Catching up
I think I have tennis elbow. Actually, I don't know what tennis elbow is, or whether you can get it from holding a 17+ -pound, four-and-a-half-month-old kiddo in the same arm all the time, but if you can, then I probably have it.
So, I haven't been blogging in a while. That trend will probably continue, especially now that school is just about over so I don't have to deal with the daily little things I still needed to take care of even though I'm on leave. Now I'll be able to use Remi's naps to get some reading done, and the garden (more specifically, the flower pots) will soon become something for me to attend to during the day.
Things are good here. If I have tennis elbow, it's from holding Remi a lot and carrying him around. Sometimes he just wants to be in somebody's arms. I think that, increasingly, it's specifically my arms he wants, but right now he'll still go to other people pretty easily. He's generally a pretty cheerful kiddo, which has made things fairly easy for me on the scale of things. That last caveat is important, of course, because this parenting gig isn't exactly what I'd call easy. It's just that I've had a pretty easy little guy from the start. He eats and sleeps well-- Remi has been sleeping 10-11 hours through the night since he was two months old (he's four and a half months now), so I've been getting a decent amount of sleep. And he's growing well, sticking (so far) to the 90th percentile for height and weight.
We had some worries about a flat spot on his skull, because he used to sleep exclusively with his head turned to the right. As he's gotten more control over his body in the last, oh, five weeks or so, he has started turning it either way to sleep, and obviously with more tummy time and sitting in people's laps and such, it looks like the flat spot has improved. The doctor wasn't worried about it at the four-month checkup, so I'm not worried anymore.
Being a mom has basically involved having perpetually mixed feelings for me. I absolutely adore Remi, and half the time I don't want to do anything but take care of him. But that's probably possible only because I've had things to do at school (despite being on leave for this semester) that get me out of the house-- Grandma and Grandpa have been more than happy to babysit-- so that I haven't felt trapped and stuck with the baby all the time. Aaron is, of course, wonderful about making sure that I get some time on evenings and weekends for myself. And when he gives me a choice, I usually opt for dishes or whatever and let Aaron have Remi for a while. This is mostly not because I'm tired of child care (though sometimes I am!); it's mostly because I want to make sure Aaron gets to bond with him too. Anyway, the mixed feelings come from stuff like loving Remi so much that I want to be his main caretaker all the time, vs. knowing that in the long run I wouldn't be able to stand that (and it's good for him to spend some time away from me anyway; I'm glad he's gotten to spend lots of time with the local grandparents). And things like looking forward to each milestone, but then knowing that that milestone marks a stage that's already over. Right now, I'm kind of looking forward to introducing Remi to foods other than breastmilk, but starting that means the beginning of the end of breastfeeding. I mean, I plan to keep breastfeeding until at least his first birthday (maybe longer-- I know it's good for them), but still. Bananas are the beginning of him not needing me as much. Which is liberating, both for me and for him, but still. There's nothing like these first few months, and I'm so glad I've taken the time off. I hope I'll be able to do it again next time.
The thing I agonize over right now is sending him to day care in two more months. (Where has the time gone?!?) I think we've chosen a great day care, so I'm not worried about his experience there. I'm just sad to leave him with someone else for most of his waking hours. There are plenty of good things about doing it, both for me and for him, but it still makes me sad. I know people manage to do it just fine, and everyone adjusts, but right now the thought of seeing him for only a few hours per day while he's awake makes me tear up. He's such a sweetie! (And SO CUTE!) I don't want to miss anything. At the same time-- here are those mixed feelings again-- I've kind of been looking forward to planning my classes for next semester and working on some of my scholarly projects.
But I try to keep my mind off that and just enjoy the time we have when I get to concentrate just on Remi. I think I've been doing a pretty good job of that so far. I love his little giggles and his continual razzing (do we have a trumpet player on our hands?) and the way he gets fascinated when I drink a glass of water. Aaron said just last night that he likes to watch us together because we have a great connection. That's nice to hear.
