Long overdue.
I didn't have anyone to tell. Conversations never allowed for it and some people weren't interested in hearing about it. In the end I've decided to put it out there for everyone.
I really did fall in love with him. It wasn't the healthiest thing to happen, but I didn't have a choice. My heart jumped every time my phone rang because I hoped it would be him. I called him in the middle of the night hoping he'd answer and tell me about his day. I wanted to fall asleep next to him.
But that just wasn't how this played out. He never called. He never answered when I called. He was never there when I fell asleep. He was just never there at all. Maybe it was too little too late, but the fact remains that I showed up and he didn.t
Every time I wanted to tell him that I loved him, he wasn't there. Leaving me to wonder if I should even tell him. I mean, what's the point of admitting your love to someone who treats you like shit? I guess there's the hope that they'll come to their senses. But that doesn't last forever because it becomes a hollow pursuit.
I gave it everything I had. Turns out that "everything I had" wasn't enough, and now I'm fresh out. So I'm going.
Last Friday I deleted Evan from my phone and gave up any other method I had of contacting him. The fact that he'll never notice I stopped calling is pretty much why I've stopped calling.
It's almost funny... He walked away because I hadn't told him, I'm walking about because he was never there for me to tell him. Vicious cycles and all that...
So here's the truth, the moral, the bare facts: I fell in love and I'm a sorry it didn't work out.
"if love has come at last,
it's picked the worst time.
still i know, i've got to go"
~Meadowlark
I really did fall in love with him. It wasn't the healthiest thing to happen, but I didn't have a choice. My heart jumped every time my phone rang because I hoped it would be him. I called him in the middle of the night hoping he'd answer and tell me about his day. I wanted to fall asleep next to him.
But that just wasn't how this played out. He never called. He never answered when I called. He was never there when I fell asleep. He was just never there at all. Maybe it was too little too late, but the fact remains that I showed up and he didn.t
Every time I wanted to tell him that I loved him, he wasn't there. Leaving me to wonder if I should even tell him. I mean, what's the point of admitting your love to someone who treats you like shit? I guess there's the hope that they'll come to their senses. But that doesn't last forever because it becomes a hollow pursuit.
I gave it everything I had. Turns out that "everything I had" wasn't enough, and now I'm fresh out. So I'm going.
Last Friday I deleted Evan from my phone and gave up any other method I had of contacting him. The fact that he'll never notice I stopped calling is pretty much why I've stopped calling.
It's almost funny... He walked away because I hadn't told him, I'm walking about because he was never there for me to tell him. Vicious cycles and all that...
So here's the truth, the moral, the bare facts: I fell in love and I'm a sorry it didn't work out.
"if love has come at last,
it's picked the worst time.
still i know, i've got to go"
~Meadowlark