(no subject)
I can't decide if i'm happy or sad today. Admitedly i've had a good day. Work was really busy so the day went really fast. Bronya liked the database i created for our research, which was a relief, and i was well chuffed to hear ravinder had been telling people i've been working really hard recently.Its always nice to get some recognition for hard work. We went for a (expensive) curry after work. It was a good laugh, but i have to say the food was not a patch on Pedros.
I've also got a good weekend coming up so i'm happy about that to. J's coming back friday, so will probably just chill friday, go up town saturday day, then i think we are meeting jon and his new girlfriend on saturday. Sunday i'm going to meed kelly and carly for a drink. We were supposed to be meeting yesterday, but kel was ill and carly had to see her aunt so it never materialised.
Despite all this goodness i have to look forward to i still feel down. The reason i feel down, is that i'm kind of questioning myself. I keep thinking i'm a boring person, and i worry that i'm not very good at one to one conversations (when i'm sobre anyway). i'm fine when i'm in a group and i've got people to bounce off. I suspect i'm just being paranoid. Anyway it doesn't really matter if i'm boring, i should look at the positives in life, like even if i am boring i've got a few really good friends, and i'd rather have three really good mates, then 10 averagey mates. I don't know who i'd class as my good mates at the moment. I think it varies depending on who i see most. Theirs four people maybe five acctually that i would class as really good friends that if trouble hit i know i could turn to them. One of thems male so i don't know if i should count him, cos men always randomly go quiet once they get girlfriends. mmmmmmmmmmm come to think of it i don't know what i'm moaning for. I have to have at least one confidence crisis a week. i think i'm being like this cos i don't go out as much as i did say a year ago, but thats probably just a sign of getting older, and well not being at uni anymore.
I'll stop my inate rambling now anyway. i don't know why i've randomly opened up on hear today, i guess its just what its here for.
I've also got a good weekend coming up so i'm happy about that to. J's coming back friday, so will probably just chill friday, go up town saturday day, then i think we are meeting jon and his new girlfriend on saturday. Sunday i'm going to meed kelly and carly for a drink. We were supposed to be meeting yesterday, but kel was ill and carly had to see her aunt so it never materialised.
Despite all this goodness i have to look forward to i still feel down. The reason i feel down, is that i'm kind of questioning myself. I keep thinking i'm a boring person, and i worry that i'm not very good at one to one conversations (when i'm sobre anyway). i'm fine when i'm in a group and i've got people to bounce off. I suspect i'm just being paranoid. Anyway it doesn't really matter if i'm boring, i should look at the positives in life, like even if i am boring i've got a few really good friends, and i'd rather have three really good mates, then 10 averagey mates. I don't know who i'd class as my good mates at the moment. I think it varies depending on who i see most. Theirs four people maybe five acctually that i would class as really good friends that if trouble hit i know i could turn to them. One of thems male so i don't know if i should count him, cos men always randomly go quiet once they get girlfriends. mmmmmmmmmmm come to think of it i don't know what i'm moaning for. I have to have at least one confidence crisis a week. i think i'm being like this cos i don't go out as much as i did say a year ago, but thats probably just a sign of getting older, and well not being at uni anymore.
I'll stop my inate rambling now anyway. i don't know why i've randomly opened up on hear today, i guess its just what its here for.