
i miss playing shows every weekend with your best friends in the whole world
i miss them
i love progression, but i hate change.
-Eric
I want to move on, but im scared of breaking ties that ive worked so hard on building.
I want to play trombone, but i dont want practice
I want to teach, but i dont want to be THE band director
I want to travel, but i have to pay my college loans off
I want to get all my friends together like old times, and all of us just move somewhere new, that way it will be all of us again, but in a new location, but that is so unlikely.
I want to teach (again), but i feel like I am a hack
I want to be a professional Trombone player, but i feel like a hack
I am SO happy with Diana that I'm not happy. I'm too used to extreme conflict, I'm used to having to defend myself at all times of the day, I am used to having someone be mad at me for no reason, and then do as little as they could to explain why. I am so used to not being trusted (without good reason), that I don't even know if i trust myself.
I have basically all that I could want, but I feel like there is something missing.
i miss my friends, we live in the same house, but i never see them
I miss leo
i miss ed, charles, kathy, pete, mar, tom, kristin, kim, brian (just to name a few there are more, if i didn't write your name, trust me, i miss you too)
living in NB is a blessing and a curse, I have SO much freedom that I can't take it, yet when I am home, i feel caged.
I was able to get away, but in doing so, i distanced myself from people i care for.
I miss my brother, i never see him anymore, and when I do, he and his wife are fighting, and I'm almost positive its over me, why i dont know, i just feel un-welcomed in their home by her. i miss going home, and playing videogames with him, or watching a movie late at night when we were bored.
i miss last picked, the best time in my life thus far, i miss the camaraderie.
i miss playing shows every weekend with your best friends in the whole world
i miss them
i love progression, but i hate change.
-Eric