Hidden
Hidden
He’d lived his life the best that he could. He’d tried to do right by his country, his family and his friends. He had risked everything to save all three, sometimes at the same time. And he’d give anything to spare his wife the memories of the horrors she’d gone through. And so for years, he kept pushing his guilt further and further back into his mind, ignoring it and the consequences and hoping that both would eventually go away.
Only at night, when he was unable to sleep and after Arica had already dozed off, did he understand that the guilt could no more go away for him than the memories could for his wife. They had both been damaged that day. Arica had suffered both physically and emotionally. He saw his emotional pain as something less than hers, something that wasn’t truly real or warranted.
And he managed to hide that for several years until finally he could take no more hiding and had taken the anger out on his family, nearly hitting the very person he wanted to protect. He never remembered being so scared as the moment when he’d realized what he’d almost done. Then there was the pain of her kicking him out. Looking back he understood why she’d done it. The kids came before and above all else.
And that’s when he’d sought out the help of God through the church; the place Arica always went first and the place he rarely if ever went.
And that’s when he’d learned that keeping his feelings hidden was only destroying himself as well as his wife.
That’s where he learned that his anger, his pain and emotional scarring was very real and very understandable.
You feel as you do because you want to protect her. God put these protective feelings in you because you love this woman. The feelings themselves are not bad things. It’s good that you feel that way. Your actions are what need to be examined.
Eric Weiss
Alias
Word Count: 333
He’d lived his life the best that he could. He’d tried to do right by his country, his family and his friends. He had risked everything to save all three, sometimes at the same time. And he’d give anything to spare his wife the memories of the horrors she’d gone through. And so for years, he kept pushing his guilt further and further back into his mind, ignoring it and the consequences and hoping that both would eventually go away.
Only at night, when he was unable to sleep and after Arica had already dozed off, did he understand that the guilt could no more go away for him than the memories could for his wife. They had both been damaged that day. Arica had suffered both physically and emotionally. He saw his emotional pain as something less than hers, something that wasn’t truly real or warranted.
And he managed to hide that for several years until finally he could take no more hiding and had taken the anger out on his family, nearly hitting the very person he wanted to protect. He never remembered being so scared as the moment when he’d realized what he’d almost done. Then there was the pain of her kicking him out. Looking back he understood why she’d done it. The kids came before and above all else.
And that’s when he’d sought out the help of God through the church; the place Arica always went first and the place he rarely if ever went.
And that’s when he’d learned that keeping his feelings hidden was only destroying himself as well as his wife.
That’s where he learned that his anger, his pain and emotional scarring was very real and very understandable.
You feel as you do because you want to protect her. God put these protective feelings in you because you love this woman. The feelings themselves are not bad things. It’s good that you feel that way. Your actions are what need to be examined.
Eric Weiss
Alias
Word Count: 333