As for the tennis elbow, well, I'm sure a little ibuprofen will fix it. I'm definitely not going to stop holding the kiddo. :)
So, I haven't been blogging in a while. That trend will probably continue, especially now that school is just about over so I don't have to deal with the daily little things I still needed to take care of even though I'm on leave. Now I'll be able to use Remi's naps to get some reading done, and the garden (more specifically, the flower pots) will soon become something for me to attend to during the day.
Things are good here. If I have tennis elbow, it's from holding Remi a lot and carrying him around. Sometimes he just wants to be in somebody's arms. I think that, increasingly, it's specifically my arms he wants, but right now he'll still go to other people pretty easily. He's generally a pretty cheerful kiddo, which has made things fairly easy for me on the scale of things. That last caveat is important, of course, because this parenting gig isn't exactly what I'd call easy. It's just that I've had a pretty easy little guy from the start. He eats and sleeps well-- Remi has been sleeping 10-11 hours through the night since he was two months old (he's four and a half months now), so I've been getting a decent amount of sleep. And he's growing well, sticking (so far) to the 90th percentile for height and weight.
We had some worries about a flat spot on his skull, because he used to sleep exclusively with his head turned to the right. As he's gotten more control over his body in the last, oh, five weeks or so, he has started turning it either way to sleep, and obviously with more tummy time and sitting in people's laps and such, it looks like the flat spot has improved. The doctor wasn't worried about it at the four-month checkup, so I'm not worried anymore.
Being a mom has basically involved having perpetually mixed feelings for me. I absolutely adore Remi, and half the time I don't want to do anything but take care of him. But that's probably possible only because I've had things to do at school (despite being on leave for this semester) that get me out of the house-- Grandma and Grandpa have been more than happy to babysit-- so that I haven't felt trapped and stuck with the baby all the time. Aaron is, of course, wonderful about making sure that I get some time on evenings and weekends for myself. And when he gives me a choice, I usually opt for dishes or whatever and let Aaron have Remi for a while. This is mostly not because I'm tired of child care (though sometimes I am!); it's mostly because I want to make sure Aaron gets to bond with him too. Anyway, the mixed feelings come from stuff like loving Remi so much that I want to be his main caretaker all the time, vs. knowing that in the long run I wouldn't be able to stand that (and it's good for him to spend some time away from me anyway; I'm glad he's gotten to spend lots of time with the local grandparents). And things like looking forward to each milestone, but then knowing that that milestone marks a stage that's already over. Right now, I'm kind of looking forward to introducing Remi to foods other than breastmilk, but starting that means the beginning of the end of breastfeeding. I mean, I plan to keep breastfeeding until at least his first birthday (maybe longer-- I know it's good for them), but still. Bananas are the beginning of him not needing me as much. Which is liberating, both for me and for him, but still. There's nothing like these first few months, and I'm so glad I've taken the time off. I hope I'll be able to do it again next time.
The thing I agonize over right now is sending him to day care in two more months. (Where has the time gone?!?) I think we've chosen a great day care, so I'm not worried about his experience there. I'm just sad to leave him with someone else for most of his waking hours. There are plenty of good things about doing it, both for me and for him, but it still makes me sad. I know people manage to do it just fine, and everyone adjusts, but right now the thought of seeing him for only a few hours per day while he's awake makes me tear up. He's such a sweetie! (And SO CUTE!) I don't want to miss anything. At the same time-- here are those mixed feelings again-- I've kind of been looking forward to planning my classes for next semester and working on some of my scholarly projects.
But I try to keep my mind off that and just enjoy the time we have when I get to concentrate just on Remi. I think I've been doing a pretty good job of that so far. I love his little giggles and his continual razzing (do we have a trumpet player on our hands?) and the way he gets fascinated when I drink a glass of water. Aaron said just last night that he likes to watch us together because we have a great connection. That's nice to hear.
As for the tennis elbow, well, I'm sure a little ibuprofen will fix it. I'm definitely not going to stop holding the kiddo. :)